Why do I get no attention from girls?

Question

I'm kind of going on a rant so here it goes. I'm 23 years old and I'm still a virgin. I've never even had a girlfriend before and I'm a little upset by it. I have a very introvert personality so I'm not very close with anybody apart from my family. I started lifting at 20 because I wanted girls to notice me more and gain respect from guys but none of that has happened. People constantly tell me I'm good looking but I don't believe it. I only bodybuild right now because I love it and grew an actual passion for it but it wouldn't hurt if people took notice of me more. I'm still a shy person and tend never really to talk to strangers which I guess explains why I have no friends. I really would love to talk to girls but I'm just too shy. I thought bodybuilding would help me with my social anxieties but they've stayed the same or even gotten worse. Done: rant over.

That-Guy · Accepted Answer

First of all, good job on the body building.

You've pretty much outlined what you could improve on and given the discipline and dedication to body building.. you can apply that towards other areas that you'd like to improve ie: shyness and no friends.

You are an introvert which is great! you enjoy smaller groups and 1-1 settings and of course... you're alone time (recharge time).

So back to the question, why no attention?
- Whelp... women based their attraction on their "FeeLings." They are intuitive creatures and they want someone with confidence (nothing ground breaking right)? Regardless of what you look like, if you are not secure with who you are... it's pretty much like a fat chick for them.

- Yes... you can have insecurities as we all do however you can still be confident.

-- "i tried talking to a girl and i could not get anything going. I asked her questions and whelp! didn't go as planned.. wasn't meant to be :)

-- "i tried talking to a girl and she's boring... she had nothing to say. She's one of those pretty types whose too good."

One of these sentences has confidence while the other projects and blames...

I am now lost with my point.

Advice: don't worry about girls. Work on finding friends -- buddies, platonic female friends. Humans are innately social creatures... if you listen to any TedTalk about happiness... 1 thing in common is that it's humans who are part of a clan ship and feel like a contributing member of a community.
- - you'll feel happier, you'll appear more confidence doing social things with friends and women around will just pick up on that.

Also.. slow down on the porn (generic advice).

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

It's your personally bro. Trust me, I have the exact problem 100%. Don't get wrong your personality within in itself is just fine. But girls nowadays won't like that kinda personality. Today people are waaaay more social than ever before. Also you'll have that group of girls who stereotype good looking guys and think that they are assholes. So you have two negatives working against you. Plus I think narcissism today plays a factor as well. I spoke with older guys that were my age back in the 90's. They all say that guys who looked like me and you back in the 90's were lady killers. Simply based off of appearence. Not personality or anything else. In our day I'm sure social media plays a big part as well. Hell back then they didn't have cell phones. Social media and cell phones were a dating game changer. Social media also leave plenty room for narcissism. Here's my advice - Not sure if it's the best way or not but I've solved my issue. Seeing how it is today I'm not even searching for a real relationship. I got my money up and just pay for what I want. In the end all the rest of the go getters pay some type of price as well.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Boy you cute and have a great body, but you need to be personable/approachable too. Cause trust girls are noticing you but if you don't seem personable it won't go past looking at you. You unfortunately have to work on breaking free from your shell. And I know it's easier said than done cause trust I'm the same way. I have never really had a serious boyfriend or anything and despite people telling me I'm pretty and can't believe you're single, I don't really have a whole lot of guys approach me. But that's starting t Change a bit and I'm noticing that other people lik who I am too and honestly it's a cool feeling. Not that you should solely seek validation but i mean it's nice. But it's nice to have people who like u and u lik them and you can get alomg and have a good time with. So I suggest you start by making friends. And who knows maybe you'll get a girlfriend out of it. It'll be less pressure on you if you're on the hunt for a friend first than a girlfriend cause you're less critical of yourself and I mean they say the best elationships came from friendships so yeah. go out and challenge yourself! do something you usually wouldn', talk to a stranger. Bby steps but before you know it it'll be more natural to you. Trust

Natattack21 · Accepted Answer

Well, the problem sounds like you have more of a problem with being an introvert than being noticed by girls. Cause, Im a girl... and I notice that your are handsome.

Bodybuilding is a sport, people are constantly competing with one another to look better, etc. You have the respect because you have gotten this far. But, it is also a difficult sport to have conversations in. When you're working out... what is the first thing you see someone doing? Putting their earbuds in so that they can listen to music. So, really your adding to introvert tendencies.

Putting yourself into different situations that you are NOT at all comfortable in, for example, maybe a dance class, etc. You are probably going to be in a room of women, and very smart men.

If you want to help your social anxieties, then you have to put yourself in a place where you will be anxious, and make yourself work around it.

btbc92 · Accepted Answer

The answer is so simple is not even funny. You're far too desperate. You have no real purpose for dating you just want to lose your virginity and you just want somebody to say you have somebody, because you're afraid to be alone. He trying to impress a girl with many girls are not looking to be impressed. They want to know what you have to offer at the other guys are already offering.

Another issue is that you're trying to pick up girls and that is a bad move to be doing. You know how many guys trying to build muscle just to try to track girls as much as possible? Try nearly 50% of the world's population. You being shy is not the issue. You don't know how to communicate and you don't have valid reasons to be involved in any kind of relationship. You need to get your priorities on life in order first before you even think about trying to step into somebody else's life.

jennifer_bloom · Accepted Answer

quit the gym and join a religious organization and then force yourself to mix and mingle with others. With time your confidence will improve. You could also try to raise your self-esteem by doing good deeds such as volunteering at an old folks home or an animal shelter or a food bank.

alienturd · Answer

I used to be a big pussy (still am but wose more before) I couldn't look not even speak to girls and everytime I did my head would jerk and I would go red. This making the whole situation even worse.

Then one day I decided that I need to cage so I started to fix my appearance and changed my style. I then started taking with a girl online and just had friendly conversations everyday (we were both awkward so it worked out). Then when we were comfortable we facetimed and then met.

Gradual exposure is what worked for me so you should try that.

And don't look down on yourself like that. You never know maybe people on the street and gym think that you're buff but you've never talked so you don't know.

Firefist107 · Answer

I worked you for two years straight for this reason as well realized wasn't the problem. I smoked some weed and continued my workout routine of course for awhile but I did end up dropping it but I feel like it wasn't so much the weed more the living situation I had other family members move in and I didn't have privacy to use the equipment and didn't feel comfortable infront of them but I don't know over come it by doing what you fear most. Go up to random girls use cheesy pick up lines learn to deal with reject I promise if that's you in picture you will be drowning in pussy in no time. Be polite don't be agressive remember you are intimidating keep things livly

Anonymous · Answer

Because people don’t go around sharing their thoughts with others. I’m sure most girls would internally find you attractive, and may even say it after a while of knowing you. But it’s hard to get to know people, because of your likely social anxiety.

I’m in the exact same situation, and it’s not going to be easy for you at all. You’ll have to learn to be more extroverted and learn to socialize, or else you’re very likely screwed. I don’t even have the confidence to meet people I talk to online, but if you do, you can try online dating... which is very useful for people like us.

SherlockHolmes2012 · Answer

You need to spread yourself out and meet new people and talk to them. It'll suck at first because you'll say the wrong thing but you'll learn and eventually you'll get better with people. P. s. if you talk to almost any girl I'm sure you'll get the response your looking for.

Onlythisone · Answer

My boyfriend said he used to be really ripped and girls never came up to him, girls flirt with him all the time now and he says they have since he gained weight. He has two reasons:
1. "Being fat says hiv-"
2. "No girl wants to be with someone better looking than her, they don't want to compete for who gets to be the pretty one"

Anonymous · Answer

Well you look great.
I've heard from my female friends that "gym guys" are too vain and care too much of their look, even more than women. So that's a no no for them.
I think just you're shy, you haven't found a woman which who you feel comfortable with. Eventually you'll find one in time.
Everybody has a different time, some people find love at 20, others at 45 and some never. We are all different.
Good luck

Anonymous · Answer

I'm a shy, and introvert as well. But I didn't do things that would possibly make me uncomfortable. I never cared about what other people thought of me, and that kind of brought more people into my life with that idea. Just go with the flow, and don't try too hard. Take your time, and whoever makes it in your life will have an amazing person theirs. Whatever will be, will be. c: good luck

JLoKazami · Answer

Being shy sucks. Like I know that since I’m shy sometimes that’s a reason I’m single too. But confidence in yourself will lead the right people to you.

BooInch · Answer

Well if I saw you in real life I'd definitely think you were cute. I think girls might see you as a "don't talk to me" guy if you're quiet and reserved. Shyness tends to mistranslate into unapproachableness.

lollyangel21 · Answer

Some women mistake shyness for arrogance or cockyness, your a very good looking guy and you probably get a lot of looks but a lot of women see that and go he's hot but..., I know from personal experience that when I've found a guy attractive all he wants is a one night stand or friends with benefits, so we are always cautious about being let down. Or they may feel your out of their league.

Anonymous · Answer

You look hot, I'm 20 and never had a boyfriend. I workout and starve so I can be thin for dance and to be thin enough for a boy! No matter what I do, I'm still single and it depresses me. Guys never give me attention.

LilPump2178 · Answer

I’m really shy to. That’s part of the reason that I’m single. But you need to be confident. When I saw you I was like damn! You are good looking and all your missing is confidence!

loveyou34 · Answer

grab a book about that matter and learn from it. That's how I changed from a shy person to a confident man.
Let me tell you this. A girl will most likely be attracted to a guy by his personalities not by this look.

LionLover27 · Answer

Awww poor you  Well u hace to become friends with a girl or crush so then you can flirt with her and ask her out

Anonymous · Answer

It's because you're shy +look like a douche which = stuck up asshole or that's what you come off as since you as a shy person don't socialize.
I know what it's like except I come off as a stuck up bitch

sabotup · Answer

Ask a girl out for a change or do online dating to take it slow.

bigboy2020 · Answer

Just forve yourself out there see a cute girl go for her charm her dont be to overzelous tho

Anonymous · Answer

Sorry if you ain't funny and have personality then it would be creepy to be around you.

Anonymous · Answer

It’s because your shy. Basically no girl will ever approach a guy so even though you look great it won’t ever benefit you unless you approach.

wafflesforbreakfast · Answer

Because you're a fraud

Why do I get no attention from girls?

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