His body language does not match his words

[Anonymous]

This guy says that he does not want a relationship, which I believe him because his actions back it up. We were just sleeping together for quite a few months. I broke it off because I started having more feelings for him. He agreed with me and he also said that.."we both know that what we are doing isn't going to go further". Then he proceeded to tell me how someone is looking for me with all that I have to offer and all my great qualities. But why isn't it him?! And when I see him, his body language and eye contact shows me something else. We started to cuddle and he would get close then he would pull away. So is it that he's not ready or what? I would normally let it go, but my gut says there is still an amazing connection, sense of comfort but he won't let himself get too close and he is not married and doesn't have a girlfriend. Can a guy shed some light on this please?

[MrOracle]

A lot of girls don't seem to get this, but let me break it down.

HE. DOES. NOT! WANT. A. RELATIONSHIP. Not with you, and not with any other girl. Not in a box or with a fox. Not on a train or in the rain.

Many guys simply don't want to be tied down by a relationship, and have the obligations that come with them. How they feel about a girl simply doesn't matter for them; they STILL don't want a relationship, PERIOD.

Your problem is that you refused to accept that in the beginning, and still refuse to accept it now, because you're a woman, and nearly all women WANT relationships. Many guys do to, but a sizable chunk of guys just DON'T, and nothing ANYONE will do will make them change their mind about that. Even falling deeply in love won't change that. It just won't. The "why" really doesn't matter, anymore than the "why" of him liking blue as his favorite color, or spaghetti as his favorite food. It just IS.

The real lesson here is: you are like most women, in that you cannot have a FWB relationship without developing feelings for the guy. That's NORMAL. And because of that, EVERY TIME you choose to get into a FWB anyway, you are going to end up hurt and confused, because how YOU feel will change (you'll want a relationship), and how HE'LL feel will NOT change (he still just wants sex, and nothing more). Thus, if you agree to a FWB, you are doing so KNOWING that you're going to get hurt in the end. It's FOR SURE going to happen.

So, quit having sex unless you're in a relationship FIRST. Then you won't have this issue, because the guy will have proved, UP FRONT, that he WANTED a relationship.

Yes, that means many guys you're attracted to will be eliminated by this rule, and THAT'S THE POINT. Just because you like a guy doesn't mean you can have a relationship with him. He has to want it too, AND he has to be compatible with you. Your feelings for him are NOT enough to make it work on their own.

Next time a guy tells you he isn't looking for a relationship, BELIEVE HIM, and NEVER allow yourself to believe that you are going to be able to change his mind, because 99.9% of the time, you're gonna be wrong, and YOU are the one who will pay for your mistake.

[TedStar]

This is such a beautiful and truthful answer. +1

[yopyopyop]

MrOracle said it quite well.

He probably likes you and all, but he knows that if he gets back with you, the relationship issue will come back, and sooner than later. So he doesn't want you to get hurt, and backs off.

[Anonymous]

he doesn't want to be tied down to you, that is his mental decision, it doesn't mean he isn't attracted to you but it won't go to a relationship so it is best to give up