First Date - seeing a movie. Should I pay?

[Anonymous]

OK first of all I finally mustered the courage to ask this girl out to see a movie with me. (I didn't specifically call it a date, I was already nervous enough). Now I have 2 big questions:

1. When we meet should I pay for the movie? (which I kind of had in mind)

2. Should I try and make it clear that I would consider this a date (I'm half-way sure she understood it as that too) or should I use this opportunity to just enjoy it and have a good time and hope to get lucky for a next First Date?

Updates

+1 y

I think I will either try and ask her if she wants to go for a dinner before the movie (already bought the tickets online) or move to the Starbucks not far from the cinema, which got some comfy chairs/couches for some after-movie discussion.

Updates

+1 y

Thanks a lot for the great advices, we could barely stop smileing/flirting at each other and nearly missed the movie after dinner. Besides me wussing out when she wanted to kiss and only hugging her tightly it was a great date :D got a 2nd on Saturday :D

[themastaplan]

yes you should pay for the movie...what movie are you going to see?

heres the thing, good job on getting the courage to go and ask her to do something...a lot of people have trouble with that

now I wouldn't have chosen a movie as the first date really...youre already nervous so you'll be kinda wary as to what you can do...as far as putting your arm around her, holding her hand, etc...i would have done something more interactive where you can tart to get more comfortable with her talking and teasing and flirting and understanding what your limits are at this point...maybe try seeing if she'd lik to do soemthing else before this - the only reason I'm saying this is because I've made this mistake before when iw as in high school - doing the whole movie thing and all...maybe ask her if she wants to grab somethign to eat before hand...that way you can see what your limits are and how well you two connect before the movie...then you can see if its OK to put your arm around her (evertyhign went well at dinner, you had fun, laughed, flirted, etc)...now maybe try something quick and easy, but you need to give yourself some time to connect with her and get to know her better..

youve made it clear you find her attractive and all, but you wanna get to know who she is as a woman...going to ONLY a movie won't get you to this step..you'll meet up or you'll pick her up and you'll go out and watch the movie but its not like a movie at home where you can be goofy adn funny and talk...you ahve to be quiet and stuff...do you understand what I'm saying, you want her to know your funny, fun and able to ahve a good time...a movie can show this side of you but there are tons of other options...

try and think of some other ideas and hey I'm not saying a movie is the worst idea, but your also trying to get a next date...you need to stand out somehow, maybe if you can't get dinner anywhere see if she wants to do ice cream after the movie...you can just pick her up, talk ont eh way there, buy her a ticket, watch the movie (hopefully its a funny one) and then afterward talk about hte movie a little, your favorite parts and what not and then say hey lets go grab some ice cream voer at "ice cream place"...she'll either say sure or hey I gotta head home or whatever...HOPEFULLY she'll say sure and then you an interact and get to know her better that way..

hope this helps man, don't rush anything, you don't want her to think all you want is to get inside her pants, so don't make it out to be that way...be friendly and funny and cute, don't push too hard...most importantly have fun man! GO WITH THE FLOW, MAKE SURE SHES COMFORTABLE EVEN IF MAKING HER FEEL COMFORTABLE IS UNCOMFORTABLE FOR YOU, IT;'LL GO A LONG WAY

SORRY BOUT THE CAPS AT THE END, IM AT WORK AND DONT HAVE TIME TO GO BACK AND CHANGE IT...GOOD LUCK THO MAN, HOPE THIS HELPS - LET ME KNOW IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS

[Asker]

Yeah its a comedy, I let her pick the movie, cause I knew she wanted to see it for a while.

[tex151]

If this is a first date, you always pay or at least offer to pay, that is a rule follow it. You already got tickets, she will more than likely offer to pay for hers, simply say don't worry about it, you can get the next one.

Dinner depends on the time of your movie, if it's a late movie, you can grab a quick bite to eat, but if it's an early movie, then take her to dinner after. She is going to want to know if she should eat dinner before you go out, so that's up to you.

She is going to know it's a date, so you don't have to mention to her that it's a date, but always mention a second date while your on your first date, one more important thing, man up and kiss her or at least try.

[themastaplan]

I like the "dont worry about it, you can get the next one" -- good thinkin man I like I like

[greatbrittani]

1. A lot of people would say no because females are supposed to be independent and just as capable as men, and I don't mind paying for my movies or food, but there is something old-fashioned and chivalrous about the man paying for it. I LOVE when boys open doors for me. I'm not good at being a feminist. I've tried. It's just too much of a turn on when a boy tries to take care of me.

2. If it goes well you should kiss her at the end of the date. That would make it clear that you considered it a date. And call her the next day! I hate when boys don't call me back.

[Asker]

Kissing would be way overkill. But I've already been opening doors for her for a while now I guess she appreciate's it.

[NothingLastsForever]

If you're really interested in going further with this girl, to really get to know her, maybe lead to a relationship then pay.

If she tries to not let you pay, just say that you WANT to pay. and pay.

If you're not really sure, don't offer to pay.. Just see where it goes.

Well, I'm sure if you put y our arm around her or something she'll understand it's a date and a guy paying for the girl? that's definitely a date.

[Asker]

A relationship would really be the best thing that could happen :D

And the putting my arm around her would probably the maximum I would go for on a first date.

[pinklips]

pay for her, it would be a sweet little treat:)

girls love to be treated even if she says ts okay she will pay, you pay,besides its the least you can do for someone you like! When you pay she will get the motive that it is a date, I wouldn't go for the kill and try to kiss her, but hang out before the movie so you can communicate and get the shyness out! give it a shot:)

[Asker]

Good Idea!

[markml]

Can you buy the tickets online in advance?

That would be the smoothest thing to do, in my opinion. Plus, it's one less thing to worry about, since I'm sure you have a lot of other concerns. Otherwise, you risk there being confusion when you get there and she might buy her own ticket before you can even stop her.

As for your second question, I'm afraid I'm not going to be as much help, since I've never been sure of that either.

I would say that you shouldn't put too much pressure on yourself to force this into being your "first date" or feel that if something doesn't happen, you've screwed your chances...because if you do that, you might hi-jink yourself and walk out with a lot of regrets instead of enjoying yourself.

This is more advice for your own mojo than what's optimal in terms of what the girl wants. I don't know what she expects, and there's a good chance she doesn't even know. It probably depends on what kind of girl she is. But I do reason that if she has a goodtime, she'll want to come back for more. So that's why I would make your #1 priority to make sure you both have a goodtime together.

After the movie, you should take her somewhere where you can actually talk. The way I see it, the movie is better as an ice-breaker than being a complete date, and it gives you something to talk about. If you both liked the movie a lot then that's easy. If you didn't, then it's harder but you can still make fun of it.

[Asker]

The advice with buying the tickets in advance is good, I will do that, just still trying to figure out where to go before/after that.

[Totts]

1. Make sure that you offer to. Some girls will insist on paying half or for their own though, I wouldn't take it personally, some just like to show that they're not just using you for money/free sh*t.

2. I wouldn't bother, just worry about getting along first and take it from there, it's most likely implied if it's just the two of you and you asked her if she wanted to do it with just you.

Also, the update is a very good idea; movies aren't the best location for a first date if you ask me, you need a bit more communication and, for the most part, movies aren't a prime location for such things.

[iluvcartman]

If you want a second date it never hurts to pay for the first. That and if you pay it'll make it clearer to her that you consider it a date and not just two friends hanging out.