Do men like needy women?

[Anonymous]

Someone told me I’m always single because I’m too independent. Is that a thing? Is it good to be a little needy sometimes? When does it get to the point where it’s too much?

[ak667]

For me "needy" is strictly a bad quality. But I'm going by this sort of dictionary definition:

>> (of a person) needing emotional support; insecure.

As in insecure, dramatic, emotional, makes a scene if you're busy and don't have time to reply to her, etc.

Affectionate is perfectly okay and desirable to me since I'm very affectionate. When we're together I don't mind if we're cuddling and hugging all the time and holding hands wherever we go. I do that with my wife.

But if we're talking like drama and insecurity and negative thinking of a kind that triggers negative emotions like sadness and jealousy and anger and despair, any amount is too much for me. I mean I can tolerate a small amount, but I'd rather do without it completely.

[ak667]

I prefer a woman who "wants" to be with me to be even happier, doesn't "need" to be with me to be happy or sane at all.

[ak667]

"Needy" also implies distrust and suspicion to me. It's usually the case in my experience with what I consider "needy". They don't fully trust you when you're away from them, worry that you don't love them anymore, that you're going to cheat on them, that you died because you didn't reply to a call very promptly, etc. So to me it's like "How much distrust is healthy for a relationship?" And I'd go with "none".

[GingerGuy]

It depends, and in what ways. There needs to be a balance I think. And "too independent" can mean different things. Independence is attractive to me, as far as supporting yourself etc, there's no such thing as "too independent". However, if we are talking emotionally? That's a bit different. I want to feel close to you. If you are reserved, don't talk to me or are very affectionate (ie too independant that way), I don't feel wanted and desired (as you wouldn't right?), that would be "too independent". Depends what you mean by "needy" and "too independent". Everyone needs to feel wanted and desired.

[Arttania_pete]

That's true man

[Anonymous]

Some men crave a woman until they have one, and they realise they have to be mature enough too to handle this desire.
I've been told i'm too independant by two men with history of dating clinical crazy women ( like the type who would knock at their door at 2am, crying over a no reply on a text message)
The majority of people are co dependent, they know its bad for them but its matter of knowing how to be different. And not everybody go for self devpt as an option to evolve in this society who rewards emptyness and the Win-lose mindset

[Marrry]

I am very needy and one thing I know for sure is that guys hate it. They used to tell me how much they loved it but in the end I suffocated them and lied to me in order to hide things they did behind my back. One thing more :guys love to chase. don't hear them when they say they want you needy. They will appreciate you only if you aren't depended on them. if you are a little difficult to keep. Don't give yourself completely

[MrOracle]

Men like to be needed and useful at least occasionally, yes, but "needy" usually implies someone who is constantly, excessively needy, and most men don't want that at all.

If "needy" could be rated from 1 to 10, then the sweet spot would be between 2 and 4 for most guys I suspect.

[Logorithim]

Like with most Things, there is usually happy medium, but it depends on the guy, really.

[StingRayxoxo]

I’m a bit needy in a relationship. I try very hard not to be but I need to be reminded daily that I am loved.

[ecfresh]

Being independent is a good quality. That being said, even the most independent person recognizes their own shortcomings and can reach out for help from others. In other words you are not perfect at every aspect of life. So while you take care of most things in your own, be open with your SO where you need help and work with them to figure out how to get it done. Also remember they will need your help as well so be open to giving your assistance.

In a relationship there are things each person does on their own and then things you accomplish together. If you end up wanting to do everything on your own there is no need for a SO. Also when we help do things for other people we feel good and want to help them again. It's all about balance, what things do you like doing that boost your energy and what thing take away your energy that you need help with.

Yes, being too needy is a turn off. Not letting your SO have space and always needing them around is like trapping them. There should be times when as a couple you are doing your own thing and then can come together and communicate about what you did. Being totally dependent on your SO is like they are your parent and you are their child. In a relationship it works best when both people are partners and each are motivating the other person both in independent tasks as well as shared goals.

[PoliceLivesMatter]

1. It depends on the man
2. It depends on how extreme the neediness is or independence is

If a woman is too independent where she’s not consulting her partner for anything, like how to rotate the tires, how to fix the plumbing, etc. that would make a man feel unneeded or unmanly. On the flip side, if a woman is too needy it can be tiring and suffocating to have to always be there for her and always have to do something for because she can’t do it herself. I think a helpful balance between the two is where most men want their woman to be. I personally want a woman to be able to do certain things by herself and to consult me on things she needs help with or things I’m a better fit to do. I think it should be mutual.

[MittenstheGlove]

I will tell you. There is nothing like an independent woman.

Some men like to be needed, but not all men.

Independent women are scary because they can be rid of you, meaning there is little margin for error.

Independent women are smart and always expect the best of their partner.

Independent women will crush a man’s ego with very little effort and even accidentally.

Needy women are often spoiled and men don’t have the time.

As a man who knows what he wants; I don’t want a princess or a boss. I want a partner. Someone that I’ll want to give to and she does the same for me.

[btbc92]

No. It depends on what you mean by needy. The term 'needy' has been misused as somebody who is more emotionally passionate, or forward. Needy is when they can't live without you or do anything in life without you. Needy people are co-dependent on an unhealthy level. And unless your crazy, I doubt they want to stick around for that.

[Browneye57]

It's natural for men to want to be needed. They are drawn to a woman that needs them. The NUMBER ONE trait for any woman in a man's eyes is her level of attraction and desire. EVERYTHING else is secondary, even your looks, even your job, what you do, your tits, none of that really matters as much. Besides, if you have none, it's not going anywhere any time soon anyway.

Independence is good, no one likes 'needy' people, no one wants to babysit another adult. But once you cross over into "I don't need no stinkin' man' then all bets are off.

Feminism claims women don't need no stinking man...'till their roof leaks, their pipes break, or their car quits. Then they need a man. Oh well.

My guess is you're not 'too independent', you're just toxic. If you argue and criticize, think you know everything, think you're better than any guy, then really no guy is going to put up with all that.

[NeglectedChild]

Men like to feel needed. If they don't feel needed they feel useless and lose their self worth.
Throw them a bone here and there. Ask them to open a jar of pickles or something.

In my experience all women are needy to some extent, which is not always a bad thing.

[ImHarmless]

I hate needy women, I've left two of my four relationships because they were too needy. I would really enjoy someone independent with the caviot that when they're with me, they're with me. When we're apart we can be different people but when we're together we are us. If that makes any sense.

[TheBootyChest]

I think "needy" is too strong of a word for this.

You don't have to be needy. It's more about being willing to accept his help when he offers it. And not be so set in your ways that you insist that you have to do everything for yourself. I think that is what might be off putting to most guys.

Think of it from the other side, if he was too independent that you felt like you aren't there, or feel like you are in a relationship with someone.

[ShortCircuit]

I can only speak for myself, but I personally crave physical affection. So I would not only want a girl who was very affectionate, but also one who needed affection from me. The same goes for attention.

The only regard in which I'd like my girl to be completely independent is financially.

[slatyb]

If you appear to be totally together, then some guys, aware of their own flaws, may feel that you wouldn't be interested so they don't approach. That's how I felt when I was your age. Not a problem though. Just ask guys out yourself. Besides, everyone could use a little help now and then. When you do, don't be afraid to ask for it.

You could also try online dating. Not all the good ones are taken.

[nathanp97]

I think they are trying to say in a nicer way that you come across as antisocial and that you prefer to be and do things on your own. There is nothing wrong with those traits, but it doesn't leave room for relationships.

Being needy is a bad thing, in most cases, so I'd disagree with that.

[Anonymous]

You can't be needy with people you aren't even in a relationship with yet, right?
It's good not to be too independent in a relationship, but I guess what your friends mean is that you portray an image of not needing anyone nor anyone's help, not allowing enough room for people to try and be close to you, overall not being interested in a relationship, not being flirty, etc.

[danielmeegan]

Solitaires a great card game but ruins ones life is theyre anyone else in the universe God forbid she look beyond herself

[Devilordante]

I dont think they meant it in that way, some people might find that you're a slightly intimidating person to approach with those intentions because people might think they can't give you anything you'd actually need.

[Asker]

This is probably true. And I hate everyone so that makes it worse. But I see chicks that just ask for everything from guys and these dudes are hooked... I didn’t know if that was just normal or if I just know a lot of alluring women or what...

[MisterAnon69]

I absolutely do prefer my girlfriend to be dependent. In a relationship I find it essential to know that your partner is invested in you and has a need for you in their life. Me and my girlfriend are very co-dependent and it makes for a fun and strong bond. I know that some if my friends do find girls like mine “clingy” but I love it and honestly I guess I’m like that too.

[passinby]

By definition if you are independent you are off on your own and don't need anyone. I say stick with independent because an so is a pain in the ass in the long run. Oh yeah, needy sucks.

[Aynsof]

Different men like different things just like different women like different things
That being said I don't think the opposite of independent is needy exactly
Being overly independent can impede a relationship as it makes it harder to bond and without that the relationship will always be somewhat shallow
But for some people that is enough

[motownplayer2000]

F**k no. I want you to need me enough to want to be around me, get some good sessions in of sex and cuddle and watch a movie together occasionally. Other than that, go make that money and hang out with your friends.. be independent in all other aspects