Do you tend to adopt the interests of your crush?

For example:
They're super into Lord of the Rings, so you watch all the movies and start to read the books.
Or they're super into mixed martial arts, so you read up on what's happening in that world.
Or they really like grunge music, so you listen to all the grunge you can find.

It's not that you're faking interest in these things- You genuinely want to understand why he/she is so passionate about XYZ and you're hoping to share in that passion.

I think I've done this before and I'm wondering if that's a good or bad thing. Is it somewhat deceitful to be extra excited about some topic that you aren't really all that well-versed in?

I'm not sure if any of you guys have seen 27 Dresses- It's a pretty terrible romantic comedy movie. One of the characters likes a guy sososo much she basically pretends to have the same exact interests so that he will like her back. There was a lot of drama when he found out what was going on, but I also think he was somewhat flattered by how much she wanted him to like her back. Anyways, share your thoughts!

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Most Helpful Guy

  • When you spend enough time with someone, you start to see the world through their eyes, in a manner of speaking. There is nothing wrong with discovering new interests that you would have otherwise ignored if you didn’t know that person.

    However, feigning interest is really lame. It is really disappointing to have conversations like this:

    ME: I thought you said you really liked that song.

    HER: I just said that because I was having a good time with you and I didn’t want to ruin the mood.

    ME: Oh. I wish you had felt comfortable with with just being honest about it.
    [Feeling disappointed because that is my favorite song and all this time I thought that was something we both liked].

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    • I completely agree. I think feigning interest is a problem... especially if you keep up the facade.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Yes i do actually, but only if its my type of thing, but if they introduce me to hobbies and i think i'll enjoy them then i'll happily give them ago and try them as well :) but i'd never pretend to be into something so they'd like me that pointless, like most guys i've been with were obsessed with football but i didn't pretend to like that :P

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    • That's the right way. A guy shouldn't force you into something you don't want to do either

    • Right, I think if it sounds like something you might like, it makes sense to try it out. But if it's totally out of your comfort zone or interest... lol

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 23

  • Hmm not my crush, but a long term girlfriend yeah. I took on some strange things like makeup from one of them, period dramas and photography from another. It’s not quite as fanatical as you describe, but the subjects don’t bore me at all anymore.

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    • ... make up? lmao. Period dramas... I bet Downton Abbey is mixed up in there :)

    • Mhmmm makeup, one of my ex’s was really into it (it’s why I broke up with her the first time she took it off) j/k. I don’t wear it but i know sort of how to paint it in and when it’s done well or not.

      Poldark and downton abbey are in there yus! I loooove them, it’s my guilty pleasure I’d NEVER admit to my boys.

    • Lmao. Fascinating :p I have had Poldark on my watchlist for months... Might give it a go since it's been officially endorsed :D

  • No. It would be fake and I'd just be forcing it. I wouldn't expect her to be into all the same things I'm into. Similarly, it wouldn't surprise me at all if they hate some of the things I love and didn't want to make an effort to know more about it.

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    • So you wouldn't want her to check out your interests?

    • I would love it if she does. I'd love it if we can have talks about the things I love. But I'm not going to force it. She can check out my interest (s). But if she doesn't feel the same way about it as I do then I will accept it and not try to force her to become more interested.

    • I think footy sucks...

      😈

  • For me it's natural to ask questions about things that the other person likes to get a better understanding of what it is.

    I may even do a little research to learn a little bit more. At least so I'm able to understand and follow what they're talking about on XY or Z. I don't think I've ever adapted a new like or Hobby because of the person I was dating. But it doesn't mean it won't happen sometime.

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  • I don't adopt interests, but I am more inclined to look into things I already have an interest in, such as an anime I haven't gotten around to watching or a video game I haven't had the chance to play yet

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  • I think it's normal that when you like someone, you're interested in what they do in their life and if you're not familiar with it, you could talk with them about it, look it up on the internet or try it for yourself. But it's not something you should force, if you don't like something you should just be honest about it, we can't all like the same things

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  • Not really. If it sounds interesting to me, then I'll have a look and see if it's something I like, so that we could have more things to talk about, but if I'm genuinely not interested in their interest then I won't do that.

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  • I think it's not unusual to have your interests converge, particularly in a long term relationship.

    Nor is it unusual to be curious about the things that your crush gets excited about.

    Neither of those things are crossing the line into deceitful territory, not at all.

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  • No but most people tend to adopt my characteristics

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    • Like what?

    • Like when going to a restaurant the things that I order they order exactly what I order every time. And on many occasions the certain words that I say they, they seem to copy me

  • Yes to some extent. I think as long as you don’t forget yourself, adding the interests of those you enjoy is a good thing.

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  • I am curious about my girlfriend's interests that did not interest me before we got together. E. G. crochet. I will go to yarn stores with her, ask her about types of yarn, patterns, what certain terms mean etc. I do it because I know it makes her feel good telling me about it. I feel we need to have our own interests as well as common interests.

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What Girls Said 4

  • I don’t really adopt their interests... as that means I’m taking them on as my own personal ones. I do take an interest in their hobbies and try to educate myself so I know what he’s talking about, but I wouldn’t say I’m invested lol.

    The only one kind of borderline for this would be soccer... my husband lives and breathes it, he’s so passionate and it’s grown on me simply because I enjoy his passion and being able to share that

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  • My crush doesn't like me back. So definitly No.
    And I actually never adopt my crushes their interests.

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  • So I'm dating an 18 yr old guy at the moment who is passionate about what is occurring in the Palestine and also Jordan because family is from there and he would always share videos on Facebook about the issues occurring there involving Trump. Until reading your question, I finally came to realise that I've been doing my own research on the occurring issues. He plays soccer aiming towards the more professional side but when he talks non stop about the games he watches, I don't want him to stop talking. I don't know about anyone else but I definitely find it 100% attractive when a guy talks about their interests with passion. It can also be a real turn on. Funny how you don't really realise you're adopting their interests until it's brought up.

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    • I completely agree! It's so attractive to see how passionate a guy is about his interests :) It's hard to not get caught up in that enthusiasm.

  • Yeah, when my ex and I were dating, I would try to get into the metal music he listened to. No matter how I tried, I couldn't get into it at all.

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