Would girls be more attracted to guys who have trust issues from bad experiences with girls?

[mrsingle]

In the past I've had my trust broken by many girls, some things I had done were nasty and some not a big deal.

Now when I try to talk to girls, I'm always nervous and on guard because even if they said they like me, I assume they are waiting for me to let my guard down and trick me into thinking they like me but they don't and it's a setup. I've put my heart out and had it crushed over and over.
It's not even dating just friends or girls I liked.

I think this really affects me trying to get a girlfriend as it lowers confidence and puts me on guard with everything girls do interacting with me.
Are there girls out there that would actually find me more desirable dating as I know what it's like to be conned and taken advantage of. I'm bad at approaching girls and if girls knew why they would see why them approaching me is easier for me hoping by now most are genuinely interested in me.

Updates

+1 y

Bump

[Rufus335]

DNA Is pretty much the same for everyone and due to evolution no I don't think any girl is going to find that desirable however I'm sure there are girl would would tolerate it.

My personal opinion is that your guard shield ur putting up makes you seem more stand off ish than insecure. It seems like you have a negative view of women. Thy taking advantage of a few girls and tricking them way they trick you ( by the way it's usually not a trick it's that they're playing you ) and see how it feels, I'm telling you now it feels damn good. The dif between the trick and the play is that the trick was mean to fool you the play was meant to beat you. You were beaten by these girls plain and simple. They don't have the time to mind fuck you, they genuinely considered dating you but something happened and they went another direction. They kept you on the side as a safety valve or a potential partner. Just cuz they didn't go with you doesn't mean you suck it just means the picked a better guy. Probably a guy who is doing the same thing they did to you to them ( if that makes sense ) You probably are saying well how the fuck do I start playing girls myself.

Take 3 months and only work on positive things for yourself. Put girls on the back burner. Don't look don't talk just avoid and don't think about them or how your not getting laid. Think about all the pussy ur gunna slay when you come out of your confidence coma. Once you emerge as a brand new person your gunna have all sorts of new confidence.

You might be able to achieve this In a couple weeks or less if you have a good base but I took a solid 6 months seriously. Don't blow your confidence load on the first chick you talk to. If she turns you down fuck it there's another. Talk to every girl u possibly can but wait why are you not asking them out? Because your not ready yet. Unfortunately ur gunna collapse of you ask a bunch of girls out and get shut down. Your gunna be anxious. Just wait and practice the little things to continue growing your confidence. I'm not kidding a platonic conversation with a hot girl is soooo good for your confidence. Your gonna walk away without asking her out and say to yourself no I didn't fail to ask her out, I succeeded in making myself mysterious attractive and confident to her. The reason you can do this is that you tell yourself Im not going to ask her out thus why should you be nervous just talking to her.

With online dating just try to avoid any "get to know you talk"

[mrsingle]

I don't understand what you wrote about the trick and the play? Why pretend to like me when they didn't, or is it they were testing me? If so, what did I do to fail? I never had a male figure guide me to know when a girl likes me.
Also,
I had a rape kind of attack on me by two girls it happened in high school and classmates witnessed it and did nothing. I didn't press charges because at the time rumors spread I was gay and I felt if I said I didn't like it people would think I was gay. I did have classes changed not to be near these girls and nothing happened again. But I went through school never able to date and I'm trying to fix that now years later but it has been hard

[mrsingle]

And how do I take advantage of girls, I've never gotten anything from them to take advantage of?

[Rufus335]

The trick play thing is you should be playing the field. Not commiting and getting hung up on one girl. This takes some confidence. You will not know if a girl really like you or is commited to you. you have to assume she always is by just being confident. you have to find that inside yourself. tricking is when you deliberately are just trying to get laid and acting like a nice guy to get there. Just be playful or play the girl by treating her like a normal human being. I reccomend doing this to several girls at once hence taking advantage of them. What i mean by advantage is you are gaining the upper hand by having multiple options to go to. You can't seem needy if you have more options than she does.
like i said the confidence has to come from you.

with the rape, im sorry dude but I have no experience with that and would be wrong totry and guide you on that.

[mrsingle]

Thanks for explaining that, now I see what I gotta do!

[mrsingle]

Not trying to dwell on the past, but at one point in high school a girl said she liked nerds and was talking to me, she was into anime back when dragon ball z and Pokemon were the in thing. I never believed she liked me even though guys said she did. I was torn because of all the bad things I had trouble trusting and to this day I don't know if she was serious or not about what she said. Now she's a porn star...

[Rufus335]

really who is she haha.

listen man you really seem to have some anxiety and insecurities. i dont want to sound mean or like a dick but nows the time to pull up your pants and get out of the rough.

read the books by tucker max. he will put you in a great mindset. spend some time to youself doing only positive things. No video games, go for hikes, the gym, I don't know fucking roller blading or lazer tag. just work on you, try new things

[mrsingle]

, shitty people live around here and that's part of the problem, and it doesn't matter how much fun I've had alone, and believe me I've done plenty to make myself happy, eventually I got bored doing everything alone and realized being alone isn't what I want in life. Therapists can't break me out of how I feel, crazy shit happens and I've had more of that happen to me throughout life than anyone can imagine so it makes sense why I'm so anxious and depressed and in a hole. My family digs my hole deeper for me! I'm surrounded by negative people all the time, literally ALL day! Is it too much to ask to find one person who will show me the positive side in life and bring me up instead of putting me down. Not to mention a reason to get out of the house away from everyone.

[mrsingle]

If people hold my insecurities against me and can't accept who I am, I don't need them. So far everyone I know I don't need as you can probably figure, they don't accept me.

[Rufus335]

if someones being negative and you walk away that positive. you have to just keep trying. if you fail or give up thats negative

[mrsingle]

I'll keep walking away from the negative, with the goal of finding the positive. 🙂

[luvstoned4him]

I am not sure a guy with extra baggage is ever a good thing. However, if I see some potential in him and he is willing to move forward with me, I will take it step by step and I will help him to overcome whatever problems that he may be facing.

[mrsingle]

For me this wasn't done by girlfriends, just girls I knew or thought were friends. I'm not sure that counts a baggage, and I thought mature girls would be understanding of my situation.

[luvstoned4him]

@Asker oh yes, baggage is baggage. Some awful girl-friends they were. I dont know why people toy with the emotions of others.. Dont they know, karma is a B!

[mrsingle]

There was also rape-ish action involved, it became violent to me. So you see why I need a girl who is very understanding and I can trust in my life.

[luvstoned4him]

@Asker, OMG, they did that to you? You should be pressing charges. Thats messed up man. How could a woman do that? :o

[mrsingle]

It happened in high school and classmates witnessed it and did nothing. I didn't press charges because at the time rumors spread I was gay and I felt if I said I didn't like it people would think I was gay. I did have classes changed not to be near these girls and nothing happened again. But I went through school never able to date and I'm trying to fix that now years later but it has been hard.

[luvstoned4him]

@Asker, I am so sorry this happened to you. Life can be cruel. So have you taken therapy or talked to someone about it?

[mrsingle]

I've talked to a therapist. The trouble is having nobody else to tell, and explaining why I'm shy or anxious due to all the shit I went through in school that made me feel like this. Girls see a low confidence, shy guy. They don't care to get to know me and understand why I'm like that. All girls aren't bad, but if they don't give me a chance at dating they will never know the true me and good guy I am and that I can be fun when I'm comfortable around someone.

[luvstoned4him]

@Asker, if a guy told me a story like that , I can never think he has low self esteem etc but more like he is a bit traumatized. While some people refuse to date people with problems as they see them as a liability, I will get to know the person more and see how I may help them.

[mrsingle]

There should be more girls like you ❤️

[luvstoned4him]

aww shawks, thanks :)

[luvstoned4him]

thanks for the MHO :)

[mrsingle]

Your welcome!

[Kolieges]

I would be, I think we all be there too...

[mrsingle]

The reason I ask why girls might be drawn more to guys like that. Usually girls more often get "played" or "used" by guys. But when the tables have been turned on a guy by a girl it changes how they perceive women and even an outlook on respect. I am more inclined to treat a woman better seeing the flip side of the wrong way being treated and I did not like it! Nobody should go through that but I know many do. The question is how to let a girl know, it's not like every girl I run into knows I had that happen.