All a woman wants is not money. But his heart. His full commitment and dedication for life. Men today would rather play the field and run. Taking your virginity and heart along with him. So if many women are getting selfish, then this is why. Also if she has an intense personality or different, she will be isolated. Ever since I found out I was an INFJ, everything became clearer to me. My personality type is very rare and even rarer for males of my type. It makes a lot of sense. And now. I know what types of the MBTI I attracted in the past. On both on peer level, friendship, etc, and how it played a role in my choices. So I say for others who are going through some tough times, ignore them. Stay strong. You're doing right in being own your own. Everybody will not be able to take care of you for YOU. You know you love. And you no your not crazy. Don't let other people define who you are.
And besides, even if you had it all, as they say. If that person doesn't chose you for You, that's it. Your alone. And that is just the reality many have to live with. And we suffer. By ourselves, with others assuming, judging, don't get it, or even care. It's heartbreaking, and others just eventually had enough. My aunt, heading towards 50 always wanted to marry. Have the same problem. Now that she's heading up there in age, other family members mock her. Same as others in church over the church. How others view you influences others who heed to rumors. Thus turning away perspective partners. You approach, your at fault. You don't, your at fault. There is no win. Your either fit for it, or you don't.
over the years*
We are simple creatures. If we like your face and body, we're ready to commit.
And I'm not interested in a guy who only want me for a pretty face. Thats fake. I've seen real love. I've seen real men. And I'm not buying that crap. By you saying that your only committed to one thing: sex. Too worldly. I shut down many, and get told off in return. Again, don't need fake for pleasure. Holding ones hands is enough for me.
If he wants sex then he has to marry me, or that's it. I'm not sinning because he wants to fool around. He can find somebody else. I now have a dead mother because of sexual sin which lead her to get HPV, and she died of cancer. I'm not stupid and desperate all because a man lacks self-control. That s why I told all of them that I rather be friends first and then decide if their worth dating. I don't need somebody who believes in premarital sex and or have no desire to change. I rather end it right then and there. Not date just to find out I made a mistake, because I was lied to.
I understand why you'd think that. But if you aren't pretty to begin with good luck getting a guy to fall in love with you.Everything starts from physical attraction.. You think he'd have am emotional bond with you from day one? Once a man falls in love with you, he starts spending less time thinking about fucking you and more about simple stuff like holding hands with you, but this doesn't happen on day one.It takes love for a woman to fall in lust and it takes lust for a man to fall in love.
Sorry. Still not buying it. I don't expect anybody to fall in love with me. Falling in love is fleeting. Lust is in the dust. I clearly just told you. I believe in starting out as friends first. Always have and always will. Besides. I'm celibate now. I have up years ago. As I said, I have different views. And I don't want a lustful man. Once you love a person, lust is never on your mind. I rather walk. I don't expect anything from men. I never asked to be pursued. My reasons as a child growing up were wrong. Now I stay out of it. No. Everyyhing doesn't start by physical attraction. I sense something is wrong with you, I don't care how handsome you look, I'm out.
You poor thing.Do you even have a sex drive?
I can care less how a guy view me know. Back then I was insecure girl like most. Now, I had to stand on my own two feet. I've been prepared to live alone. And if others dont like it and respect my desires, then so be it. I'm off the dating market anyway. I'm not chasing them. I'm not desperate or miserable. When I say I love somebody, I mean it. And yes. I do have a sex drive. Doesn't mean I hoe around. It's called discipline. Don't need your pity. Thanks. After all. We are all born as sexual creatures. Pretty stupid unless caused by illness not to have one.
I just don't the like you do. I would have gotten married at 18 if I could. But not just to any and everybody. So I don't know where you got this idea that just because I chose not to have sex, that I don't have a sex drive. Congratulations. You've just proved why I chose to be single. Judging me to not have a sex drive. From a male no less.
think like you do*
That's another reason why I stopped. The ignorance. Your attitude is the reason why I refuse to date. Those same boys treated me the same way you are now. Because you take another person's personal feelings and convictions as a joke. Then when that same girls doesn't want you or break up with you, you want to get upset or you don't know why.
Jesus dude..You carry way too much baggage. You honestly sound like drama, a man who worked hard all day doesn't want to come back to a woman who just can't give him love and take care of him. Honestly, it sounds like he'd have to care of you. No wonder why men don't bother with you."Now, I had to stand on my own two feet. I've been prepared to live alone. And if others dont like it and respect my desires, then so be it. I'm off the dating market anyway."Oh please.. you're 25 right now, you're still young, have a family and friends but once these friends get married and your family is not there anymore, when the reality hits you that there's no one who loves you, that you don't have kids. That's when you'll realize you fucked up and it's not as easy as you thought it would be.
See. This is why I don't say anything. You think it is all about me? It's not. I was never like this. I already told you I am not interested anymore. When are you going to get that throught your head? I am Christian, that's number 1 Number 2, who says I need a guy to come home and take care of me? Again, you judge me for something you don't understand. My needs are different. I already know I had problems. That is another reason why I gave up. Because so cannot be responsible for that kind of life. You think I want drama in my life? No. That is another reason again for me being single. So how dare you accuse me of being drama.
You don't know what I am capable of. How can a woman take care of a man when it's supposed to be men to be the head of the household. A woman cannot be a woman if a man is not ready to be a man first. That's number 1. I know what marriage implies. And I cannot be responsible for that. If you actually paid attention to what I originally wrote, you would not be saying the things your saying. I am not going to be waiting till 30, 40 ,50 just to grow up. I desire peace in my life. I know better than to bring my baggage into somebody else's life. I gave it up to God already. This is me expressing my hurt. As well as others hurts. And you dare to call it baggage.
And I told you I am sick. I also need to go to college. I had to put my life on hold to be a caretaker to a sick parent. My parents, The Lord, and family life and education is far more important than a man. Plus, I live through everything I said everyday. Everyday. If your not a loner, and you don't think differently from the world, then you don't understand. Because you never lived through it. So you judge something you don't understand.
Besides I have married friends, and even was a maid of honor to one who I consider a sister. All of them got married between 18-24. Still married, and happy with kids. Most not Christian. Goes to show what you know. Nothing. I fear somebody hurting me that will God forbid lead to an unnessary divorce or my death, more than being alone.
"My parents, The Lord, and family life and education is far more important than a man."What if that man happened to be your husband? He'd be your last priority? If that's how you're willing to treat your lover, then good fucking riddance. I'm glad you're alone and deservedly so.
I'm not called to marriage anyway. See your not a Christian. So what you say is irrelevant. God comes 1st, Jesus comes 2nd, the husband comes the next, then the wife, and after the child. That is the order God have made it to be. God has to be my priority. Not a man. If I can't focus on God, how can I focus and please my husband? To live my husband as he should be loved? It's impossible. Every Christian who studies the Bible, knows this. 1 Corintians 7 is very clear. It it wise for a man not to touch a woman. But because there is so much sexual immorality, let every man have his own wife, and the woman her own husband. Also to point out. AI chose to be a eunuch for the Lord. It is now my choice. I wouldn't dare mistreat my husband like he's a piece of crap out my backside. Why would I do such an evil thing?
Maybe that's how your jealous butt thinks. I don't. So by you saying everything you just told me now, don't give me that BS you tried selling me earlier. You're the very definition of fake. Your what we call a heathen. I stand on 1 Corintians 7. Read it, memorize it, understand it. I feel sorry for any woman who gets involved with you. You'll break them.
this is why so many Christians are advised not to date and marry somebody of the world.
a Godly Man has to be a shepherd and learn to grow and strengthen his relationship with his wife through the Lord. a Godly woman knows that she is called to love and honor her husband no matter who he is or his background. a woman cannot lead herself. that is how many women get into trouble, and then want to blame a man for her problems. if I say I'm committed to somebody I don't back down I'm committed to them for life. but I refuse to be involved with somebody who's going to desert me at the last minute. you must like disloyal people. I don't. I take dating relationships as well as marriage far too seriously. now my heart rate is up and I already got asthma. I am done stressing myself out trying to explain things to you.
I'm not a christian but i am religious and God comes first before anyone to me as well, obviously, But whatever..I'm done talking.I hope you find whatever it is that you're looking for.
@ btbc92 I guess i am one of these serious men out there.Still i would only want you as a friend - not more...Because i highly value interdependence, deep connection, friendship and being fully accepted - my impression is (from the respective conversation) that i would miss traits i desire.To be more straight: my impression is that your religious ideas may have helped you grow - and still are holding you back to grow even more into a wonderful caring women.I can give you some ideas so you can try to experimentially fasify my claim - if you want 😃
I think I made it very clear that I am not religious. God doesn't hold people back. God helps you and mature. I already said I am celibate. It is choice like everything in this life is choice. I am not looking to be involved with anyone in this life. There is more to life than romance, sex or marriage. Some people are called to relationships. Others were not. As I said before, prior. My reasons growing up were not rational reasons. I wasn't even interested in that anyone. Open, yes. But not interested. I only seek friendship with people, and I now tell them straight that I am celibate. There is nothing wrong with being by yourself for life. Besides, I hate modern dating anyway.
You have to learn to be happy own your own before you can share that happiness with somebody else. I refuse to be involved when I no longer have a desire to be with somebody. I'll just hurt the person. They deserve to be with somebody who can provide that. I can't. And I refuse. Their needs are far more important.
And I'm leaving for another country hopefully in a few years. I'm not staying in the US. Over there I won't have to worry about being harassed in that way. They usually stay amongst their people especially if they can't speak English.
If anybody wanted to truly know what my reasons were for being open to date. It's because I always thought as a child by 10 that that is what you do when you grow up. By 12 I realized that my reasons were. I wasn't called an old soul or wise beyond my years for nothing. I also get people jealous and envious of me. That also speaks volumes to people. But my standards were are not impossible nor unrealistic.1. I asked for friendship first to get to know each other. They didn't want that.2. They approached me. Not the other way around. I'm already suspicious of their behavior. And I was 100% correct. They weren't good. I'm what you call the quiet person or the goody two shoes, some mocked. So I don't bother anybody who doesn't want to bother with me. I am stay on your corner, and I will stay in my corner type of person. I don't seek trouble. Peacemaker, yes. Risk taker and go-getter, future orientated, yes. But not a trouble maker.
3. I don't care about their personality. They can be less emotional. I wasn't looking for a silly or over the top guy. I don't have preferences physically. I accept whoever I'm attracted to and like. But the problem wasn't their looks or personality. It was their character and their views, values, morals, beliefs and principles that weren't aligned with mine. And not just that. They didn't respect mine. I supposed the best way to really describe who I am is knowing what the INFJ personality types look for in a partner. But I never looked for perfect. I only looked for understanding and acceptance.
I'm not the 'It' girl. Or the 'girl next door'. I'm not a feminist. But believe that every human being born on this earth have rights through God's rights. You don't need feminism to speak your mind in a respectful and honorable manner. He gave you a brain, use it. Nor stuck up or a so-called prude. I'm self disciplined and have self-control. Self-taught or autodidact in some areas. I am both outspoken and quiet. Love people but also love my personal space. I can be independent, but know when to humble myself and ask for help. I like to learn and do things for myself. And teach and nurture others. I fight your dreams no matter how impossible they are. This is who I am. I don't need a man or somebody else to validate me.
All I asked of them since THEY were the ones 'claiming' to like me, YET they are complete strangers was this.1. If I date, if's for marriage. If your not looking to marry, believe in divorce, or want a prenup. You can walk.2. Just because I am a Christian, don't believe in forcing ones beliefs on another. But if you try to mock me, or what I believe and can't handle it, it's over. 3. Don't expect sex or sexual activities. Never going happen unless married. If you already feel and know you want to be with me then be honest. But don't expect me to wait for you for years to get married, but you can try sexual advances. I will end the relationship that's and day if it's continuous. Too prude or religious? Sayounara. 4. If you lie to me after I've been honest. We're done.
5. If your into porn and have no desire to change or stop. We're never dating. Because I don't do that. All I ask is to stop if you expect to have sex with me. That is what a spouse is for. To share intimacy with. Not with your hand. 6. Especially. If you have 0 desire to change and do a 360. It's done. That's all. Nothing more and nothing less. Simple. I didn't need somebody wanting to waste my time. Don't want to marry at least in 2 years of dating, but complaining about no sex , etc. But say they like me. That's what I mean by fake people and users. the same kind of people that get married just to divorce or because they can't wait for marriage for sex. or ruined a relationship because they want a relationship hop. so like I said many times I don't mind being alone. I am prepared for that.
Wow - never got such a long response on gag 😃 thanks anyway - sounds like you value many things and would like to take care of yourself
The point is, I also have a hereditary disease that I have to think about that runs on my mom's side of the family rapidly. I now have to think about that as I can also get it as well. MS or multiple sclerosis is a degenerated an autoimmune disease. it breaks down your body mentally emotionally psychologically as well as physically. even if I was to get married and have children I have to think about what would happen if I get it and that affect my health. it skips me in a passes on to the children. well this guy is making judgments on something he doesn't even know about. all that would put a lot of stress on my body and my life. it's not worth it. they can leave me blind paralyzed or in a Walker like what happened to my mom, or God forbid in a wheelchair. you can be healthy one day and you can be in a wheelchair the next.
but meanwhile have the audacity to tell me how I'm full of drama, and how no man wants to deal with me because I want somebody to take care of me? I'm already aware of these things since I first became an adult. I don't need to be reminded and told my face.
Who wants to feel like a burden to somebody who doesn't know the meaning of responsibility? Let alone get married to somebody who may divorce or leave you because they can't handle it? People needs to seriously think about these things. This is real life. Not a fairytale you see on TV.
Sounds to me like you have quiet a burden to bear. How does it feel like for you to live with MS?
@philipph I don't have MS. The thing is I have been tested before, and the neurologist has said that I'm good. But since again, I can still get it at any given time of my life. I have to keep up with appointments. A lot of illnesses like Fibrocystic breast disease, fibroids, diabetes, etc runs in my family too. These people are far too unrealistic. People can be healthy young and get sick a few years down the line. Life happens. What will happen if she can never have sex, etc? Is sex that important you will abandon somebody after there is a chance that they can have a normal sex drive one minute, and lose it the following day. And perhaps forever. Real love doesn't work like that. Even though marriage is all about sex, it still requires love, patience, and understanding. Something you rarely see today. That happened to my mom, and it gravely affected her marriage since she had me. Being threatened with divorce every year all because of lack of sex. Not knowing all this time she was
sick and dying. With cancer no less.
I'm sharing my testimony because people need's to WAKE UP. Hopefully, can help others who alone and don't know how to move on and be happy. To understand. To learn and to be informed. To not judge a person if they have no desire to get to know others. Others shouldn't have to suffer because they want to do evil. Like I told many others. My late mom didn't ask to die. But because of her sexual choices at 13, she caught HPV. The warts no less. All by her 1st boyfriend who never told her that he had sex with 5 prostitutes before her. She found out by herself after getting the symptoms. She was afraid that I too would be infected when she found out she was pregnant with me when she met my father. I too was born out of wedlock. My family is far from Christian. And I didn't grow up in a 'religious' home. My mother was backsliding for years. My dad is also not Christian. I'm not Christian for the sake of it. I'm one because that is who I was born to be. I not only lost my mom, I lost my
grandfather 7 months after her death. He too died of heartbreak because he just lost his daughter. He was found dead in his apartment, and his body unrecognizable due to decay. Then this year earlier, I lost my dog. My mom's dogs of 3 siblings she told me to take care of. She didn't even make it to be 2 years. I have a lot on my plate. But I've overcame through somebody people believe don't exist. Many people would die from the experiences I've went through. Because they wouldn't be able to handle it.
So at the end of the day. Whether I get with somebody or not, I still have to live my life. God blesses you to wake up and live another day. Don't waste it. My mom never lived to 45. Time is short. I'm not stopping my life when I still have a purpose and a job to do. No matter how sick I get, or whatever tragedies that I happen's I still have to live and move forward. I will see my dead loved ones one day when it is my time. But for now, it is not my time.
I did everything for a girl more than someone can imagine , still she wants that guy who have used her. Girls do it too. There are very few good men are out there because many good girls want to have crazy fun in life , and others got hurt in the past now don’t want to date...
You have to be a lot smarter in your choices and learn when to hold back. Do not give a girl your everything until you are married and proven trustworthy. Period.
oh, and the reason it drives us nuts is exactly as stated. We figure getting into her pants was easy, and the proof is in the pudding, as it were, because that guy did it. Why couldn't we have been the closest to her when her first sexual whims arose? That could have been any of us, and that's the lucky guy. Stupid whims of fate...
Actually sad you threw the AIDS thing in there, that's not funny. Ironically I wondered how many people thought that of me when I went celibate for four years. They can't believe you'd be able to get easy sex and reject it being perfectly fine, shit happens.
A shadow of bitterness falls on all your possible reasons.
@SarahsSummer I have no bitterness towards women. I think most women want to get married eventually and I don;t think it is pathological is a woman does not want to get married. Most of the reasons I can imagine are negatives because I have a positive opinion of marriage.
I dont think he's being bitter. He threw out some ideas and i agree with most of them, except lesbian. She can be lesbian in a relationship
@azzntittiz I don't think he was joking about AIDS.
"Actually sad you threw the AIDS thing in there"Who says he's trying to be funny? His list makes perfect sense.Why would anyone ever want a relationship with someone who tested positive for AIDS?
@azzntittiz I didn't include the AIDS reason as a joke! There is nothing funny about HIV/AIDS.
I don't understand why someone would have taken that as a joke in that context.
@itwasmelaniasfault The majority of his reasons are negative; may have negative connotations. Most of us can easily think of 10 positive reasons why a girl might be single. Earning a graduate degree; completing an internship or residency; saving money to buy a house; paying off student loans; traveling; active duty/deployed... are a few to help balance this out.
@CactusJuice maybe so, but still its not that big a deal and his reasons are accurate ones. But yes of course there are a lot of other reasons
So apparently we have to list off flattering reasons as to why people remain single like, going to school or paying ofd student loan debt. Because students never date & you can't get a date in this world with much debt to pay off.
@Mexicoman101 I first decided to stay single because I set some goals for myself, it left from that reason and grew into others things the longer I stayed by myself, it became for reasons like watching men and thinking I should probably stay away from them longer. So yeah some people set goals and get so busy they shut people out.
@azzntittiz i'm just saying not everyone chooses to be single because they're trying to improve themselves, & not everyone in the process of improving themselves necessarily make themselves too busy for anything else, like dating. I don't feel like judgey of you or why you choose to be single. I'm just saying what @OlderAndWiser said appeared to be very valid because i've seen people exhibit literally all of those trairs on that list who either suffer from being single or enjoy it.
I'm a lesbian and I'm not single.
@RachelleDraws You are 16 years old and married?
I think many of you have read much more into my response than what I said and you have assumed something about my intent. I choose my words carefully and I say what I mean. If I was trying to "suggest" something more, I would have said it explicitly. If you want to know why I listed any of those reasons, ask me.
I have a girlfriend.
@OlderAndWiser All I was trying to say is that there are more than the (largely) negative reasons you have listed. Reasons like @CactusJuice has listed. Knowledge NH your responses over the years, I agree you put out thought into most of what you write that's why I was surprised to see you only come up with negative reasons for remaining single.
11. Thinks dating/having a partner is unimportant and wants to priority on things they finds more important.12. Aromantic, but not necessary asexual.13. It's responsibility being married and not everyone is into that.
The question was about one woman , not women in general.
@SarahSummer I'm pretty sure he knows there's more to it than the (largely) negative reasons he only came up with, a lot of them were listed here, but maybe its his experience that most of the gorgeous single women in his life he's noticed or cared about Were single for those reasons. Or maybe he just felt as reasons, they were under represented in the responses so far.
@Mexicoman101. The question is only about one woman , the asker...
@Djaay I don't know about that. It does ask why A gorgeous woman would be single but I wouldn't extrapolate that its about only one woman, or even about the asker specifically. You're assuming she's arrogant enough to pre-suppose she's some gorgeous woman whose motives to be single are just up for us to be guessing here. Did you see them say its only about them in an answer response?
@Mexicoman101. I'm assuming she's arrogant? What? Tf you smoking? The question is about the asker herself. Your just jumping on the bandwagon like everyone else. she's single because she wants to be single , I can guarantee that one
@SarahsSummer I am surprised that you think being a nun is a negative reason.
@Djaaay If the question is about the asker:1. Why does she need US to tell HER why she is single?2. If the question is about her, she should state that explicitly.
Because its a way of the 30s single way to rub their age group in men's face arguing that us men should only take women now about that age so they can go out and slut around untill their age dictates (the settle down ) time. Its a loaded question , with an argument following.
Well you're a legitimate sexist, @Djaay. What the fuck?
she's a nun. Still laughing.
@Mexicoman101. Some day , you'll understand it's not being sexist understanding what's in front of you. Knowing the difference isn't being a sexist individual.
@Djaay alright, weirdo.
@Mexicoman101 your very immature
@Djaay & you're very grammatically underdeveloped.
@Djaaay @Mexicoman101 Criticize each other's opinions but please don't call each other names. It violates the rules for this site.
@OlderAndWiser yeah, you're not wrong.
@Djaaay Say what you want about females today but there are still more men that prefer to sleep around in their 20's and 30's (and even 40's and sometimes 50's). In fact because they assume they have more time and that nothing effects their fertility (totally not true. Science that shit. Our sexual health starts dismissing at roughly the same age group give or take a few years depending on the health of the individual) they are likely to wait longer to settle down. And they expect the girls that actually want serious relationships (which is the majority) to be ok with this and not get angry when they are lied to and crap. Then when they are finally ready to take it easy many (not all) want someone like 20 years younger because they don't want to be reminded that they aging. They say its because she is far more 'fertile' but that is scientifically false. There is about a 4% decrease on average in female fertility in their 20's vs 30's and we all these have medical advancements.
Plus you know that the theory of being unable to conceive after a certain age (not menopause or their own health issues) comes from birth records... 300 years ago. 300 years ago.Let that sink in.
I don't want kids. I'm just saying.
And I meant a 4% decrease in birth rates. Women lose about 90% of their eggs after 30 but they still have 700,000 to work with which is more than enough to get pregnant. It's harder but not impossible. My sister had her son at 37 and she's pregnant again at 41.
Oh and I forgot to add, sorry for all the comments (I really wish they'd let you edit!), there has actually been an increase in abortions in women in their mid 30's to 40's because they assume they won't get pregnant after that age. Until menopause it's still very possible.
@Nyx_85. I stand firmly on my exert.!!
@Djaaay How's that going for you?
@Djaaay Also do you know what exert means?
@Nyx_85. Well , before my wife's death , we both had 10 children together. 6 sons and 4 daughters. My new wife says she'd like to give me 2 more children. I've only been single for 32 days since 1978 . I know have 23 grandchildren and I've always since 18 , been retired financially. So i would say just great , gotta love it.
@Nyx_85. What does it mean?
@Djaaay Well hopefully they are healthy.
@Djaaay. Exert: apply or bring to bear (a force, influence, or quality).make a physical or mental effort.I'm not sure if that's what you meant?
@Nyx_85. That's exactly what I meant !!
@Nyx_85. What I wrote doesn't describe good women. So don't feel offended if this isn't you , which I don't think it is.
@Djaaay Oh ok. I just wasn't sure if that's the word you meant. No offense taken.
@Nyx_85. Yes it was , but it's all good. 😊
Or she can just be happy single and guys are afraid to approach her
@JadeLM20 I think most people will say that they are happier when they are in a relationship but she may be one the minority who is happier alone.
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I find, when I'm down, polar express leads you towards happiness..
I'm a single
My life as well. Stay strong xx
We tend to only see our flaws sometimes and don't realize people may perceive us totally different than what we think of ourselves.
*not been given
"No time for a relationship" = "I don't want relationship enough to make time for it"
Having someone to cuddle at the end of a day
That could also apply to men. Some men do not want to deal with any drama that comes from a relationship so it just does not apply to girls.
I know it can be anybody I was just giving the question an answer.
I know dont worry