How long did it take your ex to call you?

one of the most frequently asked questions after a breakup, let's get some answers from personal experiences as everyone has gone through them

in my opinion any "breakup" where you get back together in less than one month is not really a breakup, just a fight

1.were you the dumper or dumpee?

2.who contacted who first?

3.how long were you in a relationship for?

4.what was the reason for the breakup? in your opinion

5.when they contacted you was it to get back together or just see how you were?

6. If they wanted to get back together, did you already move on by the time they contacted you?

7. If you did get back together, how long did it last?



lol imo I think that a breakup occurs when the relationship is broken beyond repair. from personal experiences once a real breakup happens even if you get back together, it doesn't last too long. id say anywhere from a few weeks to a few months tops

feel free to describe as many past relationships as you want
  • 1-2 months
    Vote A
  • 3-5 months
    Vote B
  • 6 months - year
    Vote C
  • 1 year+
    Vote D
  • Never
    Vote E
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
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Updates:
let me add


#8: how long did it take for the ex to contact you



a lot of people are submitting answers to the poll which is great but it makes me wonder if they just wanted to view the results, I shuda added an option to view the results lol


so just also add #8 if you get the chance... good looks

here is an updated version of this question


link

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I've only been in one relationship where we actually broke up and got back together. I disagree about the whole 'one month rule', as far as that not constituting a real break up. If you break up, then you break up, doesn't matter if you get back together one day later or one year later. I do have two relationships for examples though.

    #1. I was the dumper

    #2. I contacted him, the very next day

    #3. We were together for 2 years pre breakup, and then one more year post breakup

    #4. He was never going to treat me right if I stayed, it took me leaving for him to truly see the error of his ways

    #5. When I contacted him, it was to get back together

    #6. It was the very next day when I contacted him, so no, obviously neither of us had moved on.

    #7. It lasted for one more year after we got back together.

    Relationship number 2:

    #1. I was the dumpee

    #2. I contacted him first, and he completely ignored me.

    #3. We were together for btwn 5-6 months

    #4. He had been distant and I made the mistake of sort of freaking out on him, asking him if I was a rebound. Yea, he didn't like that. (Turns out I was right though)

    #5. When he DID finally contact me, about 2-3 months later, yes, it was to get back together.

    #6. I had already moved on (to the guy I am now engaged to)

    #7. No, we did not get back together. I had already started seeing someone else and it was really nice to tell him NO. I told him that I had really liked him, and that I had tried and got sick of trying. Kind of like, too little too late bucko, sorry bout your luck! He ended up going back to the ex and she was pregnant within 2 months of when he had contacted me. Things definitely worked out for the better. Even though, at the time of the break up, I thought I REALLY wanted him, he's not even close to as good of a guy for me, as my current beau is. Hence the expression, 'They're an ex for a reason.'

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 19

  • 1.were you the dumper or dumpee?

    Mutual but I was the initiator

    2.who contacted who first?

    Neither-ish we stayed in close contact, we were best friends before we dated. but there were a few months we didn't really talk much because I was trying to move on and see someone else, but when I broke that off it was because I wanted to be back with him and I contacted him first.

    3.how long were you in a relationship for?4.5 years

    4.what was the reason for the breakup? in your opinion

    We both needed space to grow up a bit, we spent all of our teenaged years in and out of a relationship with each other breaking up after several months because we realized we were still too chilish, so after a year of university we decided that we honestly needed to be apart because neither of us knew what it was like to be single.

    5.when they contacted you was it to get back together or just see how you were?

    I think we stayed in contact to make sure the other was doing OK, when we did break all ties for a few months I contacted him to get back together

    6. If they wanted to get back together, did you already move on by the time they contacted you?

    I was trying to, but realized that when the opportunity arose I didn't really WANT to

    7. If you did get back together, how long did it last?

    still going, it's been 4 months so far, and things are actually going better than they ever have

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  • 1.were you the dumper or dumpee?

    Dumper

    2.who contacted who first?

    My ex contacted me. About 2 years after we broke up.

    3.how long were you in a relationship for?

    A light "courtship-like" relationship for 3-4 months, but he was trying to make it too serious, and I didn't feel it for him but he looked good on pencil and paper, so I was forcing myself to stay with him and hope for the feelings to come.

    4.what was the reason for the breakup? in your opinion

    My lack of feelings, his clinginess, his crazy, controlling parents, his Madonna/harlot views, his "Nice Guy" act and passive-aggressive jabs about my body, face without makeup, etc. My muscles ached around him and I was so stressed and unhappy around him. I just wanted it to be over.

    5.when they contacted you was it to get back together or just see how you were?

    He tried to get back together. It was really creepy and I wanted no parts. I told him I would be friends and help him get more friends, even try helping him meet girls, and he totally didn't listen to what I said, and spent an entire creepy lunch meeting trying to convince me to get back together.

    6. If they wanted to get back together, did you already move on by the time they contacted you?

    Yes, I never ever wanted to get back together. I was telling him all these things about me to turn him off and he was like "oh that's okay" even though we were so obviously not compatible and I said "let's be friends ONLY." And he apologized for everything except being racist (which I HATED about him so much). He creeped me out and disrespected me, so I decided we didn't get to be friends (aka him pretending to be my friend until I finally gave in and started dating again) and he blew it.

    7. If you did get back together, how long did it last?

    Haha neverrrr.

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  • 6-7 Months?

    1.Dumper

    2.He did.

    3.4 Months.

    4.We used to fight all the time, he was pressuring me and we had different opinions on plenty of stuff.

    5.To get back together. I wrote him off.

    6.Yes.

    7.We didn't.

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  • Hmm generally I have a no backsies rule with breakups, and in both instances where I've been dumped and the dumpee all communications ceased.

    Except for my current boyfriend... who, after two weeks of me bugging him, took all of one week of no-contact to text me again. So I guess excluding your "just a fight" breakup, my answer would be never. But I've also never been in love or really serious before in my failed relationships, so I guess I can't speak for future relationships.

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  • 1. I was

    2. He contacted me

    3. 4 years

    4. We were dealing with a significant loss in our lives and I just pushed him away.

    5. Just to see how I was at first and the second contact he wanted to get back together.

    6. No I hadn't moved on

    7. Yes we got back together and we are getting married May 25th

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  • No ex has ever called me on the phone but if Facebook messages count it happened once.

    We started talking two years after breaking up.

    1) Dumpee

    2) Him. I wouldn't have given him the satisfaction.

    3) 7 months

    4) He cheated and wanted to be with the other girl.

    5) To be friends again.

    6) I was moved on and so was he.

    7) Hell no fly me into the sun first. But we are friends now.

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  • 1-dumper
    2- a year
    3 - it took me a month
    4 - long distance
    4 - wish a happy birthday
    5 - no he didn't yet since he tried to approach me
    7- didn't get back
    8- I wished him a happy 19th birthday and we talked for a week and then I initiated No contact again..

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  • Well no he "dumped" me, more like ignored me

    He contacted me recently after 6 months

    we dated on and off 3 years..never oficiall

    he ignored me and than 4 weeks got in a rel with a old friend of his

    he wanted to see how I was doing and said I really want you as my friend

    ive moved on, he is a douch bag

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  • 1. dumper

    2. he contacted me

    3. 7 years

    4. different long-term plans/lifestyle

    5. to talk with the intention in the long-run of getting back together

    6. yes, by far

    7. no intentions of getting back together

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  • I don't have any ex. My boyfriend is my first in everything and it's been 4 years since we are together. :)

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  • I'm not answering all the questions but I left him and didn't contact him for 6 yrs, we are friends for now...

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  • 1. Dumper

    2. He tried contacting me desperately for about a month, but I didn't and don't want to be with him again.

    3. Initially, almost a year. (a little over 11 months)

    4. He was borderline verbally and sexually abusive. He was neglectful. We were incompatible. I fell out of love with him.

    5. To get back together with me. So many voice mails...

    6. Yes. I moved on very quickly because it had been in my head for months that I wanted to end things.

    7. We didn't, thank the heavens.

    I agree that if a breakup is shorter than a month, it wasn't a legitimate break up. And I agree that if a break up does happen and you get back together, the real end is inevitable.

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    • 8.) He contacted me ither the night of the break up or the night after.. Call after call.. sappy voice mail after sappy voice mail.. I felt bad for him cause I was his first long term relationship..but he had done a lot wrong and never fixed it no matter how many times I brought the problems to his attention.



  • 1.were you the dumper or dumpee? DUMPEE

    2.who contacted who first? He contacted me first after 6 months

    3.how long were you in a relationship for? 6 months

    4.what was the reason for the breakup? in your opinion He was dumb he didn't like the fact that I was upset he went MIA alot.

    5.when they contacted you was it to get back together or just see how you were? to get back together...in fact because I answered the phone he ASSUMED we were getting back together

    6. If they wanted to get back together, did you already move on by the time they contacted you? Yes

    7. If you did get back together, how long did it last? we didn't get back together.

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  • 1. dumpee
    2. 2 years
    3. less than a month
    4. Long distance
    5. check up
    6. not yet still too soon
    7. never got back
    8. the dumper initiated the contact first and we kept contact for a while then I've gone back to the no contact rule

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  • 1. Dumper
    2. 2 years and a lot of break ups.
    3. one day or one week, one month/ 2 months at his longest.
    4. Miscommunications, not agreeing in the same things (culture differences).
    5. The 'missing' feeling, so used of being around him, as if you miss your best friend.
    6. No he didn't
    7. Not long 2 months maybe, break up, back, break up. horrible... :P

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  • 1.were you the dumper or dumpee? I was the dumper

    2.who contacted who first? He contacted me first about two weeks later

    3.how long were you in a relationship for? about 6 months

    4.what was the reason for the breakup? ...cheating/dishonesty...he lost my trust

    5.when they contacted you was it to get back together or just see how you were? not sure, he contacted me about 2 or 3 weeks after the break up with the excuse that he wanted to pay me back for some money I had lend him...the weird part was that when I saw him 3 weeks after the break up he told me he wanted to talk to me and that he would contact me some other time but never did.

    6. If they wanted to get back together, did you already move on by the time they contacted you? doesn't apply to me

    7. If you did get back together, how long did it last? that didn't happen

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  • Relationship A was complicated. At one point we were half lovers, later we were friends. Relationship B was typical.

    A:

    1. Dumper for both

    2. Always contacted me first, asking for me back without really asking, and I took them back again and again.

    3. On and off for ~3 years,

    4. They treated me like s***,

    5. I don't know what they wanted each time they came back. Not even now, years later. I never got a straight answer.

    6. Like I said, we were on and off for 3 years because when I was stupidly in love even when we were just friends

    7. Each time lasted maybe one week to 2 months. Depending on long before they started treating me like s***. Always sweet and complacent at first, then gradually the horns would come out.

    B:

    1. Dumper

    2. Contacted me first. One time.

    3. ~1 year

    4. They cheated

    5. Wanted to be friends again.

    6. I didn't even recognised their number at first plus it was like 3am. I didn't have or want friends, so I flat out refused.

    You know, what the hell is up with exes texting or calling in the wee morning hours?

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    • Oops. A1. is supposed to just say "Dumper." I reformatted it before.

  • 3 months

    1. Dumpee

    2. He contacted me

    4. A year

    5. To get back together

    6. Yes I had, but I had just broken up with the guy that day.

    7. It's been on and off for 6 months now..

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  • 1. I was the dumper who felt like she was the dumpee...if that makes sense.

    2. He contacted me.

    3. We had been in an on again off again relationship for about three years prior to that incident

    4. Immaturity

    5. It was to see if he could contact me. He couldn't. I had blocked his number from my phone. It showed up as a restricted caller. I questioned him about it later. When he contacted me again (the 90 day ban on his number had been lifted), it was to see how I was. Our conversation was platonic for about 30 minutes. Then it was working through all the emotions we had tied to the break up.

    6. I was very confused when he contacted me. I thought I was over it and ready to move on. I'd even been on a date with a guy, but the feelings came back immediately. So no, I had not moved on.

    7. We did end up getting back together on October 1, 2011. We're still together so I'll let you know.

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    • 8. Three months

What Guys Said 7

  • She would probably be considered an unfinished story as we were never official, but it still probably counts.

    1. Dumpee (or the closest thing)
    2. 7 dating months
    3. She didn't contact
    4. She didn't want a relationship
    5. -
    6. -
    7. Haven't gotten back together, probably never will
    8. I sent her a Facebook message 3 months after to which she responded and apologized for how the whole thing went down. We're sort of off-friends now, able to talk about some things but not really a lot more than that.

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  • All I have to say is f*ck that bitch

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  • 1-2 months. Even though she treated me like crap, she wanted me back. She was a sociopath smh.

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  • 1. Dumper
    2. 3 months
    3. Never
    4. Lose interest
    5. No contact
    6. No contact
    7. Never got back

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  • Why would you call your ex after breaking up?

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  • I was dumpee the first time, never called...

    I was dumpee to someone else after, never called...

    F relationships and F females.

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  • 1. Dumper

    2. Her

    3. 3 months

    4. Nagger

    5. See how I was doing

    6. I move on always.

    7. I don't get back with my ex.

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