Late bloomer & have never kissed a girl

[Anonymous]

Hi everyone. I just turned 30 years old in May, but I've never kissed a girl. I've never dated a lot but I'm getting better and dating a bit more than before. But I've never kissed a girl.

What would girls think if you knew this? I'm not ugly or fat or anything like that. I was abused as a child and I've had a lot of depression, but I'm better than in my teens and 20s. It feels kind of embarrassing to talk about it, but if you don't talk about problems they never get better.

Should I tell a girl before I kiss her, or should I just kiss her quickly and get over it and worry about the details later? Should I tell her I've never kissed and ask her to teach me? Sometimes I think about lying and saying I've never kissed "a lot" to take some of the pressure off myself, but lying can cause problems later, so I don't know.

Everything about this is new to me and I don't know what's "normal." I know not all girls expect to make out or have sex soon, but do I kiss her at the end of the first date or the second date or what?

Any advice from anyone would be good.

Thanks for reading this.

Updates

+1 y

No girls have ever directly tried to kiss me. A few times I think they wanted me to, and put their face a little closer to me. But I kinda panicked. And I wasn't ready to deal with the abuse till I was about 25. Thanks for all the helpful comments.

[Rickd]

I'm 33 and also never kissed a girl. There are a lot people like us in the word (I'm from Brazil). In my case I really don't know why my life conducted me into this situation. I was obese in childhood and got lot of bullying. When I finally solved this problem (I lost 40 kg) girls and collegues still insisted that I was such a ugly guy, and I just started repriming myself isolating me from the society. I moved to another house to cut contact with those people (they were my neighboors). I fall in huge depression and dropped school, in the next years culminating in severe social isolation, until my father ask to work with him in his office. But I don't know why I still make contact with a girl, it's such a psych block. I falled in love for some girls but ever been rejected or ridiculed, the last one was friend of the family, under a lower social class, I falled in love for her but she not only rejected me, but ignored me (never called to say hi, but still calling for my mother who she consider a friend) and she finally married and invited my parents for the cerimoning but not me.

I really don't know, maybe those bad and offensive who called my ugly are right. I think I will die without know what a love of woman is. Sad life.

[Primrose21]

This is so sad.😢

[NotSoBad]

start with a kiss on the cheek man. take the girl out and when you say goodbye just lean in and give her a kiss on the cheek like you would your aunt. Say, "I had a great time and we should do this again" It's sweet and respectable. Who knows if you get that close she may even turn and kiss you! If not your set for the second date.

on the second date just be yourself. Stay relaxed. Try to flirt a bit and initiate some slight physical contact. If she reacts well to it then you probably have nothing to worry about. The key is to be comfortable! if you remain comfortable she will most likely remain comfortable. Start off slow and don't get to excited.

I remember my first kiss! I got so excited I hugged the girl! lmao then I was thinking WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING? lol

Remember it is important to be yourself and to be comfortable. There really is nothing to worry about. Remember you're a man and women DO expect a guy to try to kiss them!

[CJayne44]

The first thing you need to do is relax. Don't over think it. This stuff comes naturally, but you have to be relaxed. Let me also quickly say, you are NOT obligated to tell her that it's your first kiss. If you are on a date with a woman and it seems to be going good, she's smiling you're smiling and there is a connection then it would not be inappropriate for you to try to make your move in and kiss her. If you prefer to, you may also politely ask her if it would be alright for you to kiss her. don't over talk at this moment. Just make it simple. If she declines, it doesn't mean she doesn't like you it may just mean she doesn't want you to think she is "that kind of a girl." Sometimes it is best to build a friendship first. If she accepts your offer than go for it. If you are relaxed and open you will be able to sense where it is headed. If you have a bad first kiss, oh well! It happens to everyone move forward to the next ;)

[natia142]

That is nothing to be embarrassed about at all. I personally find it refreshing. The right woman won't see that as a detriment or a negative. You definitely don't need to share anything you don't feel is necessary, especially in the beginning stages of getting to know someone. But if the situation arises and you feel comfortable and need to express it, then do it. If she's weird about it, she wasn't the right kind of person for you to begin with. And kiss someone when 1. you feel ready and 2. you can sense the situation is right for it and she's into it as well. Go with the flow and don't let experience hinder your confidence at all. My first boyfriend was 29 and had never kissed much less dated a girl before. It was because the occasion never arose and he took dating very seriously. It didn't bother me at all. We figured it out together. Good luck!

[SuperFlanker]

Sorry to hear about all that. A lot of us would have no concept of what you had to endure. You should tell her ONLY when you feel absolutely comfortable with her, trust and all. Curiously, have an girls attempted to kiss you? I think you will instinctively know when the time is right to do it. It will come out naturally.

[Grandpsykick]

Do you want to kiss her? If yes, do it, don't worry about not knowing or knowing your body is going to take over so let it happen. As for the time, second date is usually the best, so try that. This also probably means you haven't had sex before, this you should tell her if it gets to that point, which it probably will. Most importantly, have fun, you and your partner should be playful and experimenting in your sex life, enjoy it.