Why would a pretty girl be single (not by choice)?

Question

My friends is EXTREMELY beautiful! I'm not exaggerating. Every time we go out, every one looks at her: men, women, young girls, young boys, EVERY ONE! But she never had an actual date. She wants to have a boyfriend, but no guy actually asks her out. She's very nice and smart as well. So why do you think this is happening to her?

Why wouldn't my friend be able to get a date?

jennifer_bloom · Accepted Answer

If she is anti-social or has low self esteem or doesn't feel comfortable talking to people she might be single. There was a girl who was in a lot of my classes in university and she was one of the prettiest girls in my class - a solid 10 out of 10 or 11 out of 10 - she always wore very pretty clothes too - but in my years of knowing her - I never saw her talk to a single person. She was polite when people asked her questions but she never talked to anybody willingly. The only friends she had were her professors. She would also show up 1 hour early for class each week since she had no friends and nothing better to do. She did not have any male or female friends.

Cynicaldreamer · Accepted Answer

There are a lot of reasons for that (in no particular order):

•Guys assume she's already taken so they don't bother asking her if she's single.
•They assume she's out of their league or not interested in them.
•They think if they do approach her, she'll reject them
•She's intimidating- and this can be intentional or unintentional (gives off vibes that she's unapproachable or uninterested)
•Just unlucky. Guys rather, "look but not touch."

MrOracle · Accepted Answer

When most guys see a woman who is a 9+ in appearance, they are intimidated because those girls often have a 9+ boyfriend (good-looking, educated, often wealthy) and your average working-class guy can't compete with that. If she is dressed and acts a bit more conservatively, then she will seem sophisticated, which is even more intimidating.

What breaks through all that is when the girl is outgoing and friendly. That makes her more approachable, which leads to guys striking up a conversation with her.

Given your story, I would bet that she is shy and reserved, and that is working against her.

coachTanthony · Accepted Answer

I am not quite sure about your friend but for most women that are extremely beautiful... they usually don't have problems in this area.
Because chances are, after you take the time to get to know them, you'll realize that she's single because she doesn't settle when it comes to what she wants. Maybe your friend deep down is doing the same!

Chikky · Answer

First it about looks which she got, secondly can she talk politely and hold a reasonable conversation, thirdly is she rude and arrogant, those things can chase them out quickly

Logorithim · Answer

It is usually personality, especially appearing unapproachable. I have never seen a woman THAT beautiful who was single, though.

Iwant2kno · Answer

Well perhaps your friend might intimidate with her mere beauty. And well I would guess she might also have very high standards. 😊

Inked_xx · Answer

I find it curious that when this happens, the analysis always focuses on her physical attractiveness. “she’s so attractive so why is no one asking her out” seems to be the question.

This reveals how much women believe that all that men care about is looks. What other evidence is needed to finally get rid of this assumption?

Women need to understand men are as unique and complex individuals are any other human being. We care about a lot more than looks, and until women can fully understand this, you will continue to ask the WRONG question.

Physical attractiveness is what we all notice at first, and if your friend is as pretty as you say, then she should have no problem passing this initial “test”.

The real question is this:

Apart from looks, what else does she have to offer?

Beautiful girls are a dime a dozen, and given that we live in a highly superficial, shallow society where women put so much emphasis on making a production of their appearance, you no longer stand out by just being pretty.

Basically: you gotta bring more to the table than just your looks and your body. This is looking like a tough lesson that manny women are having to learn because so much of their experiences have sold them this incorrect idea that they are only worth as much as they look. So wrong on so many levels.

In my personal life, I’ve always found myself to be more attracted to “average” looking women but who were kind, fun to be around, didn’t feel like they needed to look like models all the time, and just genuinely interested in getting to know more about me. I see physically attractive women all the time and I feel absolutely nothing. I think for most men, the allure of a pretty face looses its luster with age. We’ve seen more pretty faces than we can count, and sadly, those pretty faces weren’t always accompanied by a “pretty” personality.

Also, remember that we all learn by spotting pattterns. It is, for whatever reason, very common that pretty women have sh*tty attitudes because they think their looks entitle them to extra special treatment by others. There isn’t ONE guy in the world that has not worked up the courage to talk to a woman he found attractive only to find out she’s this kind of person.

If you’re a pretty woman and have a good personality, that sucks for you because the vast majority of attractive women have very unpleasant personalities because of how entitled they are.

For women (and men) who find themselves in this situation, a conscious effort needs to be made to make your personality stand out, but it’s hard when it’s PHYSICAL attractiveness that initially gets our attention.

Silent_Bob · Answer

There are three primary personality types alpha, beta, and omega (the latter getting a bad rap partially because of its depiction in early science fiction like Blade Runner, where alphas and betas easily passed the screening to make sure everyone was humans. Replicants were omegas so they failed). Anyway, my main point is:
1. If an Alpha Female likes a guy, she will ask him out. She is, after all, just as confident as the Alpha Male (even if her confidence doesn’t manifest in this particular way, guys think it will, that’s the important thing). There’s also that old adage “All Amazons Want Hercules” (an Alpha female will only give a guy the time of day if he is also Alpha). This is true often enough that if an Alpha female does like a guy who isn’t Alpha, she’ll need to get the ball rolling.
2. Guys tend to automatically assume that a “pretty girl” is an Alpha female. But sometimes... she isn’t. Appearance doesn’t indicate what personality type someone is, the only true indicator is actually talking to them.

btbc92 · Answer

A lot of them have no backbone and only go after girls they think they have a shot with sexually. Just being honest. It's because she's all of these things, that it's so hard to believe someone like her exists and they don't want to take a chance. What your friend needs to do is seek out potential partners through male friends, not strangers. Plus she's smart! That makes her intimidating and a lot of guys are spineless because of it. I know because I had a male friend that told me that is one of the main reasons why a lot of guys really want to bother oh, because I would know every plan and plot they would use. She won't attract guys who likes to play games, and their everywhere. She's not easy for a good screw.

Browneye57 · Answer

Un-datable. And she's not as pretty as YOU or HER think.

As I like to tell people, you have to BE a friend to HAVE a friend. And likely her sphere of cognizance is one foot around her own belly-button. Young women are only concerned about ME ME ME. Even this question is all about her ME ME ME.

And what exactly does she bring to a relationship that would be considered 'high value'. Like, can she articulate that? She needs to be able to because a high value guy will expect it. And no, it's not her golden vagina.

My guess is she's stuck up and unapproachable, her and all her 'beauty'.

Wharvey98 · Answer

I mean there’s several possibilities here. If she is as good looking as you say, it’s likely a lot of guys are intimidated by this. Additionally it sounds like she isn’t one who will engage in conversation, this could be a factor as well. Some guys don’t have the confidence to ask an attractive girl out, especially when her friends are hovering around (hint hint). It could also be that she’s getting offers and is just super picky, or she may not be picking up on guys that are being more subtle. I’m sure there’s more possibilities, but this is what I’ve got.

lightbulb27 · Answer

Lets see a photo:) Or help us understand what she is like socially? Pretty doesn't get you a date or ask. In some cases, boys think she's above them and won't ask. She may seem unapproachable if her energy is negative or she gives off the wrong vibe. Or maybe she's very religous and doesn't align with other guys.

another possibility is she hangs out with girls who are causing distraction such that guys don't approach.

attraction is sub conscious... it is not this "pretty" hot blah blah.. its sub conscious minds picking up signals from othes, primarily. so whatever it is, is projecting from her or mis alignment with them.

Goforit1010 · Answer

Smart girls like smart guys. That doesn't necessarily mean they have to be college educated, but they should KNOW stuff.

Why don't you introduce her to a few. Believe me, guys would LOVE to get to know a pretty girl. Being introduced, helps both the guy and the girl to get past the "I can't talk to him/her" stage and move on to getting to know each other. Let her know, though, a LOT of guys will want her for one thing. She'll need to be very discriminating about who she open up with to get beyond the obvious beauty part.

NineBreaker · Answer

There are many possible reasons. For example:
1. You, a woman, might consider her to be extremely beautiful, but most guys might not. Perception of beauty is subjective.
2. She might be looking for men in all the wrong places, not actively looking, or is extremely picky.
3. It could be that a lot of guys find her to be extremely attractive, but get intimidated by her.

FYI: Men are very, very visually oriented. Men will stare at women whether or not she's a subjective "1" or "10".

I'm not saying she's not beautiful, i. e that there's anything originally wrong with her. I don't know her, and all that is speculation on my part.

JSmuve · Answer

Everything @cynicaldreamer said is spot on. Also, this take is pretty good  In the end, she's probably just not doing anything to put herself in positions to be approached and signal her availability. That's on her. Despite what you may have read in cosmo, it takes more than just looking nice to get a guy to approach you, especially in the social climate we live in today. Most women do more to hurt their chances of being approached than help.

lernulo · Answer

I think she doesn't start the game.
If your friend is as you said I'm sure many men are thinking about it, but any of them watch the signals to start flirting.
Ask her what does she think about some guys who may like to her and if she tells something attractive on them, advice her to say it to them.
Usually we have the risky task to enter, more that it, it's more risky with your friend, so we enter when we believe we have some invitation.
If she doesn't make anything to invite its very difficult someone who loves make that move.
Appart from it are the players who only use the girls, they will go without invitation just to see, but. Is it what your friend want?

emmily2396 · Answer

To get a date you must:
1. Be around guys. Nobody will ask you on a date if they do not know you exist
2. Don't have huge standards
3. Engage in the conversation with the guy, nobody likes to be around someone when it feels like a struggle. She may be shy around guys and not be able to have a good conversation.

Gothd011 · Answer

Because when people put you in a "role" such as a pretty girl. It being boxed in.

doesn't mean that how she feels. She probably wants people to know she suffers just like anyone else but people don't even see that she has feelings or have other things to offer.

So she sticks to her. It safer that way. And silly guys think the worse and just add to the stereotype.

Snakeyes7 · Answer

I don’t really know why this is but if a girl is extremely pretty three things come to my mind if not the male population’s minds. 1. “There’s no way she doesn’t have a boyfriend already”. 2. Sometimes, they rarely feel worthy to be in the presence of a pretty girl which is why we get so nervous that when we get the balls to approach, we end up tripping over ourselves trying not to be stupid. 3. This is just a stereotype but it seems common enough for men to think that the prettier women are also the bitchiest and self centered so they don’t even consider the risk.

Phoenix23k · Answer

When most guys see women beautiful and smart and nice they kind of take a step back saying "she's way out of my league"
And some boys get shy and again take a step back
If she likes someone particular tell her to go approach the guy and flirt a bit and see what happens the guy's shyness will suddenly fade!

Wild_Rhino · Answer

Speaking from a guys POV if she is truly as Beautiful as you say, that can be intimidating even for a handsome confident man. You said she was a really nice person & smart as well? Even more intimidating. She is going to have to be the to break the ice & ask a guy out. If it gets out she's a lot of fun, down to earth I truly believe this issue will be fixed in no time. It would help her if she was outgoing with everyone popular or geek, become confident as it shows & lack of confidence even on a hottie can be unattractive. Hope some of this makes sense.

SjE78 · Answer

most the time it is down to either personality or if the guys she goes after are either gay or she's not their type...
or they believe she is so good looking that she is way out of their league or assume she is in a relationship already so dont bother
or they fear rejection a lot

CubsterShura · Answer

Because looks really aren't everything. Like how come I see plenty of divorced attentive women or just beautiful women not satisfied with marriage? Either it's the girl who lets it go in her head that she's beautiful and that makes her qualified to be partner or it's the guy that wanted her for looks only.

In case of your friend, she may just not be very much avaula or approachable to guys, or guys might just feel intimidated.

Udbhav_Bantwal · Answer

Often times, the most beautiful people are the ones who are most lonely because other people are wither intimidated to ask them out or they just assume that they don't have a shot and move on. It could also be because of personality but that is usually in the case of if the person can't sustain a relationship not so common as a reason for not being approached...

Incognito777 · Answer

A few possibilities:
- she's so attractive that boys think she is out of their league and just don't bother;
- she is too reserved, stuck-up, weird, shy or lacks personality completely;
- she has incredibly high standards ("if he doesn't look like he could be a model and doesn't have a 6 pack, why bother?")
- or simply she is not as attractive to others as she seems to you.

These are just assumptions. I cannot be more specific without knowing her.

Thatsamazing · Answer

One of literally only two reasons, if it truly isn't by choice:

1) She's a stone-cold bitch and no one likes her, no matter how pretty she is, or
2) she isn't actually as attractive/pretty as you're saying she is, or as she thinks she is. As in, she thinks she's attractive, and maybe so do you, but she actually isn't.

That is all.

Anonymous · Answer

People assume since a person is pretty they have no problem getting into a relationship. Which is bs what people fail to realize is that most pretty women have to avoid a lot of fuck boy. Most men want them for sex. Also it could be that she’s so pretty it’s intimidating

wankiam · Answer

boys hate rejection and so won't go for girls they imagine to be out of their leage... this means your friend and many other beautiful and pretty women feel just as isolated. as a younger guy i was so pleased i ignored this stupid notion

Piteka5 · Answer

I have a very pretty friend also, turns out she's possesive and controlling and guys can't breath without her coming to check what's happening, she looks good and they fall in the trap, soon enough they find her checking messages, sending friend requests to all their female friends, requesting they only hang out with guys and they simply go crazy eventually

FebronianMainline · Answer

She pretty... but i bet maybe she stepped in some dog doo doo on her way to the party thats why they won't ask the girl out if you are really her friend clean her shoe problem solved... your welcome... next.

Smegskull · Answer

Also does she wear jewelry on her hands? (most guys won't talk to women they think are in a relationship).

Does she wear pro feminist or pro #metoo apparel? (The cost benefit analysis says don't go within 10ft of women like that, we want to keep our pensions)

Soft4u · Answer

She probably acts the way she looks and that will drive guys away, without her realizing it the air about her is don't bother me I'm too good for you.

bklynbadboy1 · Answer

Well there's a few reasons why your friend could be single she could be antisocial or maybe guys are just intimidated by her or maybe her attitude is bad or maybe she's just not approachable you say everybody looks at her but who actually comes up to her to talk to her that's the question

ElvenMr · Answer

I guess she is the one who wants to choose a boyfriend. I mean she won't really accept/allow any approach towars her by others. So when she finds someone she likes, she'll give the guy signs until she gets the guy.

At least thats my theory in this case.

Felinegirl · Answer

Guys don't ask you out based on looks only, most of the time they need to be able to have a conversation with the girl first. If she's intimidatingly beautiful AND shy enough to be closed off, she's probably pretty unapproachable.

the_imperfectionist · Answer

They feel intimidated by her. She has not yet met a man who is confident enough to approach her because they probably think it's a waste of time to try and talk to her because they thinks she already taken or won't give them the time of day.

genericname85 · Answer

well good luck finding a guy that is serious about commitment if you're pretty. to the girl they all seem the same. they can't see who will stick with her and who will leave after one night. that's the issue when you're pretty as a girl.

hahahmm · Answer

They assume she’s already with somebody plus they mat not be confident. Go to places where confident guys are common or focus on getting a career or something else for now & worry about dating later

Texas_born · Answer

Maybe they're intimidated by her🤷🏽‍♀️ I know when I would see a HOT guy, my automatic thought was "forget it; you'd never have a chance with a guy like that"

Mitch-french · Answer

I am not particularly handsome, just fine. Bit when at a party, if I want to hook up with a girl, I always go after the most beautiful girl. If only because no one ever dates to do so. That's probably why your friend is single.

Emilie_kkk · Answer

Awww thats so sad, probably like being pretty obviously helps but if she doesn't let ln that she likes a guy, even just a little bit then he's never going to be brave enough to ask her

Pinky_what_why · Answer

Lol yes she can its just no one ever bother to avk because they think that she would already be taken.

Rangers · Answer

Maybe her personality is bad or she gives off negative energy. We've pretty much learned at this point that any attempts to turn a girls negative energy into positive energy will only get more negative energy sent our way.

brittslitt · Answer

Some reasons
1. she's crazy

2. because she's pretty good guys are too afraid to approach her, assuming she's out of their league

3. because she's pretty the player type guys are the only ones brave enough to approach her.

dtweed96 · Answer

Hmm some pretty girls are really nice and then some aren't I guess she's sincere at love and don't take it as a game I know I don't and because of that I've been on a few dates but never had a relationship before

Lance1965 · Answer

I know one stunning looking woman who has been single for years because her standards are so ridiculously high. She even admits to it but has no interest in changing. Those women are rare though. How many pretty women do you know that are single?

Straight_Shooter · Answer

Maybe she isn't fun to be around our has a horrible personality. It's more than just appearance that makes a woman attractive.

StickStickity13 · Answer

she's an asshole, she never goes out, she's not as pretty as you think, she never shows interest. These are possible reasons.

BeMuse · Answer

It takes more than a pretty face to hold onto someone...

MysteriousDarkness · Answer

There is a thing as too nice, too good looking, too smart etc. It can hinder you in a way. Maybe she should ask a guy out.

Nivinxus · Answer

Well a lot of people already given reasons which most are correct. If that's the case, then your friend needs to take the initiative.

jumping2conclusions · Answer

I’m in the exact same position as your friend. I’ve never had a real boyfriend. But tell her when she finally finds the right guy, it’ll be so special.  God has a plan for everyone.

GreatnessBack · Answer

People are probably intimidated by her, or she is somehow unapproachable.  I know some beautiful who have some kind of chip on their shoulder that makes some people NOT approach.

Salmon4056 · Answer

Probably the guys are too intimated or believe she's out of their league

JustADuDuDude · Answer

I don't know... maybe people think she's too good for them?

janna_jcb · Answer

Maybe they’re intimidated by her beauty. I know I never ask people out who I think are far prettier than I am because they just make me so nervous

Turkishkurd · Answer

Your friends should start asking guy's out maybe they assumed that she is out of their league should try online dating.

lanabug · Answer

she's picky, she has a body flaw (like a huge scar or something), she's an asshole, or she's just intimidating.

Truthatanycost · Answer

LOL, another one that has over estimated the importance of looks.

Anonymous · Answer

So she took no initiative and nothing happened? Shocking.
Well, my suggestion is for people to take responsibility for their own experiences. If she wants something to happen then she should be taking the initiative and making an effort.

constant_freeflow · Answer

They are afraid to get rejected. I wouldn’t hesitate at all to ask a girl out I am sure I am not everyone’s first pick but once you get to know me I can be pretty incredible

Sweatyotterr · Answer

She's intimidating she should ask guys out why do guys have to do it equality baby

MollyTheOriginal · Answer

Social anxiety, depression, trauma... other shit that life throws at you. Lot of guys can't (or choose not to) handle "complicated".

Why would a pretty girl be single (not by choice)?

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