Who comes first fiance or siblings?

[Anonymous]

Help! I have been engaged to my fiance for half a year by now and i dont know what to do. my family is having a party in 2 weeks and my fiance is not invited due to some past incidents between him and my siblings. things were said that were not acceptable and conditions where made and expected to have been met by now. my fiance has completed half of the conditions but one thing could not be met due to recent health issues and personal issues. so now I am at this stand still of do i go to the party without him to make my family happy but my relationship suffers or do i not go and risk my family relationship suffering. i personally HATE confrontation and making people upset. this is not the first time my fiance was not included in something that involved my siblings and i feel the past should be the past especially when the entire family is getting together for a party. what should i do?

go to the party without fiance

not go to the party

[PrettyPriya]

You cannot pass up your family because of mistakes he made in the past. I get why you are torn, but he did it to himself. At least, that is how you make this sound. I would ask yourself why do my siblings have to suffer and miss out on me at the party because of what my fiancé did?

Now, he SHOULD be a very important part of your life. THE most important. While your siblings will go their own way too, he will always be with you.

That said, he needs to get his act together it sounds like. Whatever he did to cause this rift and to the point their are conditions to be met is not a good start. I am wondering if you can provide some more context about that part.

That might change my opinion a bit. Not likely but it could. I would still stick by going to the party. He got himself into this mess, he has to deal with the consequences.

[Prettygurl12]

I'd seriously consider what staying in this relationship means for your future. Which side is toxic? Your family or him? I think stipulations are a bad sign when it comes to relationships.

The Bible says that a man and a woman shall leave their fathers and mothers and cleave unto each other and the two shall become one flesh.

To me, that means that your spouse takes priority over your parents/siblings. Up to you whether the fiance meets this standard yet.

[Guy13]

Even though my heart would be leaning towards my fiance... especially because we are to leave family and cleave to spouse... You are not married and there are terms to be followed. If you were married it would be simple for me. It seems like both fiance and family need to give and get over this hurdle. Does he not realize how important people who have been in your life from the beginning are? Have you had that conversation?

[20yearsolder]

How will your relationship suffer? He understands that he had to complete certain tasks to be allowed back into your family functions. He has not fulfilled those requirements. He should not expect you to pass up a family events because he didn't do what was expected of him. Go to the party and if he has a problem with that then maybe you should reconsider your engagement

[Anonymous]

It depends on what was said. Like why did it even come to a situation like this where your family doesn’t want anything to do w him? Did he cheat on you or something? Abused you? There’s a lot of factors. If some dude mistreated my sister you’re damn right I would t want him around cause I’d probably kick his ass. Your question lacks a lot of details in what really happened and why things are like this. There’s more to it as far as why he has to complete certain things.

[dragoblack]

Talk with your fiance to find a compromise, go to the party for a bit and comeback home to spend the rest of the day with him. Him and your family may not agree, but it doesn't mean you should be kept from them. Finding a compromise for difficult situations is part of the relationship.

[spartan55]

So do you have a ring and a wedding date? If you don't, you aren't engaged. So you are supposedly going to marry a guy your family dislikes to the point he isn't invited to a party your family hosts? Wow... that will never work.

[FilmGuy93]

Who was in the wrong when the original conflicts happened? Because if your family was in the wrong, you have to stick with your fiancé and vice versa, if your fiancé was in the wrong.

[exitseven]

I would not go to the party but I would expect to get some that night.

[Heolurt]

Neither, my siblings and I don't talk at all and I won't ever get a fiance.

[Avicenna]

Be supportive of your fiancee

[Googlemyahoo]

Option C - Paragraphs

[Anonymous]

Ditch him and go to the party