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No more Mr. Nice guy! (Page 2)
Anonymous
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No. Just no. The saying is like that cuz there are a lot of bitches in this world. Apparently, you're only chasing bitches who are into jerks. There are girls who want a nice guy, you just don't look for them. I, for example get disgusted by bad guys who treat women like shit. And im sure there are other girls like me out there. So a message to the nice guys out there: please do not change into jerks. Stop chasing bitches and go for the nice girls.
Oh and being nice is a quality that i look for in guys and that I find attractive
I like 👍 your comment, good advice 👍
Wow! Couldn't have explained it any better man! It hurts doesn't it? Sonic03 need to explain it to me anymore buddy, I've been there done that. Sure in the "movies" these girls watch, if you would've done that, by the end of the movie you would've gotten the girl, but sadly it's not like that in real life. And why isn't it? Don't girls base their whole love life off of these movies? I'll tell you why, it's because of appearance. I guarantee you if someone as attractive as zac efron did what you did, that girl of yours wouldn't have hesitated and wouldve got on that. Think about it. What makes you any different than that? And I don't know what you look like, but if the shoe fits. Check out my article on this, you'll like it I promise lol
www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a8412-nice-guys-do-finish-last-it-s-sad-but-it-s-true
You've clearly been making yourself believe that girls are flirting with you when actually, they're just being nice to you. They don't find you attractive or want anything more. If a guy did what you did for me and I actually liked him, it would make me want him more.
I'm fed up of all this nice guy stuff, you guys will never understand.
"You've clearly been making yourself believe that girls are flirting with you when actually, they're just being nice to you. They don't find you attractive or want anything more."
That's quite the assumption.
How about being genuine for once? Forcing niceness is not the same as being nice, you have to feel it and express that niceness for real. If you are fake people will pick up on that. Also ruining your good demeanor just because someone was not friendly to you is very stupid (like cutting off your nose to spite your face). You are gonna come across a ton of girls that are not right for you, but becoming nasty won't help you. I was flaked on a lot, but I was never mean or nasty to new guys that I met, I just dropped the flakes and moved on.
I am genuine. Always have been. I have never had to force niceness. Because I'm naturally nice.
As I had stated this is just one example of many. I'm not about to cut my nose off because of one instance.
Look at it this way: if each time you stick your hand in the water to catch a fish for food, you loose a finger to a shark, after repeatedly loosing fingers, is it no wise to stop putting your hand in there and get a damn fishing rod?
On many occasions my nice nature has worked against me. Time to try somthing new.
Stop obsessing and idealizing women. Look at them as human beings first and foremost. You need to date more than one at the same time. You'll get a whole new perspective and despite how your dates might react, they will find you more attractive, more of a "catch". A nice guy is never a catch because a nice guy is not "in demand" and therefore has no inherent value. It's the old offer and deman principle. If you're all offer, and not in demand, you are not of "value". HOw can you lift her own low self esteem if you cannot be shown off as a trophee boyfriend? By having value, you raise her own value by association. And stop using the term "nice guy". It's just a fancier version of "push-over", or "coward". Even without being a "bad boy", you can start focussing on your own passions and interests and maybe, just maybe you will become successful - and happy - in life. Then, out of nowhere, you will meet a girl who truly respects you.
Wow. She's an idiot for sure. One thing I think is helpful is to look at the type of women you are attracted to, figure out if you're attracted to idiots before thinking every woman is like that because the women I hang out with surely aren't like her and actuallly is looking for a guy who is kind enough to do that.
Since when does being "nice" entitle you to anything?
Think of it this way: when a person goes on a good date, they gush about the other person. When someone goes on a bad date, they'll say "He seemed nice," and leave it at that.
Nice is the modern equivalent of just acceptable. You don't get anything for being nice, but you do for being interesting.
I never said, nor have I ever felt entitled to anything.
I just did not expect that my nice guy nature would actually work against me, as in my example, and many other experiances I have had.
I do have many other qualities besides being nice, and people find me very interesting.
Since I've stopped being so nice to women I'm interested in, the situation has improved immensely. If only I'd have know this so much earlier.
I think the media is to blame for this. The media and movies teach us to be nice, bend over backwards and do anything for women in order to get them and that is so blatantly wrong. You'll hear women spewing the same shit, but who they say they want and who they end up with are two different things.
Acting super nice only makes a girl think you're clingy, desperate, a pushover, and ultimately being nice in order to get shit out of them in return. Personally, what's worse is I get told I'm the nicest guy and I don't go consider myself a nice guy or tell others how nice I am. I just don't fuck with people unless they fuck with me and I think people lump genuinely nice people in with fake nice guys. I don't think I could be a "dick" or "bad boy" if I tried. It's like no matter what I do, I'm labeled a nice guy.
That being said, I don't think EVERY girl wants an asshole or bad boy. Going by that logic, every guy that's has a girlfriend/wife/etc or even a hookup is an asshole.
There are some with attention issues that like bad boys and to me those are the ones you want to avoid. They're the type that will fall for the bad boy, think they can change him and once the bad boy blows them off they will complain about the bad boy. Once they find someone who cares for them, they blow off that person and go back to the bad boy ex or someone similar to the bad boy ex. These people are best left alone in their own misery. Too high maintenance.
I also have been called the nice and you have such a soft heart. The guy that marries you will be so lucky.
For the most part the only men interested in dating me are the ones that want to take my care giving nature for granted.
So yea some days it sucks being the nice girl, but i wouldn't give up on it.
I like being nice and knowing that i love taking care of others and being there for my friends.
I wouldn't like myself any other way:)
So men can try to take advantage and be jerks but its not like they will get anywhere because with a soft heart, I was also given a wise mind
Nice guys don't always finish last, you're just looking the wrong places. It's no different than a guy taking a good girl for granted. You can't change someone, and you can't change yourself to be what you think women want. You be you and the right one will come along. I personally love me a good man, that can be a little bad for me (if you know what I mean ).
What she means by this is you're looking for women out of your league. She's saying it nice but that's what she's saying.
The difference between nice, and creepy in someone's eyes is whether or not they're attracted to you
No, I'm nicely saying that some chicks can be dumbass' just as much as men can be. The girls looking to change a bad boy into some sort of knight in shining armor are, well retarded. Can't expect to be treated like a dime when you go after assholes. I don't know this guy personally, so I don't know if he's really a genuine nice guy or needy but I don't see any point in going after anyone that can't accept you for who you are. If they too dumb or stuck up, then they're not worth the time.
My mom taught me to treat women with respect and care and I never have had a problem getting girls. If they use you then they weren't the right woman anyway. I think the better take would be "Are you flirting with the wrong woman?"
LOL. People on here...
So... your personality is sweet. And it is what many women want. But we want LOOKS as well.
You don't have to be gorgeous hot to many of us. Just cute.
A lot of women like that bad-boy look... not necessarily the bad boys themselves. And yes, there are women who will choose a hot guy with a crap personality for many reasons.
I think it's safer to say that looks and personality are what many women want. What differs is to the varying degree that we want them.
every nice girl and guy do get treated like shit, by the wrong people. Don't give people the benefit of the doubt until you get to know them first. stop letting bad people make you into a bitter person. being a nice guy is fine, but chose which girl deserves that nice guy persona. if you give every girl the nice guy attitude, then that's your fault, because this world does have nasty people, but some people can't accept that and in turn become bitter. it's a Shame really.
You don't have to be a 'nice guy', but there is no need to be a jerk either. Following the middle path is the best way.
The next time a girl rejected you for being a 'nice guy', just tell her something like "Thanks for rejecting me now itself, instead of leading me on and then dumping me for a jerk".
Good. Stop being the nice guy trying to please everyone.
Only be a good guy for the girls deserving it. The rest? Eh, treat em like just another girl.
And please, for the love of god, learn to read a woman to figure her archetype. It will save you for A LOT of crap like that.
Tldr: only be nice towards those deserving it
I feel your pain. You're just fed up with being genuinely nice and there's nothing wrong with being fed up. People who said nice guys can't have any negative feelings or aren't really a nice guy are hypocrites. I rather hear a guy complain than have him kill someone and/or himself. REMEMBER NICE GUYS ARE PEOPLE TOO!
One of two things is going on here. Have you considerded the possibility that you aren't actually a nice guy? Because I'm sick and tired of hearing how "people are such great guys" but they turn out to be self-centered twats who don't actually do anything BUT talk about how great they are. Maybe if you weren't such a self centered douche rag it would be different.
nice theory but way off.
Be gracious to everyone, make others feel important/valued and light up the room you walk into. But don't be a pushover. Testosterone does not equate to being a nice-guy-pushover. I'm a gentleman and treat others with compassionate. But if anyone does anything to my girl I'll destroy that mother fucker.
It's like the new-age gentleman.
same here, but i always hid my personna, cause i thought i was going to be to aggresive, i changed it and now look. Id never taken that sweater only for a "normal" girl not for one I've been flirting with. Cause as much as theyll hate you for not doing it, its what keeps the teasing going on. you're egging her, but she likes it on this playful way. Ofcourse there's limitations to the "bad boy" lifestyle aswel, its contras..
Bro women are pathological liars. Anything they say is mostly twisted and obscured. You have to learn how to deal with these creatures. I love women a lot and I'm not saying this in an insulting manner towards women I mean it from my observations. Example: at the gym women always stare at me from a far but when they walk by start to jitter and get nervous flicking their hair as if they don't want attention or something. But then they will go to furthest corner in the room and stare again. They're unpredictable as can be. One minute they like you the next minute they don't. Don't worry bro every guy deals with this. Women are beautiful and are necessary even if their logic is twisted and actions make no sense