[17F] my friend seems to get all the male attention and every single guy she meets only ever seems to pay attention to her. I understand why, but it’s so disheartening to see a guy blatantly ignore me and fawn over my friend. It doesn’t matter what I do or say, guys won’t even look at me if she’s there. I’m used to not getting much attention, but I might as well be invisible next to her. She doesn’t dress provocatively or do anything to lead men on. I understand she’s prettier than me, but is am I always going to be second best to her?
Guys always like my friend and never me, how do I get them to notice me?
If there is one thing I can agree with with the opinions of everyone else is the idea of needs. Marlow created a hierarchy of needs and first thing first is physiological needs which is food water shelter etc. When it comes to intimacy, the third tier, it boils down to whichever they feel may stand a chance of getting the needs met. So you should ask yourself, if you are wanting the attention of guys who are wanting the attention of your friend, do you really want to be what you are doing right now. Non verbal cues say a lot so may e look at what your friend does (touching, keeping things near her face and mouth, placement of hands around personal erogenous zones etc) these cues may explain why it is she is getting more attention. If you want that kind of attention mirroring how she behaves in the tiniest details. If you don't think it's that important and want another relationship, maybe consider spending time away from her and going places that yuou can meet someone, do some singles dating.
Only you can be you, don't mirror noone, live the way you feel is right and not what you think is others would like you to be. And first of all embrace your flaws and shortcomings, because later on those will be your greatest strenght, if you don't ignore it's presence.
I mean you're right, she should do what she feels is right, my apologies for this coming off in a such a way that suggests just to mimic. I am only stating that of she wants the ones that one her friend she may need to act like her friend to get what she wants. At the same time I am. It going to suggest anything I leave it up her I am just voicing some things to consider first, but most importantly yes she should do what feels right to her. It is her life
Everything is a matter of interpretation, that's why we have the ability to ask questions. There's no reason to be sorry, we are all just partners in understanding
I'll put it in my words when I had similar feelings with a close friend of mine.
My friend Steven would always get the girls attention in bars. It used to bug the crap out of me. It never made any sense! I look after myself, I take pride in my appearance, I am intelligent (or I think so haha) and I have always strided to be a good conversationalist. So it never made any sense to me why girls were always so cold to me.
Then I realized something...
I was so busy being upset and worried about what I was doing wrong I totally forgot to simply be myself!
I started simply enjoying myself instead of always trying ro draw attention away from my friend and sure enough I started getting attention!
My point is, stop worrying about it and just be who you are and enjoy yourself. Attention will follow.
The reason why your friend gets more attention than you is because you have an off putting, high requirement, think you have a lot of status vibe to you. You look like you're out to reject anybody that approaches you. You're certainly better looking but you're friend looks less mean, more open and friendly. If I was you, I'd stop trying to compete with your friend and would try to develop good personality characteristics. Enjoy yourself, smile more and be nice and friendly and watch them flock to you.
Fuck off. Maybe I don’t smile in pictures because I think i look ugly when I do. Also, in real life I smile a lot because I’m not a bitch, and I find shit funny
You think you look ugly? What!! You must be begging for attention. You are pretty. You just don't feel pretty. That's the definition of self confidence
I like the third pic, you're sorta down-to-earth, common looking, and I think that's almost a smile on your face. You've got everything you need, sometimes giving it all is too much. Use some of that goofiness and bubbly looks like your friend does, dont be afraid of being embarrassed
No that's not going to be permanent I promise you. You're still very young and developing plus people's opinions of what makes a person desirable changes as we age but changes significantly so and quite rapidly especially in your early years Just be patient and believe what I say ;)
As it is you then I really don't see how people don't go for you. You are very pretty. Don't get too disheartened about it. Life has a way of sorting itself out
First, I see you pics and your a beautiful girl, but SMILE, it makes you more approachable. Guys dont see a smile and they figure your pissed off, and no guys want to be anywhere near a pissy or bitchy girl.. Even if you not pissy or bitchy, but a smile just advertises you better..
You're very pretty, but a little intimidating, tbh. Trying to look or act friendly and inviting, in addition to being confident, is probably the secret. Is there friend you're referring to in any of these pictures?
Sometimes guys will go after the one they think they have a chance with. You are very attractive and probably a lot of guys assume they have no chance.
you can't force anyone to notice you or like you. it will happen, when its supposed to happen
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Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
If your profile picture is your own picture then I must say that either the guys are blind to see such a beauty or your friend is some goddess of appeal. You are beautiful and thats a truth.
Your right. But you currently outshine her. Just be yourself and forget about judging others. You have everything it takes to be happy whether you go solo or have someone. And don't hook up with someone just to not be alone.
She is her friend and a healthy friendship can not go without fair and fun competition between each other. If she would just run away from everything standing in her way, then she wouldn't have used this site. She is strong.
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