Why the slowed down texts?

[Anonymous]

OK, I seem to find myself in this situation quite often.

I met a guy and we hit it off really great. The first week, he was texting me everyday, all through the day. In the mornings I'd always get a "good morning" text, and he'd then text me while at work, then later on that night he'd give me a call.

After the first week, the texts pretty much stopped. As far as I could tell, nothing happened to cause it. Every time we talked he kept saying how much we have in common, and how he's looking forward to seeing me. We went on a date, and had an amazing time, He flirted the whole time, and couldn't stop kissing me on the cheek. We also had an amazing first kiss, but he has not called and has only texted like once or twice. This was almost a week ago. I'd say, I've been talking to him for a total of about 2.5 weeks now.

What made him slow down? Do you think it's lack of interest?

Updates

+1 y

Ok, so after 4 days of nothing, I text him with a casual text to see how he was feeling, since he was sick. He calls me right away with "i saw your text, and new I was forgetting something." Meaning he forgot to call me... Yeah, ok! Then...

Updates

+1 y

... he decides to answer my question about dating other people, and he said, he's not weeding anyone out yet, he's keeping his options open.

[rach333]

Hey, sweetie. Ya wanna know why he's slowed down the texts? Its because he's a guy! lol Every man, and I mean every one of them, I've been with has done the same exact thing. I guess what they're thinking is that since you've said yes to a date, they can slow the "chase" down a bit. I mean every guy I've been with would at first bug me to death with billions of texts a day. You know, the good morning (at 6:00 in the morning lol I'm still asleep!) the hey what's up beautiful, sexy, etc. about every hour, then of course the good night hope you sleep well text when you go to bed. After the first date or especially the first kiss the texts stop coming as much because he thinks he's got you now. He doesn't have to chase you as much.

I wouldn't worry about it as much. When I first had to deal with this problem, my mom gave me some very useful advice: don't think about him texting you or calling you because if you do then your mind will come up with all kinds of horrible scenarios that you will eventually reveal in the relationship and everything you hoped for in the relationship is ruined. You have to remember he is a guy and guys stereotypically don't like talking on the phone as much as girls. For example, one night my boyfriend didn't text me at all when he promised we would hang out that night. Turns out he was at church. I felt like such an idiot for not trusting him and coming up with all these stories about things he might be doing with another girl. Sure, he was with another girl, but this girl's name was Mom. lol I realized that he has a life, too, and I can't be sitting around waiting for him to call. Needless to say, he did call me as soon as church let out.

Has he talked to you at all after your first date? If you have kept in contact with him every day or a least every two days I wouldn't worry about it at all. And if he hasn't said anything more about the second date I would kinda hint at it the next time you talk. I'm sure he'll eventually come around. But remember, sweetie, men HATE women who are clingy. Nothing turns them away more. But if I were you I wouldn't worry about his actions too much and let him come to you.

Hope this helps :)

[Asker]

Thanks for responding rach! The last time I spoke to him was when I text'd him on Monday.

He hasn't reached out after that.

If I were to go with my gutt on this one, I'd said he's not really interested. And based on the fact that we had such great conversation before hand, I might have downright turned him off somewhere, because this feels a little drastic (from someone who was communicating every day to a 4 day lapse.)

Your response was refreshing though!

[dizzy_up_the_girl]

This has happened to me so many times! It's almost like there is an off switch after a certain period of time that just goes of in there heads. :/

Though in my opinion its the initial fascination with someone that tends to die down after a while, and the amount of time it takes depends on the individual.

I don't think that you should read a lot into It. Ask him if he wants to meet up :) that is better than texting anyway rite? the physical side is probably what he is after now- getting to know you in person - the hard part was getting you to like him, which is possibly why he was trying so hard with the texts.

:) go on give him a call and meet up, will help you stop worrying and give you a better idea of what is going on.

Xxxxx after all we can only give you our opinions and point of view.

[WeaponZero]

I've said this a bunch of times before and I'll gladly say it again. Anyone who actually takes texts, or the way someone behaves pertaining to texts, seriously, is in for a relationship full of drama and trouble and they only brought it on themselves.

Not everybody enjoys playing with their phone. Try picking it up and using it as an actual phone sometime. A lot of us prefer that. I know that me, personally, I could never ever take a girl seriously who insisted on communicating through text rather than actual phone conversation.

[Asker]

I hear you, but I guess I'm just comparing his communication early on, to his sudden lack of communication. He doesn't call either.

[WeaponZero]

Not calling, now that may be something to worry about, unless he's really busy. How often do you two communicate?

[Asker]

Well at first he was the one texting several times a day. And calling once a day.

Another thing... I met him online, and I've seen that he's been logging on to the site, but not calling me. So don't think he's busy.

[WeaponZero]

How long have you two been going out? This sort of transition is common 6 months to 2 years into the relationship. Things slow down because you've gotten used to each other. It means you've reached the end of what's called the "honeymoon phase" of the relationship. It's not a bad thing although many people think it is, and a lot of misunderstandings happen as a result.

[Asker]

This was in the span of 2.5 weeks.

[WeaponZero]

Then yeah, that's something to worry about.

[AtomizerJr]

In 2 weeks, has he asked you on a real-life date?

[Asker]

Yeah, we went on one date, and it was great. He said he'd definitely want to go on a second one. But I just haven't heard from him. I just don't know if I should read these signs as someone not interested, and make up my mind to just move on.

[AtomizerJr]

My opinion is that the texts are not important.

My opinion is the fact that he hasn't asked you on another date is _extremely_ important. As a general rule, a guy who's interested in you will want to see you at least once a week -- even if he wants to take it slow. and people who want to move slowly usually make it clear by saying things like "i like you but I also need to move slowly."

[AlanHB]

If he gets bored of playing with his phone, that doesn't indicate a lack of interest.

If he doesn't go on another date with you, that does.