Guy asked me out, and I regret saying yes. What do I do?

[Anonymous]

I feel awful. We met recently, and we were really hitting it off. I have so much fun with him, and I do have a little bit of a crush on him. So he asked me out a few days ago, and I said yes, because... well, yeah, I like him. But I'm also dealing with depression and anxiety, and I honestly don't think I'm in a good place to be dating right now, mentally. I thought I could, but the way I reacted after I said yes to the date has been absolutely awful. Like the level of self-doubt and stress and general angst has been through the roof.

And I think I should go on the date I agreed to, since I did say yes already, but if he wants to go out again after that (on the off chance he doesn't hate me by the end -.-)... what do I do? What do I say? We're coworkers, and while we don't -have- to see each other, I'm sure we'll run into each other every so often. And I don't want to cut him out of my life anyway. He's such a fun, great guy. :(

[PainfullyHonest135]

Call off the date. Your well being comes in first.

After that, explain to him that you have been going through a rough patch, that you would love too go out with him but when your in a better state of mind. Try to sound desperate, a bit nervous, and convey the feeling of felling very bad for letting him down. KEEP TALKING TO HIM. As soooon as your feeling better, even if its for like 2-3 days, YOU arrange a date. Dont plan it too far in advance (on the exact day you feel good, like after work, or the day after, dont plan 2 days ahead, be sponteneous, or the nerves leading up to a new date could mess you up), and keep it SIMPLE. Go to a starbucks for some coffee, or a small dinner. Simple place, simple logistics, no difficulty to get their, and where the two of you can be alone and talk, and preferably close to one of you two's houses... for:

After that have sex with him asap (if you wanna keep him). That is the most sure-fire way to get a guy hooked. If he leaves you after sex, he was going to do that anyway, going on more dates or prolonging it wouldent have changed the outcome.

Also, remember that sex is a GREAT stress reliever and anti-depressent, since human contact and sexual discharge releases Oxytocin, one of the body's most powerful natural anti-depressents and stress relievers. Which could help you get through your rough patch and see him more often.

[NotATotalDouchebag]

Go on the date in my opinion, but at some point on the date tell him exactly what you've said here—that you like him, but your depression and anxiety are a real problem for you and that you really don't think you should be dating right now because it wouldn't be good for your mental health / stress levels.

If the date goes well and he still wants to make something work, tell him you want to take it slow.

Personally, I found that dating the right person actually helped my depression immensely. But I know people who've experienced the opposite—or dated the wrong person and had things get worse.

So yeah, just be careful, open and honest, and take things at a controlled pace. :)

[Our_Dilemmas]

Maybe just say to him that you are going to have to cancel the date because you have a lot going on. It's not that there's anything wrong with him just that you have too much going on with you. That way you don't need to tell him about your depression. You may have to accept though that by cancelling your date he may move on.

[GrooveSick]

I guess you should tell him the truth about how you feel. If he's a great guy, he should understand it

[Just1n123]

Tell him during your date how you feel and if he loves you he'll try and help you.