Does it matter if a guy brings his child along on the first date? Is that a bad idea and should we change days or doesn’t it matter?

I don’t really know this guy, we just randomly met and talked a little, but there is instant attraction and we’re both super psyched about the date. Because of my schedule from finals, I can only see him one day next week, and he work every day but the day I have off so does he. He has a 2 year old boy. And he has him on that day so he’d bring him along. Is this a bad idea for a first date? Or shouldn’t it matter? My friend said what if his kid doesn’t like me, and it may be a bad idea. Thoughts?


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  • I think he wouldn't bring his kid if your schedules were different. Sounds like he thinks he's met someone fantastic and doesn't want to lose his chance with you. And the kid is 2 years old. They are not gonna have an issue with it. In a perfect world he could wait. But it sounds like that connection is strong. What's the worst that can happen.

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    • Thank you! Exactly. And he told his cousin who is seeing my friend that I’m the first female his child will have been around since the Mom, so it’s not like he does it often.

    • There you go. I went through something similar only it was the second date. Lol! And I don't regret it because we just celebrated 3 years together. Our connection is like nothing I ever felt even with my son's father I spent 15 years with. When you have a connection like that you don't want to let it get away. I hope your connection grows and one day you'll be laughing about bring a 2 yr old on your first date. Goodluck.😊

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  • If he has a child - then you should only get involved with him if you are willing to play step mom to the child as well. He may not want your full interference in the child's life but he might want you to offer support to the child that resembles that of his biological mother. Its tough but the guy is a package deal.

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  • I can see it being overwhelming to meet his child on the first date, because that sounds commital already. But if it’s his only day to see his kid, maybe give it a chance?

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    • I want to. After reading all these I’ve come to see how close minded people are. Life is short, honestly why not. Maybe it’s a little weird but why does it matter? All I need is a positive attitude and it’ll go fine.

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    • Oh that’s great! I hope it doesn’t either. Best of luck ^.^

    • Thank you 😊 🙏🏻

  • Super bad idea. It's very irresponsible of him to bring his child around women who may not stick around.

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    • I honestly don’t get this mindset. His child is 2. He has no idea I am a potential romantic interest. He just views me as any adult. And he is around adults normally, I don’t get how he is being irresponsible.

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    • Come again?

    • The fact of the matter is children are impressionable, and regardless of what ever you say it is, if it's "romantic" or not, if you introduce a child to a person, especially at a young age and they get taken away i. e. a break up, it has lasting effects. That's why generally speaking, responsible parents wait months to introduce their partner to their children.

  • If he really can't find anyone to watch his kid then i think thats ok but, maybe it would be easier to start out as friends, get to know eachother and decide if you want to actually date? Whichever is easier. If his kid doesn't like you I guess its better to find out early lol. But the kid is 2 as long as you're nice and sweet he'll probably like you.

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  • He shouldn't introduce love interests to his kids until it's serious. As a single father with 2 kids, I can tell you that no woman I date is meeting my kids until I'm certain it's going to be a long term relationship. It's not healthy for the kids in my opinion.

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    • Well he isn’t going to tell the child I’m a Romantic interest. He goes out with friends and sees others all the time. I don’t see the big deal. We’re just going out to eat.

    • To each their own. As long as you don't have an issue with it, than by all means, do it.

  • I don't find it appropriate. Just for the fact that is he bringing his child to meet random women all the time? If your time does not allow you to go without your child, then you should reschedule. If you both already knew each other for some time then the circumstances would be different.

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  • It's probably not going to be much of a problem. I mean seriously, I don't think a two year old baby is going to have much of an opinion about anything. What's more important than that is how you feel about a this; if you're fine with it and he's fine with it, just go.

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  • Shouldn't matter. One of the biggest problems single moms have is the whole, "love me, love my children" thing. If the two of you hit it off, eventually it would need to be the three of you. Might as well get it over with. I love children and would absolutely love being a father figure to some lady's child/children. I also understand the sacrifice it takes for a single mother to find a babysitter just to go on a date.

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  • This is an unusual one, but probably his child's perception of you is the deciding factor for whether a 2nd date is going to happen. And/or he doesn't want to risk getting too close without sharing his full package. Some people might be like wishing they knew who they were getting involved with and not get surprised later with "oh by the way, I'd like to to meet my kid"

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  • If you are fine with it there's really no problem.
    Typically I wouldn't do it since a first date is supposed to be about only the two of you.
    A two year old kid may, if your lucky, sleep throughout your entire date, but otherwise a lot if attention will go to the kid and most likely dominate the subject of your conversation.
    If you want a date with just the two if you why not set a date in the evening instead of your days off?

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  • I would say it’s a bad idea. You have to think of how it would affect the child. If he/she saw you and loved you, then it didn’t work out and you never got to see them again, they would be heartbroken. Take it from a girl whose stepmother, once she divorced her father, never talked to her stepkids again. It’s pretty shitty.

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    • But the kid is 2? I don’t see how he could form that strong of a bond in just a little time.

    • I live with a two year old... they’re highly intelligent. They can still know you? Why would you want a child on your date anyway?

  • He should get a baby sitter, I wouldn't bring kids into the equation just yet. Cause first dates are about getting to know each other and the kid is most likely not going to sit still during the night. Second date yeah, sure, if you guys feel you are gonna have more after that. That date you can do something the kid would like too.

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  • Depends on the nature of the date, if it's a fun thing then it's a chance to integrate yourself into the family. Of course if it's a romantic or restaurant date then it obviously would be inappropriate.

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  • If you don’t mind then ain’t nothing wrong with it you might have fun playing with the little kid

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    • I was thinking that too! 😊

  • Of he takes care of his kid and is a good dad then this is the best possible chance you have to know if it could be a relationship or fling. He should always put his kid first. If the kid likes you your in. If the kid doesn't then don't need to waste your time unless you just want sex

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  • Bad idea he needs time with you first and then once he's sure he should bring the kid in. It's an extra level of vetting you have to go through with people that have kids. It's like meeting their parents, and I'm sure you wouldn't want to meet them on a first date.

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  • Eventually kid has to meet you.. sooner is good so that if it not work for u at least u not have much pain.. did he ask ur permission to bring him with u? If u like that man he will get impress if u handle this in a good way.. just be positive..

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  • How old are you? And how old is this guy. I take it based on the age you present on site you are young? I highly recommend you NOT go on the date. That’s gonna mess the kid up meeting his dates ASAP.

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    • The kid is 2. He has no idea who I am or why I am even there. I am23. He is 34.

    • Okay that’s good I was afraid you were 18. Yeah that’s not good he should have a brain for a father it’s not healthy for the child and I don’t care how old the child is. When a child sis. Toddler they develop an awareness to an extent in terms of who they are meeting and the child can become attached if the child likes you. I recommend you suggest he get a baby sitter or call it off if he doesn’t. If he was a mature father he’d get a baby sitter.

  • Odds are if he is single and has a kid, that kid is an important part of his life, and he probably wants to see how you'll interact with the child.

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  • It depends it could go both ways. If the child likes you and the guy likes you then it won't be a problem. But it depends on what you are doing I would suggest to do something with that child like going to a park or something

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  • Maybe he bought the kid because no one was there to look after him.

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  • That's a bit bold to bring a child to a first date. I don't think it's a good idea to bring a child to a first date, for multiple reasons. You might give the kid the wrong idea of what they are doing there. They may not be happy to be there once they find out the reason. Meeting the child is a much later meeting, if you ask me.

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    • He's 2 bro he can't understand sht 😂

    • @Syrian_survivor Okay, I didn't read that the kid is 2. But just because he's 2, that doesn't mean it's still a good idea to bring a child to a first date. What if this date of his was psycho and had someone else take a picture of his kid in a plan to kidnap his child? You need to get to know someone yourself first before introducing them to people in your life, ESPECIALLY your children. I'm not saying the @Asker is a psycho. I'm just suggesting what if she was (hypothetically). Some people are crazy in this world. You can't trust people unless you really get to know them.

    • Well yeah you're right but this is a date, the guy's showing the girl all he's honestly got and he's like "take it or leave it"
      He wants a woman who will accept him for who he is and his child too

  • Give it a chance, it might be totally fine but I dunno, I would think it’s a little inappropriate for a first date

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  • It's really up to you. If you don't mind then go ahead with it. And kids will like you over time, don't feel bad if he doesn't like you at first.

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  • You are seeing what he is bringing to the table. It is something that you need to realize is this life is what you want and step up be a step mom. Or you just making harder to make a deal breaker.

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  • I really don't think he should be taking his child on dates... most people are thinking about how long to wait before letting you meet their child, not bringing it along with.

    Nope, bad idea.

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  • I think that a guy or girl shouldn't bring their child on the first date. If you are a girl get to know the guy and if you're a guy get to know the girl first and if you see it going somewhere hang out a couple more times and then introduce your child or children

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  • I'd prefer to get to know him first. Then meet his child. Do what you feel is best

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  • To say if it matters or not, I think it matters. To bring his child on the first date must be something along the lines "I have a child. This is my child. Will you still keep dating me even though I already have a child?" I think it is one of the factors that makes dating a person (man/woman) with a child difficult. A lot of us are still in the hopes of finding a single, virgin, fresh other half. But there are also people who wants to try dating for the second time. I see it as a question to ones self of how openminded we are and can we accept a person wholeheartedly, all that he is and what comes with accepting him.

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    • Wow that was pretty smart minjieyoo I never see it like that

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    • I'm afraid I've never watched that show. My fave song as of today is probably Super Far by LANY.

    • Nice super far is awesome hope ur have a good day

  • It could be confusing for the child, reason enough to decline.

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  • I would try to reschedule and find a day when just the two of you can be together

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  • Doesn't sound like a good idea for a first date. The kid could be having a bad day and distract you from learning about each other.

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  • It is just a date, doesn't matter, let his inner father figure shine, at least you can learn how to deal with a child too

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  • for if it does matter. the guy is being honest and he would want you to know that he has a child before even you could think of anything else.

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  • Yes that's not good and if it was you or a mum introducing your/their child to everyone you meet isn't good for the child. Best to tell him to leave him with the mum or his mum or someone. Once it's serious if it gets tgat far then yes but slowly

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  • I agree with your friend. Not for a first date. You two should get to know each other in a dating situation before he introduces the kid. Know who you are with him as a date before you expand it broader to include his kid. Also I would think it would be harder to be romantic with the kid around. What if you want him to kiss you but the kid is crying or something. I’d change the day and politely tell him that it would be best to have the first date just you two and then at another time he can bring the kid. If he really likes you he will understand. It will lead to a better start for the relationship.

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  • Get a babysitter, having a little child along will change the whole mood of the date and his focus will be split. You should get to know him first and then his kids.

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    • Oh yeah you want him to forget his kid for the few moments he can share with him just so that you can have his full attention.
      Talk about a narcissist eh.

    • I don’t think that’s what she’s saying at all. It changes the dynamics and I agree with her, which is why I asked. I think it’s better to see if we hit it off first and then meet his kid. It’s not about hogging attention.

    • Yes! The former is what I meant. It’s harder for a parent to listen to a conversation when they are constantly having to keep an eye on their baby.

  • If you want to date him.. Kid will be part of your life anyway. Pretty good idea to bring that kid with him.

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  • Dates and kids are incompatible. The other person must be able to dedicate some time to you only. Better reschedule.

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  • It's alright.. A bit weird for a first date but.. I guess doesn't matter.

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  • Babies have awareness like we don't have and if you don't like the baby then the babies father might not want to go out with you. I think u should be OK with it because in a way he may be testing you.

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  • On first date it's date, he should do it later. Poor kid, I imagine if his father is dating hundred of women in a months or so

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  • Yeah that's not proper.
    Change to a day.
    If you can't find the time to find a babysitter for the child then he's clueless how to date.
    Red flag.

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  • My old neighbor said not to ask about 'her kids' too much, because she's probably quite protective.
    My old man married the woman who worked at the gas station before kindergarten started, so we already kinda knew each other - not the same situation.
    Different people have different ways of looking at it. If views conflict, that's too bad.
    One thing I've learned: it's important to keep an open mind.
    One person might say it's not a good idea on the other hand, you're going to have to meet the kid at some point.

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  • Not on the first, thats crazzy but pretty sure he had his reasonss😝😝😊

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  • It does matter because she is showing you sincerity and open minded person

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  • Ummm yea what the fuck is he looking for a new wife and step mom , I feel bad for the kid to be honest

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  • It's a bad idea for a first date. But what would you want him to do? Put his kid away for the few moments he's with him just to see you?

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    • No we would reschedule for when the kid is with his baby Mom

  • No stay with the day, it means that he is serious about you two. No parent would bring their child unless it was serious for them

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  • Yes. I am a single dad and do not introduce my daughter to women I date until we have developed a strong relationship.

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