My boyfriend's words doesn't match up with his actions, help?

My boyfriend of 2 years didn't get me anything for the last vday or my last birthday. We did give each other Christmas gifts. But I think that is because I talked about having a present for him already.
Last Vday I was so excited because it was our 1st one together. He was offshore during so I was totally fine with not getting anything on that day. I bought him a really fancy card and heart Star Wars candy. I pour out my heart on that card and give those to him when he came back from offshore. He didn't get anything for me and I was pretty disappointed but thought I was being silly and immature because he was offshore.
For my birthday he didn't get anything either but he did text me happy birthday. Again he was offshore. My friends actually threw me a surprise party so I wasn't too upset but later felt bitter that he could at least gave me a birthday card. So when his Bday came I was actually planning on buying him something nice but at that time money was tight and I felt bitter thinking back how he didn't get me anything. I actually asked him if he wanted anything for his birthday and he said no. I know I should have gotten him something anyway but feeling bitter that he didn't get me anything I didn't.
I keep thinking actions speak louder than words and he tells me he loves me all the time then how come he never show it?
I buy him little gifts pretty often not as much now but before I did.
He doesn't but he does pay for my dinner when we go out. Mostly because I don't work yet. (Full time med student)
I'm not really asking for gifts because I want stuff. I would be happy with a card for Vday and my birthday. I got so jealous when my classmates were talking about what their boyfriend did for them on Vday or birthday and they asked me what did my boyfriend do? I felt so awkward I didn't even know what to say.

I am really sorry how long this post got. I wanted to tell this to my closest friends but I fear they might judge him.
Thank you to anyone that replies.
I figured last year it was my fault for not asking for a card so this year I made it clear to him I want a card. He said he will buy me a card. He had a week to do so but 2 days ago he told me he forgot and he will make it up to me because he went offshore yesterday. I told him it's ok if you forgot it happens. Then buy me a card from Amazon. He said he will but later that day when I asked him if he did he says he only found kaddy cards for kids on Amazon. Th
This really irritated me because I went on Amazon to search and I found tons of cards for adults. He tells me he loves me all time time and we always have a lot of fun together but how come the one time I asked for something. A card not the freaking moon it's turning out to be so difficult? He says I am the love of his life. Then how come I feel like he doesn't care?


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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • Maybe he never got gifts growing up, for whatever reason. Ask him what's up of you'll forever be questioning his motives, right?

    • I did ask him, he says he doesn't like Valentine's Day or his birthday. Which I told him I understand that but please understand I really care for those days because I'm a hopeless romantic. I told him he didn't have to give me anything big. If he could give me a card for both I'll be really happy. I just want something that shows he remembered and cares. Which he responded he will but now Valentine's Day is around the corner and I even reminded him a week ago by stating I got your card and candy, remember to get me a card~ but he forgot still and now he is offshore and won't be back for another month.

    • Show All
    • My concern is that I made it so clear to him in what I wanted and he forgot and didn't put it in his priority to do. I always made what he wanted as one of my top priorities. What I'm worried now is what if it'll be like this for everything that comes along and next time it wouldn't be something simple like getting card. I can't be faced with disappointment year after year. It'll be too much. The problem is that I love him so much, I think that's why it hurts all the more. Disappointment from someone you love.

    • Just hang in there and keep reminding him to bring you the small things in life

  • Wow... he doesn't love you because he doesn't buy you gifts? Get real.

    • Did you read all my post? All I wanted was a card. That's it, a card for Valentine's Day which I got him plus candy.
      Throughout our relationship I never asked for anything other than a card and that is just during Valentine's Day.

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    • I know you are right. I don't know why this is hurting me so much. It just makes me feel like I'm not important enough for him to remember. My one request in our relationship and it's not being met. You might not believe me but I'm very easy going and I never asked for anything for him. Even we went shopping, if I wanted something I'll pay for it myself. I even bought something for him that he wanted. I'm having thoughts of does he think isn't a big deal and can just blow it off and expect me to be ok with it? That's not really a sign of respect and love if he does.
      Anyways, thank you for talking to me :) I'm sorry all my replies have been so long! I appreciate that you took time off your day.

    • No worries. Just talk to him about it and tell him how you feel.

What Girls Said 1

  • Maybe you should actually mention it to him. Maybe he has no idea how you feel about that. Maybe he thinks those things do not matter to you.


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