Do men like needy women?

Question

Someone told me I’m always single because I’m too independent. Is that a thing? Is it good to be a little needy sometimes? When does it get to the point where it’s too much?

ak667 · Accepted Answer

For me "needy" is strictly a bad quality. But I'm going by this sort of dictionary definition:

>> (of a person) needing emotional support; insecure.

As in insecure, dramatic, emotional, makes a scene if you're busy and don't have time to reply to her, etc.

Affectionate is perfectly okay and desirable to me since I'm very affectionate. When we're together I don't mind if we're cuddling and hugging all the time and holding hands wherever we go. I do that with my wife.

But if we're talking like drama and insecurity and negative thinking of a kind that triggers negative emotions like sadness and jealousy and anger and despair, any amount is too much for me. I mean I can tolerate a small amount, but I'd rather do without it completely.

GingerGuy · Accepted Answer

It depends, and in what ways. There needs to be a balance I think. And "too independent" can mean different things. Independence is attractive to me, as far as supporting yourself etc, there's no such thing as "too independent". However, if we are talking emotionally? That's a bit different. I want to feel close to you. If you are reserved, don't talk to me or are very affectionate (ie too independant that way), I don't feel wanted and desired (as you wouldn't right?), that would be "too independent". Depends what you mean by "needy" and "too independent". Everyone needs to feel wanted and desired.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Some men crave a woman until they have one, and they realise they have to be mature enough too to handle this desire.
I've been told i'm too independant by two men with history of dating clinical crazy women ( like the type who would knock at their door at 2am, crying over a no reply on a text message)
The majority of people are co dependent, they know its bad for them but its matter of knowing how to be different. And not everybody go for self devpt as an option to evolve in this society who rewards emptyness and the Win-lose mindset

Marrry · Accepted Answer

I am very needy and one thing I know for sure is that guys hate it. They used to tell me how much they loved it but in the end I suffocated them and lied to me in order to hide things they did behind my back. One thing more :guys love to chase. don't hear them when they say they want you needy. They will appreciate you only if you aren't depended on them. if you are a little difficult to keep. Don't give yourself completely

MrOracle · Answer

Men like to be needed and useful at least occasionally, yes, but "needy" usually implies someone who is constantly, excessively needy, and most men don't want that at all.

If "needy" could be rated from 1 to 10, then the sweet spot would be between 2 and 4 for most guys I suspect.

Logorithim · Answer

Like with most Things, there is usually happy medium, but it depends on the guy, really.

StingRayxoxo · Answer

I’m a bit needy in a relationship. I try very hard not to be but I need to be reminded daily that I am loved.

ecfresh · Answer

Being independent is a good quality. That being said, even the most independent person recognizes their own shortcomings and can reach out for help from others. In other words you are not perfect at every aspect of life. So while you take care of most things in your own, be open with your SO where you need help and work with them to figure out how to get it done. Also remember they will need your help as well so be open to giving your assistance.

In a relationship there are things each person does on their own and then things you accomplish together. If you end up wanting to do everything on your own there is no need for a SO. Also when we help do things for other people we feel good and want to help them again. It's all about balance, what things do you like doing that boost your energy and what thing take away your energy that you need help with.

Yes, being too needy is a turn off. Not letting your SO have space and always needing them around is like trapping them. There should be times when as a couple you are doing your own thing and then can come together and communicate about what you did. Being totally dependent on your SO is like they are your parent and you are their child. In a relationship it works best when both people are partners and each are motivating the other person both in independent tasks as well as shared goals.

PoliceLivesMatter · Answer

1. It depends on the man
2. It depends on how extreme the neediness is or independence is

If a woman is too independent where she’s not consulting her partner for anything, like how to rotate the tires, how to fix the plumbing, etc. that would make a man feel unneeded or unmanly. On the flip side, if a woman is too needy it can be tiring and suffocating to have to always be there for her and always have to do something for because she can’t do it herself. I think a helpful balance between the two is where most men want their woman to be. I personally want a woman to be able to do certain things by herself and to consult me on things she needs help with or things I’m a better fit to do. I think it should be mutual.

MittenstheGlove · Answer

I will tell you. There is nothing like an independent woman.

Some men like to be needed, but not all men.

Independent women are scary because they can be rid of you, meaning there is little margin for error.

Independent women are smart and always expect the best of their partner.

Independent women will crush a man’s ego with very little effort and even accidentally.

Needy women are often spoiled and men don’t have the time.

As a man who knows what he wants; I don’t want a princess or a boss. I want a partner. Someone that I’ll want to give to and she does the same for me.

btbc92 · Answer

No. It depends on what you mean by needy. The term 'needy' has been misused as somebody who is more emotionally passionate, or forward. Needy is when they can't live without you or do anything in life without you. Needy people are co-dependent on an unhealthy level. And unless your crazy, I doubt they want to stick around for that.

Browneye57 · Answer

It's natural for men to want to be needed. They are drawn to a woman that needs them. The NUMBER ONE trait for any woman in a man's eyes is her level of attraction and desire. EVERYTHING else is secondary, even your looks, even your job, what you do, your tits, none of that really matters as much. Besides, if you have none, it's not going anywhere any time soon anyway.

Independence is good, no one likes 'needy' people, no one wants to babysit another adult. But once you cross over into "I don't need no stinkin' man' then all bets are off.

Feminism claims women don't need no stinking man...'till their roof leaks, their pipes break, or their car quits. Then they need a man. Oh well.

My guess is you're not 'too independent', you're just toxic. If you argue and criticize, think you know everything, think you're better than any guy, then really no guy is going to put up with all that.

NeglectedChild · Answer

Men like to feel needed. If they don't feel needed they feel useless and lose their self worth.
Throw them a bone here and there. Ask them to open a jar of pickles or something.

In my experience all women are needy to some extent, which is not always a bad thing.

ImHarmless · Answer

I hate needy women, I've left two of my four relationships because they were too needy. I would really enjoy someone independent with the caviot that when they're with me, they're with me. When we're apart we can be different people but when we're together we are us. If that makes any sense.

TheBootyChest · Answer

I think "needy" is too strong of a word for this.

You don't have to be needy. It's more about being willing to accept his help when he offers it. And not be so set in your ways that you insist that you have to do everything for yourself. I think that is what might be off putting to most guys.

Think of it from the other side, if he was too independent that you felt like you aren't there, or feel like you are in a relationship with someone.

ShortCircuit · Answer

I can only speak for myself, but I personally crave physical affection. So I would not only want a girl who was very affectionate, but also one who needed affection from me. The same goes for attention.

The only regard in which I'd like my girl to be completely independent is financially.

slatyb · Answer

If you appear to be totally together, then some guys, aware of their own flaws, may feel that you wouldn't be interested so they don't approach. That's how I felt when I was your age. Not a problem though. Just ask guys out yourself. Besides, everyone could use a little help now and then. When you do, don't be afraid to ask for it.

You could also try online dating. Not all the good ones are taken.

nathanp97 · Answer

I think they are trying to say in a nicer way that you come across as antisocial and that you prefer to be and do things on your own. There is nothing wrong with those traits, but it doesn't leave room for relationships.

Being needy is a bad thing, in most cases, so I'd disagree with that.

Anonymous · Answer

You can't be needy with people you aren't even in a relationship with yet, right?
It's good not to be too independent in a relationship, but I guess what your friends mean is that you portray an image of not needing anyone nor anyone's help, not allowing enough room for people to try and be close to you, overall not being interested in a relationship, not being flirty, etc.

Devilordante · Answer

I dont think they meant it in that way, some people might find that you're a slightly intimidating person to approach with those intentions because people might think they can't give you anything you'd actually need.

MisterAnon69 · Answer

I absolutely do prefer my girlfriend to be dependent. In a relationship I find it essential to know that your partner is invested in you and has a need for you in their life. Me and my girlfriend are very co-dependent and it makes for a fun and strong bond. I know that some if my friends do find girls like mine “clingy” but I love it and honestly I guess I’m like that too.

passinby · Answer

By definition if you are independent you are off on your own and don't need anyone. I say stick with independent because an so is a pain in the ass in the long run. Oh yeah, needy sucks.

Aynsof · Answer

Different men like different things just like different women like different things
That being said I don't think the opposite of independent is needy exactly
Being overly independent can impede a relationship as it makes it harder to bond and without that the relationship will always be somewhat shallow
But for some people that is enough

motownplayer2000 · Answer

F**k no. I want you to need me enough to want to be around me, get some good sessions in of sex and cuddle and watch a movie together occasionally. Other than that, go make that money and hang out with your friends.. be independent in all other aspects

louiseisaturtle · Answer

That's a good attribute.
I don't think it's about being needy but being to ask help from him when you need to like reaching something from the hanging cabinets. It would be nice if he knows that you need him to do his part as a man. But you stay emotionally, mentally, and financially independent.

TacosRAwesome · Answer

Yes and no. I think they want to feel important in someone's life but not their whole life.

Danxsarah · Answer

There is a difference between being needy and being dependent on someone

a lot of the times they get mixed up

My wife is needy but she doesn't depend on me for everything

Being independent or too independent can upset people not that it's bad but a lot can mistake that as you dont need them at all

The_FallenOne · Answer

I think it's nice to feel needed every once in a while, but to be with someone needy is not now I role. I HATE clingy and needy men. I hate when people are like that, It makes me cringe and think "get the fuck away from me."

Anonymous · Answer

Everyone needs to feel needed. But the problem with many women is not about being to independent. Men don't mind independent women. It's about their attitude toward men and how they treat men. In my experience most women who think men don't like them because they are "too independent" usually just have a chip on their shoulder and a poor attitude toward men.

puffynips · Answer

Im personally single because I choose to be. With school and growing pains learning how to be  Secure in my own skin before i can share such an intimate thing as marriage.

McZrN · Answer

Not exactly being needy, we like independent girls as long as it doesn’t get to their head. Like I personally dislike girls that think they can do everything on their own and become big headed and selfish with themselves as a result.

lilacs · Answer

Be independent. I wouldn’t change myself for anyone. Just be yourself. There is always going to be SOMEONE out there who doesn’t mind someone independent.

abc3643 · Answer

No. Not really. And those that do learn very quickly that they won't any longer.

Chaz269 · Answer

I don't, but I think some do. Particularly insecure guys.

Kenni · Answer

No one likes a needy partner. But on the other side there's a reason they're needy.

madgoat · Answer

It's difficult to bond with something that's immutable. Independence is good, but you need more than that.

azzntittiz · Answer

Yes, they like it when you need them so they can forsake you.

On_the_other_hand · Answer

A little needy is good, just to know you are each others primary focus. It is not a must though.

wiseyoungman · Answer

It's more about not making the guy feel like you DON'T need him. Being too independent will make him feel expendable

Cask23 · Answer

Depends how needy. I like when a women wants to be around and with me because she desires me, but I go crazy without some reasonable space occasionally.

GreatnessBack · Answer

in my opinion, I want someone who enjoys me as I enjoy them.  Neediness is not good thing so much. It's fine to be independent, but that means you don't have time for others, so what's the point?

SngBirdy · Answer

neediness and clinginess is indeed a rather flattering and cute trait in girls.

Sabretooth · Answer

i like an independent girl-just respect that i'm the one in charge-power i won't use unless i absolutely have to-i also don't want blind obedience-i want a partner with self-worth and self-respect-not a slave

Pejtu · Answer

If u are too independent and u act like u dont need / want anybody - nobody will even try to get close to you because whats the point even

realperson02 · Answer

If your idea of being independent is to brag or constantly poke about things you do by yourself then I guess you know why you're single

genericname85 · Answer

Everyone likes to be needed to a certain degree. Maybe it just seems like you don't want them.

winterfox10 · Answer

"too independent" is code for "doesn't know how to make you feel valued."

AcidT0y · Answer

Needy men probably do. I prefer someone who will just leave me alone sometimes and go do their own thing.

sunofdavis · Answer

No, well maybe at first, but that shit gets old fast

Anonymous · Answer

Of course there's a balance. You should show that you need people in your life, at the same time just don't leech and live off other people's success.

bklynbadboy1 · Answer

I personally think it depends on the guy but if I make a connection with you and the attraction is there it won't matter if your needy or independent

paw111 · Answer

In fact, there are differences between us men somebody looking for a woman there r needy and som dont

Anonymous · Answer

Needy? No, needy people are annoying. Interested and showing it it’s better.

Crankor · Answer

Usually the reasons are either not meeting people or not being attentive

Philyouup · Answer

I dont like needy girls.. prefer one that wants me, not needs me.

Anonymous · Answer

No, but I do needy women to give me lots of gits and, ideally, sex.

Anonymous · Answer

Yes and no. Let’s just say men like needy women a lot MORE than women like needy men.  There is a protective innate in most of us and it comes out when we see a damsel in distress

yugiibhi · Answer

To a certain extent it's cute but overly needy I think may be a turn off for some guys

Ghostwalker · Answer

When in a solid relationship, you both should need each other. Clingy is the turnoff.

MrBurke · Answer

Not to the point where it's annoying for me but yeah I like women her are needy

Fattyvapes16 · Answer

Isn’t this an obvious question it no we hate needy women

TacoFamine · Answer

Depends but yeah takes two to keep the flame a burning

Anonymous · Answer

You can guide them to think  On the town after some mentoring  Also they need girlfriends for some things

preciouspeter · Answer

First you have to tell me which kind of needs. Is it financial needs or emotional needs

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