Should I give Tinder another try?

[splashofyellow]

I've been staying away from dating apps for a good while now but suddenly today I got the urge to try Tinder again. Maybe it's just boredom or a need for a confidence boost but I feel like right now I have no chances of meeting new people anywhere. Tinder would at least give me a 0.00001% chance of meeting someone I like when now that chance is next to nothing.

Is it a complete waste of time or do you think I should at least give it another try?

Yes, do it!

No, don't do it!

Other

[Whisperhead]

Quite honestly, Tinder has a reputation for a very good reason. Dating with smartphones works for some, but not for the majority, in my experience.
You will be greeted with the occasional message from genuine individuals... and 97% of the time will be overwhelmed with messages from men that want to treat you like an unpaid prostitute. I gather from your answers and replies below that you already know this, and just wanted dissuading.
It never worked for me, so I am slightly biased. Take from it what you will.

On a side note, without meaning to sound like a creep, you are an attractive young lady, and obviously intelligent. You'll have no shortage of suitors, arseholes of not, Tinder or not.

[splashofyellow]

It's funny how people keep telling me that I shouldn't have any problems with men, but I do. I don't think I would even be considering Tinder if I didn't.

The thing is, my experience with Tinder has never been what everyone keeps saying over and over again. I haven't met people who just want to hook up. I've actually met nice people but it just never went past the chatting stage. They never asked me out and I never dared to ask them out.

[Whisperhead]

What kinds of problems do you have with guys?
Tinder is renowned for being one of the most enabling systems for guys who just want a shag. Bit like I said, there will be a reasonably small group of genuine people of each gender that are using it as originally intended, so perhaps you've been luckier than most?

I can only speak from my experience and draw conclusions from what others have told me about Tinder, so your experience may differ, but for those reasons I don't even bother with it anymore. I just don't think window-shopping through endless edited pouts is the way to meet someone, but again that's me, not everyone else. Maybe I'm old fashioned.

Engaging with a hobby, interest or group of some kind is a much more involving way to meet new people in my opinion, which is exactly how dating has been done for decades, successfully.

[Whisperhead]

I'm at the age now where I just can't be bothered to scroll through semi-unrealistic, posed selfies for weeks on end hoping to meet someone who also wants to meet me.

To be frank, there are bigger problems in my life now.

[splashofyellow]

I think my biggest problem is that the guys I find attractive don't find me attractive. I don't tend to get a lot of matches on apps like tinder. It's partly because I'm very picky about who I swipe right. However, I've been trying to be more open to people that I don't necessarily find as attractive if their profile is otherwise interesting.

While tinder is obviously used for hookups to some extent, I believe that isn't as big of a problem here in Finland than it is in other places. Both of the Finnish people who've answered this question were encouraging me to try the app. Of course that's only two people but it reassures me that my good luck with the people I've met on tinder isn't just me being extremely lucky.

[splashofyellow]

I'm at a place in my life where I don't have time for hobbies or meeting new people in real life. I agree that that would be the ideal situation, though. I guess I don't have the motivation to do that either because there is always time if you make time. If I'd meet someone worth meeting face to face, I could make time for them but right now I don't have the time or energy to start looking for a new hobby.

[coachTanthony]

As long as you are selfish and don't waste time with the idiots then you should be fine. Too many people allow themselves to get caught up in the nonsense that goes on with dating apps then they stop and say online dating sucks. Learn to ignore, block and delete people. You should be fine.

[lumos]

Yeah, why not! I found my boyfriend on tinder and we've been together for almost 2 years soon. Go for it. Just be careful with who you swipe to the right, and always be open and honest with the guys you're talking to. If you're not feeling it, it's perfectly fine to let the other person know so that they can focus on someone else.

[lumos]

No prkl sähä oot suomalainen :D rohkeesti tindertreffeille vaan!

[splashofyellow]

Haha noni, se et joillekin Tinder toimii on antaa vielä toivoo! Täytyy yrittää jos tällä kertaa pääsis jonkun kanssa ihan treffeille asti. 😁 Toisaalta ne harvat "tindertreffit" mitä mulla on ollu, on menny superhyvin et ei sillee oo jääny mikää paha maku suuhun. 🤔 Ei vaa kovin usein tärppää.

[lumos]

Joo, ja sanoisin viel et Suomessa standardi juurikin on et enemmistö etsii jotain vakavaa tinderin kautta, et lähtökohta on aika jees. Ja ei se mitään jos ei kovin usein tärppää, tinder on sen verran hyvä just koska voit ottaa sitä käyttöön tai pitää pienen tauon milloin tahansa :)

[witherwing]

I don't know if it's just that Tinder is a hookup app everywhere else but in Finland, or if it's changed so much since I've last been there, but I always encourage to try it. It might just do the trick. Or at least you get a bunch of guys saying how pretty you are. 😉

[splashofyellow]

I was waiting for your opinion on this. 😏

[splashofyellow]

I might try it and delete it a week later because I got bored. 😅

[witherwing]

We'll swipe it together next week. 😏

[splashofyellow]

Haha, let's do that. You can help me not swipe everyone left.

[Lavinnykins]

I felt a lot like that after I dated someone I met on Tinder... so I went back on 'for something to do' whilst 'not looking for anything' and within a few weeks, I was talking a cute guy... it's almost 2 years together now and we're planning for the future. Do it!!

[Buckzor]

I wouldn't take tinder seriously, I wouldn't take a vast majority of dating apps seriously. For most people it's a bit of fun, maybe some curiosity, and for others it's just about hookups. Yes, there are people legitimately trying to find love, but it's probably quite slim.
There's probably no harm in trying, unless you're the type to go and meet any and every guy who asks you out that you're interested in (that's how people get bad experiences, ie; the bad apple who comes across as nice then uses you).

[raspberry0416]

I held off on using tinder for a long time because I didn't want to deal with creepy dudes. But I started using it and it's not that bad. Just swipe left on people who are looking for hookups and you'll be fine.

[splashofyellow]

In the past I've gotten pretty far by swiping left on people who don't have a shirt on. 😂 When I was using tinder before, I honestly never matched with a creep. Or at least they never turned out to be a freak, I don't know if deep down they are.

[pavlove]

Since you're a girl, I'd say the opposite of typical advice applies to you. Actually take it somewhat seriously. Consider the possibility that there are great guys on Tinder that girls aren't talking to because they think meeting someone through an app is a joke that could never blossom into something real. Of course, do your homework on the guy, but generally I'd say the ecosystem is a lot of great guys not being taken seriously by great girls and settling for emotionally and/or physically below average girls who often times are only looking for attention and/or a confidence boost.

[Levin]

Why do you have no chance?

I'd use it. I just wouldn't have high expectations, and I'd still try and go out every weekend.

You have to keep the faith somehow. That's the art of life. Otherwise one falls into depression, if one feels something is hopeless :)

[splashofyellow]

I don't really have time or opportunities to meet new people. I don't even know where I'd go to meet new people. Tinder seems like the easy option. Of course easy usually means it's not going to be good.

[splashofyellow]

My expectations aren't very high because I've used tinder before. I know what's waiting for me there.

[Levin]

What does wait for a woman?

Because what waits for a man is stony silence, and disappointment in perpetuity :)

What are you craving exactly?

[splashofyellow]

What's waiting for me is likely just that, silence and disappointment. I've found a few nice people through tinder which still keeps up the hope of there being decent people who actually know how to keep up a conversation. I want to find those kind of people again.

[Levin]

You're a cool chick. You'll find someone. Providing your motivations are sound.

[splashofyellow]

What do you mean by that?

[Levin]

I think I'm a bit tired to psychoanalyse you :P

Guys have different pressures on them.

From a guy's perspective, dating websites can be a copout. A cowardly way out to avoid getting into social situations in real life and challenging yourself.

I'll go on dating websites, but I'll also try new things that evoke a lot of fear. Ultimately one has to have the courage to put oneself out there and face rejection.

However, I'm sure there are different pressures on women.

Also, some people can go on those things because as you identify they feel bad about themselves. They want that validation that they're desirable. They have no real interest in that person, on a deep subconscious level, once they have gotten their validation. Just like people post their pictures on here, asking for rates, knowing how hot they are. The people who rate them are just disposable, to use them for their own ends.

So one must know oneself and one's real intent in any endeavour. :)

[Dim1213]

My advice is to not try it. I tried dating apps and the figure you gave is generous for meeting someone you like. The best one I tried was ok cupid. Even then it was awful. The only thing it will do is give you a slight but empty confidence boost.
Maybe you might meet someone on here? My friend did.
Its probably just an urge let it pass. Try using it to be a bit more social. That is what I did last time. It helped but I did not find any one to date but I have more female friends now.

[splashofyellow]

The problem with meeting someone on G@G is that most people live far far away from me. I'm not interested in a long distance relationship. You're probably right, though. This is a passing urge that'll eventually go away. I know that even if I'll join Tinder again, I'll probably end up deleting it when I remember why I deleted it in the first place.

[Dim1213]

Yup
Though that is a good point. My friend likes ldr so it suites her.

[JFilmore]

Don't do it.

[Anonymous]

Girl, dont do it! You'll never find a decent man there but if you want a playboy or bad boy, go for it!

I've tried using this app twice. I am a good girl, never had a boyfriend, never made out.

I wanted to meet someone special but both times i fell upon the worst, most manipulative men that would just tell me what i wanted to hear to sleep with me. I am glad I learned my lesson and that never happened! I was played worse than a guitar. One of them blocked me from everything when I confronted him. iT was the worst mistake ever. I am sure there might be good men on the site but the chance of meeting them there is rare! So goodluck, i don't want the same thing to happen to you

[1derfulguy]

I have a tendency to spend too much time and energy on dating apps, and it usually feels like empty carbs, if you know what I mean. So what I do these days is try to not take it too seriously. Just see it as entertainment.

Because the fact of the matter is that dating apps - just like G@G - are designed to make you spend as much time on them as possible, not to help you find the ONE. Because then they would lose you as a customer. So just be mindful of that.

[BOUNTYGUY9]

try it if you are looking for sex with just any freak and full of dirty germs like a dirty rat l never thought that you looked like the kind of girl that would be willing to go with any kind of freak as that is all you will find on tinder but as you have been on tinder before picking up guys for sex go ahead and do it again you must have no respect for your body and soul so sad you are l would never want a girl like you that puts her self about to get all the freak guys

[splashofyellow]

You might want to try using a comma or a period every once in a while. Thanks for judging me, though.

[Whisperhead]

Have to agree with Splash here, Bounty. That was a pretty appalling collection of words, get some grammar in there champ!
That said, Tinder is glorified window-shopping Splash.

[BOUNTYGUY9]

well lthought that you were at least a nice girl but it seems you are not l am aware that you are not happy with my words regards you but it seems to be all true all the guys in finland will know you by now as finland is not a big place you can always join tinder and see what other freaks wants you l dont judge you it was you talking about tinder l would rather go with out sex rather than go on tinder l at least have respect for myself so very sad

[BOUNTYGUY9]

@Whisperhead dont think so l retract nothing what l said as it is all very true tindre full of germs

[sawno]

Personally i'd opt for trying something different such as Once, its an app that looks interesting for when i am going to date as that one matches manually every day so you get higher quality matches based on you.

[splashofyellow]

Thanks for the tip! I guess it would work better if people were actually using that app here. When there's only 5.5 million people in the whole country you have to use the apps that other people are using.

[sawno]

I have no idea if they are using it here either, but hey trying more options is never bad in love is it? ^^

[sawno]

trying more options to find love*

[lordhossein]

i think its not a good option because as you mentioned you don't have much time and it takes time on those kind of app. but at the same time trying it once more won't bring you any harm, so maybe just try it. at the end you have found who you love or you are like now , no loss.

[Wolframium]

Yes, it's boredom. And false idea about how it'll turn out. Don't, it's pointless.
And I don't say that because I don't like dating sites, it's more about it not being what you probably want it to be.
But you're a girl, that is huge advantage.

[J4Zzi3]

hard to find date when you work all the time.
the circle you have is just work friends, college and high school friends.
it's ok to broaden you horizon a bit.
just be careful ok. lots of liars out there.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Dating apps never work out for me. Just bunch scammers on them sites.
Weed out the good things from the bad on them dating apps and take things from there.

[Lucifer_666]

Although I met my girlfriend on a dating app, I still don't recommend using them. A lot of people who use them use them for hookups. So if you're not into that then don't use it

[JayYushie]

Staying open to opportunities is always helpful.
Set up a profile, and use 1hour+ searching for people.
While waiting for replies, educate yourself on how to make friends (and potential lovers) in real life situations.

[lala_ray]

I don't know... but from an guy's perspective most use it for one night stands... may be use something like okcupid of POF... if you are into long term thing else tinder rocks.

[Syrian_survivor]

True! 👍 Tinder's just for something casual and not really serious

[quirf]

You meet all of us here... For dating I always recommend activities that you enjoy. There's an old Polish Proverb " A wise person does not warm themselves to the picture of a fire"

[SkittleMayn]

Yeah, I don't see why not.

~ Funny gifs by the way

[NYCQuestions1976]

Sure have at it. If it doesn't work, I'll take you out! 😉😂

(I'm kidding, obviously... we're in different hemispheres...)

[MLGbreezy]

I don't know I've been on there a while and haven't gotten any worth while matches but you never know

[Langseax]

Perhaps things are different where you are, but in most places in the UK, US, etc, Tinder is just for hookups.

[splashofyellow]

I've not experienced that here. I didn't really experience that in the UK either but maybe that's just because I'm very picky about who I swipe right.

[hellacray]

Yup do it. Your thumbs and fingers will get a nice workout from all the swiping.

[wilco999]

Lol love your Gif's. Go for it, whats the worst that can happen

[BigBadBear]

Yes but only if you aren't desperate to be in a relationship.

[splashofyellow]

I guess I'm leaning towards desperation at this point.

[BigBadBear]

I don't think you should then. The reason being, I think desperation would lead to you being codependent in whatever relationship you get into. I think we should all learn how to be content single, and then when we are content we should look for people. But I could be entirely wrong.

[splashofyellow]

You make a fair point. I've never seen myself as a person who would get into a relationship just for the sake of a relationship, though. At least that's my excuse for having been single my whole life. However, I guess I'm getting impatient. Tinder gives me the illusion of putting myself out there.

[BigBadBear]

Yeah I understand what you mean. I think it's only natural for humans to want to be in relationships. Most of us want to reproduce and to find a good person who can be a companion to us. But those things aren't necessary for contentment in my opinion. I think that societal norms and media have pushed on us that love is almost the sole point and goal of life, and I don't think it has to be.

[Anonymous]

What you are proposing is the definition of insanity...

[oldoldold]

Yes that good feeling you get when a stranger faces you away from him as he uses you for a tissue...

[BronzedAdonis]

go back to old-school dating

don't waste your time or anyone elses

[james_mark]

Lmao that GIF 😂 😂 😂
Just do it and see the outcome.. nothing to lose

[pridetrooperdan]

I have tinder. i should totally ask u out when i match with u on tinder LOL😄

[Katesgins]

I found the love of my life on OkCupid!

[splashofyellow]

I hear these success stories all the time and I guess that's what makes me wonder about the apps time and time again. I guess deep down I still hope they would work for me, too.

[Anonymous]

What is your purpose of tinder? 1 night? or relationship? if its relationship i do not suggest tinder. few guys on there are relatioship seeking

[azzntittiz]

No, you're wasting your time.

[LaughingStick]

Maybe you should try a bookstore.

[cupidkisses]

Don't waste your time there

[vjedi]

Sure! If you're in my area match me!

[Rosewanda]

I think you should go for it.

[mjnthn]

Pretty as you are, you probably dont need Tinder ☺

[splashofyellow]

Thank you but I'm one of those people who have never been in a relationship and I'm getting impatient.

[mjnthn]

Im not sure that Tinder is the best place to find a strong relationship partner lol
Do you have some confidence issues? ☺

[splashofyellow]

Most likely.

[mjnthn]

I know how you feel. But you look cute af, you seem to be a nice person so you should gain some self esteem ☺

[mjnthn]

But if you're comfortable with Tinder you totally can give it another chance :)

[splashofyellow]

I've never gotten the vibe that people would only be looking for hook ups but maybe that's just me being naive.

[mjnthn]

I've never been on Tinder honestly but i heard that most of the guys on it are looking for hookups

[Uhhjsshshdh]

Boycott the system.

[RyanSane]

I would swipe rig

[splashofyellow]

Haha thanks but that doesn't really help me.

[young718]

Yeah why not

[tommy323]

Haha that meme😍