3 dates no kiss - is he just not interested?

[Anonymous]

I've (29F) been on 3 dates with a guy (32M) I met online. We seem to click really well; we often text and make plans to go places. First date was 3 hours over coffee and pasteries; date two was a nice dinner; third date was a hike. He hasn't made any moves; we've only hugged. He's quite taller (6'3) than I am (5'4) so whenever he bends down to give me a hug I think he's going to kiss me and then he turns his head and I end up giving him a peck on the cheek (happened all 3 dates). He doesn't even give me a peck back. :( We made plans to go to some museums and parks but I'm beginning to wonder if he just thinks of me as a friend to hang out with. Should I wait one more date or just give up?

Updates

+1 y

After mulling this over, I think I'm just overthinking and letting my own insecurities eat at me. He's an absolute sweetheart. I'm sure he's just taking it slow; he confided that he was picked on and was overweight when he was younger. I also found out he told his mom about me, and we did talk a lot about our families on our last date. Those are good signs and I shouldn't let my own insecurities spoil my time with him. I'm going to let things flow organically and see where it ends up. Thanks! :)

[AdamThomas]

When I was dating I used to use this trick whenever I was a little unsure as to whether someone liked me or not. It worked every time near enough, I just thought I might as well try it rather than give up, because asking people on the internet doesn't usually give you a clear answer, you need to find out from that person.

So what I'd do is... I'd ask them what they thought of me and whether they liked me or not. I know, pretty crazy right? Mind = blown. It works though try it.

If you were a man I'd tell you to stop being a pussy, grow some balls and just ask already. You're making it more complicated than it needs to be, like a typical woman, looking for signs, hinting etc. Be more direct, it's a lot simpler.

[godfatherfan]

Sometimes it is really hard to read a woman. I have had this issue in the past as well. If she doesn't give me a clear signal that it is ok to kiss her, then I just wait for her to kiss me. Since you kissed him on the cheek, my guess is he thinks that your not ok with a regular kiss and he is waiting for you to be ok with it. So honestly, your either going to have to just kiss him, or ask him why he hasn't kissed you.
The best thing ever is when a woman has just grabbed me and said " I have really wanted to do this"... and just kissed me. I have had that happen twice... it was great...

[Asker]

I wasn't aiming for his cheek I was aiming for his lips but he kept turning his head away :/

[godfatherfan]

lol... but regardless it landed on his cheek. I had that kinda happen also. I met a woman for a "meet and get to know you drink" that all of us online people do. I have never kissed anyone on one of those. SO I went in to hug her, she thought I was going to kiss her, and she kinda kissed my ear lol...
but we ended up having sex the next date so not so much the same as your problem lol...

[Bfly004]

You are taking it too fast more than he is... he tries to give you a hug and you end up giving him a peck... you rushing into it can make him not feel as interested and even scare him away. 3 dates and you are wondering if you should give up because he hasn't kissed you? I can careless if im with a person for 6mths If I dnt feel the connection or the right time for it than so be it. I hate to think what you would do if he asked for sex.. say he kisses you the next date are you going to say.. its been 1 mth and still no sex should I be worried?
Come on girl value yourself.. stop showing him you are cheap

[Asker]

I didn't know a kiss was considered 'cheap' behavior. I'm not asking him to sleep with me I just want a peck in the lips and my hand held. :/

[Bfly004]

I said as well whats next sex? Than you would be considered cheap..
Overall you trying to constantly kiss him shows you are clingy when it's only been 3 dates.. nut to each its own you asked for people's opinion it is what is it.. do what you feel works for you lol

[Bfly004]

*but
Lol

[Camille777]

Is there a possibility he is gay and he's curious, still trying to figure his shot out? Orrrrr he could just be a really really respectful guy we read about in the books... hahahaha (ya probably not that) well all I can say is "why are you waiting for the guy to make the first move"? We are in different times and if you like hi and want to kiss him, and your both vibing... go for it!! What's there to loose? At least you will know how he feels by the way he responds to your 😘 kiss... good luck 🍀👍

[Quintessence]

When in doubt, ask. You're adults, not pre-teens. It's not the end of your social life to say something like, "so, do you see us as friends or do you want things to develop into something more?" or simply, "what do you want out of this relationship?".

[Apope16]

No!

There have been situations where i have been shy or scared and not kissed a girl i liked.

Maybe he was abused as a kid like me? Maybe he has anxiety?

Just kiss him girl!

[Pinay_ako]

What do you guys talk about when you together?

[errorgoodnameunfound]

If you able to kiss him on the cheek and he doesn't do anything back, he may not be rejecting you, just possibly respectful. You seem to both have fun on those dates and maybe he sees these as just dates or, he is waiting for your permission to go further/really wants to make sure everything is ok before kissing. I know most guys would go ahead and kiss all over. There are many many possibilities ranging from you just being friendzoned to him actually being smart and patient before going full out on a relationship. Definitely tell him you want to go further in the relationship and see what he says much like other people suggest. For all you know, maybe he's had past trauma with kissing or relationships. Possibilities don't end.

[10dsw]

Don't give up. Most of us go on dates with you just to fuck your brains out and ghost on you afterwards. At least here you have a guy who is clearly legitimately interested in a relationship.

What if he's shy? What if he doesn't want to be labelled a player? (Something that commonly happens now whenever a guy kisses a girl on a first date). Are you really going to be a dumbass and cutoff a potentially good guy?

[fashionguy17]

Back when I was single, when I used to kiss women on the first date, they used to stop seeing me and equated it to me moving to fast and wanting to fuck them (rolls eyes).

The girl I am dating now... I didn't kiss her until our 7th date. We have been dating for 10 months now.

Also, I haven't had sex with her yet. Every time I had sex with a girl quickly, our relationship would become purely based on sex. As a result, I'm waiting a year with this girl before we have sex, just so we can enjoy each other's company/personality to the fullest before we have sex.

If you rush things, the relationship will end quickly.

[somewheresomeway]

So she hasn't gotten turned off by your chivalry? I'm impressed. I really want that and I have tried it. But it always ended in cold rejection for me.

[fashionguy17]

@somewheresomeway

It takes a while. Last year, I went on a date once a week with a new until I finally found someone who was accepting of me. It takes time.

[btbc92]

He is trying to take his time. You can't expect everything to be all sexual, hot and heavy and then wonder, does he even like you. You went on three dates, that should be a clear sign that he does have interest. But if you're that concerned about it, you should not be asking strangers and ask him yourself if you are that interested in him. Don't rush him. If you feel he is too slow for you, then move on. All your insecurities you need to talk and speak to him.

[Matt-G]

Next date make it a hike and when he hugs you dont kiss his fing cheek girl!! Look him in the EYE as that giant dude bends down! GRAB his waist and keep his gaze on yours.. and if that giant fool doesn't grab your waist back squeeze his waist and make some circle rubs n keep looking!! Look expectant! And if that great lummox doesn't kiss you now then slowly lean your head dtraight into his and your hands need to move to his ass as you move closer and kiss HIM because he's either too stupid/nervous/conservstive/asexual to show you physical affection xx good luck soldier!!

[Asker]

I wasn't going for the cheek I was goig for the lips but he keeps turing his head

[Matt-G]

So follow the rest of the steps

[TripleAce]

Nope... some guys don't make bold moves cause how girls are always complaining about guys being overly touchy and move too fast

Some just don't do shit lol... so you kiss him hahaha

[lyannamormont]

Where do we find those interested guys who often make plans to take you out, spend good time with you, and not take things at a fuck level (or expect to take) on the second date? I need a guidance.

He seems like a good guy but shy. I would rather have a talk or make the first move by myself if I were in your shoes.

[Dreamweaver671]

You need to learn how to communicate. Your romance book idea of love will never come true.

[lyannamormont]

@Dreamweaver671 who said i dont know how to communicate?

[Frosteh]

How about you ask him instead of us? Seriously, start the relationship in a mature way by being honest and up front with each other. If the honesty scares him then massive red flag, dump him.

He might have a legit reason to want to take things slow.

[shy_girl96]

Give him one more date and if you still feel the same try talking to him. To me it sounds like he's either too nervous to kiss you or he really likes you and doesn't want to rush things so he's taking it slow, in which he is stalling from kissing you until he knows how you feel about him. Maybe try give him some hints that you want him to kiss you.

[MindYourEyes]

Sounds like he is taking it slow and is respecting you. That is great! He really wants to get to know you. I mean if you really want him to kiss you then you should make the move then and see what he does. It's the only way you'll get an answer to your question then.

[SarahsSummer]

Give it another date and talk about the relationship, how you like him etc. hopefully you get some good input that he IS interested. if he doesn't kiss you after that, you may have to be the aggressor or just be busy the next time he asks you to get together.

[Kaptin]

I'd suggest once more if you really think there's something. On or before your next date, talk to him about moving forward. It could be that he had a reason not to move too fast or he finds that first kiss awkward. I find it awkward at times as well so I usually try to get it over with asap.

[jp612612]

My instinct is that he's not interested. People romanticize about guys who "take it slow", but I feel a guy who takes it slow simply doesn't want the girl. I think you should keep dating him and what not, but start looking at other guys as you're probably right -- you just made yourself a new friend.

[rickygiove]

Try to make a move yourself, maybe he's just shy or inexperienced

[MusicMayhem]

Sounds like a pussy. If he won't step up and kiss you now, think in what other ways he'll not take the lead if you continue dating. Deprioritize him and date some real men. At least avoid contacting him for a couple of days, let him sweat a little and realise he screwed up not kissing you by now. Then if you haven't got any dates in a week or so go on one and maybe he'll be more forward. If not, leave him.

[Feels]

I can guarantee 90% chance this is happening is because he is taking things slow and respecting you.

Some guys know how OTHER guys act such as asking to smash on the first date things like that. I understand girls do LOSE interest when guys don't show enough or any affection.

I also think this is were that "Nice guys finish last shit comes from"
But if you are kissing him on the cheek to me that is a clear indication that he is nervous or unsure for whatever reason.

[Botchie]

I was prepared to say that my current girlfriend was the same way in that we didn't kiss until our 4th or 5th date. She didn't even hug me until the end of the 2nd date. I guess some people just take more time than others? I'd like to think that you're giving him pretty good hints with the pecks on the cheeks. Best of luck to you and hopefully it works out in your favor :)

[chrisbigman]

Not everyone is ready to kiss the same time you are, and he may not be sure if you are ready yourself. You need to remember that. Now, if you really want to kiss him, then kiss him yourself. When he goes in to hug you, grab his face and lay it on him. You should wait one more date. It's not likely he will dislike you kissing him. In fact, it would be rather rare. If he isn't ready to kiss you, then you'll know and just move on.