Do you think the only reason a very pretty girl stays single is because she is too picky?

[Anonymous]

Very pretty women often have many guys hit on them and many guys approach them.

Some also stay single for a long time. So I imagine the only reason a girl like this will stay single for a long time is because they are way too picky.

Or they like controlling multiple guys at once and are having fun with all of the attention and likely constant sex.

what do you all think?

[Twincapersred]

It's not that they are picky but more that they have already picked.

They already like a guy and are hoping he approaches them or they are working up the courage to approach him themselves.

I get this a lot, if a guy starts hitting on me and I politely show I'm not interested, 7/10 the flirty guy starts to get semi aggressive and either continue and try to talk me in to doing whatever he was thinking I should do with him, or he calls me a bitch or something. I really don't understand that.

Just because a girl doesn't want you it doesn't automatically make her picky or a bitch. I already like a guy, yes I am single technically, but I'm trying to see him more steadily. But these guys don't see that as a valid excuse, I'm not in a relationship so I should give every single guy who approaches me nonstop praise and f*** them? That's insane. Very few guys seem to accept a no gracefully.

There's my question- why are girls bitches or picky when they say no? Why can't guys deal with rejection?

[Asker]

So if you see a guy and feel that you are interested...you are waiting for him to "come around" right? What if an even better guy comes around and is interested in you? Shouldn't you politely give him a chance?

By the way, your answer basically completely agrees with me. You are being too picky, because you already picked your guy, and no matter what it has to be that guy and you ignore everyone else.

That is being too picky.

Let more guys approach you, gosh.

[Twincapersred]

No I don't think deciding you like a guy and staying true to the feelings you have for him is being to picky

Married people choose to get married to one person are they too picky too?

You're getting dangerously close to advocating cheating because some better came along. If people lived that way it'd be horrible you'd never feel comfortable in a relationship because if your significant other met someone who was better than you would their love just immediately transfer to the new person.

[Asker]

Obviously once you find someone you stay with that person.

I think it is dumb to stick to one person and wait for them to come along. You can be waiting a long time...all while other great and often better options pass you by.

[toulouse]

@So if you see a guy and feel that you are interested...you are waiting for him to "come around" right? What if an even better guy comes around and is interested in you? Shouldn't you politely give him a chance?

She didn't just say she hopes they approach her. She says she could also be working up to approaching him. You twisted what she said yo make yourself feel better. Its not what she said.

being single& liking someone-else- doesn't mean you are waiting.. you could be getting to know them.

[Twincapersred]

Exactly thank you, a lot of girls these day don't wanna wait for their prince charming to get up the courage so they get up the courage to ask themselves.

Yes obviously you never know if someone better will come on but that is such an add way of dating! If you like someone why not see if it can acutally work with them before trying it with every other guy you meet. You can't know the further and a guy who might look better on paper or be better in person may not be the best guy for you anyway

[Asker]

I am saying don't completely outright reject the guys that do come up to you.

They might be prince charming, but if you are sitting by your window waiting for who you "think" prince charming is..you may miss the guy climbing the castle wall making an effort to come to you.

You are failing if you are waiting for a guy to come around.

@toulouse, I am not trying to make myself feel better, I am pointing out the answerers obvious mistakes

[Twincapersred]

Ugh you aren't listening never mind

[dizmuhjam]

Im not trying to be racist or anything, and Im also not interested in reading the conversation between you and the asker. But I read what @twincapersred said about guys being passive aggressive and stuff and this sounds like typical American behaviour to me. Guys in Europe usually dont get passive aggressive over a simple and polite no.

[upood]

I don't get approached I get stared at, and if they're young or inexperienced followed around yet still not approached haha. I'm single because I am shy and busy and haven't really met anyone I am comfortable with. Just because he's attractive or interested doesn't mean I am. I don't go on dates for the heck of it. I'd only date one person if I feel a connection with him. Usually I find one guy I feel this with and because of my shyness he thinks I am not interested and I play this wait and see game for like a year and then move on alone...

[Asker]

So if a guy is too aggressive after you both show interest he looks desperate or looks like an ass. If he does not move fast enough you continue to be shy and then both parties think each other are not interested.

[upood]

pretty much.

[Asker]

Don't you realize that this means YOU ARE FAILING because you make it impossible for the guy to approach you in any way?

[upood]

Yeah, but it doesn't seem to stop some of them haha

[Asker]

but you will reject perfectly fine guys...

[upood]

I wouldnt, but I wouldn't approach them either.

[Asker]

So you will only reject them if you don't feel a connection to them.

I don't wanna throw attractiveness in your face, but if you say connection, you most likely mean chemistry. And chemistry means your body reacts to him because he is hot.

So it translates to, you will only reject a guy if he is not hot.

Am I wrong?

[upood]

Yes you are wrong. Looks aren't that important... connection with somebody is about the way he carries himself and makes me feel. I got approached by a really good looking guy at the gym the other day and I shut him down because I did not feel comfortable or eager to talk to him. I know he's attractive/i find him attractive but not my type. I think looks do matter but that's so subjective so you can't say only if he's "hot" lol. :)

[Asker]

In your gym scenario you also have to add he place and the situation. I am pretty sure girls do not like getting approached at the gym.

You were probably not eager due to the scenario. Same guy, different place...maybe a sunny day with both of you outside flying kites...he would have gotten you!

;-)

[upood]

lol I would like to get approached at the gym, no one does, they just stare at me, its lonely... flattering to get approached. Lol I doubt he would've gotten me any other setting... I tend to go for ugly-cute guys, which means they're average but I find them beautiful... you'd be surprised at what my crushes looked like haha. But I do know what you mean, some girls are basing it off looks,but that's initial instinct, not all girls are like this.

[Asker]

There have been NUMEROUS questions on here about approaching at the gym. The common answer seems to be that it is a no-no. Girls only want guys to approach them at the gym if they are not hot and sweaty..not working out at the moment...and if the guy is pretty hot.

You said you are going for ugly-cute guys. Are you an ugly cute girl? That would just mean you are going for your same range and that is normal.

[upood]

No lol, I am quite attractive apparently according to what I've heard/seen... and I get checked out and hit on constantly but I was just raised to be very shy and reserved and as "good girl" as it can get. I choose ugly cute guys cause they're normal and nicer and will treat a pretty girl better than a hot guy because usually those tend to be too into themselves... And of course no wants to be approached while running on a treadmill lol

[toulouse]

or they don't want a relationship. & since its pretty much accessible, they have the luxury to not want oner. as apposed to can't get one. you really dint worry too much about getting things, you have easy access to. I think if everyone h desperately wanted a boyfriend, or girlfriend, felt like they could have anyone.. they wouldn't worry about it . theyd probably would not want to be bothered. fir a while anyways.

[Asker]

You make a very strong point that I have NEVER thought about!

kudos. I need to ponder on this for a while.

someone who can get pretty much whoever they want...so they don't even try, because it is there whenever they want it...

[toulouse]

i didn't say any such thing.

i said they don't want a relationship. just like anyone else might not want one. but people who think they can't get one, tend to think they must have one. when it seems like something that's possible, , you have space to appreciate being alone. nothing to do with not trying. deciding to be single, just means, energy goes into other areas of life.

also, just because someone is single, doesn't mean they don't like someone else. they could be getting acquainted.

[Asker]

They could be getting acquainted? How long does this take?

While they are getting acquainted, how many amazing single guys does she reject?

So she is not actually appreciating being single and alone, she is actively meeting someone.

Those are two different things.

Waiting for one particular person = being too picky.

I need you ladies to stop proving me right! :-)

[toulouse]

It was not meant to be 'one' thing.

If you like one person, you don't WANT to meet other people.. Shed be spending the same time getting to know you- if you were that guy she's getting to know.

How long, depends on how slow someone wants to go.Personally, it can take me a year..Maybe more-- If I have too much to do.

ALOT of people want time to to get stuff done.

You complain about 'pretty' people- only cause you don't care if 'ugly' people want to be alone. Not because its only pretty people

[Anonymous]

Well, I think yes and no. In some cases it's just them being too picky and in some cases it's just them being hit on by jerks. My cousin was ridiculous about it. She seemed to always find something wrong with every person she ever dated. Too short, too tall, hair's thinning, too muscular, too skinny, too fat, too normal...blah blah blah. I was so excited for her when she finally married someone. She was in her mid 30s. When I travelled overseas for her wedding, I was shocked to see her husband. Some guy who looked much older than he really was and with a borderline drinking problem. So she passed out on all those other better looking, better jobbed, smarter guys for this...

[aMuse]

Nope, a lot of them have emotional problems and crappy personalities.

[Asker]

question for you.

which came first:

the hotness

or

the emotional problems/crappy personality?

I think this would be a great GAG question. What causes hot women to be this way..

[aMuse]

Every girl is different and goes through different things in their life. They all start as little girls. Some get spoiled by their fathers and treated like little princesses. Some become popular as a result of their looks and use that to manipulate, use, and mistreat others around them, some get used by guys and develop trust issues. Every girl starts as just that a little girl. Her environments and relationships develop her psychology over time.

[Asker]

smart guy.

Nature vs. Nurture. So you think they were nurtured into emotional problems and crappy personalities.

[aMuse]

For the most part. Either they were not kept in check by their role models or peers or they had bad experiences or some mix of the two. A lot of girls have several problems. Then tend to compound one another and domino after a while.

[irishlassy1973]

No I disagree...yes lots of men hit on pretty woman but most of them are only after sex and she wants more than that. Seriously men approach an attractive woman and it's pick up lines, sexual comments, and getting groped and grabbed at the clubs. Its horrible. All I want sometimes is for ONE guy to approach me and be like HI..MY NAME IS...like a normal person. I am single because I can not find a guy willing to look past my looks and see ME the inside me! Why is it that some people think pretty women are these cruel, evil creatures who want to manipulate and use men like play things...sure some do...but some men treat women pretty bad too that does not mean ALL men will do that.

[Asker]

Guys approaching girls in a "normal way" always fail unless they are attractive. What you are looking for is a normal really hot guy. Not going to happen.

Girls are either picky or want impossible things!

I think the issue is that there is a sea of terrible people with some good ones mixed in. Problem is, many hot women assume ALL GUYS are terrible people. Yes guys like sex, women like sex to. Most guys might actually want sex AND love. Every f***ing think about that? haha! :-)

[irishlassy1973]

What make them "impossible" anything is possible...I keep an open mind and a positive out look...the man I am looking for and will fall head over heels for is out there he just has not come along yet. So in the mean time I will continue to reject and shield myself the all the wrong ones. I enjoy my life as it is ...I think that is important also.

[Asker]

You are likely looking for a hot and shy guy. Someone who does not get attention and treats women sweetly because they don't focus energy on him. But he happens to be super hot and intelligent and successful. Not real.

Too picky. next.

[irishlassy1973]

Wow you seem to have a very negative out look. Yes it is "real" very real! Nothing is impossible ...there is such a guy out there and one day I will meet him!

[Asker]

no...

I don't want to ruin your outlook, but seriously.

This is like me asking for

A p*rn star looking girl, who has the sexual skills of a p*rn star, but is a virgin. She is also the daughter of a fortune 500 company president and will become president when she turns 35. Also, she is sweetheart and a good cook, and a dangerous sexy thrill seeking adventurer.

ITS ALL BULLSHIT! Why can't ladies have a realistic guy. Your dream guy gets with my dream girl. We both sit waiting for nothing..

[xzinax2]

that's the case for most people,not only hot girls,even unattractive men are picky. but not all single hot girls have the same issue,some have self esteem issues,some have daddy issues,some are just f***ed up,and some *gasp* DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP. my problem (not that I'm hot) might be that I crush on celebrities,that I expect to marry david mitchell,which just resulted in me being crushed,he just announced he's engaged. damn you celebrities!

[Asker]

So the ones that don't want a relationship...they want to find the hottest guy possible to please them sexually. Right?

[xzinax2]

doesn't have to be the case. maybe they don't want sex,maybe they're not picky about looks,maybe they're picky about personality traits,maybe they're asexual/gay

[Asker]

I think those ideas you threw out might apply to 15% of women. The rest are being too picky.

[xzinax2]

oh I see,you just want someone to confirm that hot girls are too picky and that's why they're the bad ones and you're the poor guy that deserves love but girls are too picky. okay. suuure,girls are too picky,those bitches.

[Asker]

thooseee bitches...

no..lol. I am not completely sold on the idea hot girls are too picky. I am just getting more and more sold with the completely ridiculous responses girls are giving me on here! If someone gave a legitimate response backed with facts I would probably change my mind. But so far, women are just proving my hypothesis correct.

[Hannahlee]

I think for some, they have been treated the same by all the guys they have been with..and that could mean they were treated badly. Maybe they feel that all guys that hit on them just want to get into bed, or they only want her for her looks. It could be an issue where they feel that no one wants them for who they are. Ya never know.

[Asker]

I am pretty sure that a girl who is super pretty has to understand that a guy will want them for sex. Obviously.

Now if she is worried she does not have a personality to offer to win him over completely, that is her own fault.

[foolycooly1001]

So it can also be psychological issues.:P

[Hannahlee]

But do you think she constantly wants to feel that guys only want her for that reason. That doesn't mean she doesn't have a personality to offer men.

[Anonymous]

...I think my older sister is very pretty, extraordinarily talented, and extremely amazing mother material (I can't quite say wife material from my standpoint), I may be biased, but your viewpoint does seem a tad on the shallow side. I don't assume that the most alluring men are only single because they want to have attention and constant sex. Do you?

[foolycooly1001]

Probably most of them.

[Asker]

I think it is fairly common for the most alluring men to stay single so they can get with many girls. That is why I added that to the second half of the question.

But I think overall, the women just are expecting better and better guys and are too picky.

[Opinion Owner]

Well, if you think about it- if you're unusually attractive, you're going to get a lot of unwanted attention. So what might be an above average guy/girl for a plainer person, might seem like "one of those really annoying/perverted/creepy freaks" to the above average guy/girl. Because they're approached so often, they probably have a lower tolerance/higher pickniess level. But I don't think that's "too picky."

[Asker]

I HATE HATE HATE when a girl thinks a normal guy is annoying/perverted/creepy/freak when they do the EXACT same thing a hot guy does and gets the girl. I think every girl who thinks this way should be shot and raped...

This kind of thinking is why they are single, miserable and idiots...

sigh..moving on...

I am pretty sure these girls ARE being too picky, and not just ignoring the "plain" person, but also hot and great guys.

[Opinion Owner]

To the first part- there was actually a story about two guys trying to flirt with two girls, & both guys did exactly the same thing, but one girl married the guy and the other made the guy go to jail.

"every girl who thinks this way should be shot and raped..."

I think it's stupid too, but I think that reaction's kinda extreme...

I don't know if you're thinking of a specific person. But, yeah, there are picky girls out there, still. that's not the ONLY reason a pretty girl stays single.

[Asker]

I agree it is extreme. But as you pointed out with your story, a ladies perception of a guys personality is DIRECTLY related to how hot the guy is.

I really want to test this one day. Take three guys. One average, one above average and one SUPER SUPER hot. I know the hot guy I would use.

Anyway, have them basically recite from a script that they practiced and memorized. Each guy does this with 20 girls.

I bet the hot guy would get laid 20 times, the middle 5-7 and the 1st arrested.

[Opinion Owner]

We like hot guys, therefore we should be shot and raped...guys like hot girls. Therefore...it's fine.

Why is this so important to you? I agree with you, from a dang script, the hot guy would probably do a lot better, but heck, that's the same with a girl. It seems like you don't just want us to agree with you, you want us to be punished for what other people have done. So what on earth happened to you that's made you feel so strongly about all this?!

[Asker]

The problem is how poorly women treat guys that they feel are not attractive enough for them. They do this all while preaching "personality". Because they say they want a guy for their personality. Also doing this all while they get annoyed when they think a guy only wants them for sex and their looks.

Girls want a guy to desire them for who they are, and hate when their looks are noticed at all. But they treat guys WORST based on attraction. Two faced double standard liars.

[Opinion Owner]

Again, that's the same for all mankind, and again, why is this so important to you?

[Asker]

Men don't do it!

Men are up front and say they want a girl for looks, and then consider personality.

Women get so annoyed when they think a guy only wants their vagina!

This is so important to me, obviously, because most of the pretty women do this and then wonder why they get sh*tty boyfriends or none at all.

Spread the love around, stop being so damn picky...

and...when a guy is not attractive enough for you, please don't call him names. It tooks major confidence for him to approach you duh!

[Opinion Owner]

"Spread the love around, stop being so damn picky...

and...when a guy is not attractive enough for you, please don't call him names. It tooks major confidence for him to approach you duh!"

Dude, I don't do that.

If this is a personal problem, take this elsewhere. don't make it someone else's.

[Asker]

You may not do it! I imagine you dont. You wrote about OTHER girls doing it. This gives me the idea that you know what women do this. I have heard women say that sort of stuff as well!

It sickens me how cruel girls can be.

*notice I switched from "women" to "girls"

The problem is that somehow this kind of behavior has become acceptable.

[Opinion Owner]

Sweetheart, if girls being mean to you is the only behavior problem you've got, then be happy.

[Asker]

Lol. Girls are not mean to me!

I just hate to hear women call someone creepy, just because they came up and talked to them.

It is absurd and shows their true colors!

[Anonymous]

I know I'm picky and I been told many a time I'm pretty. I could have had a few boyfriends by now, but I've decided to wait until the right guy comes along. I know I'm slightly shallow, but how attracted I am to the guy to me matters a lot.

[Asker]

Thank you!

"but how attracted I am to the guy matters a lot"

I love it when girls are willing to admit things

I am pretty sure your case is representative of the realistic cases of at least 75% of hot women!

[Opinion Owner]

I have a personality where I can see the good in everyone, and don't take a lot of things to heart since I'm so laid back. If attractiveness for me wasn't a standard I would fall for anyone.

[livi23]

I stay away from most guys because all they want is sex, which I'm not willing to give when they want it (which is usually within the first month).

[Asker]

You must either be a virgin or have never really been pleased sexually.

Any girl who has really had good sex needs sex as much as men do.

Adults ave sex within a month normally. Are you an adult?

[livi23]

Virgin over here. No, I'm probably never going to have sex within a month unless I really like the guy, because if he's with me just for sex he's not worth my time.

[Asker]

If you are a virgin, I support waiting for the right guy.

The desire is not nearly as strong if you have never had a great orgasm!

[livi23]

Loool. Okay.

[dwiller943]

Or has self-respect. Or is sick of guys only being man enough to chase for sex and not love.

[Hades]

Usually.