Would you give up meat for your vegetarian boyfriend if it was a deal breaker?

My boyfriend and I have had issues recently and one recurring issue is the meat/veg diet. I’m a meat eater and never saw myself change, he is vegetarian and has a strict Indian family life, where he believes that I need to also be vegetarian at home because I will be moving into his house.

He’s making me choose between being a vegetarian at home and breaking up with him. I’m very torn because I know it’s a hard change and decision and the answer I give now will be final. So even if I think I can do it now, I can’t change my mind. I keep going back and forth on my decision with this because I don’t know what it’s going to be like.

Would you break up with someone over dietary requirements for the long term?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • The fact that he is giving you a strict ultimatum of this kind of would give me the answer. It's not that he's saying, 'well I'm from a different culture, and we don't eat meat, so probably naturally you'd be eating less meat, is that cool?', etc.

    It kind of sets a precedence for you being submissive to his will and his whims.

    Personally, I'd tell him to go fuck himself. It's about respecting yourself and your perspectives, not being a good little doe-eyed sheep. Remember, it's not about how people treat us, but how we treat ourselves, and the decisions we make. But it's ultimately up to you, and the kind of life you want. This is all normative of course.

    But the fact that he's unwilling to be sensitive and communicative would ring alarm bells to me.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • No lol, i like meat it adds flavour.
    "He’s making me choose between being a vegetarian at home and breaking up with him" i don't like being black mailed so i think i know which one i'd go with.

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What Guys Said 204

  • No, I wouldn't, but I might compromise. I once had a vegetarian girlfriend, but I didn't give up anything I ate. When we cooked together I ate fish or vegetarian as a courtesy to her (it helped that I do like a lot of vegetarian dishes). Didn't do that if we ate with others.

    Most Indians are vegetarians, so it's cultural for him, and thus ultra-important.

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  • I would break up with someone who gave me an ultimatum like that. I would be wondering when the next one was coming, demanding that I change my mode of dress, or give up some other activity they find objectionable. So I would start with "What else? Is it just diet, or is there more? I'm not Indian. If you want an Indian woman, then you don't want me."

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  • Break up with that controlling asshole. It is very possible to simply eat separate dishes (or u eat your vegetarian dish with a side of meat cooked separately).

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  • Of course not.

    It should be my decision what I put in my mouth, but if my partner is very suggesting that I should eat better, okay then it makes sense, especially if they're trying to get me to eat less sugar and stuff.

    But a big change by removing a whole food group from your diet? Especially since you most likely require meat in the first place to survive, now that's just stupid. If he loves you, he'd let you do what you think is right for you or what you enjoy. If he forces you to go vegan, and your body can't handle the lack of nutrients that meats offer, then that's practically slow murder. (Okay, a bit extreme, but if he cares more that you strictly stay to veggies even though you feel horribly ill then he definitely isn't right in the head). This only means he's manipulative and controlling and wants his agenda forced onto people because of his own indoctrination.

    You'll only be stockholm'd if you permit yourself to obey every powerful wish of your significant other.

    Plus, if he cared, he wouldn't threaten and blackmail you with a breakup, he'd tell you that he just can't do it and that a diet is more important to him than a relationship.

    If he honestly is just trying to make you and him not look bad in front of his parents whenever you dine together, then he'd look for a work around. But he's not.

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  • Personally, I wouldn't stay with someone who doesn't accept me for who I am. Forcing someone to change for you is wrong. They're telling you there is something about you they don't like. But if they truly love you, they'd never give an ultimatum and force you to choose between being with them and being yourself.

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  • He is afraid that you are a meat eater and you might end up eating him as well one day.

    I am happy for you. Quitting meat is the single biggest transformation that you will be making to your life. It will help you a lot in your spiritual later during the course of your life. Meat is certainly not good for your body.

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  • You probably won't read this, but considering that he is keeping your food choice before you, its high time to think if the compromise now is really worth it.
    Its about what you both are considering the most important.
    You are willing to compromise even though you dont need to, he isn't.
    Are you at that point in life where you dont mind bending over backwards for someone who is walking all over you?
    Sorry that you are going through this, but I hope everything works out for you.

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  • I wouldn't break up over it. Another way to look at your question is, "Are you willing to give up being loved, for the sake of a dietary change?"

    I personally wouldn't. As my own SO is super picky with food. But I dont mind I'm still going to eat my guilty pleasures now and then but also keep her happy. You can do the same. If you need to get a meat fix do it on the side. And go back to eating what he does.

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  • I think if he's forcing his own beliefs on you, then his own love for you is not strong enough that he's willing to compromise. If his family forces the opinions on him or you, then you understand that the entire relationship is going to be restrictive.

    I wouldn't, unless your love for him exceeds your desire to eat meat. I would probably become vegetarian if I ABSOLUTELY loved the person, and they didn't force it upon me, but rather strongly desired it.

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  • Sounds pretty controlling. Also, he knew you ate meat when he got with you. He should've brought it up then.

    In your shoes, I'd tell him that you're not changing your eating habits, and you're DEFINITELY not taking any orders from him.

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  • FUCK NO. I'd tell him to fuck off. If that's a dealbreaker than he clearly doesn't value what you care about and it'll probably be a slippery slope from here on out. Either he accepts you and your choices or he has to fuck off and find a mindless puppet.

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  • Perhaps a compromise can be reached, and you just don't bring meat into the house? That way, if you're out with friends or something, or even just at work, you can still have meat if you choose (imo though, it's a good thing to at the very least have vegetarian days)

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  • Definitely no, tell him about accepting you as you are. If i were you, i'd be the one giving an ultimatum to this nonsense. Despite of it, i am pretty sure you can find someone more interested in you than his own diet ;)

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  • Jeez, I don't like this guy for the simple reason he's forcing you into this. My opinion, if he really loves you that much he'd find a way around it. And hey, girls like some good mean every once in a while right? (If ya know what I mean... *Wink wink*)

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  • Honestly this guy should not be trying to change you but love you for who you are and accept your choices beliefs and opinions. Tell him if he wants to start making deal breakers then you happen to have an item on the menu that he no longer needs to enjoy anymore as well.

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  • I'm vegetarian, and would not get into a serious relationship with a girl who was not vegetarian, or willing to become one, as I wouldn't want the dilemma you are facing, for either of us. However, you are in that situation. A difficult decisions, yes. But one that has to be made. It sounds like you are giving it real thought, and that is what is necessary, if meat eating is important to you.

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  • I'd break up over that, yes.

    It's a massive cultural red line for me, this.

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  • You would definitely have problems adjusting with his family since, he'll probably stay with his parents even after marriage.
    Now, it's your choice whether you want to adjust or not.
    He has his problems so, I don't think he would be able to stand up for you.
    If, you both are living separately then, it would be fine.
    I won't break up over it and, maybe find a solution for it.

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  • not, it is so stupid, honestly, this is what religious beliefs do to people after all, they simple make people do stupid shit like this, shit of which they almost always become repentant lately in life.

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  • Never change who you are for someone else. That is a lesson I learned after 25 years trying to make the woman I love happy. It still ended in divorce.

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What Girls Said 135

  • Yes I would because I'm not a fan of meat anyway. It would be different if I did actually like meat because it would be harder.

    However, regarding your situation, I'd break up with him. I don't like the fact that he's forcing you to do something like that. It's not his choice what you eat. If you decided to do it for him and it was your idea, it would be different.

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  • No. If you get with me knowing I eat meat/don't eat meat then you are basically agreeing to accept that about me. If you love me you'll get over it.

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  • Sorry, you don’t tell me what I do and don’t eat. Bye.

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  • That's not an option for me I'm just one of those people who can't give up on meat

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  • Well, it wouldn't be a deal breaker for me because I am already a vegetarian. However, someone giving me an ultimatum like that-would probably be a deal breaker for me.
    When it comes to his family, you could seriously just cook for yourself (or if is implied his mom will cook everything) just form a little meat patty and put it on the side. I know you're on the outside looking in, but it's sooo easy to accommodate meat eaters, you just add meat haha.
    Personally, the change isn't hard, especially if his mom will be cooking everything-all you do is eat, the hardest part would be if you like the food/flavor.
    But then again, my big issue is that he wants you to change yourself for him and his family-as if your values aren't as important (and hell, this is coming from someone who doesn't even eat meat)
    As someone who has only dated guys who eat meat, I never asked them to change. In fact, we cooked meals together (and though I stopped doing it years ago) they will cook meat sometimes and put it on the side.

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  • Nah, I wouldn’t want to be with someone like that. I’ve thought about becoming a vegetarian and I think it’s still possible I might become one in the future. But then it has to be on my own terms. Having my partner try to pressure me because he’s one is not cool. And what if I did it for a couple of years but then felt like it’s not really for me? Then I would have just prolonged a situation that was never going to work out.
    In general I find it distasteful when someone tries to change a massive aspect of their partner’s lifestyle. We’re not talking about a small adjustment, like learning how to put the lid of the toilet down after using it. Like either it’ll happen or it won’t, but presenting an ultimatum is never cute. I prefer relationships in which both parties respect each other’s differences and celebrate them. I’d be more open-minded about it if my boyfriend was like ”hey, taste this awesome vegetarian dish I just made” instead of being like ”hey, we’ll break up if you don’t eat these fucking veggies”.

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  • I know a lot of couples where one of them is a vegetarian and the other isn’t, they cohabitation just fine. The meat eater generally cooks a piece of something and has whatever the other is for the sides.
    The fact he’s not willing to compromise, such as not wanting to cook meat himself or buy it doesn’t bode well for future hardships

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  • Would he eat meat for me? No. Why would I not eat it for him? Either accept I eat meat and you don't, or it really won't work.

    Can you do something like have separate pots pans etc for when you're having meat? Then his food doesn't even need to touch a surface that meat touched before.

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  • Don't compromise with someone if it ain't gonna be a positive one. You should eat and enjoy the way you are unless you think you can adapt to him and his families ways. As a woman you are no one's property so if he is trying to make you chose between a break up and becoming vegetarian (seems petty) think about the pros and cons that will come with it in the future.

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  • I wouldn't give up meat , but I'd learn new vegetarian recipes so I could cook for him some times. I'd respect that he's a vegetarian, so he'd need to respect that I'm not.

    But if he gave me an ultimatum by forcing me to choose between him and meat... I'd choose meat lol I'd never be controlled by anyone like that.

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  • Look at it the other way around. If he should start eating meat in order to be with u would he do it?
    Absolutely not.
    Now u know the answer

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  • Your body and you know what it wants. I am a meat lover and I personally would not give it up. If he is making you change this way now imagine how much more he would want to change about you after you move in? I suggest you decide carefully, no one can decide for you.

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  • Personally, I wouldn't mind not eating meat for the rest of my life, but then again, I live with a vegetarian (my dad), so he raised me to be able to eat almost anything. I'm not that picky as long as it tastes decent enough and is healthy.

    On the other hand, this is not a "you have no choice" kind of thing, from my perspective. If you don't want it, you frankly don't have to go with. Might want to try talking to him more about this and telling him he's being a little paranoid.

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    • No offense intended to your boyfriend! I've never had one so I don't know how to deal with them, and I'm not really good with being not harsh when I say things, but here: if he is not going to accept you for who you are (personality, lifestyle, habits), and he tries to change you... I honestly don't think it's worth it. Especially if meat is that important to you. You know?

      For me, giving up meat isn't an issue. But thinking about it from your view, that's pretty big. Make the choice that will ensure you the most happiness in the future. Good luck.

  • So I feel like you can respect their rules and don’t eat meat around them but on your own time you can always eat meat.
    Even if you stop eating meat you can always be healthier and it’s a benefit at the end of the day.
    The terms and conditions for me would be : I eat meat anytime anywhere I want besides when you around them.
    I feel like they should respect that foreal.
    Whatever decision you make good luck!

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  • I love fish, and I dont think I could ever give it up, that being said if he did not want me to eat fish, then I wouldn't INFRONT of him. He's going to have to deal with it because my family eats meat, so if he were to come to family dinners he can't expect my family to just eat vegetarian because he is one.

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    • I think its harsh but it's not like you're not open to eating vegetarian meals. So I think a balance is important and its very rude of him to firstly GET IN A RELATIONSHIP with you in the first place if this was going to be an issue down the line.

  • I’m a vegetarian, and my boyfriend loves meat. I would never try and make him change.

    Your situation might be slightly different because it seems like his vegetarianism is religion based... is there any way you could come to a compromise? Like if you bought a mini fridge to put meat in, and cooked with only with certain pots and utensils?

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  • I wouldn't break up with someone over that. Everyone has a choice in life. If you wanna eat meat or veggies. Tattoos and piercings or not. There's a lot of choices people make as individuals that no matter what they will be judged by someone.

    I think if he truly loved you he wouldn't break up with you. If its meant to be it will. If suggest trying it but you said you werent given the option of going back which I think is bs. Everyone has a right to make their own choices in life.

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  • Well I don’t think it’s fair that you are expected to bend for him while he gets to stay how he is. There has to be a common ground. I wouldn’t stand for that if I were you... but, if you don’t think you have a choice.. do what you’ll be happy with in the end. If not eating meat is worth making him happy, that’s all you girl.

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  • I am not telling you what to do with your relationship because you ultimately have to decide for yourself.

    But I personally feel that life is so short, you must as well eat what you want. If you think converting to a vegetarian is hard for you, then this relationship probably isn't the best one for you. If I had to change my diet for my partner, the relationship will not work out.

    All the best!

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  • Fuck no, I eat what I like, if it was a reason to be more healthier then I may eat more lean meats and more fish. But just to satisfy someone of being become vegetarian or not be my girlfriend any more, I'd choose to be single. With most meals it's the meat I look forward to, so without it I'd have no excitement with meals, and probably end up not eating since I have no want, to eat something.

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