In the beginning it was said that God made man, and then made women from man hence woman. However, drama started in the garden, because Adam was a whuss, and she got curious. Confused? Don’t be I’ll explain later, keep reading.
Why Can't You Get That Second Date?
Have you ever wondered why, you can’t get that second date with that hot chick you been obsessing over? Sure you have. I’m sure you’re a nice guy,and have loads to offer, but somehow that is not enough.
Sadly, I write this article, blog, and take, respectfully; because not only have I had experiences where I tanked and got pushed in the friend zone, and came out holding myself instead of her. I found that men are egotistical and hate correcting their actions, resulting in a continuance of the same results.
My Story
I knew a girl once, let’s call her Jessica, because I have never met an ugly Jessica. She was a nurse, with a tall athletic body, legs from here to Tallahassee. Golden skin, plum lips and smile, so intoxicating I tripped over myself when she was near. Her voice was light and raspy, she had a slight accent, and her eyes changed with her mood. Needless to say I was in Love.
I met her through a mutual friend, it was originally a blind date, and this is how it went.
I got spiffy, washed my car, and brought her flowers, met her at the restaurant. Every door I opened, I talked about all of my achievements, you know, just to tell her that she was out with a great guy.
I told her multiple times how beautiful she was, but I killed her with the compliments:
“Your eyes, are gorgeous."
"Love your outfit."
"Your hair is beautiful."
"You're sexy, probably get a lot guys after you?”
The restaurant was fancy, candlelit and the whole nine yard. Afterwards, we separated and I hovered, hoping to get a kiss.
Finally, we separated, and as soon as I got in my car and headed on my way home, I started missing her. I called her right away, and with a smooth voice, I told her, “Hey baby, I miss you already, what do you want to do tomorrow?” I held the phone in my sweaty palms and held the phone from my ears because I thought I lost connection.
“Hello,” I say weakly. “Yeah, I’m here,” she chuckled, and continued, “You're silly, Tony, I think you’re a nice guy, but I’m busy. Maybe some other time.” She hung up because her mom called suddenly.
Anybody speak womanese? Because at the time, I did not know I was being let down easily. I pursued her tirelessly; we went out on many dates, but as friends only.
I spent money, and heard about her cute guy friends. I’d call and she be hanging with dudes at the pool, and going on overnight trips with them.
So what gives? Anybody know what I did wrong? Well if you don’t, let me explain….
Become the Challenge
Statistics show that 90% of women lose interest in men, who are not a challenge. What it means is that women would rather chase you, because she is a curious creature.
When I got the date with Jessica, I was good with being a gentlemen, but I should have just took her to a coffee house for the first date. If you are just meeting a girl, rather it be a blind date, or someone you have met face to face, start off with something simple to see what’s up.
Stop Spending Money
Spending money on a girl may send the wrong signals to her. She may feel that you’re trying to really impress her, by your throwing money around. Women can easily feel objectified and you don’t want that.
For the man, who does this, keep in mind that you don’t have to be fancy for the first meeting because she may not like you. Stay within your budget and build a rapport with her, and once you're sure she likes you, then bump her up from Starbucks to The Cheesecake Factory.
Don't Talk Too Much
Its okay to show her yourself, she wants to see it, just not all of it at one time. You are the man, so your job is to interview her and listen to what she is saying, pick up on her personality, what she likes, what really grinds her gears, and what melts her heart.
When I talked about my achievements, I thought she would be impressed. I wanted to show her that I wasn’t some lame slob, sitting on couch playing video games all day. However, your job is not to impress a woman, but to keep her interested.
After the date, her pretty little mouth should be dry after all the talking she has done, and then she should say, “I feel like I really don’t know too much about you because I had been talking all about me.”
Remember Gentlemen: Everyone loves talking about themselves, so letting her express who she is makes her feel she can talk to you, which is good, you have her hooked now.
Space, is Not the Final Frontier
Giving her space after the date is great. After you escort her to the car and you tell her you had a nice time. You lean in for a hug, and if you're lucky you might get a kiss, which would be AWESOME. Then you go your separate ways. Don’t text her, don’t call, let sometime pass.
“Oh but Tony, you are wrong, she will forget about me!”
No, she won’t forget about you, in fact she will wonder, why you haven’t called her. She will text or call you because she is curious if you are still interested.
Look, most guys she has dated, or still dating while going out with you are blowing up her phone, making promises that they can’t keep. She is entertained but she is tired of the same ole, same ole. You are hanging back, being cool, and mysterious like that bad ass vampire on Twilight.
When she calls you back or texts you, set up another date. If you don’t hear from her, call her in five to seven days and see if she is interested in going on a date. Until the date, stay off the phone and text sparingly. Remember guys the phone is for setting up the date - you can talk in person.
If you don’t heed my advice, you would have talked everyday, text all night and left no mystery, and she will get bored quickly or eventually.
Red Flags! Red Means Stop, Danger, Alert…
When I professed my undying soul to Jessica, a chick I had just met, I alerted her and gave her the red flag. It said, “Danger Tony is a stage 5 clinger who needs your attention every waking moment.”
Meanwhile, she’s thinking "I can’t breathe, oh my God, this guy is psycho!"
Don't Reveal Too Much Too Soon
Remember guys, its okay to miss her, but keep that to yourself please! If you bare your soul too soon, then she will see you as weak, and that she has you too easily. You start getting mushy with a hot chick and see that you don’t get awkward silence.
How many guys on GAG have asked, “Why after I told her how I felt she acts strange?” Better yet How many girls have asked, “I like him, but he likes me more, and I don’t know if I want to be with him.” Remember guys its okay for women to tell you she loves you too soon, but it’s not good for the guy. Let her do the mushy stuff first, and then do it, but not so much.
Women Are Curious Creatures
As I said earlier Eve took the fruit only because she was told she couldn’t have it. Women are curious by nature, so spark her curiosity by not showing all your cards at once. If she truly likes you, she will explore you, and won't get tired of it.
As a matter of fact #myTake is more about the man being patient and careful about how he approaches a woman he adores.
Play the Game
“But Tony, you’re teaching men how to play games.”
Life is a game, everything you do from eating, working, driving, is related to strategy and being more efficient. Dating and relationships are the same. To get good at dating women you have to practice and know that women are beautiful creatures who just want a man to take it slow, and make her wonder.
We've all heard women say, “He’s got game!” so, play to win, my friend. If you want her, you'll have to do what it takes to win her.
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