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Girlfriend is letting herself go? Should I break up? (Page 5)
Anonymous
(36-45) 
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Dump her. She is a lazy slob and gets semi fit when she is looking for guys to date and then she relaxes. I know the type. You have all right to be upset. I maintain the same weight my whole life and and had problems and tragedies but I refuse to be fat and undisciplined no matter what. If a healthy lifestyle is important to you - dump her, she will only get fatter.
Come on man that’s so rude , you won’t even have sex with her anymore? That’s really shallow , I don’t think you should be dating anyone if this is how you think. Maybe you should just have flings instead
🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏 thank you!! Another man here that is fucking respectful and an actual mature man.
No problem ✊🏿, I just feel sorry for her. It’s probably just comfort weight and him rejecting her will make her gain weight aswell. He shouldn’t be dating if he treats women like this
I consider this a bullshit reason to leave someone, by itself, but you should be working with her to get her healthy again. Its also bullshit for women to expect no issue with sudden weight gain when that isn’t what you were expecting.
At this point i might leave the relationship if it bothers you that much.
She may have a medical, or mental issue going on too tho. I’m not sure. But 30-40 lbs is quite a bit of weight outside of the shallow range.
Very true. If he can't accept that then he should go get a different girl. Hope the next ones please him more.
You will not stay fit and yong forever but anyway just ask her to go on more walks/runs with you so it balances it out. Dieting is very difficult for some and as a woman even more difficult to loose weight cause of our bodies.
It’s simply that she’s let her hair down to reveal her true colors and you’ve discovered that you don’t like it. Move on. It doesn’t sound like you love her.
There's probably something deeper going on. Gaining 30 to 40 pounds in 10 months is not healthy. Again, it can be anything.
Uhm. Wow. Kinda shallow to break up with someone cuz of that. Try encouraging her to loss weight. Couples workout together. You can trick her to eat healthier by telling her that you wanna fix all her meals.
What you find sexually attractive has nothing to do with if you are a shallow person or not.
He is not shallow clearly, because he is still with her and trying to get her to be healthy, he didn't even once say that he wanted her to be skinny.
If you like well groomed healthy men and your boyfriend just starts sitting in front of the TV playing games stuffing his face adding weight, its eventually going to not get you sexually excited. It has nothing to do with you as a person.
Also if you get into a relationship with a healthy person because you share that interest and then they just put their hands up, then its comparable to a false advertisement.
I only said it’s shallow to consider it cuz of her weight problem
And he did clarify that it was beyond that
Thank you for pointing that out cuz i just read the beginning of it.
Sounds kinda like you wanna be with him. If so, you should try to ask him out asap
I have a boyfriend and wouldn't want to be with anyone else.
Kay that’s good
If having a fit girlfriend is more important to you than her feelings, go ahead. Not shaming you or anything. Okay, just a little bit. If my guy was really overweight of course his health would concern me, but I can't imagine how that alone could change the way I feel about him. If he stopped putting effort into our relationship because of that then maybe.
You're attitude is awful. No wonder she keeps eating.
Break up with her and let her find someone who actually loves her
Because what you have is no love. You are forcing her to feel awful about herself and I don't blame her.
breaking up with someone because they gained weight means you didn’t really love them in the first place
No it doesn't, they are dating, seeing if they are good fits, they aren't married. If it is this hard at 10 months than this is a fail, he should keep looking.
What matters the most is that the human is healthy, he can help his girlfriend go back on a diet and stay healthy or he can breakup with her. And just keep looking. in a serious relationship if it’s true love size doesn’t matter than. :)
I agree.
He has tried to help her, but she doesn't want it.
He said that its been 2 months since they haven't had sex, but he is still with her. Trying to get her to eat healthy, join him for workouts, but its her who doesn't want it.
And mind you she was healthy when they started, maybe that was one of the things that made him like her, now that's gone, it becomes mundane.
But he is still trying his best. But its ludacris to expect only one person to put in all the efforts and the other person to just not put in any.
He already helped her. By the looks of it, she's the type who needs someone to look after her, not help her. It's not his responsibility to take care of her as if she were a kid with an eating disorder. If she can't control herself the he deserves better.
Exactly
Oh okay
Also you can't force yourself to find someone sexually attractive.
Can you force yourself to find this man (in my opinion posted above) sexually attractive? Probably not, that because it something you can't control just like you can't control your preference in a partner.
I just read everything he said on his question detail, it’s his decision.
Well there are multiple studies showing that when you are happy and love your life you tend to gain more weight then when you are single because you when you are single you find something to occupy yourself like walking every day or going to the gym. Try doing something fun together to stay in shape like taking dance lessons or go hiking.
Also often times when people are sad they binge eat.
Not true, I know plenty fat unhappy people in relationships. Not everyone waits for the perfect one while keeping fit and then after settling down they let themselves go because you're trapped, that is deception and sinister.
That's why I didn't say all relationships
She some other issues are going on that’s why she is doing that, you need to find out what is going on before just giving up on her, maybe it’s very stressful for her to live up to your standards. Maybe you should show her you still love her, have sex with her again, instead of gym maybe swimming instead as a joint activity. It’s not so easy to find someone again if you dump her
Paragraphs, use them.
You should probably leave her, it sounds like you'll both benefit from it.
Let her know you are not into BBWs and if she doesn't lose the weight I don't see any reason to not break up with her. This goes both ways for men and women, if a woman tells me that her guy is doing the same thing I would tell her that any man unwilling to spend at least 30 minutes a day in the glorious house of gains ain't worth shit. So come to think about it I guess I am harder on guys but obesity in general is not something I would tolerate for a relationship.
No you idiot
Be grateful you even have a girlfriend whos that comfortable with you
Only 10 months? She doesn't care. She's only going to do the bare minimum to keep you around, and if you marry her, ours gonna get worse. Sounds like the type of girl who gets fit to GET a man, but won't stay fit to KEEP him. If its important to you, I'd let her go.
That’s a lot. I think you ought to to giver her a chance of self-improvement and really talk about things. If she doesn’t improve then you need to let her go.
I understand where you're coming from. I personally know I love my girlfriend I really do love her so if she gained weight I'd still be with her and still have sex.
I won't judge you in this since it's obviously bothering you quite a lot. It's best you break up don't expect people to change because you want too.
When you meet a person who is right for you you both will want a improve yourself for each other without asking for it
Break up with her. She'd be better off without you and you'd be better off without her. You need someone lean and physically attractive; she either needs someone who'd gently nudge her off this (most likely) depression or accept her for what she is and what she can give.
There's obviously a mismatch here. Just gently let her go, because you're not helping her and she's frustrating you.