How to avoid being a rebound?

[Anonymous]

So I've started talking to a guy about 2-3 weeks ago. When we first started speaking he made some comments about an ex wanting to know what I was dealing with I asked how long ago he's been single & he truthfully told me a week! I also asked him him how they split up & why. He informed me it was him who ended it due to her not wanting any kids in the future & he did and there was no point carrying it on after 4 years.

It made me wary but I still spoke to him anyways as we get on great & I enjoyed speaking to him. We talk everyday about everything. He said about going on a date & I said we could just hang out as friends first as I know you e got a lot going on.

Why i I like this guy I don't want to be the rebound girl, how do I avoid being it? And what signs should I look out for?

[Esplorare]

The only way to avoid being a rebound is by exiting the possible situation. In all honesty, you will become a rebound in this situation whether he intends for you to or not. He just finished committing excessive amounts of his energy, focus, and life journey on a woman for nearly half a decade. That's four years of valuable, precious time he will never get back yet felt was time worth investing for nearly half a decade. There's no telling what blissful, engaging, irreplaceable, unforgettable moments they shared together. Naturally, he's going to compare the next female and the next female experience to all he's had for the past four years. By default, he's going to compare your mannerisms, your vibe, and the time you create together with another female *his ex*. He's going to compare your lovemaking skills with her, the unique curves on your body, the way you do little things. Despite what he says, he's probably still trying to get over this woman whom he felt was worth spending four years of his life with. THAT SUCKS.

Who wants to be compared to someone's past? -_- I recommend being cool with him and not allowing things to get romantic or sexual until a significant amount of time has passed. Honestly though, if I were you, I wouldn't go near that situation for a year minimum. Depending on the person, it can take people YEARS to fully get over their ex. I want no part of that.

[ImNotCreativeEither]

There's really not much you can do to avoid being a rebound. His circumstances and feelings will dictate that. I would be careful about telling a guy you just want to start out as friends though. That's not something we like hearing, even if you hint that it's temporary. It feels like we're stalled.

You should take it slow, however. I would text him frequently and help him get his mind off of her. Try to start an "our thing" with him. I get hooked on girls easily when we have our own little thing we do, like ending texts with random emojis that have nothing to do with what the text was about. Something I only do with her. You might want to consider some physical stuff too. You don't have to have sex with him but I wouldn't put off making out or anything because he will go out and find someone else to get that from. Make him feel like there's potential with you so he doesn't lose interest.

[dakraziest]

Run the minute he starts comparing u to his old girl

[Asker]

He's already told me I'm not anything like any of the girls he normally goes with & he said it's a good thing

[dakraziest]

Well that is good
But the minute he says that my ex used to do this or u remind me her when u do that
Run

[jacquesvol]

Is it so bad to be the rebound girl?

[Asker]

When you want a long term relationship, yeah! Plus who's to say I don't end up falling for him then his ex changing her mind & saying she does want kids.

[jacquesvol]

Since most people are or were in a relationship and many relationships fail, almost all relationships can be classified as 'rebound' relationships. Didn't you have a previous boyfriend?

[jacquesvol]

My wife too was welcome when my ex and l separated.