A girl I like won't go out with me because she's nervous about it. How can I comfort her?

I've tried almost everything. I've asked it as a favour, I've told her it'd be a nice way of overcoming anxiety and I assured her it'd simply be a casual walk between friends. Her response is always "I'd love to, but I just can't". Apparently she has gone out with other friends of hers and she always ended up freaking out. She just can't stand going out alone with someone.

I'm open to suggestions. I MUST find a way to comfort her.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I was actually like this in high school. Relationships just terrified me and gave me really bad anxiety. I still liked guys, it's just when things got too real for me, I would freak out. I hurt some guys doing this, and I feel bad, especially because there was one guy that I had serious feelings for. I was completely in love with him, and I tried so hard to date him, but I would be sick with anxiety 24/7 and I have no clue why. I had to dump him, and I still feel terrible about it, because he hates me now. He seems to have it in his head that I just played with his feelings and hurt him on purpose. He didn't understand when I told him what I was going through and he won't talk to me anymore.
    It wasn't until after college that I stopped feeling this way about relationships. I have a boyfriend now, and we've been dating for about a year, but I still wonder what my relationship with that other guy would have turned out like, and sometimes I wish I could get a second chance at it. I'm really in love with my current boyfriend though, so I guess I'll never know lol.
    My advice to you is to be patient. You might really like her, but you're also still young. Be single, play the field, enjoy your youth, but stay friends with her. I'm afraid all you can do is be understanding and give her the space that she needs, because the only thing that'll help her get over her anxiety is time. I was 18 when my anxiety went away and I tried to get back in touch with that other guy, but I found out that he'd blocked me lmao. He was super sensitive, but then again, I did hurt him pretty badly. Let her come to you when she's ready but always make sure that she knows you'll be there.

    • Very informative, thanks. However, if I did as you suggested, I feel like I'd miss my chance to boost the relationship between us. You're telling me there is absolutely nothing I can do?

    • All I know is that nothing specifically helped. I don't even know how I get over it. It could be just meeting the right guy or just age, I really don't know. I wish I could be more help, but I never did anything about my anxiety and no one ever helped me try to get over it, I just did.

    • Thanks anyway

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What Girls Said 0

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What Guys Said 2

  • maybe suggest going out with a group of people since it sounds like her concern is going out with someone alone

    • She's perfectly fine with it and we've done it before. Thing is I want to have some time alone with her. It's hard to explain.

    • I get it. maybe just ask her what you could do so she felt more comfortable

    • Tried that, she had no idea. I need to find a way to make her forget she's alone, make her feel comfortable. I realise this is a really hard question so don't worry about it.

  • Perhaps it could be a nice way of letting u down 😙

    • Trust me, that's not the case. She's willing to, but she's too scared about it. She sounded rather interested when we talked about it.

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