So I'm Nigerian and I'm 18. I'm currently a college freshman and majoring in nursing. I met this guy in November, and we have been talking since. He's 23, currently in a master's program, and is Sudanese. Now I have never had a boyfriend before or a guy friend in a long time. I mostly keep to myself and study lol. That's why I am surprised that someone is interested me. He's nice, funny, and understanding. We share a lot of the same values. Although I do like him, I told him I want to take things slow before even entering a relationship due to school and all. So I told my mom about him and she wanted to at least know who I'm talking to. The only thing that makes me upset is she was like, "I want you to marry someone in your profession" and "You know Sudanese is muslim" Like what the heck. He's not even Muslim, he's Christian. What if I do not meet someone in my profession? I'm very close with my mom, so I do not want anything to strain the relationship. But I'm just confused. I CERTAINLY do not want a marriage like my parents. My dad barely shows her affection and they fight almost every day. They did not even date for a long period of time. I'm scared that I'll be in a marriage like that. But what if he is the one? What if they can't get look past the ignorance? He honestly makes me happy as I haven't felt like this in a while. My dad doesn't even know and my mom was saying how he's going to be so angry. For what? My dad never gave me advice about boys or self-love. Also, my parents did WAY more things when they were my age. So I don't understand.
He was supposed to be meeting my mom tomorrow (as a friend) and I'm thinking about just letting it go.
Most Helpful Guy
Usually parents are just trying to help or are old-fashioned. I never heard of the marrying in your profession though. Are your parents in the same profession. I hope so because it sounds hypocritical.
I know you don't want to strain the relationship you have with your parents but sometimes you have challenge authority to get respect or to get them to see the error of their ways.3
Most Helpful Girl
Money reasons. Your line of study has to do with money. They want you to marry somebody who you can rely on financially in case you don't get to having a certain amount of money or be able to survive on your own. To be honest with you, this is your choice and decision. I don't know exactly where you live so I cannot say. I assumed you're in Africa. So I answered based on that. And if you're in the States or other Westernize country, 9/10x it's for cultural reasons. Also remember, you said your parents did WAY more stuff than you wouldn't have done. So it's based out of fear you would do the same thing. But only you know you, and only God would know what you would do. But the choice is still yours as long as it's the wise decision for both of you and the family.2