First Kiss at 19?

I am 19 and I never kissed a girl before. Honestly I feel embarrassing that I never kissed before. When it comes to dating and when my date is over and it comes to make a move. I don't have enough courage to kiss.

I have a friend who is 18. She is my high school friend (I would say buddy). We know each other for 4 years. She was my first crash but we never end up dating. Shy? yes :)

Now in college we met once again and I am about to ask her out.

However, I am scared because of the above reason.

Now I would honestly kiss any girl but her. Maybe because I am in love? maybe...

I don't know what to say or to ask just wrote my problem.

What Will you say if a guy 19 year old who doesn't know how to kiss will kiss you?
When is the best to make a move and kiss? 1st/2nd/3rd date?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I feel your pain. Luckily I've managed to discover the secret to "being shy" as well as the secret to "the first kiss."


    Shyness is actually an artifact of your ego trying to defend it's self against possible criticism or the disapproval of others. Sounds strange doesn't it?

    Unfortunately the ego will do many things to protect it's self, including stopping you from living a healthy positive life! Why people don't speak up, or speak their mind, because ultimately they fear that they'll be discovered as weak or inferior - all the while secretly hoping to BE superior.

    I learned this from Eckhart Tolle - Here's what he says: link

    But when you learn to base your self-esteem upon your own voice, and not the opinions of others, you'll learn that your ego will starve and fade, and your self-esteem will sky rocket. For more info on this process read anything by Don Ruiz: link

    In any case, forget your ego, and start testing your insecurities... I would suggest you start learning to socialize with everyone you meet. Talk to the old guy behind you in the grocery line, or the super hot waitress who takes your order. Learn to flirt.

    Talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk. This is how you will quickly learn that nothing bad will ever happen to you even when others don't agree with what you have to say. This is HUGE when it comes to meeting and attracting women.


    - Realize that all women, even if they're not interested in you, WANT you to at least try. I've heard this time and time again from many women (I've dated hundreds, so I speak from experience.) She wants to at least feel she's worthy of your attempt. So just do it.

    - Realize that even if she gives you her cheek, that doesn't mean anything bad. It simply means "not yet." You DON'T start back at square one, so nothing is lost. This will never cause her to not call you again. If she doesn't call you again it's because she already wasn't going to - not because you tried to kiss her.

    - Help her get used to your touch. Help her out of the car by the hand, help her cross a busy restaurant by the hand, or even give her a sensual fake palm reading - touch, touch, touch. Don't grope, keep it clean. Maybe whisper a secret in her ear, softly. It'll give her goose bumps.

    Finally, don't wait till the end of the date to kiss her - do it Mid-Date. When you kiss her, perhaps right after she's made you laugh, you'll both feel better. The tension will be gone, and the rest of the date will be WAY smoother.

    I hope this helps,

    ~ Robby

    My Blog: link


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • You shouldn't feel embarrassed. You would be surprised at how many people are in the same situation as you.

    Just ask this girl out. If she says no, try asking other women out. You don't have to marry them! Just try to go on dates to get to know girls. The more you are around them, the more comfortable you will feel around them.

    If this girl does accept your invitation to go out, don't worry about the kissing part. First kisses with new dates are often awkward. Just relax, be gentle and slow until you have more experience, keep your mouth as dry as possible (no saliva), and you'll be fine. Don't feel like you are responsible for the kiss. The other person is too.

    If you feel shy about not having kissed before, you don't have to tell her.

    • Thank you for your reply.

      When would be best to make a move and kiss? 1st/2nd/3rd date?

      I am just to shy about not kissing before.

    • Don't try to come up with a time frame for kissing her. Wait and see how things go. If the first date goes well and she seems to be enjoying your company, then tell her that you have really enjoyed being with her and ask if you can kiss her. But only do this if you feel relaxed. If you do not feel relaxed and sound confident, wait until a later date.

What Guys Said 1

  • You know what dude,

    even I am 19 and I don't even think about kissing that seems a bit too far fetched for me. As I know opportunities are absolutely negligible for me, but yeah that's nothing to feel ashamed about. In fact you are lucky that you are in love -People say its a beautiful feeling (I can't help you here :P),dont ruin it just because of the kissing part. Ask her out, if she says yes spend time with her, when you feel comfortable with her, make your move. Once you are comfortable with her I am sure she wouldn't even know about your secret. Kissing is about feeling each other and I am sure if two people are in love they can kiss perfectly well, without having any experience. So don't spoil this moment, rush ans ask her out, and be quick, girls are volatile.