Why don't Girls like Socially Awkward Guys?

[nanook12]

I am a mathematics and physics major in college, and I am fairly socially awkward, especially with the opposite sex. I pretty much fit the mold of a stereotypical socially stunted nerd. All of my friends are similar. We all foster friendly rivalries with each other and generally get good grades. However, practically everyone of us fails with women. It is kinda soul crushing to watch all my friends and myself try hard in classes and strive to get good jobs in order to support a family, only to be completely marginalized by women as unworthy mates based solely on our social skills. On top of all this social awkwardness is now being linked to genetics. Which means I cannot simply practice and "get better at my game" because that will not change the underlying genetics issue. Over years my loneliness has fermented to rage toward women. Why do you women value social skills over everything else?

[Dim1213]

Um dude sorry but it is not linked to genetics. That is just stuff nerds come up with to make themselves feel better. Remember your ansesters had to pair up in order for you to be there. So if they can find a woman then you can also.

Being social and good with women is a social SKILL and you can and eventually will get better at it. I myself was the shyest kid on campus in highschool. I would just rush to the videogame club and try not to talk to anyone but my own few freinds. After I joined a young adult group at church and in it. Guys and girls mixed unlike before when everyone was somewhat separated. Over time I slowly learned how to relax around women and how to be confident which in strangely so many ways changes how a woman looks at you. True I'm usually being put in the freindzone but still I can talk to women with ease now.
I understand that your mad at women but you also need to remember that dating is a numbers game. You have to meet so many women before one will eventually like you. If she likes you then you also have to like her and your personalities have to mesh up.
I'll tell you what I tell all of the shy guys. Slowly work on it. Start small with a MIXED group that you can take your time and get comfortable in. Then when your ready enlarge your social circle to include more mixed people. After a while you will be doing fine with women. Eventually you will want to start trying out flirting and by that time your well on your way. Get what female freinds you have to help you. All of those players also learned how to act around women and you will eventually also. The key is self respect and confidence. If you don't think that your good enough to date then she won't think that your good enough for her either.

[HungLikeAHorsefly]

It's the same reason other men don't like socially awkward guys - because their lack of social skills makes other people uncomfortable.

Believe me - you can simply practice being better around other people in social situations. You don't need to try to become an "alpha male" or any of the PUA garbage to get better at it - you just need to develop yourself in social areas and not just analytical things.

[Rainie_]

Here's the thing some "hardcore study folks" forget, social skills are incredibly important in this society if you want to succeed in many things, such as: getting a job, getting a partner, succeeding in your job, making connections etc.

I wouldn't say social awkwardness is genetic, it can be but only to a very small extent which you can work on. I used to be socially awkward but I worked my way out of it. You can make any excuse you want about your social awkwardness but at the end of the day it's not going to be attractive because it makes people feel uncomfortable, awkward, and you CAN change it, genetic or not. Personally I don't really hang out with people I feel awkward with because it's uncomfortable, it's just unpleasant. I'm not going to look at a guy and think "oh he can provide for me well. Socially awkward? No problem at all, we don't need to talk much anyway!" FUCK THATTT LOOL I rather be with someone who I don't feel awkward and uncomfortable with, that I can talk to about whatever even if he struggles to provide for family, he could just become the house dad for all I care.

You're going to have to keep putting yourself out of your comfort zone if you want to improve on your social skills. Not stay in your bubble and blame "genetics" and wish people could just accept your awkward self. Blaming women for wanting to be able to have a conversation and a good time instead of an awkward time IS SO SADDD. The only thing you can do is blame yourself man, smh. 🙄

[btbc92]

Well, you can't apply this to all women. It's to do with maturity, age, social status, etc. I can be socially awkward as well and can still talk with other people. So I doubt it's because your socially awkward or just that alone. It could be that your communication skills are not up to par. And it has to do with the type of women you're trying to conversate with. Work on your people skills first before you attempt to try to speak with girls as a whole.

And do yourself a favor: "get better at my game" get rid of this way of thinking. It's not about a game. It's having basic conversation skills. Some like small talk. Others like me loathe it and prefer deep intellectual and meaningful conversations.

[TheLuckyPizzaDog]

I wanna be nice but seriously man, you're raging because girls don't want to choose the guy who is awkward to talk to, probably can't strike up and hold up in a decent, non-study specific conversation without sounding stilted, not as charming as other guys, and is overall just not that great at communication and awkward to talk to? Is it really hard to understand why? News flash: Men don't like socially awkward girls either. Not unless they're hella fucking cute or have big boobs. Go ahead, contest that. Because I can confirm.

[Cosytoasty]

I contest... I'd rather they have a nice butt 😉

[Lolita911]

because women want a guy they can talk to and who's funny and can keep a conversation going with her. I'm extremely socially awkward but ik most people aren't gonna wanna b with me if I can't even talk to them or be able to talk to their friends or family without being awkward

[nanook12]

You can talk to socially awkward guys. They are just not good at first impressions and take longer for things to flow smoothly.

[Lolita911]

and that's annoying honestly

[nanook12]

Why base so much off of first impressions?

[Lolita911]

because sadly first impressions r very important. it's how someone makes a judgement on if they wanna see u again. it's just how it is

[nanook12]

First impression are important to women because they make them important. That is not "just how it is" nor is it the way it has to be. That is just you making it that way.

[Nuala]

Dude... It has nothing to do with genetics...
Women (for the most part) want men they can talk to and get along with. They can't really talk to you if you're socially awkward now can they? Why put in all the effort to talk to you when they can find other guy which they can just talk with?
Also you Linda sound like a winey bitch... So even if someone did look past your socially awkwardness you might still have trouble finding a date...

[HonestWhiteGuy]

Because many want the jock or badboy thug who seems charismatic and entertaining and maybe he is, but beyond that he's usually a loser.

I'd suggest you try some online dating and look for women you can meet up and go on some dates, get some experience that way. Also start working out more, it will help your confidence in approaching women

[Anonymous]

you'll find women that are suited for you and into similar things, everyone wants to be around people they can get on with, im sure your not socially awkward with your friends right? because youve gotten comfortable with them, same goes for getting to know a women once you open up abit you'll find it easier, there's someone for everyone out there and lots of different types of people.

[deraz24]

A main key to any relationship us communication, if you can't communicate to each other it's not gonna work. You can't be a mime lol we like to talk ab things. A simple hello is okay, we don't bite

[DarkHumorRUs]

https://i.imgur.com/7pAE4cy.png
...

[Izumiblu]

If there are two guys, all other things being equal, one is socially awkward and one is not, then which guy would you expect the girl to pick?

[TheLuckyPizzaDog]

The one with more to offer. The guy that has everything the other guy has to offer, but also social awkwardness.

[AnyaKarun]

You didn't answer my comment to your last post, so I'm assuming you are running away from our argument because you clearly know that i make a good point.

[Lolita911]

so he's basically attention seeking because he can't get a women

[AnyaKarun]

Yup, pathetic

[sweetshyguy]

Why are you girls so evil? he is just a lonely dude not a terrorist or something.

[AnyaKarun]

You didn't read his comments to me in our last convo, was mocking me for saying I'm not into reserved people. not being evil sweetie, I'm being brutally honest.

[sweetshyguy]

Ok :'(

[AnyaKarun]

Why the crying emoji?

[sweetshyguy]

Because you said that the truth is that women don't like shy awkward guys

[AnyaKarun]

I never said that, stop putting words in my mouth. I said I, as in MYSELF wouldn't date a shy guy but that doesn't mean I've never crushed on one or see them as great friends. And I know girls who love them as partners. This dim wit trying to guilt me for my preferences

[sweetshyguy]

ohh ok but some women are attracted to us good :)

[AnyaKarun]

of course, they are so adorable and attractive to me

[sweetshyguy]

Thank you, yeah, we are like cute teddy bears, always willing to make you happy and do our best to satisfy you, we don't fight, we don't yell hit or insult women, all that is impossible for us to do :)

[ptstat]

because parents in good faith pushed us to study to get a better job, but the little collateral effect is girls like carpenters etc.
not just in America

[rgb008]

Please tell me what is attractive about being socially awkward and why we should like it?

[nanook12]

You could look at the whole person instead of just social skills. Nerds generally have less social skills. However, they usually have above average in analytical skills, which are in demand in our modern economy. Which means nerds can probably provide for you better. Nerds are going to be more gracious and treat women better because they know not many women will give them a chance. Nerds are probably not going to cheat on you for the same reasons. Nerds make up for their lack of social skills with other attributes. You just gotta give them a chance and be patient with them socially.

[melodybluesy]

I am attracted to those types. trying not to though because it sure makes life with them confusing

[frozenhorizon]

Because most people are extraverted simpletons who don't like to think about the complicated things you think about

[Anonymous]

Why do guys value looks? You can't help what you are and aren't attracted to...

[jacquesvol]

Do those "most popular girl" and "most popular guy", "most likely to succeed" competitions still exist in American high schools?

[Other_Tommy_Wiseau]

Cause chicks (and everyone) like people they can talk to

[Danher525]

I was socially awkward, but one girl liked me even though she called me weird and is still a very good friend to me :)

[Anonymous]

Hasn't this guy posted this question like 8 times now?

[nanook12]

Hammer home the point while refining exactly what I am trying to get across. I will copy paste to other sites and leech opinions from all over so that I can further my understanding of all this based on large scale opinions from people.

[Opinion Owner]

Fair enough.

[COCOCHANEL]

i like them