Would you give up meat for your vegetarian boyfriend if it was a deal breaker? (Page 2)

Question

My boyfriend and I have had issues recently and one recurring issue is the meat/veg diet. I’m a meat eater and never saw myself change, he is vegetarian and has a strict Indian family life, where he believes that I need to also be vegetarian at home because I will be moving into his house. He’s making me choose between being a vegetarian at home and breaking up with him. I’m very torn because I know it’s a hard change and decision and the answer I give now will be final. So even if I think I can do it now, I can’t change my mind. I keep going back and forth on my decision with this because I don’t know what it’s going to be like. Would you break up with someone over dietary requirements for the long term?

snowshy · Answer

I'd break up with him. Take it as a clear red flag and an easy escape. I know that some vegetarians and vegans are so for moral reasons, but tough, if you want to coexist with other people, you need to accept their habits aren't directly affecting you. Leave him and consider yourself lucky

This is something he should have stressed in the beginning. He is being selfish

5x9BOB · Answer

Honestly this guy should not be trying to change you but love you for who you are and accept your choices beliefs and opinions. Tell him if he wants to start making deal breakers then you happen to have an item on the menu that he no longer needs to enjoy anymore as well.

Cmasterson · Answer

I love fish, and I dont think I could ever give it up, that being said if he did not want me to eat fish, then I wouldn't INFRONT of him. He's going to have to deal with it because my family eats meat, so if he were to come to family dinners he can't expect my family to just eat vegetarian because he is one.

markscott · Answer

I'm vegetarian, and would not get into a serious relationship with a girl who was not vegetarian, or willing to become one, as I wouldn't want the dilemma you are facing, for either of us. However, you are in that situation. A difficult decisions, yes. But one that has to be made. It sounds like you are giving it real thought, and that is what is necessary, if meat eating is important to you.

lovelyhoneybones · Answer

If your relationship is having problems because of what you EAT then that relationship isn't meant to be. If my boyfriend didn't like my life style and it honestly bothered him that much, to the point of him straining our relationship, he wouldn't be my boyfriend. There are so many reasons why relationships fail and then you have idiotic ones like this.

Nadia1994 · Answer

No I wouldn't. He should accept your eating habits as they are as you've accepted his. Ask him how he would feel if you forced him to eat meat? He'll never do it and he'll probably understand then what you're going through.

No one can force their choices upon you.

happyhippo · Answer

Honestly, I'd never do it. I could change the style of mine (a little bit), I could change a little something, but not eating meat is not something I would do. If I loved him and wanted to live with him, I'd offer to cook two dishes a day, or simply something that could be eaten both with and without meat.
Also with the way he said it - being a vegetarian or breaking up, there's only one way I'd go. Sorry but that's not how you make anyone change.

TallAnon · Answer

FUCK NO. I'd tell him to fuck off. If that's a dealbreaker than he clearly doesn't value what you care about and it'll probably be a slippery slope from here on out. Either he accepts you and your choices or he has to fuck off and find a mindless puppet.

Caaarl · Answer

That's a pretty big lifestyle change. If you're not eating the same food you shouldn't be force to adopt his eating habits. I just don't think it's worth it to change. There are other guys out there. If he's unwilling to change for you why should you do the same for him.

Goochbreaker · Answer

Carnism is the ultimate expression of domination over another being and if you actively participate in that process what makes you think you are deserving of a happy and free life? We are all born into evil processes, carnism is just one of them, if you have a boyfriend trying to push you in the right direction I would be thankful. I wouldn't be so harsh myself but I would definitely try and push my significant other in that direction. Don't do it for him, do it for you!

Anonymous · Answer

It's called premeditation.
He knew from the start it would come to this, why did he even start dating you?

I think it's very unfair and selfish of him to ask you that. It's like saying "now that we live with my family, you cannot celebrate Christmas anymore", except that's also actually imposing what you eat on a regular basis, since I doubt you will be eating out every single day.

I wouldn't put him or his family in front of my own heritage and health.

godfatherfan · Answer

Never change who you are for someone else. That is a lesson I learned after 25 years trying to make the woman I love happy. It still ended in divorce.

kitty71 · Answer

No way dump him. This is an indication things are not going to be bright for you if you move in with him. There will always be issues and discussions for you and him when it comes to eat. I mean a guy breaking up due to a meal issue? Common that is the dumbest thing I ever Heard.

Dxk007 · Answer

You would definitely have problems adjusting with his family since, he'll probably stay with his parents even after marriage.
Now, it's your choice whether you want to adjust or not.
He has his problems so, I don't think he would be able to stand up for you.
If, you both are living separately then, it would be fine.
I won't break up over it and, maybe find a solution for it.

potatoisme · Answer

Look at it the other way around. If he should start eating meat in order to be with u would he do it? Absolutely not. Now u know the answer

Anonymous · Answer

I respect an individual's decision to remove meat from their lives but I personally couldn't do it. I'm happy to learn about what they do and don't eat and how to adapt meals for them, but if it's a deal breaker for them then the relationship won't work

Chadster · Answer

Personally think it's selfish of him. I know an Indian Hindu family that the wife is strictly vegetarian and the husband eats fish and meet as well as vegetarian dishes. They get along just fine. She explained to me when they reach 18 years of age they are given their own choice of diet to follow.

britpop · Answer

That's a horrible situation to be in personally I wouldn't accept ultimatums from a man who clearly thinks more of what others think than what I do also my older sister is a vegetarian and turned full vegan for her partner they separated and she suffered health problems as a result of her diet and now eats dairy products again

adamski24 · Answer

Never change just to please someone else.
This looks like a sign of things to come of you being the little wife at home who will not sleek and will have to do as he says.
I understand you may love him but it's best for you to do it now before it's to later and you upset everyone.
I also understand it's their beliefs etc but you don't want to live with the in-laws.

TheUglyMonk · Answer

Tell him he should´ve told you about that when you first met, dropping the bomb on you like that and making you choose is quite the dick move.

People who make you choose between them and something else are the most annoying people on the face of the earth.

Roxanne_RMBR · Answer

It's not so much about the dietary issues but that he is forcing you into a decision that you are not comfortable making. I would break up. What part of yourself is he going to decide he dislikes next and then hold it over you.

VeryConfused987 · Answer

I'm vegetarian but I'd never expect someone to give up meat for me, and would never eat meat for someone else. They'd need to respect my diet as I respect theirs.

ObliviousJester · Answer

He knew what you would eat, and probably has for how long now. So he can't suddenly be like "oh, you need to change this about yourself". So if I was in that situation, I'd be giving the big fuck off to him.

Princess-alexandra · Answer

I would only if we had been together for a while, were moving in together, and I could see us possibly getting married in the future. It'd have to be a serious relationship for me to start changing my life to match his.

rickmorgan1 · Answer

Definitely no, tell him about accepting you as you are. If i were you, i'd be the one giving an ultimatum to this nonsense. Despite of it, i am pretty sure you can find someone more interested in you than his own diet ;)

VegetaSSB · Answer

not, it is so stupid, honestly, this is what religious beliefs do to people after all, they simple make people do stupid shit like this, shit of which they almost always become repentant lately in life.

Warmapplecrumble · Answer

I wouldn't change my diet for anyone.

I used to be vegan, then vegetarian. I had severe anaemia and I had to eat meat. Now my anaemia has gone.

Diet = health. And you shouldn't sacrifice health over love.

shashank1990 · Answer

If you have to change yourself for him and you don't want to do it then the guy is not for you.
The girl I'm in love with is a meat eater and it doesn't bother me at all even though I'm a stauch vegetarian.

Bridgeburner206 · Answer

I'd break up if anyone put restrictions on what I can eat. I ended it with a vegan because she couldn't stop preaching and judging me, my family, and friends. I chose bacon over her, and regret nothing.

scarlett · Answer

If any partner gave me an ultimatum like that, I would tell them they made my decision a LOT easier and leave them. I don't play games and life is too short to spend with a demanding, controlling, and overbearing jerk.

FlyingPikachu · Answer

For me the choice would be easy! I just say bye bye then.. sometimes its hard to say goodbye but don't force to change yourself for somebody else because THEY believe in something doesn't mean you have to believe it as well.. just think about it!

BlueDream · Answer

That sucks, so its his way or the highway? He needs to accept you for who you are just as you are accepting him. You need respect each other's beliefs, but he's basically converting you into someone you are not. Sorry, but I wouldn't stick around.

lexythelou22 · Answer

I wouldn't stay with someone who's giving me absolutely no choice and demanding that I change my lifestyle. I don't care what the reasoning. You don't get to dictate someone's lifestyle just because you live together.

GTown · Answer

Never let a man change who you are. He needs to find flexibility in your beliefs I wouldn't allow someone to try change me too much. Or if it ends you will feel so broken as you have put his beliefs before yours. If he loves you he will accept this

piriripororo · Answer

Love above all things always. If someone put me in such a situation I'd definitely walk away after all true love is not about changing the other but living and supporting the differences anyway.

EvilAngel114 · Answer

Nope! But he must realize that includes his meat too. Soooo...

Scott29 · Answer

This is just the beginning, today food, tomorrow family, etc. Run away, he is a control freak! This is coming from a control freak, I am different than most controlling men. I know what I do and I hate it but I can't change! Most controlling men will never admit that they are control freaks!

Elena813 · Answer

Personally I dont think it’s going to work. There’s no compromise. I’m vegan and I coukd never date someone who ate meat because it’s an ethical thing and I just couldn’t be with someone who didn’t share the same values as me. Just like with everything else, people don’t stay together because someone wants kids and the other doesn’t you guys have to be able to share the same beliefs when I‎t comes to things like that because tbh you can’t meet in the middle it’s either a yes or no.

Hai_tis_E · Answer

I wouldn’t break up with him because of the diet but because he’s being an unreasonable asshole. Your diet is your first he cannot make you eat or not eat anything, that is a choice you need to make on your own.

Charleslvajr · Answer

That's a piss poor individual who would force a dumb ass choice like that. It starts with this kind of crap and graduates into other control issues. I would tell anybody such and give them the opportunity to rescind their demand.

Anonymous · Answer

I Don’t Care What A Person Eats, Just Don’t Push Your Beliefs On Me Expecting Me To Change What I Eat...

pink1980 · Answer

I don’t eat meat. Wouldn’t be an issue.

If I was being forced into eating meat or breaking up. I would leave. Out of all the problems a relationship can have being a vegetarian should never be one.

TripleAce · Answer

Would they give up the idea of me having to give up something?  I think that's more fair. She eats what she wants. I eat what i want Why do i have to give up food for her i don't get it? Lol

oddwaffle · Answer

Break up. He is a dick. Did you know that if you feed bad tasting food to prisoners they will stop eating and riot? Delicious meat is a requirement for true happiness.

N2thing · Answer

I might consider and try out if he really values it a lot. There is no harm in trying out. Whether I´d really stop eating meat is the question.  Veganism will be a NO.

ladsin · Answer

Relationships are built on compromise and discourse. If he isn't willing to do that with you then I'd think that it does not bode well for your relationship whatever your choice now.

bless294 · Answer

He should be able to accept your decision, maybe just don’t eat meat in front of him, and as long as he knows you do it eat and not in front of him, you don’t need to tell him if you did.

girlygirlyyes · Answer

If he loves u he'll accept the way you are... today is non veg tomorrow something else... believe me it never ends... I did leave nonveg for 4 years and it's horrible...

kahn048 · Answer

I was a heavy meat eater when I met my girlfriend. She was a kinda strict vegetarian. After 4 years, I am trying to be vegan as much as possible whereas she eats meat with me every now and then because I can cook meat based dishes quite good. I personally try to avoid extreme positions on everything. So my situation was one of compromise. Coming back to your situation, seems like he is trying to impose his belief system on you, which I would not be ok with if I were in your shoe

LittleSally · Answer

Ummm... no... Why should I eat what he wants me to eat just so I can stay with a controlling jackass? Makes no sense - you'd be punishing yourself doubly.

Shaorie · Answer

No, because you shouldn't be forced to change your lifestyle and choices for someone else. If he doesn't accept you for who you are and what you like / eat then when should you bother being with him?

darkfoxjj · Answer

Compromise. Do not change who you are if you are not happy with it.  It is not like you are affecting his health with your habits like smokers can do. There should be mutual respect for each other.

liarenae · Answer

No I wouldn't change. Changing your diet drastically like that isn’t easy and it wouldn't be easy to maintain right away. If you do want to change, he should at least allow you to slowly transition instead of “boom pow” Im a vegetarian

ZeroMicki · Answer

My opinion is that if he loves you enough he would understand but also if you love him you could maybe try before you move in with him but if you do not think you could live without meat and your partner can't be with someone who eats meat you two are better breaking things off.

Carley99 · Answer

No I wouldn't the both of us as partners should be able to make different decisions from the other person and asking someone to change what they consume for you is unnecessary.

Jos1510 · Answer

I don't consume meat on a daily basis, I would rather eat healthier too, but not because of this would I allow someone to make me choose. If a person loves you they should accept you the way you are and respect that you don't have the same believes. If it was such a big issue it should have been discussed earlier in the relationship.

tomeet · Answer

It's not valid reason to breakup, if he's suggesting for break up over food related issue. He is planning to break up with you, he is just finding reason. Check with him over once. I know it's easy to say and but the feeling is intense to do it. Dump him first, not feel heartbroken later.

sharkattackgirl · Answer

I was vegetarian and I stopped while dating my boyfriend not because he wanted me too but because it was easier. I would choose the relationship over food any day tho. It's just food. And a vegetarian diet is proven to be healthier so it couldn't hurt

springocelot · Answer

no. i wouldn't date a vegetarian to begin with. I'd imagine it get really annoying eating meat behind his back or him asking you if you ate meat while you were out alone with friends.

Dre_808 · Answer

No I would not give up meat. I don't think it's right that you have to give up meat. The whole thing sounds very selfish on his part. You are better off finding someone who will accept you for who you are.

Would you give up meat for your vegetarian boyfriend if it was a deal breaker? (Page 2)

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