Why do his words not match his actions?

[JJm1234]

I’ve been seeing this guy for around 6 and a half months. Last weekend we had an argument because I said I wanted more intimacy with him. He took this as some personal attack. He tried saying that I said intimacy was more important than the food he makes me and the films we watch and that I apparently said his priorities were wrong. Those words never came out of my mouth. I said to him I wish we could prioritise the intimacy over tv or at least take 30 minutes out of the two days a week we have together to be more intimate. I said I don’t just mean sex but kissing and cuddling as well. It was him who brought all of this up because he made a point of us having ‘no action’ yet he never initiates anything with me. This has happened a few times now and I’ve normally bit my tongue, but I couldn’t do it any longer. Thus I ended up saying to him I wanted more intimacy. I was speaking calmly to him about it but it was like he didn’t want to talk about it. He then told me he does want us to have more intimacy but his words never match his actions as he’s said this to me a couple of times now. The argument went on over the weekend and on Monday I apologised to him a few times over it and he said he loved me and it was okay. The next day he was cold with me and the brought the argument up again. Yesterday he barely spoke to me and around the evening time he changed his WhatsApp picture from one of me and him to something else. I rang him up to ask him if everything was okay and he insisted it was. I never brought up the WhatsApp picture to him as I wanted to see what he said. He was telling me we was alright and I asked if he wanted to split up to which he said no. I was so confused because he had been off with me and then changed his picture. I kept apologising again even though I felt like I had nothing to apologise over. I didn’t think wanting intimacy with my boyfriend was a bad thing. After we got off the phone I noticed he changed his picture back to the one of us.

[Impalitteri]

It sounds like there is some confusion about the word intimacy. Some men do equate "cooking" as a more intimate action because it shows a softer side of them with cooking often being viewed as a feminine trait. It also opens them up to a lot of criticism. People show intimacy in different ways. I think the best thing the both of you could do is to have a conversation about what intimacy means to each of you. If he felt he was being intimate, asking him to be intimate would feel like an attack or devaluing things he feels is are intimate. Have that conversation, establish what intimacy means.

[boggboss]

Clearly he has not got over the argument

[Wise4myage]

He sounds very flaky, so that would be one reason.