My girlfriend damaged my car and I got mad at her and yelled a bit. How can I make her talk to me (I think she is scared to meet me)?

[Anonymous]

Long story short my gf was driving my camaro and she damaged the front bad, when she came back to my house i got mad and called her a dumb blonde, i was mad and i was walking towards her and the car and out of nowhere she was like "i'm very sorry, i'm sorry, please don't hit me". I stopped and asked her why would i hit? i just wanted my keys back. I never mad (except for this time) and i'am always nice to her. After when i calmed down i told her sorry and we can resolve this another day.

She was crying and continued to say how sorry she was and went i went to go hug her, she was hesitant? Was this because she though i was going to hit her? why would she think that (she never told me about her getting abused before, so I don't know if its that)?
Also what can i do to meet her at her house or somewhere she feels safe so we can talk about it/

[xHoneyxBeex]

Usually when people have extreme reactions like that (her thinking you were going to hit her) means they have a history of abuse. You being angry and walking towards her should not cause that sort of response. If you've never hit her before, then there's really no other reason she would think that, unless she has a history of abuse with a previous partner.

I think you should talk to her. Tell her that you aren't mad anymore and that you just want to talk about what happened. You should meet in a place where she is comfortable, so yeah, somewhere like her own house would probably be fine.

[Omar5881]

Too much serious talking that I couldn't bare Lol 😂

[Asker]

i have never ever hit, or any other girl in my life and never will no matter what happens. I will, i hope it goes well. and i will ask her about it too

[xHoneyxBeex]

Yeah, I think it definitely needs to be addressed so you can find out why she reacted that way. Best of luck to you.

[Asker]

thank you

[xHoneyxBeex]

No problem. Thanks for MH :)

[girl_african]

Perhaps she has never seen you react in such a way so she did expect it. My bf and had never had a fight so you have no idea how he reacts n certain situations. Just text her telling you love her so knows it. And give her time to get over the shock. You like a great boyfriend by the way.

[Asker]

thanks, i this was the first time i yelled at her but i will do what you said.

[girl_african]

I meant to say so she didn't expect it and that I have no idea how my bf would react. You probably just startled her think you guys will work it out:)

[Asker]

ye and thanks

[SenNausicaa]

I'll link you what I told this guy yesterday, he gave it MHO.

www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1408885-my-gf-used-my-car-it-won-t-start-we-had-a-bit-of-a-confrontation

[Asker]

oh wow that is good.

[SenNausicaa]

Hope it helps, good luck!

[Asker]

thanks

[CoverGuy]

I almost shed a tear reading that.

But anyway
I think you should maybe tell her over text that your emotions peaked in the moment and that you didn't mean what you said (something like that). If you want to go up to her house to apologize, I'd suggest going with one or two police officers with you (I have no idea if this will work, but if it were possible, it would give her some assurance that nothing bad will happen to her).

[sean1234]

Hah! Most people these days don't know how to drive so I don't know why you're surprised.

As for her and the hitting thing and her getting upset, did you give her a hug? If not you should have. That could have solved everything. It still can.

[Asker]

yeah i did but she is still not wanting to meet

[RationalLioness]

It does seem like a reaction from an abused person. Her house would be a good place to meet her at, but stop calling her names.

[Asker]

i won't call her names anymore this is the first time. should i talk to her about it?

[RationalLioness]

Yes. You should. I don't think it's common for a woman who isn't abused to exclaim that.

[Omar5881]

Well u acted pretty normally coz damaging a man's car like u break a girl's nail, so say sorry I was stupid to yell at u and a humble gift

[AkumaKira]

Dude just go give her a big hug and a kiss in the forehead :)

[Anonymous]

YELLED at her because she damaged yer car...

conclusion...

u luv yer CAR more than her... isn't it?

[Asker]

well she did damage it. But i do live her a lot

[arianna15]

she has most likely been abused before, people don't act like this without a reason

[Asker]

should i talk to her about it?

[arianna15]

just say that u are worried because she was flinching when u went to give her a hug and say that things are ok u were just mad at first and that u would never hit any girl especially not her and is there anything she wants to talk about e. g. why she flinches

[Asker]

alright