What are signs that somebody is emotionally unavailable?

[Anonymous]

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[Heythere2013]

I dealt w/a guy who claimed to be ready to start over, then told me he was confused and not over his ex. If a person says anything about still having difficulty w/a break up I would avoid at all costs. He started w/drawing from and something in my gut told me there was something very off despite him telling me that I cared. His texting was sporadic and towards the end of us dating, it was close to non existent on his part.

[Asker]

I'm really sorry to hear that, and the guy I'm wondering about is really similar. Did you ever wonder if he just wasn't into you enough, or do you believe it was more about him and stuff he needed to deal with first?

[Heythere2013]

A little bit of both prob, I actually don't know the real reason because I have a feeling everything he told me was utter bs. The way I see it, unemotionally unavailable/not interested yields the same results. I will never wait for someone who is not emotionally available.

[Asker]

What did he tell you that you think was bs?

[Heythere2013]

That he needed to get his life together, needed time alone etc. Except he did have alone time as we were long distance anyways.

[Streamhopper]

The other two replies did a good job of explaining it; basically just what they said. They pull away, won't contact you for days at a time, and in general they're tough to be with. It's not that they can't love someone - it's just that they aren't ready to just yet. How long it takes varies by the person. For some it's weeks, some months, some years. It also depends on what caused it in the first place.

[anonman32]

they push you away and show no emotions, they are not interested in you, there's other stuff going on in their lives at the moment.

[reptocarl]

They act detached