Looking for honesty from girls: Why don't any cute girls from Tinder ever match me?

[justaregularguyy]

I'm really not sure what to make of this. I tried Tinder since I've never had any luck in real life. I'm 22 and never had a date or girl show interest back but it's weird cause unlike my friends, I can't get a match. I swipe a lot of girls and am not super picky. I actually have several pics. The main pic is the same for this site but I have another pic outside at the beach showing my body and just a regular smiling selfie. I don't think my pictures are bad or poor quality so I don't get it. Do girls just want super hot and handsome guys on there? I don't think I'm ugly but I'm questioning my attractiveness if I can't even get one match with a girl I find cute. What are your thoughts?

[ASOIAF]

I won't sugar coat it, you aren't good enough looking to match decent women on tinder. A decent looking girl will be matched by almost every guy, so even if she only matches back 5%, she'll have loads of matches. Its not a matter of being okay or normal looking, you need to be in the top 20% of guys on there to have any success.

A similar, although less extreme situation appears on other dating sites and in bars/nightclubs. This is why average, below average and ugly guys should stick to meeting women through social groups if they want a decent looking partner, unless they can become better looking.. The reality is there are more men actively looking to meet someone than there are women doing the same, so its very competitive between the men.

[justaregularguyy]

Thanks for the honesty. Why am I not good looking enough for an attractive girl? I would just like to know why I'm too ugly for them

[ASOIAF]

You aren't too ugly, I don't think many girls would think of you as ugly, you are too average.

[justaregularguyy]

Why am I only average though? Average might as well be ugly. Why can't I look nice? Is it my nose that looks bad?

[ASOIAF]

You are correct, on tinder average might as well be ugly for a guy, particularly one looking for decent looking women, that was what I was getting at in my initial answer.

[justaregularguyy]

Okay so why am I average at best? What keeps me from looking good? Please just tell me.

[Khakishro]

Wow ASOIAF. I used to have tinder and similar apps as well but it was difficult for me. Your logic has convinced me to never use those apps again. I felt like what you said might be true, only dudes with abs and riches will get anywhere on it... ugh now im getting depressed

[Tdawg223]

@Khakishro true. That’s why I stopped using dating apps. I feel like they are ruled by women. The hard thing about the dating apps, is that people may look great in person, but may not be very photogenic, or may have an amazing personality, and be so called “average”, but not get any matches, because it is the picture that is what counts most. It’s sucks!

[Nomad93]

They are probably expecting a lot or you just don't measure up to the other guys on there. It's odd that you had no matches at all though. I am in the same situation I have been thinking about signing up for tinder myself put a nice dong shot on there that oughta get me some attention I deserve haha

[justaregularguyy]

Lol girls don't just go for the dick man. I've got a plenty nice dick but like a girl just said, I don't look fuckable for whatever reason. :/

[Nomad93]

@justaregularguyy its basically an app for sluts man what do you expect they want. The D is one if not the top priority. Maybe its a geographic problem widen the search parameters if you can. Same shit happens to me only like 16 year old girls and married women show interest in me maybe I should bang them anyway

[Anonymous]

Honestly, looking at your picture on here you look cute, but socially awkward. I don't use Tinder, but if I did I probably wouldn't really bother taking my chances with you.

Like I said I don't use Tinder so I don't know how many other better looking guys are on there or what the proportions are for ugly, average, good looking, and hot guys are. If there are a lot of hot-good looking guys on there then I'd take my chances with the next swipe. It's a gamble so I take it girls are betting they'll find better. This doesn't mean that they will though.

[justaregularguyy]

So basically I'm not attractive at all? I have no sex appeal? Why wouldn't you give me a chance? What keeps me from being hot enough to be considered? I'm so depressed about this I'm always alone and I just want an answer to why I'm not good enough...

[Opinion Owner]

It's not that you're not attractive at all, but judging from your pictures ONLY you look socially awkward. I've read your posts on here and you obviously aren't, but you look it.
Maybe you should use a site where you can use your wits and personality to your advantage like OkCupid or something like that. I think you'll do better on those

[justaregularguyy]

I've had no luck on okcupid either. I've been on it for a year now. Honestly, I'm considering killing myself. I know it sounds awful but I'm not seeing anything to be hopeful about. It's like I'm some involuntarily celibate freak that nobody wants. Nothing's gonna change if I'm simply not good enough. Personality obviously doesn't matter if my looks are keeping me from attracting.

[Opinion Owner]

If you kill yourself you're going to end up dying a virgin. If you stay alive you have a chance I mean it's not like you're 40 you have time.
Honestly, I think you might just need to stop worrying about it so much. All the times that I've gone out and looked for dates I haven't been able to find them at all. The best gifts are those which are unexpected.

Maybe you should concentrate on finding friends (both male and female) now and let the dating prospects come to YOU. I met my current boyfriend when I went to a friend's house to hang out one night. He was a friend of a friend. I met my last boyfriend while working (he just asked me out), boyfriend before that I met while volunteering. Maybe you'll be the same way.

I have NEVER met a guy while looking for one. Some people are just unlucky like that

[justaregularguyy]

Girls don't bother taking their chances with me, just like you said you wouldn't for me, because I'm not up to their standards and they think thy can do way better, just like you would..

I've tried that route my whole life and it's never done anything for me. I already have a lot of friends.

[Opinion Owner]

Your one and only fault is that you look kinda awkward. If you prove to girls that you aren't awkward.. like you just proved to me then you'll be fine.
I think you're thinking you're hella ugly. You're not. You just look like you'd want to talk about weird stuff. Do you have FEMALE friends? Just talk to them and hang out with them prove to them you aren't awkward. Ask them if they have any friends they could hook you up with

[Izzy2102]

Well you're not ugly for sure,
I've never used tinder, but what do you write in your profile? Maybe that's it

From what I know tinder matches you up with people who have liked similar things on facebook, maybe the girls who like similar things have a certain type? So look into that
Can you see who liked you, or can you only see it if you both liked each other. Maybe you're more picky than you think

[justaregularguyy]

You can only see if you both like each other. I'm not picky I just don't like obese or truly ugly girls. I find many girls cute and don't have a specific preference.

[Izzy2102]

You keep saying that but as I said, I don't think you're ugly, I'd date you based on looks,

but maybe you do need to reevaluate your standards? Just be open to other people.

[justaregularguyy]

Thanks. But my standards aren't extremely high! I just need at least a small bit of attraction. That's all!

[Izzy2102]

Well I can't test if that is true or not, just saying

[DivaMonae]

Honestly, I have no clue. If I had a tender and were two years older I'd swipe for you.

But maybe your standards are too high, idk. Both people have to match up and it's not like you aren't attractive so I'm sure some girls have accepted you, but you probably declined them.

Just wait a little longer and I'm sure you'll find a match =)

[lumos]

Probs because they don't think you're cute. Tinder is a very shallow app tho, so I wouldn't take it too seriously. Tinder isn't even a dating app, it's more like an ego boost app for good looking people. Potentially also a one night stand app. It's trash.

[justaregularguyy]

So I'm not a good looking person? :(

[lumos]

According to them, probably not. Not everyone is going to think that you look good.

[justaregularguyy]

Okay but what do you think? I'm not getting any hopeful replies either. And of course I don't expect that everyone like me. But it's clear that hardly any girl out there likes me and it makes me feel like I'm some ugly freak..

[lumos]

You look normal. Don't seek validation from the internet or from useless apps like tinder. You're being overly dramatic.

[justaregularguyy]

Is normal attractive enough for a cute girl though? I feel like a girl wants a guy that looks at least a little good

[lumos]

As I already kind of said, beauty is subjective. Someone might think you're hot. Someone else might think you're fugly. All you gotta do is find that girl who thinks you're hot. Problem solved. Stop pitying yourself. It's really unattractive.

[justaregularguyy]

But how come I never see that girls find me hot? Everyone is saying I'm not good enough for them and another girl just said I look gay so of course I'm going I feel bad. I don't want to appeal to everyone but it seriously feels like I don't appeal to anyone from what I'm seeing except gay men, underage girls , or obese girls.

[lumos]

You've only met an incredibly small fraction of the female population. Acting as if no decent looking girl would ever find you hot is irrational. Maybe stop going for the shallow girls? Just a thought.

[justaregularguyy]

I'm not trying to go after shallow girls, it just seems like so many of them are at least on here

[lumos]

Then don't go for girls who are on here, lmao.

[justaregularguyy]

Well I feel like all girls care about looks. I do to even think it's shallow to not want a guy you're not attracted to. I just want to be attractive. That's all :(

[lumos]

Everyone cares about looks to some extent.

[justaregularguyy]

Exactly, which is why I'm asking why mine don't cut it.

[lumos]

Don't base your self worth on freaking tinder. Jesus christ.

[justaregularguyy]

It's not just Tinder. It's an online rating board, it's what the girls have said here, saying I'm average at the very best, and it's my utter lack of success in real life and constant rejection. There's plenty of reason to feel like I so and I want to believe I'm good enough but constantly being told otherwise is the most discouraging thing ever. I wish my image problem was just in my head but I'm seeing it's not

[Macrick]

I can attest to that, I had a Kiwi housemate (24 years old). He met a Hongkonger (Chinese) girl aged 19. They slept together on the 1st night. This guy till date slept with 40+ females. I hope they don't pass STD to either party. LoL! Pretty sure, he didn't use a condom. (U can me having a case of sour grapes. But wtf is wrong with you young ppl? Fucking don't know each other well and do crouch grinding on 1st meeting? tsk tsk tsk.)

[lumos]

It's. Fucking. Tinder. It's literally the most useless app in the history of useless apps where hot people only stroke other hot people's egos. Get over it, seriously. If anything, it's your godawful whiny and insecure personality that makes girls not want to date you.

[Khakishro]

I suggest what the other guys suggest, although I have yet to work the courage myself, approach girls in real life. The mall is the best place. Look up the term "daygame" on youtube. You will find loads of videos of guys approaching women in public being recorded. Look up people like Johnny Berba, Coach Corey Wayne, Dan Bacon, Tom Torero... these men have great advice.

[justaregularguyy]

I have tried approaching many girls in real life and it's clear they aren't interested at all. This isn't just Tinder, man.

[Khakishro]

Refine your technique by studying, reading, and watching these videos. Get a haircut, buy some new clothes, shoes especially, girls look at that often. These are all things I have done. I buy dress shirts, suites, shoes and ties from the Goodwill store. Enhancing your cleanliness and style will effect your success... but only if you have confidence as well, because in the end, that is what it is all about.

I'll be honest I think you might be better looking than I am.

[ThatAsianFellow]

You could find not via Internet and not dating sites. That's what I'd recommend. I used to be an introvert but now, i don't shut up and it wasn't too hard afterwards for me to find a girl I was interested in.

Get out there and make friends and eventually you might find someone within that group.

I'm that kind of guy who makes as many friends as possible and from that, I have many different groups of people I hangout with. Which eventually, I found my girl out of these people :)

[justaregularguyy]

I have a lot of friends and I'm very social. No girl in real life ever reciprocates interest in me.

[ThatAsianFellow]

You never know unless you make it known you like her.

That's what I would do when I felt something click with the girl and being able to read a girl based off her reaction.

Worked a lot of the time for me... but I had advantages because I'm a hairstylist and also a bartender which are my qualities for being a bit more attractive

[Anonymous]

Finders a load of shite, I joined that when I was on holiday because apparently it was the shit. It honestly is the shallowest app, it's fu t bough some guys are super fit I was shocked to see them on there I would only swipe guys who where like uber fit, basically meaning most people on tinder are shallow and are only not here for banter or being shallow. I wouldn't take it to heart

[justaregularguyy]

And why wouldn't girls in real life be the same though? Doesn't everyone want somebody they are attracted to? Does my face have potential at least if I worked out or would it be a butterface?

[Opinion Owner]

Every person is shallow to an extent, even if they say there not they chat crap lol.

[justaregularguyy]

Thai doesn't answer my question. I know that. So why am I not good enough?

[Opinion Owner]

That's a bit of a stupid question. That's like me saying oh why don't guys like me. From a picture you can't tell an awful lot about a person maybe your just not sexy in pictures take some vein pictures and see of you get a better result

[justaregularguyy]

What makes you say I don't have sex appeal in my picture? What's wrong with my face that you would say that?

[Opinion Owner]

Sex appeal, to me is either an extremely handsome guy who is well groomed or a guy who's very confidant takes topless photos. Sex appeal to me is shallowness lol

[justaregularguyy]

And what about my face is keeping me from being handsome?

[Opinion Owner]

For me its the hair also I prefer tan skinned guys on a guy ( white ) if he's European - Middle Eastern I prefer the darker skin again however I like some of the fairer completion guys from the Middle East are handsome to. And if he's black I prefer a fair completion, to a mixed race completion. So from your picture you look a bit on the pale side for me but some girls might love that. But facial features are fine you just need to just clean up the bar maybe grow some facial hair to see if that suits you I don't know your nt ugly just need a bit of tweaking

[ScruffyNerfHerder]

You're a bit obsessed with Tinder, you've had multiple questions on it. Hmm. I'm going to copy/paste a link to one of your other questions, read the answer I gave you on that one:

www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1187776-i-have-seriously-swiped-hundreds-of-girls-on-tinder-why-am-i-unable

[ScruffyNerfHerder]

Also, read my advice in this thread, as well as what @longblackveil wrote, he was giving really good advice too:
www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1197293-if-a-man-is-generally-friendly-polite-humorous-by-nature-do-women

[meatballs21]

I think you need to stop posting a question like this every few days. This is at least your sixth Tinder whine in the last month, you've been given lots of advice and feedback already, what are you doing about that?

[justaregularguyy]

I am so frustrated I just have so much trouble understanding why I'm not good enough for girls I like..

[meatballs21]

I get frustrated too when I'm not having any luck. You need to be positive, and interesting, someone that people will want to meet and spend time with. Don't let the negativity show or you kill your chances immediately.

[pattramai]

Well some girls just have a lot of their preference in a guy. it's hard to find a real genuine person online tho

[justaregularguyy]

My friends get several matches a week. Am I just not what girls want?

[pattramai]

I mean the answer is for you too I mean you can't set a bar too high... and chill out, I get like non on tinder and that suck a lot. How bout you try like OkCupid? I heard its good?

[justaregularguyy]

I don't think I set the bar too high. I find a lot of girls cute. Are they just out of my league? And I am on okcupid as well and no results for there either.

[pattramai]

Well I think you're cute personally and you look nice so I don't know tho

[JACCornell]

People can be quite wary on tindr, but you say no 'cute girls' so it depends on your standards a bit aswell

[justaregularguyy]

Okay, so cute is out of my league then? I'm too ugly for a girl I'm even a little bit attracted to? I don't only swipe models..

[JACCornell]

Thats obviously not what I meant, I don't think cute is out of your league at all, I don't really know why they wouldn't pick you, so I was giving a suggestion :')

[justaregularguyy]

Yeah I don't get why they don't pick me either. I'm just really confused and frustrated.

[JACCornell]

Well if it's any reassurance I would pick you, but whether or not thats reassuring or not I don't know

[justaregularguyy]

It is cause you're cute but you're a bit young but thanks!

[JACCornell]

Glad to help!

[Longblackveil]

You'll have more luck approaching women in real life.

[justaregularguyy]

I have no luck with that either. Why can't I get luck on tinder?

[Longblackveil]

I can tell your a better looking guy than I am

So it doesn't have anything to do with your looks. Beyond that I can't tell you much because I don't know you or what your doing

I have my doubts as to whether your actually approaching girls and getting rejected.

But maybe you are and your just doing it wrong. The thing about approaching girls in real life, is if your constantly getting rejected, you can make changes and doc your problems.

With tindr, you have a picture and that's it. Most girls on tindr are looking for hookups and they don't care about your personality, they're looking for perfect hot guys. Average and below average guys like you and me dont do well with that kind of system

[Anonymous]

I'd date you! :) I like the look of you, your not ugly or anything trust me! I think your kinda cute actually, I don't know why the other girls don't like you! You sound like a nice guy.

[justaregularguyy]

Thanks. I think I'm nice. I try to be positive really but most mid the girls here just made me feel so much worse about this. I don't know either because I used to think I looked good

[Opinion Owner]

I think you look fine. You should be positive! Don't let the other girls get you down, I'm kind of in the same boat as you tbh. Guys don't go near me. :( However I try to think about other things in my life and focus on them and it makes me happier. Do what you love. Ignore people who are trying to bring you down! :)

[greycadillacs]

Frame yourself as the most interesting and fun man to be around ever. Start with your username: "Justaregularguyy"

[justaregularguyy]

Being interesting won't even matter if I completely lack sex appeal. I'm already interesting!

[greycadillacs]

Interesting=sex appeal. If you think it's your outer image, work on your outer image as much as you can.

[Rcjh1987]

Never used tinder but do you have what you like to do etc on there

[Zango91]

No it sucks. It just syncs some info and a photo from Facebook. That's all.

[Rcjh1987]

@Zango91 so all you have is a picture to go off of

[Zango91]

Yes. A picture.

[Rcjh1987]

@Zango91 that's stupid

[Zango91]

Not for the millions using it. 😜😜😜

[Rcjh1987]

@Zango91 it's based off superficial stuff

[Zango91]

Ha ha. Obviously people don't have time for deep stuff. 😜

[Blondebrunette]

I actually think you are cute, judging by your picture.. but you scare me by being so focussed on a succes with girls and datingsiteshit.. if you're that focussed too when you are around a girl you'll scare her away too probably.

[Kshppatel]

Tinder is a very superficial app and I suggest someone of your level of confidence to stay away from it.

[Anonymous]

You don't look like you would be wild in bed. One night stand app.

[justaregularguyy]

:(

Why do you say that? I've never even had sex. Should I just give up? I'm so depressed that nobody wants me

[Opinion Owner]

It's a hook up app... if you don't look like you're down to fuck, it's beat not to be on there. Sorry dude, it's just how the superficial world is.

[justaregularguyy]

Why don't I look fuckable though? Why doesn't any girl think that?

[Opinion Owner]

Wide eyed and bushy tailed comes to mind

[justaregularguyy]

What so you mean by bushy tailed?

Wide eyed like my eyes are too far apart?

[Opinion Owner]

You either look it or you don't and you don't look dirty. Take it as you may.

[justaregularguyy]

Well I'm probably going to kill myself if I am utterly unfuckable no matter what I do. Thanks for making me feel so much worse :/

[Opinion Owner]

You need to not be so fucking stupid. I said you don't look dirty. Meaning you don't look like a sleazy bag. You want a nice pretty girl go to a fucking church and stop being pitiful.

[justaregularguyy]

You said I'm not fuckable though. If I don't look dirty, then why would you say I look like a guy that would be bad in bed? I really don't get that comment at all. Also, I'm not religious and therefore don't go to church. I'm not sleazy so I would think that's a desirable thing if anything

[Opinion Owner]

Hun, I don't think the problem is that you're ugly... it might just be that you're dimwitted. It's okay, it happens.

[justaregularguyy]

I'm not, though. I'm at least confident about my intelligence.

[Opinion Owner]

Tbh, I'm not reading your last reply. I have no time for dimwits and their suicide threats. Feel free to call the suicide hotline. [phone]-TALK

[justaregularguyy]

Implying that will make me feel any better.

[Opinion Owner]

I'm seriously, not reading any of the comments left, so whatever you or anyone else says it doesn't matter.

[Anonymous]

Hehe the moment I saw the this ''Why don't any cute girls from Tinder ever match me''.. I knew it was you asking.

[citroen]

How long have u been usong tinder?

[justaregularguyy]

6 months

[citroen]

Its not doing your confidence or self esteem any good being on tinder, by the time you meet someone nice, your confidence will be shattered , id take yourself from it, enjoy your life and as you are getting on with life, someone unexpected when you least expect it, will come into your life

[justaregularguyy]

Yeah, I'm too ugly to get girls to like me on there, and of course real life girls ignore me as well.

[GoldCobra]

I have the same problem

[justaregularguyy]

Maybe we are just ugly then :(