Why do girls think they can get with the guys they previously rejected after we've improved ourselves?

[Anonymous]

I was fat when I started college and lacked the confidence to be successful with girls. I didn't have much success, and I got rejected by a female friend I asked out my freshman year. She was the only girl I asked out that entire academic year.

I realized that I was never going to be socially successful if I remained fat, so I joined a training studio and paid a ton of money to a trainer to help get me in shape. I've lost a ton of weight, and more importantly, I've totally changed my body composition so I'm lean and muscular, though not huge. My confidence is up as well, and I've started flirting and dating more girls as a result.

The thing is, the female friend who rejected me my freshman year and another girl who blew me off have started paying attention to me now and are trying to flirt. It's not flattering at all, it's just very off-putting and annoying. They both rejected me in one way or another, so why do they now believe that I want to be with them? Do they think I'll just be grateful to have some female attention, even though I'm no longer out of shape?

[leahcha]

Honestly I think you are being a jerk. If the girls weren't attracted to you then because you didn't take care of yourself that is completely fair. Now you are fit and healthy they see you as a more compatible match. Again fair. So unless you think you are too good for them now I don't see any issue. Physical attraction is important to get a relationship going. I think you are resenting them for no reason.

[Asker]

That's very insulting and extremely biased to the girls' view.. I've never treated them poorly, THEY treated ME poorly. I'm not a jerk at all. If anything, I'm too nice.

[leahcha]

Not wanting to date you is not treating you poorly. Its life. There have been men in my life I wanted to date who haven't been interested. I don't hold a grudge. If they bullied you thats different but that is not what you said.

[Asker]

No, they never bullied me, but they did treat me in a very mocking way, like yeah, you think you can get with me? Even if you reject someone there's no need to prove a point about how highly you think of yourself in the process. They weren't required to like me, just as I'm not required to like them now. But the idea is that, once you've rejected me, it's insulting and highly presumptuous to think that I'd even want a second chance with you.

[lost_kitten]

If it was a year ago maybe they forgot? Or maybe they assume that since you liked them once you might still be into them. Most people tend to have skewed memories about things cause they can't admit to having acted badly. But who cares, they aren't worth it, don't waste your time carrying just show them the same consideration they showed you.

[lost_kitten]

sorry caring*

[Asker]

They may have forgotten, but I really believe that some girls think so highly of themselves that they believe any guy would slit his own wrist to have them. I don't blame them for not being attracted to me when I was fat, but once rejected, I don't fall for someone twice. In this case, I know the only reason they really want me now is because I'm in shape.