haha I love how tons and tons of insecure shy girls come on these websites asking heavily biased questions saying things like "im shy but guys like slutty loud outgoing types" as if shy girls can't be "slutty" and being loud and outgoing are so incredibly synonymous with "slutty." cracks me up every time.
anyway everyone has their own types. I'm not a guy but I do date girls and I'm not into shy girls much and neither are most of the guys I have dated. I'm very outgoing and loud and sociable (I probably am what you consider to be "slutty" but that's just me lol). I like people who are similar. shy people seem so standoffish and having a conversation with shy types is almost never easy. its like pulling teeth, trying to get them to contribute to a conversation. its hard for someone to think you're interesting and want to get to know you for those interesting unique qualities if don't open your mouth or constantly avoid eye contact. also at times it seems like shy people don't want to be bothered so I know a lot of people who are just more than happy to let them stay to themselves. I try to talking to everyone even shy people because I know that you may be surprised at the people you can meet that are loners or sit in the corner by themselves or something. they deserve a chance too. I only have a couple shy friends but they are very open with me now. I had to carry the conversations for a long time but now things are more leveled off. having said that, talking to meet people and actually wanting to date someone are two different things. I don't know if I would want to date a shy girl because getting to know someone should be fun and easy and with shy people it tends to be tedious and maybe some guys see it as not worth the trouble.
there are lots of guys who prefer shy girls though! you don't have to completely change who you are but being more approachable maybe would help you and yes a little more outgoing or at least willing to say hello first or something. body language speaks volumes. you want to smile. you want to make eye contact, even if its in that coy way of constantly looking away but always looking back and smiling to let them know you're interested. I'm more of a blatant "come hither" stare type myself but to each is own. :)
a lot of guys like the coy thing though and that whole "innocent" vibe so that could work to your advantage. a lot of guys like that because they think they can be sure that you aren't cheating or you haven't been with too many other guys.
do you like shy guys? maybe the shy guys who love shy girls are waiting on some chick to show interest, just like you are waiting. lots of outgoing guys like shy girls as well but I'm just saying...it goes both ways. there might be guys into you but you don't notice them either or you are being a picky beggar. they can't be choosers remember that! xD
It's all about confidence. It's not that guys don't like shy girls it's that these particular shy girls don't have much confidence in themselves. If you have to ask why they don't like shy girls, you should really be asking 'why don't they like me?'
I'm a shy girl who has been through this before. I blamed the fact that I was shy and wouldn't put out on why guys didn't approach me but I would always see them with other out-going girls. But I found that the more I embraced who I am as a shy person and gained confidence in who I am, guys came up to talk to me a lot more.
For 1) Some of these guys could really just be looking for sex at the time, 2) Guys find girls who arn't confident in themselves unnattractive even if their looks say otherwise. 3) taking from point 1) they arn't ready for commitment and just want to have fun. When they are ready for a girlfriend to be commited to they will most likely venture over to the shy girl side.
P.S are you looking for a guy in the wrong places? for a shy girl a party would not be a good place to start. Try a book store (chapters? Indigo?), grocery store(guys who shop by themselves with a buggy full of grocery's show that they have responsibility meaning boyfriend material), coffee shop?
Okay,
How many "good-looking" shy girls do you know? No, I don't mean "aww, she's so pretty & cute", but "damn! she's hot!"? Yeah, didn't think so.
They're shy, for a reason.
So here are the choices guys have to pick from:
- Shy girl: hard to read, doesn't show her interest in me, comes off as playing games or playing hard-to-get, wants a guy to "work hard to get her" so she can comfort her underlying insecurities about herself and he can validate her self-esteem. So, more work, same or less benefits as any other girl.
- Outgoing girl: easy to read, shows her interest in him, comes off as more open and honest, doesn't come off like she's manipulative or playing games, doesn't have self-esteem issues, isn't trying to make the guy "work hard to get her". So, less work, same benefits as any other girl (though, usually better looking & sexually uninhibited than other girls).
So imagine you're a guy, and these are your choices. Do you want to take a wild guess which girl you'd naturally gravitate towards, and which girl you'd barely even notice or ignore?
Exactly.
I'd have to agree with NMMan.
I hear from girls all the time that "Guys only go for those slutty bitches! They're all shallow jerks for not noticing the shy girl pining after them!" Yeah, this is the female version of nice guy vs. bad boy scenario.
First of all, there are a lot of guys just out for sex. They get it from girls who are likely to put out, simple as that. The rest of this answer is ignoring those guys.
Despite what any other sources might tell you, a lot of guys are nervous about asking girls out. One of the main reasons for this is because asking a girl out is often taking a shot in the dark. If you actually talk/flirt with a guy and make it known that you're interested, then he is MUCH more likely to ask you out.
I hear from many girls that it is the man's job to ask her out. Some girls like it because it shows that he's confident, and some like it because "I'm too shy and scared of rejection". Well, if you're going to leave everything up to the guys, then that's an acceptable choice, but you have no place to complain when Prince Charming doesn't come riding up on his white horse.
Am I saying that it's your job to ask him out? If you really don't want to, then you don't have to. What I am saying is that you are going to have very limited success when you just kick back and wait for things to come to you. Show interest, let people know you're available, meet people, and actually be noticed.
Personally, I do suggest that you be more social, and I suggest that you let guys know that you're interested. You are going to have a lot more success, and you are going to have more choice over what kinds of guys you meet.
I like shy or reserved they usually unintentionally hit a lot of my weaknesses. First of is your shy you can come off as reserved and reserved people tend not to like being approached (they tend to keep to them selves and shut you down or bitch out if you try to approach). This become more and more true depending on how good looking you, guys find attractive shy or reserved girl very intimidating. You would benefit from just coming off less reserved, you giving off the wrong vibe. Make sure your language is reading "I'm approachable" and "not go f*** your selve". Also make sure you don't hide your flaws no matter how small, embrace them. Some girls try to make them selves seem perfect or close to it and turn them selves into highly desired object out of reach for the average guy, instead just another human being, perfect or close to perfect girl tend to scare the sh*t out of guys especially if they are shy reserved. Lastly not all guys like loud outgoing girls I personally do but a lot of guys find them annoying, obnoxious, and needy and the guys who sluts only want an easy and don't respect or care about you.
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Shy girls ar fine. Shy girls who continue to be shy despite every attempt to get you to talk is annoying. Also, loud girls aren't slutty. I know loud girls who make Mother Theresa look like a prude and quiet/shy girls who could make a porn star blush.
If you're really that shy when a guy comes up to you, tell him. Being shy doesn't mean that you can't open your mouth. A good guy will say "Okay" and keep talking to you, the right guy will have you laughing in 5 minutes. But if you sit in a corner and look all dark and gloomy, you send off signals that you don't want to be talked to. I've sat at a cafe just to get out and have a drink and had girls give my eyes but don't dare come up to me because I know I look moody (which I typically am if I'm out drinking alone). Same cafe, I sat down to do some work and had the bartender flirting with me even though I was staring at my laptop screen. Look interesting and approachable.
She had her interest piqued by me because I was writing, which corresponded with one of her interests. Like a lot of people said, shy girls are good at being passed over because you're also very good at pretending to be invisible. I'm not saying carry props with you every where, but don't look like you don't want to be there.
Hehe. =] I like shy girls, and am also shy myself. Don't be put off if some guys don't like shy girls. They just don't want to make the effort to try getting you to open up. Sucks to be them.
Guys usually go for the more slutty, open girls, because they know they can easily get what they want from them. They're lazy. They make very little effort. If they see a shy girl, they move on, rather than try getting that girl to open up with them so that he can be close with her. I think that's pathetic, and hope those guys end up with someone as lame as they are.
So don't worry if you're shy. Look at it like this: your shyness keeps the trash away. If a guy is TRULY interested in you, he won't give up chasing you just because you're shy at first. Instead, he will try and get you to open up. If he just gives up without so much as trying, then he obviously wasn't worth your time anyway.
Its hard to tell shy girls from girls who are annoyed by the guy and want him to go away.
What shy girls don't realize is that if a an averaged girl does not like a guy, she will sit there, say almost nothing and hope the guys goes away. But if a shy girl DOES like a guy, she does the same thing, sit there and say almost nothing, only she hopes we don't go away.
From our point of view, it is almost impossible to tell them apart. The actions are exactly the same, the only difference is what's going on inside the girls head. Most guys do not want to waste their time on a girl who gives them no sign of whether they are interested or not. Especially if the room is full of other girls who clearly are interested.
You should start acting more out-going. Definitely. Guys like that.
you can only be who you are, loud girls are like turkey sandwiches, once you take away the bread and the fancy toppings your lift with boring cold, bland, dry turkey. shy girls are like turkey clubs, warm, layered, juicy, some what complex which can intimidate and can't be rushed to be eaten. what I'm saying is this, ain't nothing wrong with coming out of your shell as long as you stay true to yourself. I'm hungry...
we do like shy girls actually... a lot of times more than the outgoing ones, depending on the girl I guess...
but the thing is that when you try to talk to or hit on a shy girl you get less feedback, and it can take a lot longer to get to know her, so we lose interest and get over it or whatever
...so being shy is cool but if were talking to you we like you so try to make an effort to open up, even if you end up saying or doing something a little weird... cause it can work with the whole shy personality and end up being cute
Guys don't like the loud sluts! There annoying as hell! You need to meet guys in the middle,dont make them always have to chase you. Make their approach easy or approach them at least once. Guys need to know that a girl likes them and want them bad,reassurance. So if your really shy,I would think your not interested at all. Are you sharing eye contact in prospects? That's huge. Again,nothing worse than a loud slut,when a slut is really loud and needs attention,I think I'm gonna put something in her mouth to shut her up! Ya guys want to nail them but that's it,they have no respect for them. Maybe you are intimidating so like I said make it seem like your looking for conversation or your not a girl that is gonna make them feel like an idiot. Make it easier for the guy to talk to you,those loud girls make it real easy. Your on track,don't change who you are,I'm sure your friendly just show it.
It's not that guys don't like shy girls; it is that more outgoing people are easier to read. You learn about them quickly, so you know if you like them or not. If you are shy, you just have to give yourself enough time to open up with the guy you like. Join a club where you could meet the type of guy you like and have enough time to get to know him.
If you're not getting hit on, I would practice establish eye contact with guys you think are cute and smiling at them. A lot of times, I would get a lot of attention from a guy after I paid attention to him.
I LOVE shy girls, under two conditions:
1) She smiles a lot. This tells me she's friendly and approachable, and it just makes me feel good to see a cute shy girl smile a lot.
2) She reciprocates my interest. Or else, how would I know she likes me? If she were showing no interest at all, I'd get discouraged and move on.
Slutty girls are easy, and men are typically lazy. Shy girls are more of the type to have relationships with or even wife, but not till later in life. Shy girls aren't that interesting cause they don't do anything. If you're good looking, then guys'll approach you even if you're shy, but if you're a plain jane wall flower, you're outta luck.
Not all guys are like that. Shy girls have a mysteriousness to them that is sexy. What is hard is knowing what they think. Shy girls are in my opinion the best catch and make the best girlfriends. All we guys ask for are a few concrete hints that they are attracted to us, otherwise all we can do is guess.
Just give out hints to the guy you like that you actually like him. DO NOT avoid him, it will seem like you are not interested. SHOW that beautiful smile all shy girls have and make it clear that you like the guy. Other than that there is an allure that shy girls have.
I'm an introvert and hate people. I like the personality of shy women because they resemble mine as well. They don't talk a lot and aren't loud, which is what I like. But the reason why I hate being attracted to shy women is because they're hard to read. It's literally the opposite when it comes to flirting and attraction. They like you, and they hide it. I've been attracted to mostly shy women and they give the impression that they don't like me. So I move on, only to find out almost a few months later they liked me and wondered I never made a move or asked them out. That's the only reason i to away from shy girls now. I'm sarcastic and love to tease the woman that I like a lot.
So do yourself a favor and stop wasting our time when you like a guy. LEARN to get over your nervousness
I wouldn't say so much that guys don't like shy girls, it's that they often don't *notice* shy girls (which is pretty much the same trap that shy guys fall into when the shoe is on the other foot). Don't be afraid to smile, throw a few glances here and there, or start some conversation...it can only help your cause. I was a shy guy growing up, so I can feel where you're coming from - don't give up :-).
Why did you have to partner outgoing with "slutty"? Not nice.
So, yes, flashy girls do get a lot of attention, not necessarily the attention that leads to having a boyfriend, but it can. Shy girls and guys just require the other person to be a lot more outgoing to make something happen. It is hard to approach a girl that is giving off no vibes of interest and not giving any ins to starting a conversation.
Even if I do believe guys should be the hunter and reasonably pursue the girl, I don't agree that they can do this without any help on the part of the girl. If you go out and pretty much appear like a lump on a log, don't know how many guys can work with that, unless you are amazingly beautiful and a player comes along.
I wouldn't say most guys don't like shy girls - a lot actually do. Its not that you're intimidating at all, sometimes its more likely that you beldn into the wall too well, and don't stand out.
Most young fellas are more interested in sex than relationships, and the slutty chicks are an easy target, even if you know they've been nailed many times before.
As for being more outgoing, its not always that easy if you're a bit quiet. Nothing wrong with it at all, but yes, sticking your head out of your shell won't hurt. People will see you, and from that, you'll catch a few more eyes than you would otherwise.
Good luck, and feel free to ask for more details.
Men like shy girls, but I think men like the more slutty one and outgoing ones cause there easyer to open up.. As we shy girl's aren't and it's to much work for most guy to open us up. But if a guy likes you for you he won't give up just cause you are shy, you shouldnt have to change just to get a guy.
It takes more effort to get to know a shy girl. In other words, it easier to talk to outgoing people. Some guys prefer shy girls though and will try to get to know them better. As long as you don't keep to yourself when that happens, you don't need to "act" more outgoing.
Most guys like the shy girls, but are intimidated by them. The loud slutty ones make easier targets because the girl rarely turns the guy away and the guy doesn't feel the fear of rejection from his target. Guys do want to be with a shy girl but feel afraid that he won't be good enough in her eyes and she will turn him away, which all men fear.
I like shy, polite, girls, you're probably much more well rounded then the slags you see hanging around with all the guys, be proud of yourself and the right guy will come along in good time. I have a hard time finding girls like you, don't make a rare species even rarer!
when out of a relationship we kinda try and split sex and love. we''ll either go out with girls becuase we really feel for them or becuase, tbh their easy. guys don't dislike shy girls they just normally take everything seriously, the loud shouty types often give off the image that they can have a good time and know it doesn;t mean anything.
if you want guys to like you seriously then just be yourself and someone special will come along. if you want to start to muck around a bit, then just show them you won't fall head over heels in love with them after a bit of flirting.
i think it's because loud slutty men seek loud slutty women. you notice them because they are loud. I'm sure the quiet guys are interested in you, they're just too quiet for you to know.
there's this girl at my school who I see every once in a while, always alone, but not sulking; just alone. I'm naturally quiet too, but I want to talk to her so bad. I just need the opportunity.
mysteriousness is truly sexy.
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