My girlfriend wants to sleep with another man and I don't know if I feel comfortable with this, am I being controlling? Please help me?

We are both in university and naturally I know people go to university to experience new things and meet new people but the thing is, is that she wants to sleep with a man of a different race to experiment and have the experience, we live in a majority white town so seeing different cultures participating is a new experience compared to your typical white bread town, i was totally against this but tbh she has a way of convincing people and now I feel really guilty about the whole thing telling me that I'm controlling her, I honestly was raised by my mother to respect women and to always listen and be nice to women no matter what, (I was raised by a single mother so I didn't have a father figure but male father figures aren't needed considering my mother loves me with all her heart and in my opinion raised me to be a respectful and confident guy and was able to do so without a man, so i understand where she is coming from and after I felt really guilty and i honestly actually felt like sexist, I'm a little bit scared right now because I don't want to be controlling or telling a woman what to do but at the same time I feel hurt that my girlfriend wants to sleep with another guy, can anyone please help me, I'm sorry if I came across as being controlling but I don't know what to do 😞😞😞. I asked this question in another forum but people called me slurs which made me angry but I want to get G@G opinion because I know that people here are much more understanding, thank you and i appreciate your time.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Please respect yourself and don't be a cuck. She's in a relationship with YOU, if she had intentions of sleeping around she should have made it known prior, so she has to right to fuck around without consequence.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Look if she wants to experiment or sew her oats great... just break up with her and let her do it. I don't know any man that would allow this to happen. I pray to god this is a real question too lol

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 13

  • i don't think there's anything wrong with you. your girlfriend, on the other hand...

    at least she was honest with you, in that she knows she's not ready to settle down. now you can break up with her and let her have this "experience" alone; if the two of you agreed to be monogamous (ie: only sleep with each other), cheating is cheating, regardless of how she tries to justify it.

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  • Sounds like she is trying to guilt you into thinking that you are controlling her, when really, she just wants to do what she wants.

    If she wanted to sleep around with men from different races, why did she get into a relationship? I feel like she is most likely to cheat on you.

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  • How are hoes like this getting boyfriends and I'm still single?

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    • You tell me.

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    • @singlebee I don't know you tell me

    • Lol trust me yesterday one of my friends who is completely unless person got a girlfriend ! And I was like wtf? I am so much better than him and I don't have one! Lol
      Though I am not putting myself or there so yeaa I am pretty sure if I start approaching would get a girlfriend. . lol :-D

  • So your girlfriend doesn't want to be committed to you. If you want a monogamous relationship that's perfectly acceptable. Break up.

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  • lol that's not being controlling. She's Your girlfriend you have the right to not want her to sleep with other people. You 2 should talk about it, maybe You 2 want different things for yourselfs...

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    • Yeah he wants a girlfriend and she wants a multi ethical football team to play ball on her field.

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    • yeah I don't care what she wants just hate when people hurt others because of it. She could just say she don't want to be with only one guy from the start. So the guy would knew what he's getting into.

    • I agree with that

  • You shouldn't feel bad about this and I honestly think it's very disrespectful for her to even ask you such a thing

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  • Aww. i mean how well do you know this girl. how long have you been together? i see what she's saying but she shouldn't be calling you controlling. its totally up to you. tell her it hurts and if she doesn't respond well maybe she's not the right person for you.

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  • if she doesn't respect you or isn't loyal to you, you need to let her go.. she is just using a lame excuse to cheat.

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  • No, you're been controlled.

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  • To be honest, what your mother and your university are teaching you is sexist. They're teaching you to be nice and respectful to someone just because they are a woman, whether they deserve your respect or not or whether they treat you with the same respect. I'm not saying go around being rude to people until they earn your respect but you should give a little and take a little at first until you know they are worth all of your effort. A girlfriend who is willing to put sleeping with someone else for five minutes over the feelings of a boyfriend that she already has without considering his feelings first, isn't worth your respect.

    When they're teaching you not to tell or to care who women sleep with, that doesn't mean that you can't set standards and expectations for your own relationship.

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  • aren't you being a pussy?

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    • This is the average young man now. Thanks, feminism.

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    • @Asker Relationships are partnerships nowadays, you know? We don't live in ancient Rome, where women were actually the property of the Pater Familias. It's the current year! We're not oppressed in 1st world countries.

      Clearly, you're willing to let women walk all over you. Since you're a guy your opinion and your own wishes don't matter, it seems. I was not aware that women alone can decide how relationships work.

      For starters, the definition of sexism is "prejudice, stereotyping, or discrimination on the basis of sex". How is monogamy sexist?

    • Asker, you can't be real. Part of a relationship is controlling the other to an extent otherwise it's like a country without borders

  • Break up with her

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  • if she wants to sleep anther guy let her sleep after breaking up

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What Guys Said 31

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  • Let her bang whoever and walk away from the relationship. If a woman thinks she can be in a relationship with a man and screw other guys then she thinks he's a pussy anyway and is just stringing him a long. Take a look in the mirror and see why she thinks your not a man and do something about it, concentrate on building yourself into a man you can respect and that a woman wants.

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  • Its not controlling to expect some one to respect you and your relationship. Clearly she does not especially when she is blaming you for her wanting to cheat. Break up with her, clearly you don't matter to her enough to be faithful or to care how her actions will impact you so you need to move on.

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  • Im sure if you tell this to your mom, she will tell you to dump that slut on the spot.
    Dont believe me? Try it.

    Its kinda sad that men these days act like this.
    A century ago, a woman wouldn't have dared to ask her man something like this. They had something called respect

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  • She's YOUR girlfriend if you aren't comfortable with it make that clear. if she can't deal with that then you're better off with someone else to be honest. I'm sorry to hear that you're in this position. wanting to experiment is fine but having your SO sleep with someone else isn't okay.

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  • What were the arrangements of your relationship? Did you agree to an open or semi-open relationship with her at some point? If not, you need to talk with her and express your concerns again. I can understand her both desire and your concerns, but if you can't cope with what she wants to do, the relationship might well be over.

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  • Come on man, you got to MAN UP and start being sure of what you want in the reltionship, your girlfriend should be in the same page and it isn´t the case, so ask yourself, is that the relationship you want to be in? If it´s not leave it clear to her and ask her if the desire she has is something she could overcome or not.

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  • I feel sorry for you. Feminism has destroyed you and many of your contemporaries. You have no self-respect, and it's going to be a hard road to cure yourself.

    First, dump this girl.

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  • Dump her ass right now. She's a smarmy little worm beneath contempt,

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  • What the fuck is that dude? And do u even thinking about it? It means "cheating" she is your woman how can u let some other man bang your woman? I'd definitely dump that bitch for coming up to me with this idea, because its for sure that she doesn't care about you and wants the D from other men, she is bored of you and she fantazises about other guys. Ofcourse you will be controlling if situation came to this, u are man at all and u will have your own rules.

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  • Is it something you can live with? If you can't, then you need to stand firm. It's not being controlling to not let your girlfriend have sex with other men. You have every right to tell her that she can't and if she doesn't like it then break up. If it's something you can live with, I won't tell you how to run your relationship. Do what you feel is best for you and live with your decision because you're gonna get hurt either way.

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  • Polygamous man here telling you that you're not being controlling if you feel that it's not acceptable for your girlfriend to sleep with other men.

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  • Another troll question.

    Looking forward to G@G opinion being 'more understanding', mate.

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    • The other opinions were more understanding maybe you should show some kindness friend, I'm sorry if I did something wrong and I didn't mean the first part of my sentence in the wrong way but yea I'm rambling here sorry.

  • Your girl is expressing hoe tendencies. Drop her. Like real talk. Move on to someone who wants only you

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  • This is nothing about you being controlling. This is about you being a cuck.

    Break up.

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  • She can sleep with him if you two break up.
    You, it's repeat, YOU ARE NOT BEING CONTROLING.
    In fact I would dump her ass for even asking that.
    How would she react if roles where reversed?
    That question right there will end this discussion.

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  • Why don't your just dunno her? Man she is such a slut that she isn't even capable of being a girlfriend... Who do you wanna be with a girl who if unfaithful manipulative worthless waste of space?

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  • I am sorry to hear that... She is not your " Property" neither married to her.
    Its her reputation for having sex with different men... So, forgot her and find somebody whom you will like better.

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  • looooool holy shit. break up with her and never talk to her again. that's super fucked up of her to do. find someone better.

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  • Dude. you need to dump this bitch

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  • Break up her or let her do it only if you get to bang another girl

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  • she is ur girlfriend and it's not her right to do this... whatever she name it..
    and u r not controlling her in this.. and suppose if u don't stop her this time.. who says it won't happen again? bcoz u didn't stop her the first time... so better stop her NOW.

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  • she's trying to control you man. Put a stop to it or lesve her.

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  • If you let her do it?

    Then you should change your username to "Cuckold4Life"

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  • If you don't feel comfortable with it let her know. If she persists, perhaps it is time to move on.

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  • Ask her if you want to sleep with another foreign girl. I'm surprised she isn't "experimenting" with another girl as both are unacceptable to me! I don't want a non-monogamous whore or a bisexual girl!

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  • She's a manipulative monkey lover. And you sir, are a cuck

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  • dude dump her omg , you deserve someone better.

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  • You may wanna try giving an open relationship a shot. I've had a couple, and they were some of the best I've had. Not because of the freedom that I had, but because we were able to talk about more with each other, therefore, I felt like there was a deeper understanding between us. It would definitely be interesting to see how she would react to the proposition when she realizes that you can do what you want if that was agreed upon. But yes, at least she was honest with you. I imagine it took a lot of courage on her part to just tell you. That being said respect her for it and don't be spiteful.

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  • She's got a lot of nerve. Tell her if she wants to experiment then that gives you the right to experiment too. If she wants to sleep with another guy then tell her the relationship has to finish. She can't have her cake and eat it too.

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