I think you should apologize.
And look this may make your relationship stronger if you can get through this bro. I mean I would make up with her. Cars are replaceable people aren't. I mean she obviously feels and and you do to. Seem a like a good guy. If I were you...
Well it's like this if you show her you love her still and are still nice to her and stuff bro she already feels bad. I mean ya a few thousand dollars. Use charity money for it. I mean a broken heart irepearable. A broken fender that you can fix. If I were you I would take her out to dinner and stuff
Cuz she is already upset about and I wonder if in a way she is more upset about than you are.
Look bro this is your chance to shine. True love glows in the dark. And if you get through this... you can get through anything good luck47 Reply
Asker+1 yi already apologized 3 times. I really am sorry. seeing her cry made me sad after the fact i got mad. She promised to pay for the damages. i will treat her to dinner tomorrow
Asker+1 yyeah, i messed up bad cause she was already worried of my rection she told me. I will make sure things are right :)
Asker+1 yDisney? was this in a Disney story?
Asker+1 yOh ok lol. thanks
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That was pretty reckless of her, I agree. I would also be pretty mad. Maybe share the cost for repairs (you can actually use this to your advantage - for birthdays or anniversaries, you can spend much less because you can use the excuse that you're still at a bit of a loss from paying for repairs and she won't get mad if you're cheaper than usual), and that way she won't feel super guilty about wrecking it, but will still feel bad enough that she didn't take full responsibility.
I think you should apologise for calling her that, but I don't think she will be too bothered by what you said because you were put in a position where you were really irritated. Hope it helps!01 Reply
Asker+1 yShe said she would pay for the damages and i did say sorry to her 3 times for calling her that. I was mad and was not thinking
Thats a hard one!
But in every case, no matter if it's a girlfriend, family member or friend - it's just never ok.
But in this case it actually seems like she's really sorry. Of course she should pay/cover for the damages - but dont be so hard on her, i know it sucks, that she broke your car, but shit happens and i doubt that she did it on purpose or doesn't care about your car, she just hit that pole by accident, it could've happened for everybody! As long as she owns up to it, apologize, and pay the prize.010 Reply
Asker+1 ytold her i was sorry for the blonde joke. and she said she would pay for the full damage.
- +1 y
@Bea123 Slowly the nest generations of people seem to believe it is fair to not pay their share of responsibility if they feel disrespected. I wonder how fucked up the monetary/credit system will be in 50 years. Everyone will have to sign a contract for buying things like a candy bar.
- +1 y
*next*
/.,.,., - +1 y
@sluggognatface i dont think she should have to pay the whole amount after her boyfriend treated her like that.
- +1 y
@Bea123 So somehow she is less responsible then?
- +1 y
@sluggognatface no she is still completely responsible but i think after the way her boyfriend treated her (completely unfair) she should pay only 3/4 of it
- +1 y
@Bea123 So words that hurt feelings is a 25% monetary deduction?
- +1 y
@sluggognatface think wut u want but my opinion is that instead of calling her things and yelling at her he should have been more supportive of her. yes, its fine to be mad and all but you dont scream at your girlfriend about something she's already upset and crying about.
- +1 y
@Bea123 I agree. He is a jerk to do that. That has nothing to do with personal responsibility. These things in life are lessons. He may learn to be more kind and patient and she can learn to be more careful in the type of guys she picks and the way she drives. Morally paying one's debt/damage is not going to change because of emotions.
I'd pay for the damages and then dump you. I hope she has the sense to do the same. You shouldn't speak to someone you care about like that. It's just a fucking car. She didn't run over your mom.
157 Reply- +1 y
Good at least he would a new car.
Asker+1 yit's not "just a car:. But i did say sorry to her and i will make it up to her. She said she would pay for it.
- +1 y
A person can mess up, chill bruh. It's not like an abusive cycle where he always does this and over time degrades her and makes her think she's worth nothing. He just snapped because his car crashed because someone did something reckless.
Don't run away from your mistakes. - +1 y
@KramivViolin Exactly. A person can mess up, like his girlfriend did. There's no need to attack someone's intelligence for a mistake like this. How do you know it isn't an abusive cycle? Are you a member of their relationship? Yeah, I didn't think so.
- +1 y
No. Look at my comment on this.
Asker+1 y@KramivViolin @cankles @kakrahiri I realized i made a mistake by saying that and i said i was sorry 3 times. I was really mad and i understand the mistake i have done.
+1 yYou traded in the Camaro for a BMW?
www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1409911-my-girlfriend-damaged-my-car-i-got-mad-at-her-yelled-a-bit-how-can10 Reply
+1 yWhat you said wasn't really ok. I mean tell her you're sorry but make sure she pays for at least half the price. What car is it?
63 Reply
Asker+1 yI guess i can and a 2009 335i coupe
- +1 y
ohhh my :$ yeah that might be like $1000+ about, if it is bad. I hope she does at least pay for half or 3/4... work something out with her :) Goodluck bro!!!
What Girls & Guys Said
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8Opinion
+1 yThat was super douchie. Are you telling me you've never made a mistake? What if someone called you a stupid pile of cum gather and told you that you shouldn't be living? You should have taken it better and told her that you love her clumsiness but she would have to pay for it, but not at once. That you understand mistakes happen. She's only human. Let her pay it in payments. I did this to my boyfriends F250 and he treated me just as I've described and I payed for it and everything went well. It would've just made things worse if he started being really mean. A dinted car can be fixed, you hurting her like that can never be taken back.
Good luck. Just watch your words. They can hurt.15 Reply
Asker+1 yit's a bit more than a dent, I told her i was sorry for the blonde joke and sorry for making her cry more yesterday. She said she would pay for full and i'm really surprised caused she was like "are you going to break up with me?" Why would she say that? This isn't to the point of breaking up,
- +1 y
Lol you are crazy, possessions like Cars are worth a lot, much more than a girlfriend or a boyfriend.
- +1 y
If it was worse than a dent then you should've been more concerned if she was ok or not. Still, there were better ways of reacting. My mom gave me good advice once. She said if you can't change it, then there's no point in worrying or stressing over it. Meaning, what your girlfriend done was already done, there was no changing it so being mean to her wasn't going to change the situation. Also meaning to just deal with it in the calmest, best possible way.
If you showed extreme irritation with her, even to the point of treating her in a way you normally don't (name calling and such) then I could see where she would think you'd break up with her.
Asker+1 y@Bea123 @Sdavis2604 I will make it up to her because i called her a dumb blonde. Seeing her cry really made me sad. I will forsure say sorry again tomorrow.
+1 yWell, she should've been more careful. Don't attack her essence as a person, but rather help her accept responsibility and to pay for it. You being her boyfriend, you should share the hardships in your parter's life, and, in this situation, help her make half the money to pay for stuff.
1) apologize
2) don't make her accept responsibility, but make her realize the amount of work you must do to make up for her mistake. If she sees how hard working you are later on or initially, she may want to accept some responsibility in paying for the costs.13 Reply- +1 y
2) contin.
or you could ask her to help you directly. I think that'd be best. Kind of guilt her into it but with no aggression whatsoever.
Asker+1 yThankd and i will apologze once again tomorrow cause i made her feel sad
- +1 y
Okay, nice!
+1 yYou shouldn't EVER insult someone on a personal level. You can show her that you're upset at her because of her ACTIONS, but by getting down to a personal level you make it seem like she is the problem... put yourself in her shoes and realize that she is trying to help and that she is seriously sorry. Let her pay for half of it and apologize.
16 Reply
Asker+1 yi already apologized 3 times. I really am sorry. seeing her cry made me sad after the fact i got mad. She promised to pay for the damages
- +1 y
Tell her you really love her and take her out on a date... Not a super expensive date, but a nice one, tell her why she's amazing and that you really didn't mean it :) I hope you guys are okay soon :)
Asker+1 yi already said dinner. i was stupid for saying that, she means the world to me and more important than a material object
- +1 y
Tell her that. If she loves you, she will forgive you :)
Asker+1 yyes i will for sure. What i did was an asshole move. She is more important
- +1 y
Listen, in a relationship we all have our ups and downs and when you're able to resolve those problems and put them behind it shows how healthy, strong, and good your relationship is :)
+1 yIt was a dick move of her to damage your car, I'd be pissed unless it was an accident.
But it was also a dick move of you to call her a stupid blonde.
I'd definitely pay the damages if I was the one that did that, but I think the relationship would go downhill because I won't be spoken too like that by anyone.12 Reply
Asker+1 yi already apologized 3 times. I really am sorry. seeing her cry made me sad after the fact i got mad. She promised to pay for the damages. I was mad and never should of said that
- +1 y
Good on you :) Shitty situation for both of you to be in :P
You only care about your stupid car, and only preoccupied about making sure she pays you back for the damage. You can apologize all you want, but you can't take your words back, and the way you keep badgering her about paying for it really says a lot about you. She sounds really sweet, but I hope she sees you for what you are, now, and exits the relationship as soon as she settles up with you. You really don't deserve her.
07 Reply
Asker+1 yi seen your above comment and i wanted to say i already apologized 3 times. I really am sorry. seeing her cry made me sad after the fact i got mad. She promised to pay for the damages. I also said i would take her out for dinner. I was mad and that go too me. She is a sweet girl and it would such if she ever did leave me. I love my car but she is more important than a material object
- +1 y
You have to pick your battles when you are in a relationship. Yes, she wrecked your car, and that can be resolved, but banning her from ever using it again will build a wall in your relationship, too. It will come between you. Once you start cutting off privileges, you are sending messages to her that she can't come to you when she needs something, which is pretty much the same as telling her she can't rely on you. If she can't rely on you, then why would she NEED you? Pressuring her for money doesn't say you care, either. No matter how angry you are, her safety, happiness, and well--being should always come first.
Asker+1 yi understand what you're saying. I asked her if she would pay for some of the damages and she herself said she will pay for full. I'am taking her out for dinner tonight cause i feel bad when i called her a dumb blonde. I didn't mean to say those words and i told her i was really sorry the way i reacted. She was not hurt at all but still seems to be dissapointed in her herself. When we i told her yesturday "i want to speak with you". She thought i was going to break up with her because of this but i told her this is not a reason to break up.
Asker+1 yoh no no, i was meaning like as in "accident" hurt. But now i understand what hurt you mean. I took her out tonight to her favorite restaurant and she seems to be ok after tonight. I told her she was smart andf also bough her flowers. Was what i did enough?
Asker+1 yi did, i feel ok with myself and calm now. I do feel bad i said those things to her. i won't ever do it again
+1 yOk, well, you probably shouldn't have said what you did, and you know it. It's certainly understandable though, and I'd be furious too. You said something nasty in anger, and that's pretty normal. You didn't hit her, or get violent, so an apology should be all that is required for that.
It was obviously an accident, so I do hope you can forgive her. She does need to pay to repair the damage though. At least most of it, if not all of it. It was her fault, after all.01 Reply
Asker+1 yi already apologized 3 times. I really am sorry. seeing her cry made me sad after the fact i got mad. She promised to pay for the damages
As a girl who LOVES cars, I can totally understand your anger and frustration. HOWEVER, dude its just a car, and I'm sure it was hard enough on her to mess it up. Saying what you did was a bit harsh, and I recommend telling her sorry once your anger has passed. Now you as a guy, I know y'all cherish your cars and tell her any help to make it better is appreciated just like she is. I'm sure it can all be worked out.
02 Reply
Asker+1 yI did say sorry to her today and i will make it up to her (that i said she was a dumb blonde). She said she would pay for it also.
+1 yOf course you would get mad. Maybe its too harsh to call her stupid blonde. Should apologise and say i went out of line, i got mad etc. If she didn't get upset or didn't say sorry too many times, she doesn't care.
Apologise and say you were disappointed. Don't know what to say about the bill being paid. How long you two been together? I believe the 'you break it, you pay for it.'01 Reply
Asker+1 yshe was crying. I did also say sorry today. I told her to try and pay it full and she said yes
This is why i don't drive his car lol my car is nothing compare to him so he can drive anytime and damage it lol i'd be more concerned if he got hurt from the damage he made. But that's just me lol people value material goods differently. But my man comes first.
01 Reply
Asker+1 yI told her i was sorry 3 times and that she meant more to me then my car and i should of not acted that way
I'd tell her "I can always buy a new car, but I can't buy a new you. I'm glad you're okay".
You verbally attacked someone you care about because they ACCIDENTALLY damaged a material possession of yours.50 Reply
Anonymous(18-24)+1 yu were way too hard on her if i was her i would break up with you. You should be understanding, and maybe a little mad but calling her a stupid blonde? thats not being a good boyfriend its being a jerk
SAY SORRY you didn't mean any of it. tell her she doesn't have to get the money to fix it and that its ok. if you dont, you're relationship is screwed03 Reply- +1 y
Lol typical radical feminist raised in the 15th century, i pity you.
Opinion Owner+1 y@MissIndependent111 i have two words for you: shut up. oh wait, i have one more. bitch.
Asker+1 yI did say sorry to her today and i will make it up to her (that i said she was a dumb blonde). She said she would pay for it. I know i said it in a bad way and i was a bit harsh on her.
771 opinions shared on Dating topic. I feel like I've read this exact question a few months ago or something. Maybe even when I was on my linkywinky account.
31 Reply- +1 y
Oh good I'm not the only one who noticed this. There was a guy a few months ago posting this exact question (or very similar questions) every few days. He always said that his girl crashed either his corvette or his BMW or something like that.
+1 yI would've been upset too, but insulting the person you love is uncalled for. Accidents happen, and getting angry and calling her names was both unnecessary and disrespectful.
30 ReplyI certainly wouldn't berate her like you've done. That's a dick head move on your part.
I'm a relaxed person and I understand that accidents happen. Also, I'd care more about HER well being than my car - - a material possession.30 ReplyI know you're a guy and you value your car, but that was hurtful to call her stupid and tell her she shouldn't be driving. It's something that can be fixed and you should be glad she was not injured in the collision
01 Reply
Asker+1 yi already apologized 3 times. I really am sorry. seeing her cry made me sad after the fact i got mad. She promised to pay for the damages
- 335 opinions shared on Dating topic.
+1 yIf it were my car and someone I care about crash it, initially I would be worried if they're ok and then comes the car. I do agree the name calling was rude.
10 Reply Uh, that's not okay on her part. Hope your insurance can help cover most of it. She should pay for deductible and whatever's not covered though.
07 Reply
Asker+1 yyeah put my insurance will skyrocket. It's better for them NOT to know. She can pay me 3/4 at least
Asker+1 ywell no time soon is she taking my car ever again
Asker+1 y2009 bmw 335i coupe
Asker+1 yyeah :( and thanks
Anonymous(30-35)+1 yThat's a little rude. I understand you were mad but did you at least apologize after the fact? It's not like she intended to damage your car.
If my boyfriend damaged my truck I wouldn't be happy, no, but I wouldn't call him names.06 Reply
Asker+1 yi did not apologize but i guess i should right?
Opinion Owner+1 yWell unless you want her to believe you find her to be a stupid blonde that shouldn't be able to drive.
Asker+1 yyou think it really bothered her? I guess i will say sorry. Do blondes get offended at that? i though they just joked about it
Opinion Owner+1 yI'm not blonde so I can't say for sure but I know some do. And if she was upset about it when it happened she's most likely still upset about your comment. Girls dwell about things a lot, especially those said by people they love.
Asker+1 yShe started to cry when i said it so maybe she is still sad. I will say sorry to her
Opinion Owner+1 yOkay, that sounds like a good idea!
+1 yMeh.. that's just a normal human response don't know why everyone's getting so upset >_> Its not like you hit her.
At least she said she'd pay for it. When you borrow something you are responsible for anything that happens to it.00 Reply
+1 yInsulting someone is never the right thing to do. Instead of asking her if she was okay you were more worried about your car. Material things are always replaceable
22 Reply
Asker+1 yShe was ok and I did also say sorry today. I told her to try and pay it full and she said yes
- +1 y
As are humans, so your logic is inaccurate.
I think she must feels quite guilty, so she already got punish, got mad is ok for you, but few days are enough.
03 Reply
Asker+1 yi'm going to say sorry for the blonde joke
Asker+1 ythanks
5.6K opinions shared on Dating topic. You have the right to be pissed. But maybe after you should have just told her that you didn't mean it!
02 Reply
Asker+1 yi told her i was sorry for saying that to her
+1 yi think that was a rude response, obviously she didn't hit it on purpose. but i do think she should chip in to fix it
01 Reply
Asker+1 yI did say sorry to her today and i will make it up to her (that i said she was a dumb blonde). She said she would pay for it.
Anonymous(36-45)+1 yThat's so tough. I know at the spare of the moment you're pissed. I would be too.. but maybe next time not use those harsh words. A mistake. Things happen.
As insurance for you will go up, best bet is paying the cost. Sorry bro... The things you do when you're in a relationship.00 Reply
Anonymous(36-45)+1 yLol omg. Relax. If ya have insurance just say you were driving. Your deductible should cover it. But ya never heard this information from me.
06 Reply
Asker+1 yMy insurance will go up though will it not? i think it will and i have a'09 bmw 335i, So it will be costly
Opinion Owner+1 yI'm cringing. Yea it will so tell her to pay the fuckin difference it's her fault anyway. But don't say it like that. Request it. Because she does owe you at least that much. But try to refrain from name calling. I understand you were upset and that should be outta your system now.
Asker+1 yi will talk to her tomorrow. I will say sorry and also ask her to pay for at least 3/4
Opinion Owner+1 yNice😊I'm sure everything will work itself out
Asker+1 ythanks
Opinion Owner+1 yAnytime😊
- 3.9K opinions shared on Dating topic.
+1 yIt happened to my wife and to me. It never got any of us mad.
01 Reply
Asker+1 yI told her i was sorry 3 times and that she meant more to me then my car and i should of not acted that way
+1 yI would shout at her, but i wouldn't call her names. Although if she got bitchy and say she wouldn't pay the damages then i would have to sue her.
02 Reply
Asker+1 yI told her i was sorry 3 times and that she meant more to me then my car and i should of not acted that way
- +1 y
@Asker Well if it makes you feel happy. I wouldn't do that until she would pay for the damages.
Anonymous(30-35)+1 yAccidents happen! If the car is so important, why did you let her borrow? You can't talk to someone like that, it is disrespectful and prejudiced.
00 Reply
Anonymous(45 Plus)+1 yShe won't pay to fix it. Shit happens and it's only money but women sure love to destroy a man's vehicles.
22 Reply- +1 y
LOL... no we don't, but we feel really bad when we do. He was wrong to berate her, though. If it were my situation, I would offer to pay the deductible, then I would get out of the relationship and leave him to be alone with his precious car, which he obviously cares more for than me. Only girls and douchebags drive BMW's, anyway.
Opinion Owner+1 y@cankles Ha Beamers are nice ass cars. Yeah I would and have numerous times had girlfriends wreck my car and I never freaked out too bad or called the idiots idiots although I wanted to. I guarantee you she won't pay anything or much on this guys car.
if she was my girlfriend... she'd be the kinda person offer to pay/help out w/o me asking.
00 Replyyou're kind of a douche...
20 Reply
+1 ySue her. She has to take responsibility.
07 Reply
Asker+1 yoh god. Not sure, i'm not going that far. I told her i was sorry for the blonde joke. and she said she would pay for the full damage.
- +1 y
@Asker Good that she is paying for it.
- +1 y
Suing is definitely too far. If she willing to pay in full, then good. But suing is a little over the top.
- +1 y
@Sdavis2604 Yes, but if not then suing is the only option, she sounds reckless and deserves to be taught a lesson.
- +1 y
Yea, but we all make mistakes. It may be different if she didn't agree to pay. But the guy said she did agree to pay. It's always better to give people the benefit of the doubt and see what they do with it instead of not giving them the benefit of the doubt and then looking like a bitch in the end because that person would've cooperated. You know?
- +1 y
@Sdavis2604 Sure i would ask her/him if they are going to pay for it in full price. If they said no, or i would not receive the money in a week, then it's game over for them and i would be suing them straight away, this is if they would be my GF/BF. If they were a STRANGER, then i would be a lot harsher. You see? i am being nice here, a bitch/bastard would kick the shit out of you.
- +1 y
That's true. I just tend to be more forgiving and know that some people can't afford to get a lot of money saved up in a week. Not saying you're a terrible person, we just have different options and that's ok. That's what makes us unique and awesome. I do think your approach would be appropriate if they refused to pay.
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