Who comes first fiance or family of origin?

[Anonymous]

In your opinion who comes first a fiance or your family of orifin and why? I would say a fiance because you have already determined that you are going to marry that person so I think you should start prioritizing their needs and wants first. That doesn't mean that if your family needs you they never come first but I just believe that in general your fiance comes first?

[FallenAngel92]

Blood is thicker than water. At this point you are water, remember if you push too hard you will lose him. Why are you making a big deal over a dang cake? You just want to be right and be told what you want to hear. Family is family for life, remember that, before you demand your fiance before his family, before y'all have even said "I Do". If his family hates you changes are he will never marry you, if he does y'all will be divorced within 2 years.

[FallenAngel92]

* before you demand your fiance to put you before his family

[Asker]

Woah woah calm down. It wasn't like I said he can't celebrate with his family I am willing to have them over. In my mind his mom is the one that is making a big deal over a cake he is 28 does she expect to make the cake forever. No the person you are spending the rest of your life with it hardly water I would consider them family. That saying is bull anyways some people aren't close to their blood. Just because you share blood doesn't mean they should automatically come first. When they say water they are hardly referring to a fiancé they are referring to strangers. I never said his family hated me that is hardly the case. People that like each other can still have disagreements. I never demanded anything he was the one who did all the talking.

[Asker]

Oops sorry wrong post but still my point still stands. You figure you spend the most free time with your fiancé. Who do you make all the decisions with on your future your house this and that? Not your family of origin. I never said his family can't ever come first just that generally your priorities tend to shift and the person you are spending the rest of your life with will take priority. His family likes me doesn't hate me but most families are happy when they realize their son/daughter found someone that they like enough to spend the rest of their life with.

[FallenAngel92]

Honey don't be naive, you're not married yet. And you need to learn to respect you future mother-in-law and don't make it a competition. You fiance is the man he is because of his mother, she raised him to be that way, so if he's a good man, thank her for it. They way a man treats his mother is the way he will treat his wife. All I'm saying is don't put him in the position to have to choose between his mother and you. Like I said on your other question compromise is key. It's not about who's right or wrong or who's overreacting, it's about y'all becoming a family, and that includes his mother also. His mother will always be his mother, but you on the other hand you are a choice, don't make it easier for him to change his mind. Be the bigger person and you will have nothing to regret.

[Briseide]

What about when his parents are asking him for money as a help and then they go 2 weeks on a holiday outside the country. but he can't see his parents are free loaders ( that is only one example from the many others when they take his money without being in need for) and he still choses them over you?

[Anonymous]

To me, I make them all sit down in a room and deal with the issue. Like they at least need to be civil, at least for my sake because they all love me right? So whoever can't just be civil can go. They don't have to love each other or be BFFs but adults need to learn to be civil around people they don't like, if they can't they aren't right in the head.

[Briseide]

I have just posted the same dilemma. loool
I obviously agree with you ☺

[ChallengerBanks]

Fiance.

This is the person that you are going to spend you life with and create a new family with.

That doesn't mean that the rest of your family becomes less important but you have to prioritise your own castle. If you don't prioritise your partner, then you aren't ready to be married.

[Asker]

Oh yeah no I definitely agree that you don't forget about your family but that once you are starting a life with your fiance you are going to generally consult them first when it comes to making decisions.

[BertMacklinFBI]

I'd say its an even split until you get married, then its spouse.

[Asker]

In what ways should he make it an even split? I just need examples to go off of I'm not arguing with u

[BertMacklinFBI]

its cool im not worried about people arguing, but anyways hmm.. even split would be like both parties taken into consideration and reaching a compromise, making both happy. if both cannot be satisfied then its dealer's choice.

[Your_boss960]

I beleive family comes first. Because what happens when the finance leaves and cheats like the man he is? You go back to your family.

[Asker]

I don't know my dad has a blood brother he will never speak to again. So family doesn't always mean thry will always be there for u either

[FallenAngel92]

Amen, your family always picks up the pieces.

[Asker]

Read what I wrote that isn't always the case maybe for you yes. But there are friends too and not everyone is close to their family despite what u may believe in your ideal world. My dad has a blood brother he will never speak to agaim

[Cowboy6666]

Whoever is childish , obstinate, n easy to annoy should be taken into care first..

[KBob93]

Not until he's your husband.

[Asker]

In what ways does your family come before a fiancé thst they wouldn't when he is your husband? I haven't gotten any examples yet and I'm waiting.

[Anonymous]

Me. I always come first, then my family.

[Asker]

I am assuming when you say family you j Claude your fiance in that.

[Asker]

Include

[Opinion Owner]

Family of origin, I meant.

[Asker]

Why would you say that I could understsnd if ylh were just bf/gf but your fiance is the one you are making the decision to marry. You probably choose to spend most of your free time with them. You ate going to live with them and wake up to them everyday how will you start a life with them if you put them second best.

[Asker]

You*

[Opinion Owner]

My marriage was arranged. I had no opinion, nor did my husband, in choosing who we wanted to marry.

[Anonymous]

you aren't married yet though!

[Asker]

What about people who never marry and they been together years and years or people who live together then what they should never come before family. What if you spend like 80% of your time with your fiance it doesn't make sense to me to put someone first that u don't spend most of your free time with

[Opinion Owner]

I'm just kidding.. if I asked you to marry me than you better be top priority

[Asker]

Wait what

[TheSophiePie]

Family of origin

[Asker]

Why?