Am I expected to offer to help her move?

[Anonymous]

I've been seeing a girl for about a month and a half. We've been intimate, but we're not in a relationship.
She has to move to a new place soon. She hasn't asked for help. Am I expected to offer to help her move? (I'm quite busy at the moment and honestly for me it's a huge favour I've only aggreed to with my family and closest friends in the past). I don't want to be a chump, and I think it'd be a bit too early for that kind of favour.

Yes, I should offer

Yes, only if she asks

No, it's a huge favour and it's too early for this kind of stuff

No (other reasons)

[TheDevilInside]

Moving is a HUGE hassle and stress. It would be a HUGE help to have a strong pair of arms to help you move the stuff.

If I were "dating" a guy and when I told him I had to move and he didn't offer to help, I would think he will never be helpful to me in the future. He doesn't care whether I need help or not, I definitely won't be able to rely on him to help me in hard times.

So, quite a big turn off for me.

If you currently have a lot to do, tell her that you have one hour to help her carry the stuff down because you have tons of stuff to do yourself. You can spare one hour for her, can't you?

If she's already good with friends who can help her, she'll tell you that it's OK if you don't come.

But seriously, it's not a huge deal at all. Friends help each other at moving time all the time. So a guy she's dating should also offer. It's just common courtesy to ask whether she needs an extra pair of hands.

[Asker]

Thanks for your answer, I did finally offer, turned out she didn't need any help :)

[TheDevilInside]

Thanks for MHO!

See? That way you've escaped being a potential egoistic asshole ;)

[Sara413]

She's probably not going to ask you to help her move, because it's so early on and she doesn't want to come off as imposing, but she'll likely feel quite disappointed if you do not offer to help. If you are aware that she is moving, and you don't offer to help out, it's a pretty clear signal that you aren't really into her...

If you like her and you intend to continue seeing her, you should definitely offer to help. It's really not a big thing, and I'm not sure why you view it that way... it's just taking a little bit of your time to help pick things up in one place and put them down in another... I help people move all the time! Friends, family, whatever..

[Asker]

The last time I've helped a friend move, it lasted the whole day and night, and we ended around 6 AM, when it was supposed to last half a day. Thanks for your perspective, I like your answer, it's a good insight on what she might be thinking.

[Alynaresque]

It is a social nicety to offer and she will be disappointed if you don't. So if you are able to help move, why wouldn't you? I mean, if you are dating there are SOME feelings there? If you can't just tell her that you wish that you could help her but you are busy for whatever reason. She'll at least know, then, that you are thinking about her and not just avoiding helping her with moving.

[Jocko]

So you've slept with her already but its too soon to think you should help her move? HAHA
Whats the purpose of your realitonship? are you not in one cause you dont want to be in it or is it a mutual thing? Frankly you should offer its common decency but I know its not a common trait anymore.

[Asker]

Thanks for your answer. Truth is I don't know what she wants and she has said she's not sure what she's feeling. Sadly nowadays (and even before), it seems being too nice can be a bad thing, she's been saying I'm nice (which I can't even tell if it's a compliment or not), and I don't want to drive her away with my "niceness" haha. It seems like something a boyfriend would do but I would not want to seem overeager. But seeing all the answers so far gives me some perspective.

[AustynTyler]

You CAN offer your assistance to help her move. But you DONT have to actually help her.
If your busy, make sure that you tell her and can help only when you can. Setting a pacific day or days to help her move can be a bit easier on both of you.

[sjoes006]

If you don't have time to help her move sounds like you probably don't have time for a relationship?

[Asker]

Good point. Thanks.

[thewanderingme]

you should offer. it wouldn't hurt to take a little time to help her out one day.

[Asker]

Thank you

[thewanderingme]

you're welcome! and you can make it fun too. ;)

[Anonymous]

Right or wrong- you'll be a chump if you don't help. Fact

[Asker]

Thanks.

[AngryHorny]

I'm afraid you have to offer, but there's always a chance she'll say no thanks.

[Asker]

Thanks man, that's what happened

[plumeria9]

Even a friend would offer to help. I 100% expect a guy I'm dating to help. It shows that you're a considerate, dependable person. It saids a lot about you as a potential future partner. Major red flag to me if the guy does not offer at all-- either he's not interested or quite selfish. A situation like this shows your true character.