Can a guy and a girl go to a baseball game as "just friends"?

[Anonymous]

There's this guy who I'm friends with benefits with pretty much. He stated awhile ago that he doesn't want to settle down. I have feelings but I haven't said anything in risk of ruining the friendship. We are making plans to hang out tomorrow and he brought up going to the Cubs game if they're in town. Is it possible for just the two of us to go to a game as just friends or does it give off a date vibe?

Even though we're friends with benefits, we text a fair amount though we don't text every day. It's also about genuine stuff most of the time.

[Doncastar]

Another friends with benefits thinking the guy loves her lol. No he doesn't and if he did, he wouldn't even be in a friends with benefits situation. He would reach out as a boufriend potential from the start.
He pays for everything since he gets to bang you not because he loves you like you are trying to prove. Also the fact that you guys keep away from each other most of the time indicates he's not serious.
My boyfriend had a similar friends with benefits and he finally dumped her because when werent together, he was reaching out to me as a potential boyfriend from the instant we met. while with her, he was just friends with benefits.
Sorry to burst your bubble but if you have an ounce of sense, get some self respect or keep away from fwbs as they rarely last or turn into love.

[Asker]

The only reason why we don’t see each other much is because we both still live at home, our schedules are generally busy with work, and we live kind of far from each other 😴🤷🏽‍♀️

[Doncastar]

Listen, if a guy wants to see you, he will see you. Esp if he's already having sex with you.

[Unknowndesire]

Your getting to attached I think you shouldn’t go. The worst thing is to find out he doesn’t feel the same and cause your friendship relationship to be weird. I currently have a friends with benefits and he has gotten attached to me where he will not let me be with other men even though he’s married and I obviously plan on getting married etc. when friends with benefits gets attached most of the time it ends wrong due to the opposite person not feeling the same way or them becoming controlling on who u date and mess with

[newbie2015]

so you like him but want to pretend you dont like him, and feel like auggesting you deserve more then getting fucked makes you look less attractive to him? maybe i'm no longer young and hip, but kast time i checked if I wanted to be with a guy I would be holding out for a real date, not pretending one was just casual.

so a) dwxise if you like him or not. b) stop sending weird mixed signals. no wonder her tells you he doesn't want more! you don't even want to consider this a date!

[Asker]

I don’t want to ruin the friendship. I know it’s not ideal because I have feelings for him.

Who said I wouldn’t consider it a date? I already know he doesn’t want to settle down, he told me this as I put in the description of the question. I’d consider it a date if he did but before we hung out recently he asked if I thought it was a date then he said he thinks it’s just a friends thing. Though he paid for everything.

[newbie2015]

tell him point blank you won't go UNLESS its a date! why are you compromising your integrity, happiness and sense of self to placate this guy? unless he cares for you, why are you putting SOOOO much effort into him?

[CarpetDenim]

They usually can, but in your situation no

[CarpetDenim]

Thank you

[CallMeDave]

Yes, you can do that as friends. There's a lot of things you can do as friends. I've had totally platonic female friends that I went out to dinner with (in one case usually a couple of times a month), took day trips with, and things like that. I've even gone on vacation with platonic female friends. Female+male+some (non-sexual) activity doesn't have to mean it's a date. It could just be friends doing things together.

[Asker]

Oh yes for sure. However have you paid for those female friends? This guy has paid for everything for me every time we’ve hung out. I should’ve probably mentioned that lol

[CallMeDave]

No, in most cases we each paid for ourselves or alternated who paid.

I think it's possible for it to still be "just friends" if one person pays for everything (particularly if they have significantly more money than the other person), but to me it does seems more date-like if he's always paying for everything.

I also think that if you do a lot of things together that don't involve sex in addition to the sex, then that seems closer to a full-fledged relationship than friends with benefits to me. The only thing missing might be that he doesn't want to commit. How often are you together? And does he do things with other women or are you pretty much the only one?

[Asker]

Yeah that’s the thing, he’s either paid for everything or offers to pay if I say I’m hungry or something. We do other things that don’t involve only sex so you are right on that. He doesn’t want to commit at all.

We’re not together very much maybe a couple of times a month. We both still live at home until later this year and I happen to be house sitting this week and the lady doesn’t care if I have people over. As far as I know, I’m the only woman he actually hangs out with but he probably talks to other women.

[CallMeDave]

If you're only together a couple of times a month and there's no commitment, then I'd call that friends with benefits. If you were together a lot, then it might seem more like a relationship.

I guess the question is are you happy with things the way they are? You said you have feelings so I'm guessing that means you'd prefer to have more than what you currently have. If he's so strongly against commitment though, then you might be right that he might be scared off if he thinks you want a relationship.

Maybe you can try suggesting getting together more often (but do it gradually) and see how that goes. Whatever his fear of commitment is might be reduced if he starts noticing that he's with you a lot anyway and he likes it and doesn't have any other women he really wants to be with. You probably need to build it up slowly though. Like maybe start with suggesting one extra time together a month for a few months, then try two extra times a month for a few months and see how that goes.

[Asker]

Oh yeah I’m open to trying to ask to hang more for sure. It’s just that we both still live at home and during the week we’re generally busy with work and such. Also we live kind of far from each other. I would for sure build that up slowly, that is my goal.

[CallMeDave]

It sounds like you have some challenges with the distance and schedules but maybe you can still increase your interaction a little. Maybe if it builds up slowly enough, he won't be scared by it and one day will realize he's basically in a relationship with you and it's good and then he'll be willing to commit. Good luck!

If you think about it several months from now I'd be interested to hear how it's going.

[shephardjhon]

they can but you and that guy can not. You seem to like him and he invited you over to the game and you apparently text often too, and both seem to like. What is the use of hiding?
Both of you want to date each other without telling the other person you are dating them, for some reason. You are literally hiding the date from the person you are dating.

[Asker]

I don’t think he wants to date me. When we first started hanging out, he told me he didn’t want to settle down. But he either offers to pay or does pay for everything when we do hang out, which throws me off.

[shephardjhon]

He IS dating you, he just won't admit it or maybe he doesn't want to admit it.

[Asker]

Yeah I'm not sure what it is. We did hang out, decided not to go to the game, and went to get dinner and drinks instead. We went to a semi-fancy restaurant (his choice) and he paid for everything. He told me he never expects me to pay due to my financial situation.

[tychi3400]

ABORT MISSION! NO JOKE! FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS IS TOXIC TO ANYONE WHO HARBORS ACTUAL AND POSSIBLY DEEP FEELINGS!

No but seriously. You can go to the game as friends but considering the context I do suggest that you back up on the benefits there. Sorry I overextend my opinion but I see too many people get hurt in a situation like yours. If it's not mutual that the two of you don't want a relationship then whoever has feelings is literally waiting to get hurt.

[Anonymous]

You are both colluding with each other in this common lie. This culture is all about pretense... pretending to be something you aren't. What you need to realize is that we were born of truth and love... and every time you live this lie you weaken the core of your being and prevent true contentment from arising in your own life.

Cut out this bullshit, and stop following others.

[Asker]

Uh what lol

[Davidzalman]

He may be thinking you're not ready to settle down. That is why you've not talked to him about it.. Go to the club game with him and bring up the topic. And see his reactions. If its positive, then he is serious, if its not, then walk away.. Go find a real life with a real man

[DocilexElle]

I wouldn't consider going to a baseball game any more date-like than going to a concert. It might be even less date-like than that!

Going off that; I've got a question for you too; how often should friends with benefits text each other?

[Asker]

Hmm that’s true. That’s a good question. Honestly I don’t know. Most of the situations I’ve been in or heard about, they’d only text if it involved “hanging.”

This is the first friends with benefits situation that we’ve talked about everything there is to talk about and not just sex. We almost text like we’re boyfriend and girlfriend besides the good morning texts (we’ll text good night but I feel that’s normal) and pet names. I just don’t think friends with benefits should text 24/7 unless boundaries have been all set

[DocilexElle]

Hope I helped you! Okay, so... mainly for making plans/if they're going to fk that day etc? Is it weird to over time stop messaging them every day?

[Asker]

That's what it usually turns into. I think a lot of guys say friends with benefits as a nicer term that's not a f**k buddy. Depending on the person, it may be weird if they started distancing themselves every day.

[Aenetoo]

No. A baseball game is so boring that it becomes traumatic and psychologically damaging. I've seen people walk out of a baseball stadium in tears, crying on each other's shoulders. Most of them can never eat a hotdog again. It's tragic.

[Anon-ymous1]

Gives off date vibe since you've had sex, IF you've had sex.

[Asker]

Yep we've had sex. He also has paid or offered to pay for everything whenever we've been out somewhere so it wouldn't be out of the ordinary for him to attempt to pay for everything tomorrow.

[Anon-ymous1]

Sounds like all you don't have then is a label. Which for some reason is important to girls. Labels, I mean.

[Asker]

Eh I wouldn't really know what to label it as. I don't even know if friends with benefits would be the proper one anyways. I know he talks to other girls however I'm the only one he hangs with that I'm aware of.

[TehFamingTadis]

Date vibes are all about the perception, if you both pay for your own stuff, and maybe keep hands to yourself the you should be fine!!

[Asker]

That's the thing, he either has paid or has offered to pay for everything so far lol. So it wouldn't be out of the ordinary if he at least attempted to tomorrow.

[Stockton]

The only ones who can answer that question is you two.

[unkqty]

it's a baseball game - not a commitment.
no problem.

[Mutevibes]

Well why wouldn't you be able to go as friends? Just wait for what may happen. If he approaches you with an arm around you or more then it's Def. A date. Otherwise.. Just have a great time together as friends :D

[newPython]

Umm.. you may not be boyfriend and girlfriend, but if you are having the "benefits", you are dating.

[CindersFire]

Yes you definitely can however you guys aren't just friends. However if you are waiting hoping that his feelings change they won't.

[Asker]

Yeah I know we aren’t, we definitely flirt and such when we’re together. We almost dated earlier this year but he then decided that he didn’t want to pursue it further and I stopped talking to him for awhile though he’d reach out to me. It’s just confusing because when we are out together he will pay for everything, rush to hold the door open for me, etc.

[ToToRoUNKnoWn]

The thing with vibes is you get to make em. so if you want it to be just a game as friends make it so unless you want it to be more.. You will be the judge👍

[andreasderjuengere]

Not even Ernie and Bert can innocently do this, without certain people beginning to speculate.

[Mazerock]

It could just be as friends. Why don't you go and just see how things go and if you feel like it was a date try talking to him. Explain that you feel like you guys are really good together and you were wondering if he wanted to try being a couple

[brianbigb]

If he is willing to spend his money on you and take you places when you are already having sex with him... more than likely that there is more feelings than he wants to discuss.

[ecfresh]

When you told him that you have feeling for him what did he say?

[Asker]

He doesn't know I still have them, at least I should say. Earlier this year, we did talk about the idea of dating but he then decided that he generally didn't want to pursue it further. We stopped talking for a few months besides him reaching out a few times. Back in the beginning of July, we hung out one-on-one for the first time and he told me that he wasn't looking to settle down. However whenever we are together he either offers to pay or does end up paying for everything.

[ecfresh]

If he had feeling you would expect him to tell you, you want honesty. So tell him you have feelings. Also tell him if you want to date him or continue as FTF. He has a right to know if you have feelings for him.

[taleswapper]

Yes, FWBs can do the friend thing. Go to the game. Have fun.

[Amystarbaby]

Bitch go as friends with benefits , fuck a label , be comfortable with what you have and it'll be fine, anyone can go as JUST FRIENDS but friends with benefits is way better to go to a game as

[wadeabeee]

You can't be just friend's if you're still having sex. So yes, everything about you gives date vibes with a coating of Daddy issues making you unable to commit.

[SelfishGuy]

Well if you cannot think of him as a friend, and he is not committed I would suggest try avoiding him. Otherwise expect to get hurt.

[Kingfish3447]

Nope... there will always be a sexual tension between the two!

[CandacePerry]

It dumb. friendship with beefier. It, not a fucking proper relationship. how dumb can a girl be?

[lernulo]

If there is a place to make it, its a baseball game ( I think a monster truck fight would be a very good place too)

[reptocarl]

You want more but you’ll never get it from him so why do you stay? Are you really this stupid?

[Jecky2]

What the heck is friend with benefits? Ah, He's impatient I see 🙂. Yeah you can go as friends 🙂.

[jimmy2]

Well dont guard your heart go and have a great time

[bklynbadboy1]

Sure they can I went to plenty of basketball games with my friends and I'm not talking about guy friends

[ryryryan]

Labels are the worst. Do u wanna go? Does it sound fun?

[ryryryan]

Personally I can't stand being at baseball games

[Anonymous]

Yeah, its fine. I have done stuff like that with my friends with benefits.

[up_64]

Its a baseball game not his bedroom for christs sake. yes

[skeetskeetskeet]

Only if they are cool being friends that fuck from time to time

[YourCrusader]

You can clean his baseball bat after you finish polishing the balls.

[lexiepotter]

Savage 😂

[Aenetoo]

And then he can run around your diamond for a homerun.

[Anonymous]

Yes y'all can its normal for a guy and a girl go out to a baseball game in my opinion friends go out a lot but make sure if u post a pic u add friends to it

[Asker]

It’s just us two that’s the thing lol meaning the pics part.

[Anonymous]

Okay. Friends yes. Friends with benefits no. You might catch feelings as time goes on if you keep going on dates

[markscott]

Go to the game, friends do that kind of thing.

[penguin1965]

Man I wish I was 18 again. Apparently freinds with benefits are popular today. Not when I was 18.

[kaskas19]

If you're just friends, then your just friends.

[SkipStop]

Of course. A baseball game is for fun, not a date.

[newPython]

A date is fun too. A date doesn't have to be serious either.

[ladsin]

Yeah.

[Eryxx]

Yeah

[HughDogg]

Guys and girls can't be "just friends"

[lovedejj_xo]

I don’t see why not

[pretty_19]

ya they can

[BHooper]

I think so.

[JamieDTF]

Yeah if they both feel the same way about it

[sforsaini]

Only if both love baseball

[SjE78]

yeah :)

[ohskippy]

Of course they can

[PrincessJasmindaaa]

Yeah they can

[AdmiralBailey]

JUST DATE ALREADY

[Anonymous]

Men and women should be kept separate

[bades9007]

sure, why not?

[Princekashif]

Hello

[JLM_Official]

Yeah, why not?

[Anonymous]

Good

[Other_Tommy_Wiseau]

no. it's illegal

[shephardjhon]

I Did not date him, I did NAWT.
oh hi Mark.

[Montana07]

Sure

[roseypopxox]

Yeah

[Bismarck_96]

I just lost 24 brain cells to this

[Asker]

Doesn't surprise me since you don't understand it

[Bismarck_96]

I don’t its like I’m talking to my other female friend she has the same issue but she’s the stubborn type no matter how many times she gets hurt she wouldn’t listen my word to leave him