Guys do you usually prefer a soft spoken girl?

[archiz]

Well not in a sub way but someone who s more sweet while talking and uses a lot of emojies like 😍😘❤❤❤❤❤ whatever lol
I am usually pretty cold and a lot of a tom boy.
I am direct, strict and don t show emotions at all ar least at first.
And it s in my attitude, tone and choice of words.
Would that actually turn off a guy?

Updates

+1 y

The fuck did gag add a pic for my question -_-

[redeyemindtricks]

If you are in shape, attractive, and know how to dress in a way that's both respectable and sexy... then, the kind of communication you're talking about will attract only the BEST men.
... The kind of men who will communicate with you **on yr level** and who WANT a woman who'll challenge them (and who will challenge her, too).
Oh yeah. <3

You'll alienate SOME men, sure -- but, those are the kind of men who *want* a woman to be "soft spoken".
99.5 percent of the time, these men **can't stand** the thought of a woman they actually have to RESPECT or TAKE SERIOUSLY.
Pretty much, "I want a soft-spoken woman" REALLY means "I want a woman who'll just shut the fuck up, and let me walk all over her. Heaven forbid she might have opinions, values or needs of her own."
... Good riddance.

__

Girl don't change. You're fucking awesome. The boys who are really WINNERS, want a woman like YOU.

And those emoji tho... Are you 12 years old? No? Then yeah, no need for that noise ahah.

[redeyemindtricks]

Also, I like how you mentioned the subway 😂😂 Are there actually people who try to use soft voices in subway stations?

[archiz]

Hahaha you re always on point!
I love ya woman ❤
Yea guess you re right cs I keep getting those critics from my mum, friends and even some guys pifft.
What do you mean? 😂 I meant submissive haha

[redeyemindtricks]

Mwah.

Ooohhh ahha I read that as "the subway". I mean... the comment actually still makes sense that way 😂

Girl -- "Submission" is bullshit, unless it's reserved for one special man.
No real man wants a woman who "acts submissive" with EVERYONE. That'd be like buying hunting gear to go hunt a domesticated cat. ahah.

[archiz]

Hahaha yes it does
True true tony tells me the same thing ✌

[ExperimentalMale]

Not really, a girl can be sexually submissive which means she will want to be the submissive one with anyone she's with.

[redeyemindtricks]

@ExperimentalMale... not *really*, though.

A lot of women like to be *physically* controlled, in all of their sexual interactions -- like, smacked/slapped/shoved around, possibly degraded, etc.
... but, that's not the same as "submission". Not at all.

If a boy is smacking some girl around in the bedroom, but it's all **on HER terms** -- like, she's the one with all the boundaries, and all the safe words, and all the limits -- then... who's REALLY "dominating" that interaction? Who's REALLY "in control"?
Yeah...
Not the boy.

REAL "submission" means giving up THAT control, too. No more boundaries, no safe words, etc -- because there's enough TRUST that she can actually put those things in her man's hands.
It takes a long time, and a deep relationship, to get to that point.

Until then it's fun to "play rough", but, don't think for even a second that the boy has any real "control" or "dominance" if he ain't the one making the rules.

[ExperimentalMale]

I would still say the man is in control, everyone has limits that needs to be respected and not crossed. Just because the girl is the one who puts down the boundaries on what she's okay/not okay with doesn't really mean she is in control. I just see it as the man doing what he wants within her limits.

[ExperimentalMale]

If what your saying is true then most submissives whether they are male or female are the ones in charge and the dominants are obeying them

[redeyemindtricks]

@ExperimentalMale
"If what your saying is true then most submissives whether they are male or female are the ones in charge and the dominants are obeying them"

^^ That's ABSOLUTELY true.

Trust me -- Once I reached the point (in my marriage) where I really could, and did, give up ALL "boundaries", and just put it all in his hands... ahah it made all this other "dom"/"sub" stuff immediately seem like children playing in a sandbox.

In a symphony orchestra, the conductor is the one in control, no matter how masterfully the musicians play.
Same thing here -- If she's the one with the boundaries and the safe words, then, she's the conductor. He might be a virtuoso, but, at the end of the day he's just following her baton.

In the meantime, though, it's cute -- and fun! -- to let the boy keep thinking he's "in control". <3

[ExperimentalMale]

Most people see it in a different light than you, i just see it as the dominant doing whatever he/she likes within the submissives boundaries. I don't think that just because the submissive is the one who tells the dominant what he\she wants to do/not do that the submissive is in charge, sure they made a decision that the dominant has to respect but they can do anything they want within their limits. I do understand where you are coming from though. Let's go back to what you said, why do girls like a guy think he's in charge then if he isn't in charge (in your opinion)?

[ExperimentalMale]

like a guy to think*

[redeyemindtricks]

@ExperimentalMale

1)
Playacting / fantasy is fun.

2)
It's the closest we can get to what we *really* want without ACTUALLY relinquishing control over boundaries/limits/etc, which would obviously be an unsafe and stupid thing to do outside of a relationship with complete trust.

[ExperimentalMale]

Okay, that makes sense but it's dumb that they don't just relinquish control right off the bat if they truly want it. Yeah, I'm sure it's scary but I'm talking about in a relationship. I don;t think you need to be with the person for years or anything.

[redeyemindtricks]

@ExperimentalMale If you play as hard as my man and I do... oh yeah you need years. I'm quite literally putting my body, my emotions, all my mental and physical scars, and... my LIFE in that boy's hands.
Not going to explain this one any further. Use yr imagination. Or don't.

If a woman's (and mans) deepest fantasies don't go much past a few hard smacks on the ass, then, yeah, fine, whatever.
But, I'm talking about the kind of stuff that tests my man's OWN limits -- and that tests HIS ability to draw boundary lines, out of pure love, where I'd absolutely let him go farther and farther and farther by this point.

[justagirl5]

I hate when GAG adds pics to my stuff 😂 It's so dumb.

But anyway, I think a lot of them do like soft spoken girls because it's easier for the guys to be dominant/feel like a man that way, as weird as it sounds. I myself am loud and my guy was really quiet/soft spoken and never yelled or raised his voice at all but we worked out (couldn't be together for other reasons but that's a different story). I also know married couples where the wife is loud and the husband is really quiet, so I don't think it's a deal breaker but some guys are bothered

[archiz]

hahaha ikr? XD
and yea well said ^^

[Izumiblu]

You are what you are. Everyone has unique characterstics about them and you cannot set yourself up to be everything to everyone. I actually find you to be quite humorous and intelligent and not whiny and complainy at all. It might turn some guys off, but the guys you want to be around are the ones that pick up on and enjoy what you are about. You say you are "pretty cold", but you actually are not and there are guys that will pick up on this too, so just do you and dont worry about the rest.

[archiz]

Thank you :)

[super147]

I like someone to be responsive and to show some level of warmth and friendliness, otherwise conversation can be a non starter. If you are too cold and clinical with conversation then it's like talking to a wall. Yo don't necessarily have to use emoticons, that's personal choice, but you should find ways to animate your conversation because when words are on a screen we have no visual references to go on. We can't see your face, whether you are smiling or frowning. If all of your text is cold and emotionless then we assume that your face is too.

[archiz]

Ans if she talks a lot on bro mode?😅

[super147]

Well, if you talk a lot in bro mode then I guess you could end up being placed as one of the guys rather than anything else. I'm sure that guys will still try to flirt anyway but if every attempted flirtation hits a brick wall then eventually it will be assumed that it's not happening and you'll be bro coded, lol. Then he'll start talking to you about beer and boobs.

[archiz]

Hmm yea I know that s true.
Alright thanks

[Cosytoasty]

Hmm, it's a strange one. I like emojis when girls uses them to convey tone. BUT some intelligent girls @izumiblu @redeyemindtricks for example, are good enough at writing to not require them.

A lot of guys can't quite grasp the very clever subtleness and play on words so they think it's "cold".

That being said, STOP overthinking this, just be yourself and the guys unworthy of you will filter themselves out.

[archiz]

Fine I know I know ✋

[redeyemindtricks]

"Intelligent"
31.media.tumblr.com/.../...x6A1s0l9r9o1_r1_500.gif

I'll admit I write well.
Another funny thing in life: If a totally crazy person can write well enough... no one will believe that she/he is actually totally crazy.
... Even if what she/he is writing is, in fact, direct evidence of her/his craziness.
@chico_brah knows what I'm talking about lol

[Izumiblu]

Now im going to have to stop saying bad things about you. As long as your girlfriend is ok with not being hot, i guess i can be ok with it too. I can't tell you how many times i have had to go back and explain my comments here, i have actually thought to myself that i need to use emojis more often to convey tone like you mention, but it's just not my style, so i get blocked a lot haha.

[Cosytoasty]

@Izumiblu D'awww. I always manage to melt the hearts of Ice Queens :)

[Izumiblu]

is your girlfriend an ice queen too?

[Cosytoasty]

@Izumiblu Funnily enough she is, although she's very warm once she knows the person well. To strangers though she definitely gives off a "stay the fuck away unless you're worth my time" vibe.

[Izumiblu]

so... you're girlfriend is a not so hot ice queen

[Izumiblu]

you are quite the charmer

[Cosytoasty]

@Izumiblu Loooool, what can i say ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ part angel, part asshole.

Probably why i don't get blocked on here despite sometimes trolling the hell out of people.

[Izumiblu]

well, i get blocked quite often, but oddly its usually by people that start trolling me... granted, once someone trolls me i like to push them until they do block me, but still i find it a little strange

[archiz]

@Izumiblu I see you 2 are enjoying yourself 😛

[Izumiblu]

yes i do enjoy being called an ice queen

[archiz]

@Izumiblu it s one of the finest compliments dear
Embrace it

[Izumiblu]

yeah, i usually get called dragon lady, so... ice queen is new and freshly enjoyable

[archiz]

@Izumiblu dragon lady?
Why? 😂😂

[Izumiblu]

Asians and dragons... ice queen is usually reserved for bitchy caucasion people, dragon lady is reserved for bitchy Asian women
@Cosytoasty is having an identity crisis, he messed up and called me ice queen, i think because he is dating a caucasion girl, he forgot his roots and failed to address me with the proper missive

[archiz]

@Izumiblu bahahahahah
You re cracking me up 😂
That s what I thought just making sure

[Cosytoasty]

Actually @Izumiblu @archiz see my response. I simply don't believe you have evolved into a Dragon yet, because you're still alluring ^.~
www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q2175877-which-ethnicity-of-women-have-the-least-chill
I am very much in touch with my roots TYVM!

[Izumiblu]

well, nice cover, but you specifically said ice queen. your white girlfriend should be ashamed, she is committing Asian genocide by turning you into non Asian...

[Cosytoasty]

@Izumiblu lmfao, well played 👍. I know right we're such race traitors.

[redeyemindtricks]

Dragon lady mahah

Everyone thinks I'm 1/4-1/2 east or southeast Asian when they first meet me. (I'm not -- that's just my mom's Navajo features coming through loud and clear.)
I'm very "international-looking" -- in a certain way that's rare outside the "third culture kid" community -- but, nope. I'm just all the trash of California and Arizona, rolled up into one. ahah.

@Izumiblu Are you mixed?

[Izumiblu]

who's we?

[Izumiblu]

@redeyemindtricks im mostly japanese, but have malay and caucasion as well

[redeyemindtricks]

@Izumiblu Are you a "third-culture kid"? (If you don't know what that is, the answer is no)

[Izumiblu]

@redeyemindtricks

ok, well, i didn't know the terminology, i was born and raised in texas, but my father is japanese and a japanese citizen, my mother is malay, japanese and caucasion, but spoke only English and mandarin... i really only speak English because that is what was spoken in my household as a child, i would consider myself a mix of western and eastern cultures... i don't know what this

[Izumiblu]

i dont know if that is considered third culture or not

[Chico_brah]

This conversation was entertaining to read.

[redeyemindtricks]

@Izumiblu It's pretty close
Less so because you were raised in the States (a multicultural environment), but, a lot of the things 3ck's experience will probably sound familiar to you. You may want to google the term and see what comes up, if you haven't heard it before.
Most 3ck's are at the American international schools abroad.

[Izumiblu]

@redeyemindtricks i am curious to know why you ask?

[redeyemindtricks]

@Izumiblu Lived in a bunch of different countries abroad in my early-mid 20's, met loads of American expats who'd grown up as 3ck's and still lived abroad. There's a certain way in which those people tend to perceive and discuss things like race and nationality -- it's more constructive, more observational, and less judgmental than the way Americans raised in homogeneous families/neighborhoods back in the States do the same things.

I'm not a 3ck -- I was born and raised in the same shitty neighborhood of Long Beach, CA for the first 21 years of my life -- but, I have a lot in common with them, since I have a weird/unique racial background that doesn't stereotypically match most of my life experiences.

I haven't seen more than a single digit number of yr posts, but, there's just sometihng about the way you process and discuss stuff that made me realize you've definitely had *some* of that culture-mixing in yr background. Can't exactly put a finger on it, but, I wasn't wrong <3

[Izumiblu]

@redeyemindtricks

Well, it might be a sense of not belonging that is common among us. With my parents and family, i am a bit of a black sheep, the westerner, my father faults himself that he didn't raise me right... and i do prefer the states over Japan. He still tries to convince me to move to Japan lol. In the states though, i am the Asian, my values are more conservative and traditional than most in some regards... not to mention my appearance which gives no hint to anything different than Asian.

[archiz]

@redeyemindtricks can I be considered a 3ck?
I was in a french school then went to an American univ but then transferred to another french univ

[redeyemindtricks]

@archiz you probably have a significant amount in common with other 3ck's, yeah. Is there an American, Canadian or British International high school in yr city? If so, do you know anyone from there?

[archiz]

@redeyemindtricks American yea I do
there is IC (international college) and other colleges offer the IB
British not sure
I know people in a Canadian university here
there is also a german school and a german univ but the german univ isn t that good

[Jxpxtxr]

I think it makes it easier to show someone you like them if you can do that but then it really depends a lot on the person, some people (like me) get really annoyed by people who always put an effort to make it seem like they are the sweetest because it's most of the time just pretentious.

[archiz]

True
And feelings take time to develop
I am not gonna get all lovey at first haha

[Jxpxtxr]

Exactly, I think most guys just prefer if you're your natural self

[TadCurious]

Sarah, I love you, but if you're actually cold in your interactions with a guy I think it's safe to say that would turn off most guys. A girl doesn't have to gush with cheap displays of emotion to be at least somewhat warm and friendly. Especially early in a relationship, both people (I think) are looking to see if there's any kind of connection. And if a guy senses that the girl is cold toward him, that's not gonna make him think there's much point.

[archiz]

Yea that s what my mum said
Also when I speak in bro matter.
But I talk to everyone like that.
But my mum said the guy you re talking to date isn t everyone si meh

[capturemyheartnow]

Whatever you do dear archiz , I like it. I am the exact opposite of you. I have never used emojies or common internet words and yet people appreciate what I do or say. Don't worry , do what you need to do. There in lies your personality and style. i am soft spoken too but I have made you wild and emotional a few times already here on GAG. By the way , I like the way you use your emojies. But I hate to use them

[archiz]

Haha thanks^^
When did you make me wild and emotional though?

[capturemyheartnow]

A few times.

[AhGojira]

Emojies? :s I don't take that stuff as an actual reflection of people's emotions. Emotions are good though. If someone is too cold/emotionally disconnected then yeah I know that they'll never go far with me. A bit of risk and vulnerability is necessary...

[archiz]

Hmm fair enough

[AhGojira]

I think they're telling you to shut up. :p

[AhGojira]

man that finger looks dirty...

[archiz]

oh no you didn t XD
hahaha ikr? Looks photoshopped

[bedroomdweller]

Not necessarily, but it might be. I prefer feminine traits which are often associated with a "soft voice" and being tender and whatnot, but then I also enjoy some sarcasm and wit from a girl which tend to be present in a direct peronality/character. I think a balance of both is ideal.

As for emojis I couldn't care less

[archiz]

My mum aaid I don t act feminine enough 😭
The hell? And I have a low voice lol

[bedroomdweller]

Having a low voice doesn't mean not feminine. How many of those radical feminists have loud squeaky voices and it makes you want to choke them lol
I'd say it is on the approach or manner you use the voice. If you combine a low voice with a tomboy attitude then yeah it can be problematic to me and throw me off tbh

[archiz]

Hahaha alrighty
Thanks for the feedback

[bedroomdweller]

Lmao gag is telling you to shut the fuck up and take it like a girl with that pic

[archiz]

ow fuck no

[CanadEh]

It's gonna be pretty hard for me to be into a girl who doesn't show any emotion or acts cold a lot. I could do without the emojis (although they're not exactly bad) but yeah, I'd prefer someone who's sweet more often than not, even if it's just in person or just with me because it's easier for me to tell you're actually into me. Plus, I'm affectionate and need a partner who is too.

Being direct is great though and is definitely something I strongly prefer.

[ShortCircuit]

I don't know. Girls who are very blunt, sarcastic, and opinionated definitely turn me off, but I'm also bored by girls who are too shy to even strike up a conversation.

I want a girl who is not shy, but also has the decency to filter herself and be sweet and kind to me.

[Adviceforadvice]

Personally I think soft speakers are easier to connect with because of their warmth and open emotions, as opposed to a cold looking text. All down to personal preference; and I suppose if I met a new girl tomorrow, we started texting and she didn't use emojis or something from the very start, nothing would be wrong.

[Red_Arrow]

Actually, that description sounds like someone who would very much attract me. Combine that with your looks and I find myself wishing I was 55 years younger!! 👍😀

[archiz]

Hahahah 😛

[AleDeEurope]

Yeah, no one wants a truck driver as a girlfriend.
Lol, but you're not that bad, you're just too "bro-ish" xD

[archiz]

hehe :P

[Hans222]

Haha the added picture I had as well to my question of yesterday :o
As long as you're a nice girl (which you are, I'm certain!) no problem at all :D

[archiz]

ty :)

[wankiam]

i would say yes in general i guess because i do like girly girls but sometimes a deeper voice can be quite sexy

[wankiam]

didn't you add it?

[archiz]

lol no

[wankiam]

thats crazy then but can you ask a question on sexy girls in leotards next ;)

[mikemx55]

Not sure what I prefer, but you're a delight to talk to.

[archiz]

Awee thank you ^^

[Autumn-Bunny]

Same... well I guess I have my affectionate moments. I prefer to just be my self. It doesn't matter if someone likes me or not.

[archiz]

True ✌

[Yanoa_Yanza]

Doesn't seem like a turn off to me. And you probably noticed that I also use emojis every now and then!

[archiz]

Haha yea 😛

[Saoirse_Nua]

Different guys have different tastes - There are guys like me who would find "someone who s more sweet while talking and uses a lot of emojies like whatever" a sugar overload.

[jman46241]

I prefer women that can keep up with me. Sure I like the soft spoken sweetness at times, but otherwise that can get old pretty fast. I like women that challenge me! That will keep me on my toes :)

[SlightlyCrazy]

No I like soft and inviting as I am very soft myself

[archiz]

Awee 😛

[SlightlyCrazy]

Do I come of that way or no?

[archiz]

Not really

[SlightlyCrazy]

Odd though I am outgoing due to a lack of fear of stigma
In private I'm very soft spoken

[archiz]

Well it s good to have both traith ✌

[archiz]

Traits**

[SlightlyCrazy]

Thank you ☺️

[glaji]

And why do you behave this way at first? Don't hesitate to show your emotions.

[archiz]

I don t have much emotions at first lol
It takes time to develop

[glaji]

Alright.^^ I tell you this because if a girl was cold with me, maybe i would think that she doesn't like me, doesn't want to talk to me... lol... So then it doesn't help to communicate... But i understand that you can be cold and like persons you are cold with though...

[archiz]

Yeppers

[glaji]

Great so.^^

[Flow_like_the_wind]

I like both types. I use emojies too and soft spoken girls are cute but I like direct strict and stoic girls too since I fit that profile more out in real life, but I can see why it's a turn off because it looks like you're never interested and you come off as cold. I've been on both sides of the track so I know from experience.