Outgoing boyfriend is quiet only around me... what should I do?

He is so talkative around his friends, people on the street even... but around me he is soooo quiet. It always gets so awkward when we're out to eat or driving in his car... he isn't talkative and funny with me like he is when he's with anyone else.

I've heard people say things about other guys who act quiet and shy around you that it's because they really really like you... but I don't know if I should assume that's the case with me. I can be quiet like that too which is why it's so awkward... we have literally nothing to say at times.

We've been together for a month. He was the one who asked me out, and he is extremely sweet and kind to me, and I really like him, it's just unnerving to me that he is so quiet only when he's alone with me.

What should I do? Nothing? Ask him if there's something I've done wrong, something bothering him, etc? Your advice is appreciated.


Most Helpful Guy

  • this sounds a lot like me. I know what he is feeling and it honestly made me loose out on a chance with a girl. every time he sees you his stomach flutters, his mind races and he has one thought that starts nagging at him. "don't f*ck up, don't f*ck up." he probably has his mind too fixated on what he shouldn't say that he forgets that he should be saying something at all. even though your mere presence is enough to make him happy, he probably doesn't notice that you and the relationship needs more. or if he does notice, he may not know what to say. I had that problem with a girl I liked and when I finally asked her out, I got rejected because even though I was a good friend and she liked me for it, she didn't think the relationship would go anywhere. so my advise, try breaking the silence with a story about how you goofed up, or make a mistake (not a big one mind you) and laugh it off out loud with him. all he needs is to realize is that it is ok for him to try something with you make a mistake. some guys are more conscientious than we are made out to be.


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What Guys Said 3

  • Well, it is obvious that he thinks you are too good for him, and that makes him weak with or without your presence. What I think you have to do is to start talking to him about his positives, tell him how good he is, how attractive he is, tell him you are so happy with him. Make him more confident, that is your role here.
    Just boost his confidence because most guys are intimidated by pretty girls.
    Good luck and hope I helped. :)

  • I used to be like that. The guy loves you. He's intimidate by your beauty & brain power, feels inferior, looses self confidence. Maybe arange a date that somehow incorporates the thing he love. For example if he loves to watch football or like rock go to a game/ concert with him, pretend you don't know anything about the sport/ band even if you are an expert in the field. Ask him questions about it. This should boost guys confidence IMHO.

  • It is because he likes you. This is also one reason why girls go for assholes that don't care about them. The guys that do care about them get so nervous they come off boring. Yon need to help him learn to be more comfortable around you if you want him to open up.


What Girls Said 1

  • Here's what i'd do:
    -I'd open up a topic for discussion each time you see him. It could be really anything and maybe something controversial. I'd ask him what he thinks about it. While he is talking, keep asking questions and clarifications and make up "what if" discussions. Once he starts going, keep encouraging him and tell him that you like this type of conversations with him.

    He really likes you a lot and is afraid to say something stupid. So, you have to be the one to make him feel comfortable first. In time, he will feel more comfortable around you.

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