How soon is too soon to move in together?

[asheslee]

Moving in together is a big step, but at what point should it be considered? How soon do you think is too soon to consider moving in together?

[RJGraveyTrain]

Honestly if you barely know em', don't do it.

However in my situation I moved in after 5 months because that's how things worked out. My then room mate got engaged and wanted to live in the apartment we shared alone with her new fiance. She wasn't booting me out but I wasn't in the best financial state to get my own apartment in the city, it's expensive here. I could swing it but it'd be hard to save money.

My boyfriend invited me to stay with him, and I intended to make it temporary. However in the following months we got on so well that he wanted me to stay, so I did. We were lucky in that we communicate well and don't really argue, we listen to each other and made it work without much of a hitch.

[asheslee]

I completely understand. My situation with my husband was similar. We moved in together after 6 months. My roommate was moving, he was already staying over a lot, and it was time for me to either get another roommate or for him to move in. It worked out, so yay!

[RJGraveyTrain]

Huzzah!

[Anonymous]

I think it varies from relationship to relationship. I know a couple who moved in together after 1.5 years together and I know another who lived together under five months of dating. Personally if I was seeing someone for six months or more and suggested it I would consider.

[Justacatlady]

Anything under 8 months is too soon. That's just past the honeymoon stage and your just getting to really know the person. I think ideally after a year of dating it should be talked about

[Justacatlady]

Thanks

[Brokenheartedx]

Anything under 6 months is to soon, even under a year is to soon but you have learned each other's bad habits so should be used to it..

[sp33d]

If she said something like ".. why we bullshitting?" after the third date, I am taking off.

Moved in together after 3 months with my ex. I'm kind of surprised, in retrospect, how short of a time it actually is. I just got lucky, I suppose. It takes months for me to develop genuine feelings for someone, so moving in together should miles away, still.

[asheslee]

😂Why we bullshitting? You KNOW this is DESTINY! Don't be scared. We should fly to Vegas. It will be romantic. Don't Deny Your Feelings!!! 🤣

[sp33d]

I have met women that have their "go to" story they try and make me buy so I would "soften up" or something. There was this woman that said she dreamed about me (well, someone remarkably similar to me) for years, then someone claimed we have met in our previous lives.

.. if it wasn't so fucking hilarious, I wouldn't play along, but god damn, curiosity sometimes gets the better of me :D

[asheslee]

OMG... this is rich! Thank you for sharing!

[madhatters4]

i think if you are in love with the person and have both begun to see each other as partners for life that's when you can start to consider moving in together. so as this typically takes time i'd say as early as 6 months i guess you could consider but for me after 10 months is when i would start thinking about moving in together.

[AI Opinion]

How long should you wait before moving in together?

The answer to this question is not as simple as you may think. There are many factors to consider before making the decision to move in with your significant other.

Here are a few things to keep in mind:

1. How long have you been dating?

If you've only been seeing each other for a couple of months, it may be too soon to take this big step. You want to make sure you know each other well enough before making a long-term commitment.

2. Are you on the same page?

It's important to make sure you're both on the same page when it comes to your relationship. Are you both ready for this next step?

3. Can you afford it?

Make sure you can both afford to move in together. It's not worth putting yourselves in a financial strain just to live together.

4. What does your gut say?

Sometimes the best way to know if it's the right time to move in together is to listen to your gut. If you have a feeling that it's too soon, it probably is.

Ultimately, there is no right or wrong answer to this question. It's important to weigh all of the factors and make a decision that feels right for you and your relationship.

How do you know if it's too soon to move in together?

There's no one answer to this question since it varies for each couple.

However, there are some general things to consider that can help you decide if you're ready to take this step:

• First, think about how long you've been together. If it's only been a few months, it's probably too soon to move in together. You want to make sure you know each other pretty well before making such a big commitment.
• Another thing to consider is your financial situation. Can you afford to move in together? Do you have enough income to cover all the bills and expenses? It's important to be on the same page financially before taking this step.
• You should also think about your relationship goals. Are you both on the same page about what you want in the future? If you're not sure, it might be a good idea to wait a bit longer before moving in together.
• Finally, ask yourself if you're ready for the commitment. Moving in together is a big step and it's not something you should do lightly. Make sure you're both ready for the implications of living together before taking the plunge.

[George92]

Some people takes few months, others need years, anyway I would say at least one year/one year and a half, in order to get a certain amount of certitude to know most of your partner's habits well enough .

[Christian95]

This is really a relationship to relationship perspective. Some people are immediate, some take years. Don't rush into anything in a relationship. Just let it happen in time.

[Dragon2109]

Before marriage. There's no reason to be in the same house before. That just makes everything complicated if you ever decide to break up or etc.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

I believe moving in together after marriage.

After meeting someone and dating after two weeks both should already know will they get married or not. Otherwise both are just wasting each other's time.

[Justacatlady]

In two weeks?
If I would have married the guys I dated for two weeks, I would already have been divorced 10 times. Two weeks is not enough time to truly know someone.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

@Justacatlady: Because you were messing with wicked men. I get down to business fast. I don't have time to waste. I tell the woman all my good traits and bad traits from the beginning to let her know what kind of man I am.
BF/GF is for young teens.

I'm into marriage.

Besides it's ridiculous to think you can spend months or years with Someone and not think they will change on you after marriage.

[Justacatlady]

And how has that worked? Are you married?

[George92]

Man , it's not about being immature, it's about that is statistically impossible to know everything of the other person with enough certitude in 2 weeks only. You risk to get married soon and get divorced sooner lol.

[redeyemindtricks]

Well, 2 weeks certainly isn't enough time to see how someone handles adversity... and allocates personal space... and resolves conflicts... and treats people when he's annoyed... and picks up the slack when you're sick... and gets along with yr friends... and yr family... and travels with you... and etc.

That said...
... Sometimes you just know.

I was a betrothed woman after I'd only spent about 12-13 days total WITH my man. (It had been about 4-5 months since I'd met him, but, we were long-distance and only saw each other 3-5 days every 4-6 weeks.)
And my marriage is a dream come true -- both the **sigh** daydream kind, and the filthy wet dream kind.

And I have a girlfriend who MARRIED her husband literally the same week they met... and they just had their 10th wedding anniversary, and they're still all over each other like 13 year olds. ahah. and this is a woman who loves drama so much that she'd "only start a relationship so she could have another breakup", as we'd always tease.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

@redeyemindtricks: Life isn't roses. Problems come, problems must be fixed.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

@Justacatlady: Hopefully very soon. I just am focusing on my personal goal right now.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

@George92: Life is a risk bro.

[redeyemindtricks]

"Problems come, problems must be fixed."

^^ true, but, there are certain fundamental incompatibilities -- which may take **substantially** longer than 2 weeks to materialize -- that are surprisingly reliable indicators that you'll be miserable together.

in terms of "problems being fixed", everyone has a "set point" stress level -- and a "set point" activity level -- at which they're most comfortable.
if someone who's MOST comfortable with high-stress, hectic, busy circumstances marries someone who's super chill and likes lots of time spent doing nothing... that marriage will be hell on earth. etc etc.
same for communication styles (confrontational vs passive, upfront vs. when things get bad, talk a lot vs. talk a little, etc).

also 2 other SUPER important things you may not discover in such a short time:

• Big differences in cleanliness standards = FORGET IT. DO NOT EVEN TRY.
If a neat-freak marries a slob... MISERY on both sides.
The ideal situation here would be for teh neat freak

[redeyemindtricks]

to do the majority of the work (since it simply **matters** more to that person) -- but, inevitably, that will ubild up resentment. so, the slob gets roped into doing 50% of the work toward a stupidly (as they see it) high standard, FOREVER. more resentment. bad rl. not gna work. trust me.
... esp because neat-freaks also tend to retain grudges about that sort of thing, while slob types tend to *not* retain them -- and get exasperated when old issues are brought up. do not mix.

ANd

• if one person is a "scheduler" and an "organizer" of time -- like, the type who would want to go on vacation with a tour group where every minute of everything is literally on a schedule, including waking sleeping and eating -- and the other person is the spontaneous type... ahhahah misery.

etc.

Sexual incompatibility is also DEATH for the high sex drive partner, too. Which you can't tell if you wait until marriage for sex. Waiting until marriage for sex is a bad bad bad bad bad very bad idea.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

@redeyemindtricks: That's why I said I'm upfront from the beginning and I sure as hell expect the same honesty in return.

[redeyemindtricks]

I mean look... **IN SPIRIT** I'm with you here. Sooo totally with you.

• I think the idea of getting married with reckless alacrity -- just throwing yrselves into it, and sticking to it for LIFE -- is fucking hot as hell.

• Also, I think MOST people -- even women -- have NO IDEA just how much waiting (and watinig and waiting and waiting) for a proposal makes a woman's enthusiasm, and her HEART, start to languish and rot away.
Like... I rlly don't think people shd even bother getting married if it's been more than, say, 3 or 4 years. That's ultimately going to be poison. I wrote a LOTTTT about that here (woman's MHO):
www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q2310175-what-are-your-thoughts-on-marrying-at-a-younger-age

... ANd yh, if you commit after 2 weeks, then obviously "loss of enthusiasm" isn't a problem. And if you're like my girlfrineds who got married that fast -- and like me and my h (if you only count the days we spent in each other's company) -- these

[redeyemindtricks]

fuck-it-let's-DO-it marriages are all HOTTTT.

... but, remember, MOST people are HORRIBLE at introspection, and have very close to ZERO self-awareness.
*** IF YOU ASK MOST PEOPLE WHAT THEY WANT, THEY'LL *TELL* YOU THINGS THAT DON'T MATCH WHAT THEY REALLY WANT, DEEP DOWN. ***
... And NOT because they're being dishonest.
It's just because they're not **consciously** aware. For most people (who haven't struggled with debilitating psych issues), there would be no REASON to be consciously aware of this.

Srsly. Find some peolpe who are on their 2nd marriage (which is almost always better, happier and more fulfilling than the first one).
Ask them about... what they would've said they wanted before marriage no. 1. Ahahhaha get ready to watch them pour some stiff, stiff drinks and throw 'em down like it's college again.

Most people have NO IDEA AT ALL what "compatibility" is, until their feet are on the ground -- on the *same* little piece of ground -- for a while.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

@redeyemindtricks: Yeah, I sure hope I don't come in contact with a liar. And are you married?

[redeyemindtricks]

Like I said, lying isn't the problem. This isn't something anyone would rlly be incentivized to lie about -- who would purposely sign up for years and years of misery?
That'd be as dumb as cheating on a placement test 😂😂

My 16th wedding anniversary is next month.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

@redeyemindtricks: Early happy anniversary.😊

[redeyemindtricks]

Thank you ♥️

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Living with someone 3-6 months after meeting them is too soon.
I would believe in waiting at least a year before moving in with someone.

[meatballs21]

Moved in with my girlfriend after 18 months, things couldn't be better.

[zombiebabe]

hm I don't know maybe if you feel like you're ready to share your personal space with your so

[Red88xxx]

Well to be honest I don't think it's ever too soon for me. But for most people too quick is a week to a month. Thanks for the invite

[MysteriousDarkness]

RedW88xxx Would you move in with someone after one date if it is still less than a week of knowing them?

[art84]

A year before you move in with someone. A week or 2 wouldn't do it as you would hardly know the person.

[beccaboo2]

I think after 2-3 years would be good. Either that or when you're engaged

[TacosRAwesome]

Less than 6 months.

[LastNightmare]

unless it is 4 months

[bunnyunicorn]

when your married...

[Anonymous]

before marriage is too soon

[Anonymous]

a few months

[main1225]

together