I'm not sure if this story counts because I was so young but I'll tell it anyway.
When I was 8 I had this huge crush on my brothers friend. When I was 10 the crush was still there and only my friends and brother knew about it (only my brother had left by this point). One day I admitted to 1 of my classmates too and it got around the class. My classmate offered to tell my crush for me seeing as though he was a year above me and would be leaving in 2 days. I thought, why not?
At break my classmate asked and came back to me saying "Sorry, he isn't interested". I wasn't actually too affected by it, I mean I hadn't heard from my crush himself so it didn't feel 100% real and I could just ignore him and try like someone else. Later though, 2 other of my classmates who were bullies came to me saying they'd asked and he'd said yes. I told them "No, he said no". They were confused how I knew but told me he wanted to see me and dragged me over to him, he tried to spare my feelings by saying he already had a girlfriend and went to walk away but they pulled him bk and kept onto him until he whispered to me "Sorry, but no". I was so embarrassed that had to happen in front of everyone and cried and felt terrible for ages. I never asked a boy out again.
I had also heard stories online of girls telling guys they liked them and if the guy doesn't like them back they would ignore them and not speak to them and stop being their friend. I was scared of that too. Last time I got a crush I didn't ask him out or tell him I liked him, I just tried to flirt and hint at it, he admitted he liked me and asked me out, and now he is my boyfriend so I think that turned out okay.
i prefer to choose that be chosen. i know why I'm asking. i don't know his intention, and often guys don't know why they want, or they pretend to want something they don't want, or not want something they do want. I'm just very down to earth and honest about my intentions and interests. i am careful to know exactly why I'm doing things before i do them. I do not find this to be the case with most guys. Anyhow i enjoy the feeling of going after what i want. success or not. and rejection is important to live with. in many areas not just dating. I also want to bypass guys who think certain roles belong to them, and certain roles are my place. We would never get along, and Asking guys out helps me save time, bc guys who expect gender roles are turned off by my initiating.
One more thing. I am very logical in my interactions with people. guys often play games high to me is irrational. Many guys claim they do this because it is how Women interact with Men, and Men need to interact with Women in kind. This is nonsense the lacks all accountability. I have no interest in being treated like an idiot because some guy has idiotic expectations of Women.
I never ask out a man. I don't fear rejection and I don't lack confidence. I get REALLY turned on if a guy approaches me with confidence. I would NOT date a man that I had to approach myself anyway, because I would consider him insecure somewhat and lose respect.
I only really asked one guy out ever and that was in the 7th grade (and yes, I did the dumb "Will you date me?" Check yes or no box). :D
Wait what...
"I would NOT date a man that I had to approach myself anyway, because I would consider him insecure somewhat and lose respect."
LETS swop things around a little
"I would NOT date a women that I had to approach myself anyway, because I would consider her insecure somewhat and lose respect."
Does that make sense to you?
@Azara That makes no sense. Just because I don't lack confidence doesn't mean that the guy DOESN'T if I HAVE to approach a guy that I'm interested in. If he's interested, why didn't he approach? 1) Because he's shy (not attractive). 2) Because he doesn't like to approach women (not attractive). I stated that I would consider the guy as such... it doesn't mean that the guy would be because I don't know that dude.
@jeppe_boy No. Swapping genders DOESN'T make sense but that does not make my statement any less valid. Here, men are expected to approach and it allows a woman to gauge his confidence when he does (by that simple action as well as his behavior when he does it). The fact that I would have to overtly approach a man who I showed subtle interest in because he didn't recognize my cues turns me completely off.
Not interested in guys who don't approach for no reason. I write them off as insecure if they seem interested (doesn't mean that they are).
OMG x2 @Araya you are so entitled
"1) Because he's shy (not attractive). 2) Because he doesn't like to approach women (not attractive)." - Did you just say that... funny how you left out maybe he doesn't want to approach you because your not attractive to him. huh the arrogance disgusts me... pathetic. Er, yes it does make sense, you are just entitled little brat. How would you like it if i said "here women are expected to cook"... see how dumb you sound. Why am i even responding to a girl like this.
Oh, and don't even bother responding to me, your not worth responding too if you can't see simple logic. have a nice day
@jeppe_boy Lol. Clearly you fail at reading comprehension because I stated "if he's interested, why didn't he approach?" And that makes me entitled? Hilariously ignorant. XD Not to mention the fact that what I stated was MY preference and the truth: men are expected to approach. If they don't want to, that's them but it will be harder for them to find dates... which is why it's expected for them to approach. Women here don't really need to unless if she wants to.
Now little boy. Scuttle off because you don't have a valid argument and your infantile insults simply shows how petty you're acting. :P
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Putting insults aside, he does have a valid argument.
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You are saying if you had to approach yourself you would consider the man insecure somewhat and you would lose respect. It wouldn't be logical to reach a conclusion about the man from your standpoint seeing it as you are the one who is approaching. You are heavily basing the judgement that you, without a shadow of a doubt, believe that the man is indeed interested in you but is reluctant to approach you. The problem is that you can never assume such a thing even if society dictates that a man must be the one to approach. Why? It is because many men don't care for what is expected of them by society and thus, don't care to approach. You are seriously ignoring the fact there are other reasons as to why a man wouldn't approach a girl even if he did like her.
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If you are trying argue that insecurity is the only reason for a man to not a approach a girl he clearly likes then that's just naive on your part.
Wow you're immature
@UnknownXYZ That was the best comment ever. Edgeworthy gifs.. pure genius
@UnknownXYZ His argument is not valid because it does not describe what I stated.
Per the rest of your comment, you're making assumptions about things that I have never stated. I'm not ignorant of the fact that there are men who will reject if I approach or other reasons why I would be denied. That's not even the issue we're talking about.
"I would NOT date a man that I had to approach myself anyway, because I would consider him insecure somewhat and lose respect."
This should have enlightened you to the simple fact that it would have been clear that the guy showed interest in me somehow.
And no one is arguing that insecurity is the only reason that men don't approach women. Please comprehend what is written before commenting.
@Indigocloud And I would care what a nobody calls me... why? Your opinion is of no matter. Projection much? XD
"doesn't care" finds the need to insult people for no reason. Are you incapable of retorting any other way? Plus you don't even know me to say I'm a nobody.
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@GuyWannaHelp I thank you kind sir.
I don't need to know you to know that I consider you worthless. :)
And yes. I was the one who began to insult people. Not jeppe_boy with his last comment which you clearly ignored and the fact that you hypocritically name-called as well. But me. XD
And you have to care for someone to insult them now? That's illogical. Since I insult people I DON'T care for regularly and wouldn't ever do that to someone who I did. :O
Move along, kid. You bore me. :)
I usually did the asking but only because my dad told me when I was young that boys were going to be intimidated by how "pretty" I am and that made him less worried. Ha. Now I'm not full of myself but him telling me that made me think I'd need to take the initiative. I can't be that pretty I've been turned down a couple times. Lol
I asked my husband out when we first met. That one worked out. =)
So I would just like to point out that a lot of guys won't approach women because they have been burnt far to many times before. Weather it be from misreading her or her just simply not having interest. I think a lot of you girls don't realize how humiliating it is to be rejected in public not to mention it's a killer blow to confidence and self esteem. You also need to realize that not every dude exudes confidence and you might be passing up a wonderful person all because he didn't wanna get burnt again.
they don't need to man.
if you're over a 7.5/10+ and or wealthy, girls make it obvious they like you. they'll give you the puppy eyes, hang onto your words try to socialize with you and will even initiate contact / offer their number to you.
if they ever want to go after a guy that they really desire, they skip the games and make it 95% obvious. If the guys too stupid to realize, they'll lose interest. They'll literally wave a sign in your face in a case like that.
I actually agree with this. Well said.
Why can't they just say something... Why the games... Always with the games.. I don't play those games if I like a girl... Thas exactly what I say to her... I LIKE YOU... What's so hard about that for them... That's annoying
Opinion
14Opinion
By "I sometimes ask the guy out first..." they mean "I sometimes suggest dates he should take me on when we're an actual couple."
hahaha yeah probably
every girl on this site: "yeah I ask out guys sometimes"
every guy in real life: "I have never heard of a girl asking a guy out like holy fuck that'd be a miracle"
I've half been asked out, my best friend who's a girl knows I like her and I've been having some issues with illness (throwing up) but it's stopped now. When I told her it stopped she said "yay :) so where are we going out for dinner?" and now we pretty much have a first date planned :P
Always if I'm interested I go after him. I know what I want and that's it. It works out very well for me. My partner and I now have been together 2years and it started out with me just saying I was interested and if he wanted to go get some chicken wings and beer. Ladies don't be afraid to make the first move, the worse that could happen is he says no.
I wish that I could have more guts to ask the guy out... I'd throw hints that I like him, but doubt I'd be so direct to say it right to his face/ask him.
Pity for me... However, I think if he REALLY were so/that interested, he probably would have asked anyway... soo... I guess, that's a no, I don't.
I don't know what you mean by "always ask the guy first". Many guys ask me out and I most of the times I haven't even thought of them like that.
I rarely like guys or even had crushes. The two guys I liked I asked out: went out with the first one but he only wanted to have fun... the second one I kinda already knew he wasn't immune to me (which helped a lot after the other experience) and we have been dating for almost a year now :)
I voted B but I'm not sure that's the right answer.
Only if he and I are friends. In my freshman year of high school, I asked out this guy I was crushing on (who later became my boyfriend) and got rejected. I stopped asking guys out after that : Now, I'm interested in my close friend, but since we're friends it's easy to casually ask to hang out and it's natural because he asks me too.
Im always too shy to ask a guy out, so I'd never do it. Plus in the back of my mind I think its like you're putting yourself down and are desperate for him. Also, I've been told the guy takes advantage of the girl if he knew she likes him... guess my high school mentality stayed with me for so long.
That's the thing. Right now I'm in a situation with this guy I know from high school. The thought of asking him out is really nerve racking, and I think he's shy. So that makes it hard and plus it's also hard because we haven't actually seen each other in over 2 years but we're friends on Facebook. I really don't know what to do
It doesn't end well if I ask them out. So far, 3 things have happened when I approach.
1. They flat out reject me on the spot.
2. They agree hesitantly and try to look past my looks but end up looking for other girls because they don't feel attracted to me.
3. They string me along, pretend to be interested, have sex with me and then ignore me.
#2 hurts the most because they try to look past my looks and get to know my personality but it in the end it still isn't enough.
Um no.
Have you seen a relationship that started with the girl asking the guy out?
Better question: a marriage? Didn't think so.
It's a small percentage if you have, but I don't want to risk that when I could potentially have someone who really wants me.
:\
Voted C by the way.
I asked out my Husband. We've been together for 13 years married for 9 :D
Errm... I have a problem with this part: "and you're pretty sure he's interested as well". No, I wouldn't ask him out in this case, because I don't understand why he won't make a move if "he is interested as well", why won't he go after what he wants?
So, yeah, I do ask out only when I'm not "pretty sure" guy likes me.
I personally have never asked a guy out. But I a pretty shy person, so I'm not a very good judge. I have hd friends that have asked out guys, though. But typically, the girl prefers to be asked out by the guy. Or girl, if that's what they're into haah.
Hell to the Never!
At least no initially
If he asked me out first I might ask for the second, third, etc... most I do is suggest but not legitimately ask like time, place
I don't mind asking for his number or even approaching introducing myself but I'm not gonna make the first real move. I won't kiss a guy first either- never tried probably never will
Yes, I ask men out. But I'm ugly and bad at it, so they've all rejected me lol But that isn't gonna stop me from keep trying!
First of all i don't need anyone's opinion to my opinion. To plan a date is guys job not girls, im not going to date a guy who i asked him out bc he's shy and insecure I don't know.. I don't need a shy guy anyways we girls like men who are strong and they caree to ask for a date im got going to play guys's role here+ most girls have high standards and prestige Only a man can fix that by him asking her out:)
I just got asked out actually, I would have ask her out but she told me she didn't want to start a relationship since she going to college far away next thing I know she kissing me a week later tell me she thinking about going to college near me. But then again life is strange.
I asked my current boyfriend on our first date. To be fair, he asked to make us official, but I like to think I took the initiative to start seeing each other lol
I've never asked or been ask. however i believe its not my place to ask the guy because if the guy is suppose to be the head of the household than they should have the confidence to take the risk and be the one to ask out. Yet at the same time Ruth from the book of Ruth seek out Boaz so even i wonder what my place is when it comes to this topic. but hey each to their own. not one person is right and not one person is wrong we just have our own views. i wish you the best with this question.
I'm not the type to wait around and I usually go for shy guys so I always approach first and ask them out. I asked out my boyfriend and that worked out for me obviously lol
I have no problems asking a guy out. I obviously prefer it if the guy asks me but I understand that in today's society men are often hesitant to approach women.
Even though I am very shy, I've asked all my crushes out, but then again, they either rejected or considered me a friend :/
I would prefer having the guy ask me out, but that doesn't really happen to me because of my appearance.
Like with online dating and stuff some people can be nervous and I don't necessarily call it a date but I'll ask them if they want to meet at Starbucks or want to go to a local diner so it takes the pressure off of him
I might, if i know for certain he would want that. Otherwise, i would probably just suggest a hangout, and leave it up to him whether or not to make that hangout a date (by flirting) or not. I definitely wouldn't start.
yeah if he is cute and your attracted why not see what happens? The worst that can happen is him saying no and if your secure enough with yourself to handle rejection then this should be simple.
While I prefer the guy ask me out, sometimes we have to do it. If he's shy or otherwise clueless to our interest.
I've never been asked out.. Yet been in a lot of relationships. I always done the asking. If I haven't, they most likely wouldn't of.
If I know he like me and I like him back I might wait for him to ask me. If it took so long for him and I had no patience at all I'll go and tell him but I prefer him asking me out first.
I'm shy so asking a guy out is impossible for me. The most I can do is smile and show some interest but usually I get so nervous I can't ask much.
I have told dudes I liked them first before, which is kinda like asking them out, but only because I had liked them for a long time and they didn't seem to be picking up on it.
I only ever in my life heard a woman say that she asked a guy out on this site. I've never heard a guy in real life ever say a woman asked him out. I asked If anyone on here knew where I could find such women but no one could even answer which leads me to believe that they are just saying they approached guys just to act like it does exist.
I pursued and asked out my now Husband :D. We've been together 13years, and married for 9 of those. Love of my life!!
I sometimes ask a guy out first. We might get to talking and I see how funny he is, I'll ask. Not necessarily because I'm sure he likes me.
I have only ever asked a guy out once before, but that was the only exception because I liked him enough. It's not usually something I would do however. I prefer that the guy does the asking.
I get wayyyy too nervous. I prefer the guy to ask me first, but I don't mind asking him to hang out or to see him another time.
wanna go out?
@BertMacklinFBI Going to come pick me up?
Pick you up and drop you off later tonight ;) Be there at 8 lol
@BertMacklinFBI Sweet. I have four hours to get ready. How should I dress? A girl needs to know how to dress. Haha. I don't think I've ever been kicked up at 8. First time for everything.
oooh dress for adventure! we're gonna eat a somewhat nutritional/healthy yet tasty meal.. and then head right on into the funtivities!
@BertMacklinFBI Oooh, sounds exciting. I've never gone out with a younger guy before. Haha.
I've never gone out with a slightly older woman before. But I've been waiting for this moment my entire life :P
@BertMacklinFBI I love parks and recreation lmfao
@BertMacklinFBI We older women are pretty darn awesome. Once you go that way, you'll never want to go younger. Just something about us.
I have my ways of getting them to ask me out, even though I initially approach them.
I usually NEVER ask the guy out, but made this mistake recently, and was rejected. It sucks, and the whole experience makes me empathize with men more.
other: I have asked guys out first, without knowing for sure.. I think you have to ask them out to actually find out ;)
I ask the guy out first if, 1. I'm pretty sure he likes me, and 2. He doesn't seem to realize that I like him.
If he seems to know I like him but he hasn't asked me out, then I'm going to assume he doesn't like me or doesn't want to go out with me.
No and I don't think they ever will, not for me anyways. I don't feel comfortable being an ass, like I've noticed some women enjoy being around. Seems like too much work
Yes, I ask guys out all the time. I wish more women would do so.
I have, he canceled and I haven't heard from him since then. Other than that I have asked guys to hang out.. didn't work.. they didn't like me
I asked him out, but I don't know if he likes me. Im just a gal too.
Last time I asked a guy out I was like in 8th grade or a freshman in high school.
I ask guys out. I'm a shy and blushing mess, but i do it. If i know what i want I'm going to to for it. I invited my crush to come over today (for our first hang out) and I've asked boys in the past :)
No. No, I do not. Maybe someday. If someone seems that interesting to me.
Well, I am sure nowadays women also ask men out if they are interested.
@orphan.
Zero (0) but then I have also never asked a woman out on a date, I have never dated in my lifetime and I have decided never to date either, I have decided to stay single till death, so I don't really care if women ask me out or not. I don't really care what happens.
That was just a small info.
Anyways I am not talking about me here, my case is entirely different, It wouldn't be right of you to base your point on my case, we are talking about men in general. I do know for sure that women also ask men out nowadays, I am not talking about the percentage (%) here, what is the percentage, whether it is more than more than what it was 20 years ago or not, that is not the subject.
I just said I am sure that women ask men out nowadays and that the traditional roles are slowly fading. I know this for sure.
If I like him and I want to go out, then I'll ask him.
It's pretty common here.
I've done it in the past, if I liked the guy and wanted to hang out with him.
my experience no but they will surely drop you hints
I've only experienced that girls have to ask guys out
Guys don't like me so I always do the asking out. I've been rejected by every guy I've ever asked out and not one guy has ever approached me. Life is great, right?
Girls like to be chased, so generally prefer the guy ask them out. Girls take rejection probably harder than guys do, reason why it happens less often.
Yea , that's definitely not true... A lot of guys have never talked to a girl for fear of rejection... And if your already a man in a competition with all the other guys in the bar, AND you have low self esteem... Another rejection is only going to make that worst... And from a crush? Oh god... I'd rather keep my mouth shut and just forget I ever liked her than face her rejecting me... I've neglected my friends for 3-6months after being rejected by my crush before... So yea... We take it pretty damn hard sometimes... It's different when we are at a party or a bar.. But a girl that actually matters to us?
I've only asked one guy out before. It led to a quite amazing friendship 😂
I asked my fiance out 4 years ago. I was so bad at it that I told him to tell me no. He said yes anyway and we're getting married next month!
Im really bad with signals. I might think he's into me but he might just be friendly sooo,..
I've asked guys out without being sure. Been shot down but it's a risk I continue to take
90% of the time I have to.
I would have to be sure the guy likes me in order to ask him out.
I have before and he agreed. But it never exceeded the first date. So it doesn't work anymore than a guy asking the girl out first either. 😕
If I like a guy enough and he hasn't asked me, I'll ask him out
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