You thinks girl usually comeback?
In my experience, they always do. There's been no exceptions. But the reason they rationalized to themselves why they come back around changes. Depends on how they feel towards you and the previous relationship. I'm not suggesting they always come back to get back together. But the fact they comeback usually means there is still that possibility to them down the road, even if it looks very unlikely.
Thing is... whether they comeback or not doesn't really matter. You still have to move on. Moving on is part of the reason they comeback. They see that old guy they fell in love with. The guy that wasn't sad, mad, hurt, needy or jealous. But a guy that was happy, passionate, who had dreams and girls liked being around. Anytime an old ex came around it was always when I was 100% okay with myself and my life. Usually, while I was seeing other women or had a new girlfriend. Even if they had a boyfriend.
Wow very well put. Thanks for the very wise words.
Now you don't talk at all? Right?
Do you think guys usually tend to always comeback around to an ex in most cases compared to women? Or maybe do you think it's the other way around?
I think it's more common for girls. Because girls tend to change their minds often. From my experience, once a guy puts his mind on something it's usually gonna stay that way. None of exes ever came back around.
About how long would you wait before reaching out to an ex after the break up?
To get back together? Never.
would you be open to getting back with him?
How did you find out he cheated?
We got together after high school and later to different universities in different cities. We'd call, email, text whenever we can and one day when I called him, a girl picked up his cell phone and told me he wasn't there, which wasn't true cos I heard his voice asking her, "who's calling?" and then they said something to each other, I don't know what it was cos i couldn't hear clearly and then they started laughing. She then got back on the phone and I said, "I know he's there cos I heard his voice", to which she said, "he doesn't wanna talk to you", and then I just hung up. I was devastated as I was trying to digest what happened. I felt humiliated too as I felt I was being played the fool. I was hurt for a very long time and didn't hear from him at all for a whole month until he tried calling me one fine day (I wasn't by my phone so i missed the calls) and then he messaged me saying he was trying to call me but I didn't pick up.
I was still very hurt but decided that I didn't really wanna talk to him anymore or have much (or, anything) to do with him anymore.When I started to move on a bit, I agreed to remain friends with him but after a few years, I just quietly cut all connections with him on my end by slowly letting things fade out.
So definitely something you would not go back to due to bad experiences?
Do you think he trying to get back and would you be open to it?
He specifically told me he contacted me just because he wanted to have sex with me. If he was however trying to get me back, yeah of course I'd say yes
How long were y'all together?
Ok. Do you think it's hard for women to reach back out to an ex whereas guys do it all the time? Like is that common for women to text ex's?
Some would, some wouldn't. It depends on the person but I do it a lot
about how much time do you let go by after the break up to reach out? And is it to maybe try to start over again or what?
A few months usually, just to see how they're doing or maybe I miss them
Thanks for the mho 💜
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How do you feel about returning to ex's?
Once they become an ex I close the door on them forever, if I break up w/someone I always have a good reason too. If I care about someone I will try my hardest to solve the problem, break ups are my last resort.
So will you just not reach out to them because you can't or what? Isn't it common for girls to start talking to their ex again?
Ok, so you would never return to an ex?
AT this point in my life no. I have had a very on off relationship with an ex before before I came to the above realization then I stopped and it was hard because he hadn't gotten there at the time but 14years later and we are still friends.
Do you think girls tend to comeback more to an ex or guys?
I'd say it's pretty even. I do know far too more guys who tend to have "ones who got away" or ex's they put on a pedestal because they weren't ready for them when they were together and by the time they are the girl has moved on but that could just be people I know.
Would you give him another shot?
No, he has asked that like 2 months ago when I seen him in Walmart but I said no because I was on my way to a date.
Does blowing up your phone and bothering you seem to push you away further? And speaking for girls in general, should you just give them that space without pestering them?
Yes it did push me and the things he was saying. For example he said I was the only girl he cried over (which is a lie). That's he won't find anyone else (a week later he did). That he would be fucked up everyday (drinking and drugs) without me. It really depends on the feelings and what the reason for the breakup but I would definitely give them some space.
What about a girl who said she is unhappy with the relationship, but really she is not happy with herself. She says I'm the best boyfriend she has ever had.
I would just give her some time.
Have you ever heard of that happening?
Me, not in the relationship mentioned
Oh I just was talking about in general. I've been giving her the space we haven't talked in awhile
Would you be open to trying again after those 6 months passed? Do y'all still talk?
No definitely not. I was so hurt after that break up I don't think I could ever put myself in a position where that could potentially happen again. And I'm very happy with someone else right now so definitely no. We do still talk but only because we have the same lectures in college. Outside of that, there's no speaking.
That's good. What do you mean college broke you up? If you don't mind explaining?
He just had too much work going on in his course in college. He's literally married to his course and just didn't have time to maintain a serious relationship on top of it all.
Oh ok. So would you be against going back to any ex's? Like future or present ones.. let's just say if you weren't happy with someone else?
Looking back on all my past ex's, I'd never get back with them. My second-last ex there was just no spark so I'm quite happy to not see him again. My ex after that turned out to be a complete d*ckhead so I'm glad I'm rid of him. If my boyfriend and I were to break up now, it would be because of distance so I'd have no problem getting back with him once the distance issue is resolved.
How was there no spark you say? What was going on?
If you weren't married and you saw changes in him do you think you would give it another try down the road maybe?
I'm not sure actually. I don't think I was very good for him, and the fact he still keeps checking in isn't healthy when it's been so long. I'd be really worried that I'd try again and in however long find out he hadn't changed enough and then hurt him all over again when really he hadn't done anything wrong I just wanted something different
Do girls tend to break up with guys because they want something different? And then realize later what they had was just fine? you think that happens often? And why?
I don't know sorry. That didn't happen in my situation, I have no regrets breaking up with him
is it usual for girls to text an ex first? Did you just not feel like reaching out? And would you try again with him or no?
I didn't feel like reaching out, and I didn't think he wanted to hear from me.I considered it shortly but he's just not my type, one of the reasons it didn't work well in the beginning. He's become a good friend though.
So he broke up with you?
Why didn't he want to fix things between you guys?
No idea. I think his mum was the one who kept him in line so to speak, and when she was no longer around he had no excuse.
About how much time would you let go by before reaching out to an ex after a break up?
I personally never have. Both of my exes broke me and I don't see why I should even have them in my life. But that's just me.
What do you mean he stopped feeling the same way?
He didn't care about the relationship anymore, I had to run from one town to another (literally) to see him but he wouldn't do shit. I had payphone so we could talk everyday but he barely sent me a message during the day. He would do plans but would not include me on them. He had trouble finding even a gift for Christmas, or give a chocolate he found and that's it with no letter nothing, he would only have sex with me but only until he cum, he didn't even cared about what I wanted anymore... I was more like a burden for him... so yeah, it took me a while in order to realize he didn't love me anymore, it was difficult because he insisted in saying he loved me and that I was his best friend too...The only thing he felt was a strong physical attraction towards me (he was easily turned on by me and he really liked me), but he was full of shit, so when I got really tired of all that, and asked him to tell me he didn't love me anymore for my sake, that I knew it was true. So he accepted it.
Now y'all don't talk anymore? Would you go back if you saw a positive change?
No. I say him the last time as a coincidence in a hospital, we just exchange a few words and that's it, I notice he stared at me a lot haha. And no, I wouldn't go back, never. It was a 3 year relationship, but when I cut things off, I really do, it's been 5 years already since our break up, and I don't even care him as a friend, I'm better off without him...
And you wouldn't go back due to the bad experience right? And also you wouldn't be open to going back to any ex in general?
Speaking about your future and present ex's
I don't like going back, regardless the bad experience, I feel like there is no point, I wouldn't go back with any of my ex's, that's the reason why they're called ex's, it's past...
Ok but you definitely would give it another chance?
Haha why do you say that?
oh forgot to answer the other part of the question. I broke up with him 2 months ago
broke up because I was frustrated with him not wanting to share intimate feelings.
Haven't heard from him in to months so far? You think he contact you? It hasn't been that long
I saw him on a dating site already. so... probably not.
And you wouldn't reach out to him?
should I? he was was angry when we broke up and cut me off all social media immediately. so I'm not going to contact him. he burned the bridge.
who do you think tends to reach out to an ex first... the guy or the girl?
whoever got dumped.