Can a guy and a girl go to a baseball game as "just friends"?

There's this guy who I'm friends with benefits with pretty much. He stated awhile ago that he doesn't want to settle down. I have feelings but I haven't said anything in risk of ruining the friendship. We are making plans to hang out tomorrow and he brought up going to the Cubs game if they're in town. Is it possible for just the two of us to go to a game as just friends or does it give off a date vibe?

Even though we're friends with benefits, we text a fair amount though we don't text every day. It's also about genuine stuff most of the time.

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  • they can but you and that guy can not. You seem to like him and he invited you over to the game and you apparently text often too, and both seem to like. What is the use of hiding?
    Both of you want to date each other without telling the other person you are dating them, for some reason. You are literally hiding the date from the person you are dating.

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    • I don’t think he wants to date me. When we first started hanging out, he told me he didn’t want to settle down. But he either offers to pay or does pay for everything when we do hang out, which throws me off.

    • He IS dating you, he just won't admit it or maybe he doesn't want to admit it.

    • Yeah I'm not sure what it is. We did hang out, decided not to go to the game, and went to get dinner and drinks instead. We went to a semi-fancy restaurant (his choice) and he paid for everything. He told me he never expects me to pay due to my financial situation.

Most Helpful Girl

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What Guys Said 53

  • Yes, you can do that as friends. There's a lot of things you can do as friends. I've had totally platonic female friends that I went out to dinner with (in one case usually a couple of times a month), took day trips with, and things like that. I've even gone on vacation with platonic female friends. Female+male+some (non-sexual) activity doesn't have to mean it's a date. It could just be friends doing things together.

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    • Oh yes for sure. However have you paid for those female friends? This guy has paid for everything for me every time we’ve hung out. I should’ve probably mentioned that lol

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    • Oh yeah I’m open to trying to ask to hang more for sure. It’s just that we both still live at home and during the week we’re generally busy with work and such. Also we live kind of far from each other. I would for sure build that up slowly, that is my goal.

    • It sounds like you have some challenges with the distance and schedules but maybe you can still increase your interaction a little. Maybe if it builds up slowly enough, he won't be scared by it and one day will realize he's basically in a relationship with you and it's good and then he'll be willing to commit. Good luck!

      If you think about it several months from now I'd be interested to hear how it's going.

  • ABORT MISSION! NO JOKE! FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS IS TOXIC TO ANYONE WHO HARBORS ACTUAL AND POSSIBLY DEEP FEELINGS!

    No but seriously. You can go to the game as friends but considering the context I do suggest that you back up on the benefits there. Sorry I overextend my opinion but I see too many people get hurt in a situation like yours. If it's not mutual that the two of you don't want a relationship then whoever has feelings is literally waiting to get hurt.

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  • Date vibes are all about the perception, if you both pay for your own stuff, and maybe keep hands to yourself the you should be fine!!

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    • That's the thing, he either has paid or has offered to pay for everything so far lol. So it wouldn't be out of the ordinary if he at least attempted to tomorrow.

  • He may be thinking you're not ready to settle down. That is why you've not talked to him about it.. Go to the club game with him and bring up the topic. And see his reactions. If its positive, then he is serious, if its not, then walk away.. Go find a real life with a real man

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  • Well why wouldn't you be able to go as friends? Just wait for what may happen. If he approaches you with an arm around you or more then it's Def. A date. Otherwise.. Just have a great time together as friends :D

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  • Gives off date vibe since you've had sex, IF you've had sex.

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    • Yep we've had sex. He also has paid or offered to pay for everything whenever we've been out somewhere so it wouldn't be out of the ordinary for him to attempt to pay for everything tomorrow.

    • Sounds like all you don't have then is a label. Which for some reason is important to girls. Labels, I mean.

    • Eh I wouldn't really know what to label it as. I don't even know if friends with benefits would be the proper one anyways. I know he talks to other girls however I'm the only one he hangs with that I'm aware of.

  • No. A baseball game is so boring that it becomes traumatic and psychologically damaging. I've seen people walk out of a baseball stadium in tears, crying on each other's shoulders. Most of them can never eat a hotdog again. It's tragic.

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  • If he is willing to spend his money on you and take you places when you are already having sex with him... more than likely that there is more feelings than he wants to discuss.

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  • The only ones who can answer that question is you two.

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  • Well if you cannot think of him as a friend, and he is not committed I would suggest try avoiding him. Otherwise expect to get hurt.

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  • Yes you definitely can however you guys aren't just friends. However if you are waiting hoping that his feelings change they won't.

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    • Yeah I know we aren’t, we definitely flirt and such when we’re together. We almost dated earlier this year but he then decided that he didn’t want to pursue it further and I stopped talking to him for awhile though he’d reach out to me. It’s just confusing because when we are out together he will pay for everything, rush to hold the door open for me, etc.

  • it's a baseball game - not a commitment.
    no problem.

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  • The thing with vibes is you get to make em. so if you want it to be just a game as friends make it so unless you want it to be more.. You will be the judge👍

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  • Umm.. you may not be boyfriend and girlfriend, but if you are having the "benefits", you are dating.

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  • You can't be just friend's if you're still having sex. So yes, everything about you gives date vibes with a coating of Daddy issues making you unable to commit.

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  • It could just be as friends. Why don't you go and just see how things go and if you feel like it was a date try talking to him. Explain that you feel like you guys are really good together and you were wondering if he wanted to try being a couple

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  • Yes, FWBs can do the friend thing. Go to the game. Have fun.

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  • Not even Ernie and Bert can innocently do this, without certain people beginning to speculate.

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  • Its a baseball game not his bedroom for christs sake. yes

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  • Man I wish I was 18 again. Apparently freinds with benefits are popular today. Not when I was 18.

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  • Sure they can I went to plenty of basketball games with my friends and I'm not talking about guy friends

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  • When you told him that you have feeling for him what did he say?

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    • He doesn't know I still have them, at least I should say. Earlier this year, we did talk about the idea of dating but he then decided that he generally didn't want to pursue it further. We stopped talking for a few months besides him reaching out a few times. Back in the beginning of July, we hung out one-on-one for the first time and he told me that he wasn't looking to settle down. However whenever we are together he either offers to pay or does end up paying for everything.

    • If he had feeling you would expect him to tell you, you want honesty. So tell him you have feelings. Also tell him if you want to date him or continue as FTF. He has a right to know if you have feelings for him.

  • You want more but you’ll never get it from him so why do you stay? Are you really this stupid?

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  • If there is a place to make it, its a baseball game ( I think a monster truck fight would be a very good place too)

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  • Nope... there will always be a sexual tension between the two!

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  • What the heck is friend with benefits? Ah, He's impatient I see 🙂. Yeah you can go as friends 🙂.

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  • Well dont guard your heart go and have a great time

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  • Labels are the worst. Do u wanna go? Does it sound fun?

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  • You can clean his baseball bat after you finish polishing the balls.

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  • Only if they are cool being friends that fuck from time to time

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What Girls Said 16

  • so you like him but want to pretend you dont like him, and feel like auggesting you deserve more then getting fucked makes you look less attractive to him? maybe i'm no longer young and hip, but kast time i checked if I wanted to be with a guy I would be holding out for a real date, not pretending one was just casual.

    so a) dwxise if you like him or not. b) stop sending weird mixed signals. no wonder her tells you he doesn't want more! you don't even want to consider this a date!

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    • I don’t want to ruin the friendship. I know it’s not ideal because I have feelings for him.

      Who said I wouldn’t consider it a date? I already know he doesn’t want to settle down, he told me this as I put in the description of the question. I’d consider it a date if he did but before we hung out recently he asked if I thought it was a date then he said he thinks it’s just a friends thing. Though he paid for everything.

    • tell him point blank you won't go UNLESS its a date! why are you compromising your integrity, happiness and sense of self to placate this guy? unless he cares for you, why are you putting SOOOO much effort into him?

  • I wouldn't consider going to a baseball game any more date-like than going to a concert. It might be even less date-like than that!

    Going off that; I've got a question for you too; how often should friends with benefits text each other?

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    • Hmm that’s true. That’s a good question. Honestly I don’t know. Most of the situations I’ve been in or heard about, they’d only text if it involved “hanging.”

      This is the first friends with benefits situation that we’ve talked about everything there is to talk about and not just sex. We almost text like we’re boyfriend and girlfriend besides the good morning texts (we’ll text good night but I feel that’s normal) and pet names. I just don’t think friends with benefits should text 24/7 unless boundaries have been all set

    • Hope I helped you! Okay, so... mainly for making plans/if they're going to fk that day etc? Is it weird to over time stop messaging them every day?

    • That's what it usually turns into. I think a lot of guys say friends with benefits as a nicer term that's not a f**k buddy. Depending on the person, it may be weird if they started distancing themselves every day.

  • Bitch go as friends with benefits , fuck a label , be comfortable with what you have and it'll be fine, anyone can go as JUST FRIENDS but friends with benefits is way better to go to a game as

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  • Your getting to attached I think you shouldn’t go. The worst thing is to find out he doesn’t feel the same and cause your friendship relationship to be weird. I currently have a friends with benefits and he has gotten attached to me where he will not let me be with other men even though he’s married and I obviously plan on getting married etc. when friends with benefits gets attached most of the time it ends wrong due to the opposite person not feeling the same way or them becoming controlling on who u date and mess with

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  • It dumb. friendship with beefier. It, not a fucking proper relationship. how dumb can a girl be?

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  • Another friends with benefits thinking the guy loves her lol. No he doesn't and if he did, he wouldn't even be in a friends with benefits situation. He would reach out as a boufriend potential from the start.
    He pays for everything since he gets to bang you not because he loves you like you are trying to prove. Also the fact that you guys keep away from each other most of the time indicates he's not serious.
    My boyfriend had a similar friends with benefits and he finally dumped her because when werent together, he was reaching out to me as a potential boyfriend from the instant we met. while with her, he was just friends with benefits.
    Sorry to burst your bubble but if you have an ounce of sense, get some self respect or keep away from fwbs as they rarely last or turn into love.

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    • The only reason why we don’t see each other much is because we both still live at home, our schedules are generally busy with work, and we live kind of far from each other 😴🤷🏽‍♀️

    • Listen, if a guy wants to see you, he will see you. Esp if he's already having sex with you.

  • I don’t see why not

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  • ya they can

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  • If you're just friends, then your just friends.

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  • Yeah they can

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  • Hello

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  • Sure

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  • Yeah

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  • W#ore

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    • Not surprising that you call me that anonymously lol. I know I'm not so I won't take this seriously.

    • You ask this anonymously too.

    • I'm aware of that. However I'm not calling people names anonymously.

  • Good

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  • Yes why not

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