Does this mean he never cared about me?

Dating

So I had been hooking up with this guy and he told me many of times that he liked me, however he never verbalized any commitment on his part, so we were basically fuck buddies. I would bring him food, go over there for sex literally whenever he wanted, and we would have what I call little "pseudo-dates" meaning sometimes we would watch a movie together and order a pizza, but I wanted a real relationship, as I definitely cared for him. Then one day (don't bash on me!) I told him that I was talking to another guy and that I shouldn't sleep with him anymore out of respect for the other guy, basically trying to gauge his level of care for me, (I know it's wrong and dumb, but we've all done stupid things). He then replied "Ok.. Good luck.. and thanks for the info" I was like "sorry" and he's like "There's no need to be sorry". Does that mean he doesn't care or did he do that just to save face?

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Does this mean he never cared about me?
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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think he kinda feels a bit betrayed and I think he actually had actual feelings and might have been planning to make a move. But your move on another guy was kinda a huge giant C**k Block move. And you saying you two couldnt sleep together kinda just sealed the deal. I mean if I were him I'd be burning the pics we had together and just getting ready to fully move on as its easy to forget and forgive. Rather than remember. I mean I bet he has a huge amount of respect but dont be surprised if he one day just drops of your radar. Out of respect of you moving on.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • You never set expectations, so why would he say anything other than "ok. Good luck." Maybe you hurt his feelings maybe you didn't, you'll never know. Next time if you want a relationship tell the guy. The worst he can say is he doesn't. It might not be what you want to hear but at least you'll know. On the other hand he might want the same thing. But don't try to manipulate people -- it always backfires.

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    • What do you mean by expectations? Like telling him I expect to be in a relationship?

      Reply

    • When you started having sex, it sounds like the only expectation was sex. If you wanted more, it doesn't sound like you ever asked him if he was interested in more than sex.

      Reply

What Guys Said 8

  • Hahaha, no. It means he's a lot better at reading your body language than you are at hiding it.

    Still, you have to understand that NO guy is going to start dating a girl he's been FWBing with. Not going to happen. If he could have feelings then he would have when he originally saw you.

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  • 'hooking up'. Then you told him you're leaving him for a serious guy. Dont see an issue, sounds like it was always hooking nup. Even if he had feels, you telling him you're leaving him for X isn't going to make him say anything but OK COOL.

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  • That means you tried to shit test him, and he passed. I'd say congratulate him, but the girl he replaced you with has probably already done that.

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  • You're looking for something that's no there.

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  • Sounds to me like he only liked you as a fuck buddy and nothing much else

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  • Sounds like you had a friends with benefits sich to me.

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    • I did basically, but I wanted more and then sort of tested him, just wondering if he cared about me "leaving" or not.

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    • You should straight out ask him if he wants a serious relationship or not with you. then you will know how he feels and whether or not it will work.

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    • You're right.

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  • As with pretty much all fuck buddies you don't mean anything more to him than easy sex.

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  • Saving face. He probably cares. Might not but prob does.
    I wouldn't bash you for your lie id do that same kind of shit for the same reason.

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What Girls Said 11

  • He probably never cared for you. The male brain has a much better ability to compartmentalize sex and emotion than the female brain does. He was in it just for the sex. Women shouldn't allow something like this without fully understanding what the man wants because that's the best way to get yourself taken advantage of and your heart broken.

    Men like sex. Men like sex with no strings attached. This is a well-known fact that women like to think they can be an exception to when they're not because women's brains release oxytocin ( the love hormone) in their brains when they have sex.

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    • The thing is I asked him what he wanted, he said he wanted to take things slow relationship wise, and still wanted to have sex. I told him early on what i wanted and he seemed to go along with it, but we never really did much outside of home.. this was over the course of 4 months.

      Reply

    • A lot of girls make the same mistake you did. When guys say they want to take a relationship slow, that's because they want to take the relationship slow. They don't want to get emotionally attached to you and don't want you getting too emotionally attached to them because they don't want a relationship. Men don't need a relationship to feel satisfied with sex, and sex doesn't release as much oxytocin in their brains when they have sex, so sex doesn't make them fall in love with you. Most men are OK with using women for only sex as long as the woman is consenting, and you can't blame them for it if you do.

      If he started out saying he didn't want a relationship, but wanted sex, that's what you two were doing for the four months you were together.

      One of the guys here already told you what this was for him: friends with benefits.

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  • Considering that you've never been out in public together, or met any of his friends, then yeah, you were just a fuck buddy hun :/

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    • I actually did meet his friends once LOL

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  • U give it to him SO easy. He only saw u, like u said. A friend with benefits. If u wanted for him to like u for more than just ur body u should have had more respect for yourself. He got what he wanted and if is not with u he will find another fuck buddy. If u wanted a relationship with him from the very beggining u should have, again, put more respect on yourself. I'm no expert but guys will fuck anything if they can. Meaning if they get a girl easy then they are only in it for the moment. If they get a girl kinda hard (Kinda because u don't want to be playing him either) then he will think of u, because u weren't desperate.

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    • Oh and if u catch feelings for him later on, then u should have voiced it. U can still tell him u want a committed relationship with him but... I don't know I think he just wanted a friends with benefits no strings attach

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  • I think he's hurt really, but just acting cool about the other guy so you can't see how upset he really is about it.

    He seems to genuinely like you, but maybe he doesn't know how serious you are about him. He probably thinks you're happy with the way thing are between you both.

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  • It's his way of saying he's not interested in a serious relationship with you.
    I think he sort of cared for you but not in the way you wanted.

    I had a friend with benefits and I ended up liking him only to end up in heartbreak. I just recently seen him and I couldn't look at him without wanting to hurt him.

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  • Actually. u hurt him.. he felt like u don't want him any more.. so he wishes u the best luck

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  • Probably saving face or he honestly taught y'all were f buddies and you were ok with it since you never stopped and demanded something more...
    Outta curiosity did you ever bring up commitment? I ask because I've recently read Why Men Marry Bitches and in the book it's suggested not to bring it up

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  • I'm muy opinion it would depend on how he said it. A lot of guys, like girls won't say what's on their mind necessarily. If he sounded like it was no big deal vs if he sounded a bit upset. Maybe he does care but knew that he never laid claim so to speak so he has no right to be upset so he acted ok with it. This is one of those situations where you're going to have to be direct with him if you want an honest answer.

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  • I stopped reading after the 6th word. He never cared.

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  • Guess what? No one on here really knows if he cared or not. Everyone is reflecting it on themselves, thinking if they acted that certain way what it would mean. But everyone is different. Labels don't matter, some people like taking things slow and some can't handle think people who do have bad intentions or don't care but YOU were the one who dated him, it's a gut feeling you get from the way he looks at you or treats you. If you wanna truly know how he feels then just say the TRUTH to him. Express yourself. I've been in your place, and I was so patient and didn't focus on the outcome, I focused on what I loved about him and just being in the moment, controlled myself and didn't get attached. That's when amazing things started to happen...

    You're on here asking for our opinions when we don't really know... And people telling you their opinions might ruin it so just go with your guts and COMMUNICATE with him :)

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  • It means he doesn't get his cake and eat it too! Good for you for testing him. Nothing wrong with that. He really doesn't care if he did he'd get jealous and mad and throw a fit. If he wanted u as a girlfriend he would have claimed you a long time ago

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