Does it matter if a guy brings his child along on the first date? Is that a bad idea and should we change days or doesn’t it matter?

Question

I don’t really know this guy, we just randomly met and talked a little, but there is instant attraction and we’re both super psyched about the date. Because of my schedule from finals, I can only see him one day next week, and he work every day but the day I have off so does he. He has a 2 year old boy. And he has him on that day so he’d bring him along. Is this a bad idea for a first date? Or shouldn’t it matter? My friend said what if his kid doesn’t like me, and it may be a bad idea. Thoughts?

MinjieYoo · Accepted Answer

To say if it matters or not, I think it matters. To bring his child on the first date must be something along the lines "I have a child. This is my child. Will you still keep dating me even though I already have a child?" I think it is one of the factors that makes dating a person (man/woman) with a child difficult. A lot of us are still in the hopes of finding a single, virgin, fresh other half. But there are also people who wants to try dating for the second time. I see it as a question to ones self of how openminded we are and can we accept a person wholeheartedly, all that he is and what comes with accepting him.

PinkMichae · Accepted Answer

I think he wouldn't bring his kid if your schedules were different. Sounds like he thinks he's met someone fantastic and doesn't want to lose his chance with you. And the kid is 2 years old. They are not gonna have an issue with it. In a perfect world he could wait. But it sounds like that connection is strong. What's the worst that can happen.

Bribree18 · Accepted Answer

I would say it’s a bad idea. You have to think of how it would affect the child. If he/she saw you and loved you, then it didn’t work out and you never got to see them again, they would be heartbroken. Take it from a girl whose stepmother, once she divorced her father, never talked to her stepkids again. It’s pretty shitty.

brendon76 · Accepted Answer

I agree with your friend. Not for a first date. You two should get to know each other in a dating situation before he introduces the kid. Know who you are with him as a date before you expand it broader to include his kid. Also I would think it would be harder to be romantic with the kid around. What if you want him to kiss you but the kid is crying or something. I’d change the day and politely tell him that it would be best to have the first date just you two and then at another time he can bring the kid. If he really likes you he will understand. It will lead to a better start for the relationship.

Errantsquire · Accepted Answer

Bad idea he needs time with you first and then once he's sure he should bring the kid in. It's an extra level of vetting you have to go through with people that have kids. It's like meeting their parents, and I'm sure you wouldn't want to meet them on a first date.

jennifer_bloom · Answer

If he has a child - then you should only get involved with him if you are willing to play step mom to the child as well. He may not want your full interference in the child's life but he might want you to offer support to the child that resembles that of his biological mother. Its tough but the guy is a package deal.

AwesomeCookie · Answer

I don't find it appropriate. Just for the fact that is he bringing his child to meet random women all the time? If your time does not allow you to go without your child, then you should reschedule. If you both already knew each other for some time then the circumstances would be different.

Aki6000 · Answer

It's probably not going to be much of a problem. I mean seriously, I don't think a two year old baby is going to have much of an opinion about anything. What's more important than that is how you feel about a this; if you're fine with it and he's fine with it, just go.

Andre__ · Answer

If you are fine with it there's really no problem.
Typically I wouldn't do it since a first date is supposed to be about only the two of you.
A two year old kid may, if your lucky, sleep throughout your entire date, but otherwise a lot if attention will go to the kid and most likely dominate the subject of your conversation.
If you want a date with just the two if you why not set a date in the evening instead of your days off?

o2joe · Answer

My old neighbor said not to ask about 'her kids' too much, because she's probably quite protective.
My old man married the woman who worked at the gas station before kindergarten started, so we already kinda knew each other - not the same situation.
Different people have different ways of looking at it. If views conflict, that's too bad.
One thing I've learned: it's important to keep an open mind.
One person might say it's not a good idea on the other hand, you're going to have to meet the kid at some point.

exhausted · Answer

If he really can't find anyone to watch his kid then i think thats ok but, maybe it would be easier to start out as friends, get to know eachother and decide if you want to actually date? Whichever is easier. If his kid doesn't like you I guess its better to find out early lol. But the kid is 2 as long as you're nice and sweet he'll probably like you.

Bryce010 · Answer

This is an unusual one, but probably his child's perception of you is the deciding factor for whether a 2nd date is going to happen. And/or he doesn't want to risk getting too close without sharing his full package. Some people might be like wishing they knew who they were getting involved with and not get surprised later with "oh by the way, I'd like to to meet my kid"

AnonBlond22 · Answer

I can see it being overwhelming to meet his child on the first date, because that sounds commital already. But if it’s his only day to see his kid, maybe give it a chance?

Defboy69 · Answer

Shouldn't matter. One of the biggest problems single moms have is the whole, "love me, love my children" thing. If the two of you hit it off, eventually it would need to be the three of you. Might as well get it over with. I love children and would absolutely love being a father figure to some lady's child/children. I also understand the sacrifice it takes for a single mother to find a babysitter just to go on a date.

curiousscorpio89 · Answer

He shouldn't introduce love interests to his kids until it's serious. As a single father with 2 kids, I can tell you that no woman I date is meeting my kids until I'm certain it's going to be a long term relationship. It's not healthy for the kids in my opinion.

ConnorH · Answer

Depends on the nature of the date, if it's a fun thing then it's a chance to integrate yourself into the family. Of course if it's a romantic or restaurant date then it obviously would be inappropriate.

daydreammarie · Answer

He should get a baby sitter, I wouldn't bring kids into the equation just yet. Cause first dates are about getting to know each other and the kid is most likely not going to sit still during the night. Second date yeah, sure, if you guys feel you are gonna have more after that. That date you can do something the kid would like too.

Aevatar · Answer

Of he takes care of his kid and is a good dad then this is the best possible chance you have to know if it could be a relationship or fling. He should always put his kid first. If the kid likes you your in. If the kid doesn't then don't need to waste your time unless you just want sex

mrs-turner97 · Answer

If you don’t mind then ain’t nothing wrong with it you might have fun playing with the little kid

zulfiqarali · Answer

Eventually kid has to meet you.. sooner is good so that if it not work for u at least u not have much pain.. did he ask ur permission to bring him with u? If u like that man he will get impress if u handle this in a good way.. just be positive..

jimyee · Answer

Super bad idea. It's very irresponsible of him to bring his child around women who may not stick around.

mrb187 · Answer

Odds are if he is single and has a kid, that kid is an important part of his life, and he probably wants to see how you'll interact with the child.

chrisbigman · Answer

That's a bit bold to bring a child to a first date. I don't think it's a good idea to bring a child to a first date, for multiple reasons. You might give the kid the wrong idea of what they are doing there. They may not be happy to be there once they find out the reason. Meeting the child is a much later meeting, if you ask me.

fauchelevent · Answer

Give it a chance, it might be totally fine but I dunno, I would think it’s a little inappropriate for a first date

Notyourguy · Answer

for if it does matter. the guy is being honest and he would want you to know that he has a child before even you could think of anything else.

breadisyummy · Answer

How old are you? And how old is this guy. I take it based on the age you present on site you are young? I highly recommend you NOT go on the date. That’s gonna mess the kid up meeting his dates ASAP.

NatalieLove777 · Answer

Get a babysitter, having a little child along will change the whole mood of the date and his focus will be split. You should get to know him first and then his kids.

SirenDep · Answer

I'd prefer to get to know him first. Then meet his child. Do what you feel is best

NightLily · Answer

It's really up to you. If you don't mind then go ahead with it. And kids will like you over time, don't feel bad if he doesn't like you at first.

ZELLxoxo · Answer

It's alright.. A bit weird for a first date but.. I guess doesn't matter.

Annie_Mosity · Answer

I really don't think he should be taking his child on dates... most people are thinking about how long to wait before letting you meet their child, not bringing it along with. Nope, bad idea.

princess_kay · Answer

I think that a guy or girl shouldn't bring their child on the first date. If you are a girl get to know the guy and if you're a guy get to know the girl first and if you see it going somewhere hang out a couple more times and then introduce your child or children

pannenkoek · Answer

It depends it could go both ways. If the child likes you and the guy likes you then it won't be a problem. But it depends on what you are doing I would suggest to do something with that child like going to a park or something

trudyk · Answer

Maybe he bought the kid because no one was there to look after him.

BillyB4 · Answer

I would try to reschedule and find a day when just the two of you can be together

zagor · Answer

Doesn't sound like a good idea for a first date. The kid could be having a bad day and distract you from learning about each other.

eddie1982 · Answer

You are seeing what he is bringing to the table. It is something that you need to realize is this life is what you want and step up be a step mom. Or you just making harder to make a deal breaker.

jaidee · Answer

Dates and kids are incompatible. The other person must be able to dedicate some time to you only. Better reschedule.

Finchie40 · Answer

Ummm yea what the fuck is he looking for a new wife and step mom , I feel bad for the kid to be honest

Casus_Angelus · Answer

It is just a date, doesn't matter, let his inner father figure shine, at least you can learn how to deal with a child too

alice55 · Answer

On first date it's date, he should do it later. Poor kid, I imagine if his father is dating hundred of women in a months or so

Shoenron · Answer

It's a bad idea for a first date. But what would you want him to do? Put his kid away for the few moments he's with him just to see you?

Heavente · Answer

If you want to date him.. Kid will be part of your life anyway. Pretty good idea to bring that kid with him.

sassylouise · Answer

Yes that's not good and if it was you or a mum introducing your/their child to everyone you meet isn't good for the child. Best to tell him to leave him with the mum or his mum or someone. Once it's serious if it gets tgat far then yes but slowly

mademistakes · Answer

Yeah that's not proper. Change to a day.  If you can't find the time to find a babysitter for the child then he's clueless how to date. Red flag.

smrthomson · Answer

Not on the first, thats crazzy but pretty sure he had his reasonss😝😝😊

gipsygold · Answer

It does matter because she is showing you sincerity and open minded person

Anonymous · Answer

No I wouldn't feel comfortable with it - when a child is involved it's one of those things you have to introduce gradually not wham bam! It's really up to you, but me personally not that fast...

PussiCatNeko · Answer

No stay with the day, it means that he is serious about you two. No parent would bring their child unless it was serious for them

old-guys-rule · Answer

It could be confusing for the child, reason enough to decline.

lostheart133 · Answer

Babies have awareness like we don't have and if you don't like the baby then the babies father might not want to go out with you. I think u should be OK with it because in a way he may be testing you.

inmensus · Answer

It shouldn't be a problem for both of you but it might be confusing for his kid.

likesharing · Answer

Yes. I am a single dad and do not introduce my daughter to women I date until we have developed a strong relationship.

Awlee · Answer

I personally think it's a bad idea to bring a kid along but at least you know they have a kid PRIOR to going on a first date.

StVicious86 · Answer

Thats not only terrible dating etiquette its terrible parenting!

shep0612 · Answer

Cjange days you should not meet the kid tell i r serious about ur relationship

spartan55 · Answer

He can't find a sitter for a couple of hours?

chrisv · Answer

That’s a bad, bad, bad, BAD idea!!

GokuBlack · Answer

Its definitely a bad idea My opinion

princess8403 · Answer

no bring them with you

rz1985 · Answer

It matters. He shouldn't do that

mrb26 · Answer

Seems to soon to have kid tag along on a first day

Danium_8 · Answer

Nah its ok

Anonymous · Answer

That definitely odd the kid to attract women huh.

jimmy2 · Answer

it is what it is

Does it matter if a guy brings his child along on the first date? Is that a bad idea and should we change days or doesn’t it matter?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Does it matter if a guy brings his child along on the first date? Is that a bad idea and should we change days or doesn’t it matter?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.