3 dates no kiss - is he just not interested?

Question

I've (29F) been on 3 dates with a guy (32M) I met online. We seem to click really well; we often text and make plans to go places. First date was 3 hours over coffee and pasteries; date two was a nice dinner; third date was a hike. He hasn't made any moves; we've only hugged. He's quite taller (6'3) than I am (5'4) so whenever he bends down to give me a hug I think he's going to kiss me and then he turns his head and I end up giving him a peck on the cheek (happened all 3 dates). He doesn't even give me a peck back. :( We made plans to go to some museums and parks but I'm beginning to wonder if he just thinks of me as a friend to hang out with. Should I wait one more date or just give up?

AdamThomas · Accepted Answer

When I was dating I used to use this trick whenever I was a little unsure as to whether someone liked me or not. It worked every time near enough, I just thought I might as well try it rather than give up, because asking people on the internet doesn't usually give you a clear answer, you need to find out from that person.

So what I'd do is... I'd ask them what they thought of me and whether they liked me or not. I know, pretty crazy right? Mind = blown. It works though try it.

If you were a man I'd tell you to stop being a pussy, grow some balls and just ask already. You're making it more complicated than it needs to be, like a typical woman, looking for signs, hinting etc. Be more direct, it's a lot simpler.

godfatherfan · Accepted Answer

Sometimes it is really hard to read a woman. I have had this issue in the past as well. If she doesn't give me a clear signal that it is ok to kiss her, then I just wait for her to kiss me. Since you kissed him on the cheek, my guess is he thinks that your not ok with a regular kiss and he is waiting for you to be ok with it. So honestly, your either going to have to just kiss him, or ask him why he hasn't kissed you.
The best thing ever is when a woman has just grabbed me and said " I have really wanted to do this"... and just kissed me. I have had that happen twice... it was great...

Bfly004 · Accepted Answer

You are taking it too fast more than he is... he tries to give you a hug and you end up giving him a peck... you rushing into it can make him not feel as interested and even scare him away. 3 dates and you are wondering if you should give up because he hasn't kissed you? I can careless if im with a person for 6mths If I dnt feel the connection or the right time for it than so be it. I hate to think what you would do if he asked for sex.. say he kisses you the next date are you going to say.. its been 1 mth and still no sex should I be worried?
Come on girl value yourself.. stop showing him you are cheap

Camille777 · Accepted Answer

Is there a possibility he is gay and he's curious, still trying to figure his shot out? Orrrrr he could just be a really really respectful guy we read about in the books... hahahaha (ya probably not that) well all I can say is "why are you waiting for the guy to make the first move"? We are in different times and if you like hi and want to kiss him, and your both vibing... go for it!! What's there to loose? At least you will know how he feels by the way he responds to your 😘 kiss... good luck 🍀👍

Quintessence · Accepted Answer

When in doubt, ask. You're adults, not pre-teens. It's not the end of your social life to say something like, "so, do you see us as friends or do you want things to develop into something more?" or simply, "what do you want out of this relationship?".

Apope16 · Answer

No! There have been situations where i have been shy or scared and not kissed a girl i liked. Maybe he was abused as a kid like me? Maybe he has anxiety?  Just kiss him girl!

Pinay_ako · Answer

What do you guys talk about when you together?

errorgoodnameunfound · Answer

If you able to kiss him on the cheek and he doesn't do anything back, he may not be rejecting you, just possibly respectful. You seem to both have fun on those dates and maybe he sees these as just dates or, he is waiting for your permission to go further/really wants to make sure everything is ok before kissing. I know most guys would go ahead and kiss all over. There are many many possibilities ranging from you just being friendzoned to him actually being smart and patient before going full out on a relationship. Definitely tell him you want to go further in the relationship and see what he says much like other people suggest. For all you know, maybe he's had past trauma with kissing or relationships. Possibilities don't end.

10dsw · Answer

Don't give up. Most of us go on dates with you just to fuck your brains out and ghost on you afterwards. At least here you have a guy who is clearly legitimately interested in a relationship.

What if he's shy? What if he doesn't want to be labelled a player? (Something that commonly happens now whenever a guy kisses a girl on a first date). Are you really going to be a dumbass and cutoff a potentially good guy?

fashionguy17 · Answer

Back when I was single, when I used to kiss women on the first date, they used to stop seeing me and equated it to me moving to fast and wanting to fuck them (rolls eyes).

The girl I am dating now... I didn't kiss her until our 7th date. We have been dating for 10 months now.

Also, I haven't had sex with her yet. Every time I had sex with a girl quickly, our relationship would become purely based on sex. As a result, I'm waiting a year with this girl before we have sex, just so we can enjoy each other's company/personality to the fullest before we have sex.

If you rush things, the relationship will end quickly.

btbc92 · Answer

He is trying to take his time. You can't expect everything to be all sexual, hot and heavy and then wonder, does he even like you. You went on three dates, that should be a clear sign that he does have interest. But if you're that concerned about it, you should not be asking strangers and ask him yourself if you are that interested in him. Don't rush him. If you feel he is too slow for you, then move on. All your insecurities you need to talk and speak to him.

Matt-G · Answer

Next date make it a hike and when he hugs you dont kiss his fing cheek girl!! Look him in the EYE as that giant dude bends down! GRAB his waist and keep his gaze on yours.. and if that giant fool doesn't grab your waist back squeeze his waist and make some circle rubs n keep looking!! Look expectant! And if that great lummox doesn't kiss you now then slowly lean your head dtraight into his and your hands need to move to his ass as you move closer and kiss HIM because he's either too stupid/nervous/conservstive/asexual to show you physical affection xx good luck soldier!!

TripleAce · Answer

Nope... some guys don't make bold moves cause how girls are always complaining about guys being overly touchy and move too fast  Some just don't do shit lol... so you kiss him hahaha

lyannamormont · Answer

Where do we find those interested guys who often make plans to take you out, spend good time with you, and not take things at a fuck level (or expect to take) on the second date? I need a guidance.

He seems like a good guy but shy. I would rather have a talk or make the first move by myself if I were in your shoes.

Frosteh · Answer

How about you ask him instead of us? Seriously, start the relationship in a mature way by being honest and up front with each other. If the honesty scares him then massive red flag, dump him.

He might have a legit reason to want to take things slow.

shy_girl96 · Answer

Give him one more date and if you still feel the same try talking to him. To me it sounds like he's either too nervous to kiss you or he really likes you and doesn't want to rush things so he's taking it slow, in which he is stalling from kissing you until he knows how you feel about him. Maybe try give him some hints that you want him to kiss you.

MindYourEyes · Answer

Sounds like he is taking it slow and is respecting you. That is great! He really wants to get to know you. I mean if you really want him to kiss you then you should make the move then and see what he does. It's the only way you'll get an answer to your question then.

SarahsSummer · Answer

Give it another date and talk about the relationship, how you like him etc. hopefully you get some good input that he IS interested. if he doesn't kiss you after that, you may have to be the aggressor or just be busy the next time he asks you to get together.

Kaptin · Answer

I'd suggest once more if you really think there's something. On or before your next date, talk to him about moving forward. It could be that he had a reason not to move too fast or he finds that first kiss awkward. I find it awkward at times as well so I usually try to get it over with asap.

jp612612 · Answer

My instinct is that he's not interested. People romanticize about guys who "take it slow", but I feel a guy who takes it slow simply doesn't want the girl. I think you should keep dating him and what not, but start looking at other guys as you're probably right -- you just made yourself a new friend.

rickygiove · Answer

Try to make a move yourself, maybe he's just shy or inexperienced

MusicMayhem · Answer

Sounds like a pussy. If he won't step up and kiss you now, think in what other ways he'll not take the lead if you continue dating. Deprioritize him and date some real men. At least avoid contacting him for a couple of days, let him sweat a little and realise he screwed up not kissing you by now. Then if you haven't got any dates in a week or so go on one and maybe he'll be more forward. If not, leave him.

Feels · Answer

I can guarantee 90% chance this is happening is because he is taking things slow and respecting you.

Some guys know how OTHER guys act such as asking to smash on the first date things like that. I understand girls do LOSE interest when guys don't show enough or any affection.

I also think this is were that "Nice guys finish last shit comes from"
But if you are kissing him on the cheek to me that is a clear indication that he is nervous or unsure for whatever reason.

Botchie · Answer

I was prepared to say that my current girlfriend was the same way in that we didn't kiss until our 4th or 5th date. She didn't even hug me until the end of the 2nd date. I guess some people just take more time than others? I'd like to think that you're giving him pretty good hints with the pecks on the cheeks. Best of luck to you and hopefully it works out in your favor :)

chrisbigman · Answer

Not everyone is ready to kiss the same time you are, and he may not be sure if you are ready yourself. You need to remember that. Now, if you really want to kiss him, then kiss him yourself. When he goes in to hug you, grab his face and lay it on him. You should wait one more date. It's not likely he will dislike you kissing him. In fact, it would be rather rare. If he isn't ready to kiss you, then you'll know and just move on.

meatballs21 · Answer

It is entirely likely that he likes you so much he's deathly afraid of making a move at the wrong time and offending you.

Tasos96 · Answer

You could just kiss him. It's common fucking sense. You obviously wanna kiss him, so just kiss him !!!

Girly1710 · Answer

I would just stop trying to kiss him and let him get there on his own time. Some people move more slowly in relationships. Doesn't mean he doesn't like you necessarily. Actually if he's hugging you he probably does like you a decent amount.

deroy · Answer

Aha he is playing it nice! Hold up and start playing it back. Next time when he tries to give you a peck, be ready and run your finger near his hand or the palm. But ya don play desperate to scare him off.

rxm_bxl · Answer

Ask him what's going on, whether you're friends or more. And then if more is the option chosen explain that he hasn't kissed you or you could make the first move, don't always wait for guys, if you want something go for it

saraj0508 · Answer

He may be one of those rare, respectful type of guys. you may make him nervous... Don't overthink it. If he is still asking you out on dates he is interested. My ex-husband didn't try to kiss me our first few dates and then we were married 1 year later. Granted he is my ex now; lol; but it was great while it lasted.

Browneye57 · Answer

Some men seem to be deathly afraid of the women. Half of your gender actually think all men are rapists. [shrug]

west555 · Answer

He is being patient and gentle.. All you need to do is ask 4 it or you go for it.

Maxine_Payne · Answer

It's hard to say... How long have you guys talked before going on the first date? If it hasn't been that long, it could still be in the "getting to know each other" stage and he's just taking it slow, wanting a solid friendship to build on.

Dargil · Answer

Some guys do go slow, especially when so many girls are so quick to make false accusations that can destroy a man's life and career. If you want him to kiss you, give him some body language "telling" him so. You girls know how this is done.

hunterzoloman655 · Answer

It could be has just old fashioned or maybe he doesn't feel the moment was right not everyone goes by the three date rule either way you're never going to know for sure unless you ask him out right

Anonymous · Answer

He could be just slower than other guys at it or trying to be a gentleman and not move to fast but yeah 4th date maybe you should just kiss him if he doesn't and see how he responds to it , we are usually trying to have sex on the third date already for most guys

ATuairiscean · Answer

That is a toughie - I would be inclined to suggest honesty and advise that you say you like him and want to take things further then see how he reacts.

Allebana · Answer

I find it strange that he didn't even kiss your cheek back but if you like him go out with him again, maybe dinner? and when he drives you home ask him aren't you gonna kiss me goodnight? 😘 :p

newlysingle1 · Answer

He likes you. He doesn't want you to feel he is moving too fast. Woman up. Kiss him first. If he doesn't kiss you back, then move on. I am slow to kiss when I am nervous around a woman I like, regardless of how good a time we have.

bente2 · Answer

I mean, he could be shy but seeing your ages you'd think he'd have at least somewhat dating experience. But then again, i'd expect a 29 yo woman to be able to ask a guy if he likes her.

azzntittiz · Answer

Maybe he's just not feeling it yet. Doesn't mean he doesn't like you, he could just feel like taking it slow.

Regular1 · Answer

You are rapidly putting yourself into the friend zone. At the end of the first date you were supposed to give him a BJ. The next time you two are together alone, reach over and under his parents and do what you should have done 3 dates earlier.

ramzi666 · Answer

Don't rush into making decision. He sounds like a gentleman and wants to earn your respect and its has only been 3 dates and he is still planning to go further which is a good sign.
Wish you good luck and i hope he is the right one for you.

johnnyB3 · Answer

Funny enough if you read the question I just posted I'm coming from the exact opposite side of this situation lol

mrsingle · Answer

Hmm, I'm just like him and much taller than my girlfriend, and I have social anxiety, and I kissed her on the first date and made the move. You could try to kiss him first and see how he reacts.

bleh012 · Answer

Maybe he missed his timing or wanna take it slow, you can either initiate it or after more time pass, ask why he hasn't kissed you yet lol

beautifulangel76 · Answer

That seems weird. I would think he's interested if y'all are still going on dates. Who asked who out though?

Zorax · Answer

He respects you, and he doesn't want to rush things.

didigo182 · Answer

I think he is interested (if he was not interested, he would not leave the house to see you). 21 century, feminism, women rights... and they still are uncapable of take a atitude.

kitty71 · Answer

At least you got 3 dates, I got one date, I made out on the very first date and no more dates afterwards, even if I sense he is attracted to me but he does not tell me upfront.

HikerDude · Answer

He sounds like a passive beta. Force him to man up or move on.

hkgranados · Answer

Give it a couple more dates. I don't usually kiss until the 5th or 6th date... that's just me :)

samhradh_leannan · Answer

If he wanted to kiss you, I don't see why he'd turn his head. My guess is that he's not interested.

HesaidShesaidNO · Answer

just take it easy, it will be good when he invest emotionally later. don't worry. Just enjoy spending time with him.

AlwaysBelieving · Answer

I think he's taking things slow (update) and doesn't want to rush things. Besides, since you said that he was picked on and stuff, he probably has some of that insecurities in his head still.

Anonymous · Answer

I kissed my ex on the first date and slept with her on the second day. That's why she is my ex now.

Anon-ymous1 · Answer

Seems like he may not be interested, honestly. No dude is that shy when you're showing such obvious interest.

NotSoOldGuy · Answer

I kiss only n a commited relationship, maybe he is the same as me, so dont give up but rather ask him why he dont kisses you

Anonymous · Answer

Geesh you just met the guy lol slow down. Give him time! Also make sure you're sending the proper signs and being vocal.

SuccessfulHornDog · Answer

Just ask him what his intentions are. Maybe he wants more but is a pussy

momo770 · Answer

If he does, would it be bad? Friendships are wonderful too.

Norsie · Answer

He seems nervous. Just be the driving force and kiss him.

philipph · Answer

Just talk with him about it - at least i would want that most in that situation...

therandomguy1 · Answer

He probably just wants to make sure you love him before he gives you the emotional commitment that a kiss brings.

3 dates no kiss - is he just not interested?

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