I have been dating my boyfriend for a while now and we love eachother very much. When we started dating I told him that there are 3 things that are deal breakers, lying, cheating and drug use. I have no issues with pot but hard drugs like cocaine are off the table. He agreed with me that he would never do them and hasn't touched drugs since the end of November.
In order to keep our relationship healthy we make sure that we spend at least one night apart a week, which he jokingly calls singles night. I have never once had an issue with it, I dont call or text unless he does and leave him be. This past Friday he had his night alone with his roomates. Which I assumed just involved drinking and listening to music as usual. He planned a whole day of surprise date the following day for me. I was told to come over at 11 am the next morning. When I talked to him on the phone I discovered that no one had slept. Which was my first tip off, as his roomate falls asleep usually at like 2 am and never stays up later than that. I flat out said, why was he up so late was he doing coke, answer was " i don't know". My boyfriend was a total mess that day, still took me out but was super hung over and we did our thing came home and then he went to bed at 8 pm. The next day we went ice fishing with my dad. While this was going on, he was getting texts from a known drug dealer asking him if he needed anything. We went to dinner after and on the way home I asked, if you were to do drugs again, you'd tell me, right? And he said yes, of course. Finally when we got home I confronted him and he admited that he preplanned his singles night around buying coke and doing it. I am hurt because he lied to my face 3 times about it. If he would have told me the next morning I would have said it's ok, we all make mistakes. I feel as though I can't trust him and I have no clue how to get that back. I don't want to leave, I love him. He disrespected me and did one of the things he knew would break
Most Helpful Guy
Of course he cares about you, he only lied because he knew you would be upset about it, I'd talk to him about it and ask him how often he does it. If that's the first time, ask him why he felt the need to use. Don't start yelling at him about it because it will NOT work. I highly doubt he's an addict.1
Most Helpful Girl
Like you said, this is different than smoking weed. He's doing cocaine. And he's lying about it, which lets me know his addiction has already progressed to the point where he's ashamed of it and knows it's wrong, but he can't stop himself from doing it.
For me, this goes past simply him lying and it being a bump in the road with your relationship. He's involved in a very serious lifestyle. I'd get out while he's still only a boyfriend. He could be your husband and then this gets much worse.0