Why are pretty girls single?

So my best friends and I are all pretty attractive, down to earth females, but for the most part, we're all single and have been for years. I was just wondering why do girls like us end up being single meanwhile girls who are less attractive or less "quality" end up being in relationships.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Have you done anything to rectify that? I mean not knowing what you and your friends look like, you might not actually be that attractive. But assuming you are attractive, that would also mean that the average guy is going to be less willing to approach you, because he might think you are out of his league, lack the courage or simply assume that he'd fail, so he doesn't do it. This means that the amount of guys who approach you will be lower than for the less attractive girls. This is increased if you tend to stick to being in a group with your friends, do something that makes you look busy like being on your phone or otherwise seem unfriendly or occupied. And only after all that which has probably dropped a lot guys already, we got to the point where the guy who approaches you has to be up to your standards, which depending on what they are, might also drop a lot of guys off. Assuming high standards here, that would mean only the confident and attractive guys and few of the average guys who manage to rally the courage to approach you have a chance. But since confident and attractive guys have a lot of choices other than you and your friends already, on account of being generally desirable for most women, that means that the number of guys in the pool you and your friends can pick from is going to be a lot smaller than for a girl who might be less attractive, but is more open and welcoming in her behavior and looks. Especially more so if she is willing to be the one making the approach aswell.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I kind of understand this. I have been told that i'm really pretty and have a great personality. I was feeling frustrated that I was single for so long even though all my friends (guys and girls) constantly tell me i'm a catch and have a great personality and assume i can have whatever guy I want. But its not true. I have so much trouble approaching boys and being myself, because most of the time i feel intimidated. But what I'm slowly coming to realise is that I am just extremely picky and have very high standards (not just looks, and def not about money) because I only want to date quality humans who I am also sexually attracted to. Not one or the other. That is really the reason i've been single for so long because i'm sometimes feel like i'm chasing after unicorns. But at the same time, I would be disrespectful to myself to lower my standards. The few times I have, I did not feel so great afterwards.

    by the way I really hate all the responses some of the others have posted, that automatically assume you are an up-yourself bitch with no personality. I think you can be confident in yourself and know you are pretty or have other great qualities, while still being down to earth and grounded in reality. It's just having a good level of self esteem, and doesn't automatically mean you're arrogant.

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    • Sooner or later you will come to realized... You need to get pollenated before your petals fall off.
      Ah, the bitter pill of lowered expectations.

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    • You thoughts are great ♥

    • Ms. Anonymous. Where are you from?

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What Guys Said 209

  • The simple fact that you judge you and your friends superior to these “…less attractive or less "quality"..” women that are attached in relationships tells it all. Guys that are serious enough to get attached, just don’t want to put up with that kind of bullshit associated with narcissism, self-absorbed, high maintenance. You will have to get over the love affair with yourself before you can have one with a man.

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    • That's not what I meant. We're not selfish or self absorbed. I'm just saying that even beyond my friends, I've noticed a pattern of attractive, well educated females getting turned down by guys for girls who have no goals or act like they have no home training. I'm just wondering why, since society places such a high value on women being attractive, that girls like me and my friends can be attractive and then some, and still get turned down by guys for girls like that.

    • "girls who have no goals" Again you place yourself above these girls without factual basis-how do you know they don’t have any goals-maybe some want to be housewives- that’s a goal. If you continue to place yourself above people, that will shine through and is very undesirable.

  • Many many reasons.
    1. It could be that you hang out with the 'popular' crowd. That means that the pool of people who will ask you out are from the popular crowd. This is because if a guy thinks that your friends will reject him, then you'd have to choose between your friends and him, who you barely know.
    Same goes for activities. If you like to go out and party, then you will only have the party guys to choose from.
    2. You want something serious. Ties in to #1 also. Party and popular guys usually don't want something serious (at that stage of their life, if at all.) So, if that's the pool of applicants, you won't find anyone.
    Also, if you push for something serious too fast, it can come off as clingy to normal guys. They may be willing to be serious, but not yet. Age also factors into that. Being religious will make guys assume you are looking for something serious, even if you aren't.
    3. You don't go out and only hang with your friends. Well, you are never going to find anyone unless you put yourself in a position to be approached.
    4. You sit back and wait for guys to come to you.
    Think about this, the handsome eligible guys will have girls, usually average, hitting on them. This is because average girls assume they have to to compete with you.
    But you don't flirt. Why would the guy stop his nice conversation with an average girl to flirt with a hot one? (Unless he was only interested in sex, of course.)
    So, you need to approach and flirt also. Again, though, approach the ones that look like they want a girlfriend.
    5. Attractiveness is subjective.
    6. See 5.

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  • I've read the most voted answer and besides that one, there are some other things I would like to point as possible options:

    -guys that you might like, see you as out of their league and don't even try.
    -some guys try, but since you don't like them back, you turn them down.
    -plus, you assume that a good looking girl with great friendly attitude already has someone.
    Listen to people speaking to you (when you go to the grocery store, when you see the dentist, when you go to the hairdresser, so on), they will say things that imply they believe you have someone.
    -usually better looking, more confidence for the most part, easy going and friendly in general, having ease in talking with people. So though you might try to show interest in a guy and you think you are flirting, he might simply see you as being friendly just like you are with the rest of the people.

    Noticed that a lot of girls that are "hotties" and not at all "divas" when it comes to behaviour are single, so it might have something to do with them being too good looking for their own sake.

    This girl was hitting on me for months and though I liked her, I was thinking she has someone. Until a few months later, where I simply had a revelation, one of those moments where you smack yourself over the face when you realize. :)

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    • Its true that people just assume people have boyfriends. I have had people say this to me numerous times. I think its still very much in a woman's hands though if she wants a guy to approach her. I think when talking to people I can make them feel very comfortable around me and they know I wouldn't intentionally be harsh or bruise their ego. I really think its important though to not be fearful of being single/alone and yet still being open to others and willing to put in some effort yourself. I've come upon this new revelation that I can ask guys out if I so please. They have the choice to say no, but that doesn't mean I can't try.

  • Maybe guys view your attitude about yourself as arrogant or pretentious; maybe they don;t see you as being as "down to earth" as you believe you are.

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  • Yeah, I've also noticed this too 😅. The main issue can be that the men are just worried about rejection and don't think you'd want to date them. That's probably 90% of the reason why. Maybe even 100%.

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  • Couple of possibilities:

    1. You're not as pretty as you think you are

    2. You're not as "Down to earth" as you think you are.

    and what do you mean less "quality"? looks?

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  • There are so many possibilities. I'll list a few. Please bear in mind that guys are not girls. Our VALUES are different than yours.

    1 you may be over estimating your attractiveness. Our family and friends often praise us in an attempt to bolster our self esteem. This gives us an inaccurate view of our attractiveness.
    2 you may be over estimating the value of your attractiveness. You may be exactly as attractive as you think you are, but fail to realize that attractiveness is not quite as important as you think it is.
    3 you may be fooled into thinking that your grooming, by which I mean clothes, hairstyles, makeup, etc. Have increased your attractiveness. Most men can see through these things and have very little attraction to the facade.
    4 your estimation of the VALUE of your *quality* may be off. While having an educated wife is nice, very few men place a high value on it in terms of relationships.
    5 you may be underestimating the value of the girls you feel are of lower quality than you.

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    • If a girl is attractive she probably had a tough time with female friends and family who due to jealousy probably downplayed her attractiveness, which decreases her view of her own attractiveness and probably makes her even more attractive to guys. Therefore, if a girl thinks she is attractive (ie. as told by family and friends who she still has good relations with) then it is likely she isn't.

  • A lot of girls describe themselves as "attractive" because of all the positive attention they get through society whereas you'll notice a lot of guys will describe themselves as "average" or "I look OK, I guess" and this is one of the differences between men and women. Men tend to be more modest about themselves and are put off by women who also lack that modesty.

    Girls who are conventionally attractive have been catered to and pampered her entire life most likely, so when guys see a girl who is attractive they most likely assume she is either already in a relationship or that she will be too much work. Guys don't really have much to offer an attractive female that other people have or already tried to. The only reason an attractive girl would be single is because she wants to be, as if you probably approached men yourself, you would find yourself dating or would find that you aren't as "down to earth" as you actually think you are. The dating scene is stressful for those of us who have to approach, so mostly men, and you wouldn't really understand the difficulty in approaching somebody really attractive until you've had to do it yourself. Put yourself in a guy's shoes and you'll figure it out.

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    • I've approached guys (to say "Hi" and stuff). It just takes courage and confidence. Not much different from the traits used in other aspects of life for ie. a job interview, playing sports, meeting a new friend.

  • The fact that you view other girls as less "quality" is probably a reason why you're still single.

    Although to answer your question, a lot of times, very pretty women are stereotyped to be quite dumb because a lot of the time they focus so much on their makeup, their fashion, their body shape etc. They spend so much time on those things they don't spend time learning about how to be interesting. A guy will see a pretty girl and that makes him instantly attracted (obviously) however unless you're actually interesting and knowledgable about things where you can have deep conversations, he will just view you as a piece of meat.
    "Nice guys" would rather be with someone who is interesting and fun instead of a beautiful but boring Girl.

    So if you want my advice, become more interesting! Learn how to get into a really deep conversation, develop some opinions that you can debate about with the guy. Develop hobbies/ projects (not gym) that you can do with the guy you're seeing 😊 Make sure you make the guy know that you're not just a pretty face, otherwise he will only see you as that

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    • Gym is fine dude. It shows she cares about staying healthy and won't get fat and unattractive in a hurry. Though if it's too hardcore, sure some guys might not like that, same as girls if a guy is always working out and not spending time with his girl.

    • Yes by the "(Not gym)" part of my reply, I did mean that to be spending way too much time at the gym. Of course, going to gym to be healthy/lose weight is fine... but when gym becomes an obsession, then it becomes a horrible relationship

    • "Make sure you make the guy know that you're not just a pretty face, otherwise he will only see you as that". - Basically the reason why if it weren't for my achievements at school no one would ever take me seriously and treat me worst than what I had to deal with. I don't exactly have friends and I definitely don't consider the family I was born into family.

  • Lmao I'm crying laughing. You just said "are all pretty attractive" and "down to earth" in the same sentence. Exactly why your single. Shut up.

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  • You tell us. You know yourself better than any of us, so why are you single?

    Do no guys approach you?
    Do you reject any guy that does?
    There could be a whole slew of reasons why you all are single.

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  • Imma be honest you qualifying yourself as pretty attractive whilst rating others as less attractive is a huge turn-off. in my opinion

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  • Maybe its your attitude or the fact normally pretty girls expected too. much from their boyfriend. i once date a girl who wanted me to complated with her friends boyfriend everytime they got her friends soemthing then i had to waste money on her. i am a simple man i love trying new things, enjoying good company, i do not drink but dont care if my friends do and i dont judgy other people. if i met a girl who kind, dowm to earth amd doesn't wanna spend every penmy i got then we can hang.

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  • Intimidated? Maybe. Mostly because we have never been taught how to.

    https://youtu.be/3928xtaP5CU

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  • Maybe you're not as attractive as you think you are.

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  • The facts state most guys won't confront a beautiful girl solely because they say in their minds there's no way she's single... Epically if you and your friends are in groups a lot in public that also hinders a guy from wanting to come up to you. Girls that aren't attractive doesn't mean they don't have a good personality or that they don't deserve a boyfriend. My motto is looks fade but food doesn't.

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  • a little judgmental there? maybe you're not that pretty or that "quality." maybe you're the type of girl that sends red flags to every guy that gets close to you. who knows? but with that attitude you will be single for life

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  • Because men in general have low self-esteem. the things that we want in life most of us don't really go after. It's funny because as soon as you do as long you realize that you have the power and ability to obtain anything it is that you want. attractive women don't get picked up on more because of two things. one being that they're hard to approach as a man with low self-esteem or a man who feels like they have nothing to offer them and two they feel as if these women are extremely experienced with all sorts of men and that they can possibly measure up to all of them so there would have to be somebody out there that was better than them which may or may not be true. at the end of the day the reason why you and your friends are actually single is not because of the men in their low self-esteem but because of the fact that there is a pack of you guys and it makes it hard for any man to approach anyone of you because of the fear that all of your friends will tear him down and you probably would because that's generally how women react to Amanda pressuring one of their friends in a group setting.

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  • Pretty girls from the inside out , are all taken... and continue to be taken. This question is (not ) from one of those girls.

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  • some guys are too scared to approach them or ask them on a date. or their really isn't much substance to their personality. or guys just try to get you to bed because guys dont want to have to worry about everyone guy hitting on his girl, and his girl being tempted by them.

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What Girls Said 79

  • I think the fact that you are calling other girls less "quality" plays a huge role in why you are single. Sounds like you have either an inflated ego, too high of standards, or a combination of the two.

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    • @philipph she is saying that married woman are less attractive and she sees herself as being a higher quality of woman.

    • @goodwifie
      so you would appreciate more respect and eye-level-talk?

  • Really,? Maybe it's just perspective. The people I see and know that are attractive usually have a boy friend or several guy friends. Everyone is pretty though and has several attractive points that their significant other likes wether it really be how " pretty " they are or not. Personality can override beauty at times, so overall I say it depends or it's how you view things. Just because you're pretty and single doesn't mean that that's a bad thing. If you're talking solely about you and your group of friends it's maybe that just they + you haven't found the right one yet, or haven't really looked into dating etc. Sorry I don't know how to explain lel. The people you surround yourself w/ can influence what you think as well. Maybe it's just a coincidence that you and your friends have been single for awhile. Are you also thinking for example that like " Why are ugly girls taken? " because that's not true either? It's so hard to answer this and i don't know why. Hope this kind of helps

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  • My guy friends are more attracted with girls who can go without makeup, yet use makeup to dress up for a night out.
    Most of the time the guys who see woman that are attractive are more high management (more so on the wallet)

    In times like today, most guys I know feel at ease with woman who can live without vanity.
    (Unlike the woman in the photo)
    Confidence with no makeup grabs the guys for sure in my group of friends.

    Also try not to compare yourself with other woman, it's not attractive.

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  • Maybe there's something about your personality that turns guys off. Most quality men are able to see past looks. I think I'm pretty, and I know that the main reasons why I'm single are because I'm a homebody and I have no clue when I'm being flirted with.

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  • They're pickier because they're forced to be. They have guys throwing themselves at them who have really poor manners or are uninventive in their approach - something that really smacks of insincerity or sloppiness. They've dealt with crap that not even guys would accept. Then, quite often, they have guys that come up to them and have the sheer audacity expect the girl to throw themselves at him. Then when the girl doesn't respond like they want, they have this self-entitlement crap going on like, hey, you get approached by douchebags all the time and when you finally meet a super nice guy like me how come you don't appreciate it? They're really condescending about it and make remarks that would make your eyebrows go? Seriously, I wish guys could be on the receiving end of some of this stuff. It really makes the girl hesitant to pick anyone, because you don't know who can be trusted or who's really worth pursuing. Nothing good comes easy, and it's like sorting through cheesy smiling salesmen and scammers.

    Also, people are intimidate by their looks and stereotype that the hotter you are the worse of a person you must be (unless you're smiling 100% of the time and giving in to all sloppy advances. Yeah she's awesome she'll never say no to anything, hehe). They fear the pain of falling on their ego from a rejection of that height.

    The hot girls can't hide their inner emotions and insecurities - Lots of guys (i. e. the majority) that approach confidently often have nothing to lose. It's a bet. It's a laugh. If it doesn't work just give her the finger or call her some name. This constant barrage of treatment causes the girls to put off a subconscious negativity, their moods showing through on their face, especially on a day when they're not feeling so confident and drop gorgeous like everyone assumes. i. e. not smiling. This makes them look even less approachable. Sometimes it's just a defensive mechanism because people gawk rudely at you, i public

    They have negative images projected on them - they're obviously really flirty, flaky and slutty and men don't feel like dealing with a Kardashian, high maintenance chick. When it comes to show some courage and initiative in approaching the guys give themselves these excuses, overthinking it, completely condemning the girl mentally before they bother approaching.

    Attractive girls are told they deserve better so many hold off as long as they can, but many just give up and pick anything to stave off the loneliness.

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  • I don't think it has anything to do with how attractive you are. It's just becoming harder and harder to find people who aren't too emotionally damaged or caught up on someone else even if they're bad or toxic for them. Also , just because you see a girl as not as attractive to you, does not make her of any less quality. Having a negative outlook on other women is an ugly trait personality wise and will not be attractive to a decent guy. The other girl may very well not be as pretty as you. Maybe in her boyfriend's eyes, she's the most beautiful girl in the world. Relationships don't get by on looks. Looks fade eventually. There naturally has to be a physical attraction of some sort, but sometimes certain things are overlooked when someone possesses everything the other person is looking for within a partner. Personality is a big factor in how far a relationship will go with someone. Most men of decent nature do not want a shallow girl with a negativity towards others. You should never compare yourself with others either. This is a bad habit most people have. Just do your best to be a good person and one day , the right guy will take notice of you.

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  • Damn everyone is giving you a hard time. You don't have to call yourself a dumb fuck to be not arrogant. A person can recognize she/he's attractive without being arrogant. I also know I'm a little bit more attractive for most people than Honey Boo boo's mom and she's also married.

    Okay so, maybe you don't interact enough with guys. You might not be approachable. Some people think that "I just walked in the park and a guy asked me out and we got married now" is a situation that happens often. It doesn't. Most people get together through mixed friend groups, sports etc. So just being pretty and a nice person isn't enough, because guys are super scared to ask girls out and don't do that to every person they just find attractive. There has to be a bond or a situation.
    Maybe guys don't see you or your friends as girlfriend material. Here comes the approachable part again. You have to slightly flirt, but not too much and have some special qualities.
    Maybe you never ask a guy out. If you really want something. You should go over there like a real powerwoman and get it.
    I hope I helped you slightly.

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  • you don't sound down to earth. I'm down to earth and yes I have confidence but I don't bring others down

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  • it's not how attractive you are it all depends on your personality and how much it matches your partner's personality. Think of it in this way , nothing is actually wrong with you it's just that you haven't come to meet your perfect match yet

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  • Maybe they want to be. Maybe they don't think they're pretty. Maybe people assume you're not available because you don't put yourself out there.

    Though tbqh, I was literally on a date and got approached by an idiot who wouldn't leave me alone. So.

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  • I've been asking the same question for long. Some guys won't understand your question at all. I am the same type of women as yourself, and I have been single for most of my life, with very few dates here and there. I have seen far less attractive girls with handsome guys, and this defies logic, lol.

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    • it's because to a certain extent, looks dont matter. Does she have to be pleasing yeah. for example, if she has a eyepatch, a wooden leg and a hook for a hand (a pirate) then its out of the question. If she has a decent face, nice hair, ok body etc.. and a great personality then things will be ok for her. A pretty girl who only thinks in looks and abandons her personality gets kind of... boring.

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    • well Im really attractive (or most people will tell me) yet I dont have a girlfriend. It has more to do with how they put themselves out there. How approachable they look which again, goes to your personality or something at first glance that makes you seem like you have negative traits. Sometimes we have a hunch of who is a good person and who isn't. For example, who is more friendly at first glance, The lady reading a book with a smile on her face at the park (not in the creepy way) or a lady on her phone with the resting b! tch face? or maybe, just maybe your standard of what you find attractive is not their preference

    • @FreedomByChoice yeah, it makes sense. But of course it's coincidence too: it depends on how the guy (in the park for instance) would see the woman with the book.

  • Pretty girls want to have a pretty guy, now find a pretty guy which still hasn't got a relationship or is an arsehole. Because usually, guys who know they're pretty have a very high ego and think they can have every girl on this planet. In 90% of cases they are fuckboys. And: many guys see prettiness as something unreachable, they think they can't come near you because they're gonna get rejected, but they forget that pretty isn't everything and don't even try out of fear. I'm friends with some guys who are attractive but just too shy to ask a pretty girl out and I think it's bad that many men nowadays just can't handle taking the first step towards a girl anymore.

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  • Because you're probably not as attractive or down to earth as you think you are🙄

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  • guys dont like pretty girls. they like sluts and liars and cheaters. those are the women that goes through 5marriages in their lifetime. i dont know mabe they manipulate the men i can't figure it out. but the more im living right the more im single

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  • People describe me like you describe you and your friends and I have been single for a long time. One reason for me is I'm really picky because I tend to get played a lot or just used for a hook up or guys assume I'm already taken.

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  • Oftentimes pretty girls tend to rate themselves as being way more pretty than they actually are. No offense. Also "down to earth" and "friendly" might come across as true among your female friends but you might be completely crass with males.

    Lastly and I think the biggest one is that my friend who is really pretty overvalues herself. She honestly doesn't have all that much to offer but expects a rich guy to commit to her just because she's pretty. She has never had a relationship longer than 5 months and she's 27... so

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  • maybe it's because you're obviously so full of yourself?
    no offence..

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  • A couple of reasons...

    1. Self-centered.
    2. Intimidation
    3. May think a guy only wants them for just that.
    4. Men try to sleep with them instead of take them serious.
    5. They could have high standards and know their worth enough to wait for the right one.

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  • Because what girls see as "down-to-earth" guys see as "not sexy." They want someone cute and not too smart to act impressed by everything they do, while wearing low-cut tops and short skirts and drinking a lot, so the guy feels he's got a chance with her.

    Unfortunately, women like you and your friends are boring and intimidating at the same time. You're too much work so they don't bother.

    I'm in this category too and have just accepted singleness.

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    • As a guy I disagree with this, I'd rather someone smart that could hold a convo and is just overall independent, I don't want someone to control them and fill my ego, I want someone to grow with and spend good times with.

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    • I've had guys tell me this, so I'm assuming they mean it. They want girls who aren't smarter than them, who wear sexy clothes, who look up to them, who will "have a good time", and are sexually available.

    • Well they definitely don't represent all guys.

  • OMG I've been married for 11yrs so I be of extremely poor quality.
    shut the hell up and stop being so freaking up yourself.

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