Girls, do you date men you think are physically unattractive?

[ADFSDF1996]

I have this female friend who confessed that she thinks her boyfriend is ugly and is only with him because he’s nice. She said: “He’s ugly but he’s a very nice person.” Don’t you think it’s cruel to be playing with a guy’s feelings like that. The guy might think that you actually find him attractive but in reality it’s the opposite. Sooner or later that guy will probably find out and break up with you. If you date “ugly” men, what’s the purpose? I understand that people say that “women are less visual when it comes to physical attraction” but still.

Note: I’m not saying every woman dates guys they don’t find attractive.

Yes

No

Updates

+1 y

I see there is some confusion, the woman in the picture isn’t my friend, that’s just a random picture I got off the internet, that I thought would suit this question.

Updates

+1 y

Based on the poll, many women don’t think men are attractive based on looks, so they they date men for personality.

[azzntittiz]

I have only because a lot of the men here are ugly, well the gene pool isn't very good, it's even hard to find a really pretty girl, Also ugly men are very pushy and over confident, they are kinda like stalkers and will try to place women in positions of submission so he can have access to you.

Which is why people do not want attractive women to be successful because she may have a chance to choose not to be with you. Men know these thing and they do not care. Of course they turn around and be mad when they get cheated on or used.

[jessuper]

Well, you can still date someone you don’t think is good looking. You need to realize that personality comes into play. Her boyfriend wouldn’t be mad she thinks he’s ugly, because she’s dating him despite the fact.

[ADFSDF1996]

It’s not right though, she’s stealing him from someone who could find him attractive. I don’t believe that personality can make up for a lack of physical attraction.

[jessuper]

Stealing him from someone who thinks he is attractive? That’s not how it works. You can be attracted to someone who you don’t find attractive. If she has feelings for him, then she can do whatever you want.
It’s shallow to assume otherwise

[ADFSDF1996]

That’s not what attraction is, attraction is feeling attracted to both a person’s looks and personality. I know that I would instantly break up with a woman who only likes my personality. You can’t have one and not the other.

[jessuper]

That is your opinion

[ADFSDF1996]

For females it’s different because biologically men are more visual than women when it comes to attraction. We (men) value physical appearance much more.

[Meaganrachell]

Maybe attraction and personality go hand in hand for many women? Not sure exactly how to word what I mean...

[ADFSDF1996]

@Meaganrachell Men equally care about looks and personality that’s why guys tend to be attractive to pretty women. Women don’t really seem to care about looks because they are not as visual as men are when it comes to attraction. This is possibly because men are not as physically appealing as women are.

[effyourfeelings]

img.buzzfeed.com/.../...buzz-7110-1386114153-4.gif All the girls who voted yes were just trying to spare the feelings of the ugliest guys on GAG or just dudes posing as girls

[vishna]

I think people who are conventionally unattractive are very frank about it and would say they are unattractive/ugly. (I recently watched a video on this) Anywho, I have dated guys that, with love, I found cute/endearing, but I didn't find them attractive. And that's ok because my intent was pure, and my heart was completely in those relationships... I don't think there's anything wrong with choosing a partner based on personality over looks.

[lostgirl_searching]

To me the guys I dated. It was mainly for their personality and to me at thought they were cute. My friends thought different they said I had no taste and I dated ugly guys and was just blind because I got lucky to find guys that I wanted in personality wise.. Everyone has their own opinion, but since your friend admitted it, it might not be that bad if she's loyal to him still and faithful, but if she's flirting with guys who are attractive or planning on cheating, then it's bad.

[miiszmel]

No wayyy!!
I have to find the guy attractive to date him.
Usually girls that date guys who they find unattractive are gold diggers lol

[Glass_Cat]

If I’m dating someone i think they have to at least be attractive to
Me in some way lol. I wouldn’t date someone just for their niceness i have to like a lot about them.

[Twat_Twig]

Well I'm always drawn to physical looks first. I see an attractive guy and I'm looking. My boyfriend is physically attractive to me and he's definitely been there for me emotionally and spiritually so he isn't lacking there. I'm not with him just because he's good looking. I wouldn't date someone JUST for their looks. Someone can be hot and a total jackass

[pineappleshortcare]

There’s a lot of pressure to “give him a chance” like your own attraction doesn’t even matter. So I think most women have at least tried. Owning your sexual desire can be a tough balancing act, as society generally wants it to be something other than what it is.

[mrs-turner97]

It is pretty sorry to do that cause if you date that person and think that eventually you will find a nice person that’s more attractive and leave him or her and that’s BS

[mrs-turner97]

I personally thought she was a gold digger not many if any woman that nice looking dates a man like that unless there in it for something. She kinda looks like a B to me doesn’t look happy at all but I’m sure he is to be able to say that is his lady but sad that he is prob gonna get heart broke

[Arkansas33]

Not in all cases but if he's good looking and kinda chubby or fat its okay. I dont mind guys who are kinda stocky. I dont mind it if they are good looking stocky and play football because they are attractive. But if they were ugly and fat then no i wouldn't date them

[Hgabrielle]

If I don’t find him attractive, I won’t date him.
Someone does, and it would just be heartless of me to keep him from someone that would be able to love him more than I can

[AquaBoo]

I meant to vote no. But that girl sounds a little misguided..

[elly91]

Not at all... Physical attraction is a must for me... If I don't find the person attractive I won't date him... 😊

[Tr1pQu33n21]

I mean, fuck. I want my man to look good. I want him to be attractive. We are all shallow humans and yeah, I'm a shallow bitch haha. There is lots of liberation in honesty.

[cosmicc]

You can be ugly and yet ve attractive. I know people who are ugly but will have something attractive about them. Perhaps him being nice makes him attractive to her.

[ADFSDF1996]

Attractiveness has to do with facial aesthetics, not so much personality. Liking someone for personality is respect, not so much attraction.

[Leimarie]

Not all attractive men treat women well. It’s easy to see past their physical looks if the person is nice, treats you with respect and you can just get along well with them.

[ADFSDF1996]

Don’t you think that would be playing with his feelings considering that he would be more of a asset than a lover? Think about it, he is probably thinking you actually find him attractive but in reality you are only with him because of his personality while thinking he is ugly.

[Leimarie]

How? Attraction is and always has been subjective in nature. It is more than ok to find someone’s personality, intelligence, or sense of humor more attractive than their physical features. Also, the more you love someone for who they are, the more attractive they become to you overall.
Is this an issue that you have personally experienced?

[ADFSDF1996]

I’ve had to reject several woman who’ve I’ve suspected only liked me for my personality. I want a woman to be primarily attracted to my looks.

[Leimarie]

I imagine it must not feel too great knowing someone doesn’t find you physically attractive so I can understand your perspective, but how unfortunate would it be that you ended something prematurely with a great girl just trying to preserve your ego?

[Leimarie]

Also, in what way did you feel that you were being used as an “asset” by these women? Did they want to be with you only for the sex, money, gifts, rent, etc?

[ADFSDF1996]

They said I’m a nice person. Now keep in mind that I get called handsome a lot by many women but I don’t think they are being sincere.

[ADFSDF1996]

I just want to know for certain that they also like me for my looks aside from my personality.

[Leimarie]

I’m quite the opposite I guess. I’d rather know that they found other things about me to be attractive since everyone’s looks will fade as we age.
Sounds like you are insecure about your appearance if you must find someone who can sufficiently reassure you that you are handsome to them. I would look into maybe talking to a professional about that since it is obviously affecting your relationships with women.

[ADFSDF1996]

I don’t need professionals, they usually aren’t any good. I just don’t want to be deceived. What’s the point of dating a woman that doesn’t even find me attractive? I know that I’m handsome but I also know that looks are subjective.

[Leimarie]

Well, if it helps any, you don’t exactly come across as a typical ‘nice guy’ since you easily dismissed the women who have complimented your looks in the past and even went so far as to question their veracity. Thus, you must have some other attractive attributes, so good for you. 👍

I don’t know if you will ever find a woman who finds you physically attractive enough for you to believe her if you have never trusted a woman who has called you handsome in the past, but I do wish you well on your search. Peace.

[ADFSDF1996]

I’m a nice person, I was polite when I rejected them, I didn’t tell them why I was rejecting them.

[MsMusic]

my ex wasn't very attractive, but I thought he was a good person and that's all I cared about.

Then I found out he actually has a shitty personality and never cared about me.

[DeeDeeDeVour]

No but I have met unattractive guys who have very nice personalities. I have also encountered unattractive guys who have very horrible attitudes.

[acooke-13]

My ex wasn't attractive, I mean he wasn't terrible but yeah, anyway he had a great personality (at the start) so I was with him for a while - the looks never really bothered mr

[GD247]

If you have a nice personality, for some that’s all they want. Sure you’re not physically atttractive but you have someone who supports you emotionally.

[Aribella]

"I am not this hair this skin I am the soul that lives within" -Rumi

I typically fall in love with their personality to me looks aren't that important

[ADFSDF1996]

So you’ll still date a ugly guy?

[Aribella]

Yes I would

[ADFSDF1996]

Do actually find men to be visually appealing or do you only care about their personalities.

[Aribella]

Yes I am physically attracted to men

[ADFSDF1996]

Then why date men you find unattractive? Dating ugly men implies you don’t actually find men to be good looking.

[Aribella]

I don't know

[ADFSDF1996]

One last question. By your definition, what makes a man physically attractive?

[Aribella]

Um um um I don't really know

[Ginfiend]

You can find people attractive yourself without them being considered attractive in broader society.

[baby_girl_1999]

Nope , by the way you used a picture of Briatore a rich italian business owner so that works probably because he is rich

[JulieXO]

He doesn't have to be the hottest man I've ever seen, but he has to be attractive to me.

[CubsterShura]

Never really been with an unattractive guy, but my ex wasn't attractive but I was crazy for him.

[ADFSDF1996]

So his looks did nothing for you?

[CubsterShura]

Nope. One more ex of mine was really sexy and that did nothing either, in fact I dumped him.

[makay000]

Whether I'm with a man or a women I need to be physically attracted to them

[2412rachel]

Probably not at first. Physical attraction is important after all but maybe if we get to know each other better i wouldn't reject him because of his looks WHAT MOST WOMEN WOULD SAY BUT WHO RESPECTS THAT NOWADAYS

[ADFSDF1996]

So you would still date a ugly guy?

[2412rachel]

Probably. But i don't really judge people on their looks

[2412rachel]

Can't date a guy just cause he looks good even tho it sounds nice

[ADFSDF1996]

Don’t you think that’s playing with his feelings? He’ll assume that you think he’s hot but in reality you only like his personality.

[Meaganrachell]

Attractiveness is very subjective. Someone who is very attractive to me might be ugly to you. Vice versa. So yeah I would date a "ugly guy" if he had a great personality and was kind/ funny. Cause that's what I find hot.

[ADFSDF1996]

@Meaganrachell Are you able to find men visually attractive?

[Meaganrachell]

Haha oooh yes.

[ADFSDF1996]

Then why are you willing to date a physically unattractive man?

[Meaganrachell]

Why are any 'physically unattractive" men in a relationship? Its because someone finds something about them attractive. Period. I would be willing to date a man who is by culture's standard's physically unattractive if I found him attractive. And again, what I find attractive in someone might completely vary from someone else...

[ADFSDF1996]

@Meaganrachell I referring to guys you don’t find physically attractive, why date them if you don’t find them physically attractive?

[Meaganrachell]

Okay I think I understand what you mean now. No I wouldn't date someone I didn't find attractive. But I maybe I would find someone attractive who to anyone else could be labeled as ugly. Get what I mean?

[ADFSDF1996]

@Meaganrachell That makes more sense but I’m referring primarily to looks, not personality.

[2412rachel]

Oh that makes more sense. I probably wouldn't date someone i don't find attractive either

[CINDY16]

If I dated someone ugly, when I feel comfortable i would say that they are ugly but that i still loved them

[ADFSDF1996]

At least you’d be honest about it.

[CINDY16]

Yeah ofcourse

[Malita55]

Some girls would just to get stuff for free. I wouldn’t stoop that low though

[Vix8991]

It really depends, if he’s unconventionally attractive or has some cute quirks ofc but tbh my level of attraction varies, if a guy is intriguing to me then Ok, sometimes I find conventionally people untrustworthy.

[Vix8991]

If by what you mean conventionally unattractive by other people standards but not mine then yes but by mine then no

[Snowomann]

For me, it is impossible to be nice and ugly at the same time. I always find nice+kindhearted people attractive