What makes a pretty girl "unapproachable"?

Question

The question is pretty self-explanatory. One which I have struggled with. I know girls who, according to beauty standards, are pretty but some of them often complain about "having no chance with guys". Since I'm not at all experienced in the dating realm, please explain this to me: What makes you not want to talk to you a pretty girl? Is it you not feeling confident? is it the girl not sharing similar interests with you? is it her mannerism? is it her shyness? is it her unfriendliness? I am honestly baffled by this!

meowcow · Accepted Answer

Haha, @Baranishere...

You ask a very good question. If you understand what I'm about to tell you, you have a chance to get the hottest guy around.

Firstly, pretty girls and hot guys are not unapproachable. What I mean by this, is that there is no inherent quality of a hot person that makes him/her unapproachable.

The reason he/she is perceived to be unapproachable... is all because of... YOU. You have placed him/her on this altar or pedestal, where you knowingly or unknowingly believe that your attractiveness is not at the same level.

This means that most average-looking men and women are too afraid or feel unworthy to approach a super hot guy/girl. On the other end of the spectrum, most average-looking men and women have no problem speaking to unattractive ones.

Now... REVERSE...

From the perspective of the hot girl...
Hot girls are rarely approached. It is a very common complaint among supermodels and ultra-attractive women that they can't get a guy. Or when a guy actually approaches her, it is a douchebag. This is because many aggressive alpha-males have the guts to ask EVERY woman... average or attractive. And so while the average women gets approached by a mix of nice/douchebag men, the hot girl only gets approached by... douchebag men.

Hot girls and guys are human being just like you and me. And if they want happiness in their lives, they want a STABLE, LOYAL partner.

The only time that the average man thinks about asking a hot girl out... is when that hot girl already has a boyfriend that looks like an average guy. Because then the man will think, "What the hell is that gorgeous woman doing with that ugly guy... I'm better than him"". But by then, it's already too late. She's taken.

So if you want that hot guy, go and ask. The worst that can happen is he says no. If you never ask, you'll never know for your entire life what could have been. The reverse is true for guys... go ask her out.

ManOnFire · Accepted Answer

Because more often than not they act stuck up and sometimes do that simple-minded thing where you walk by and you do give a "Hello" or "How are you doing?" and they look you right in the eye and say nothing.

You can't think the world of yourself and be unapproachable yet want guys to want you.

silvermoon84 · Accepted Answer

Probably because if a guy even says “hello” to some of these women today, he’s likely to have a sexual harassment case against him. I’m not saying you would do that, but a lot of these women would which would make it scary to even approach a woman at all. Not to mention a lot of guys assume pretty women are either taken or not interested and then there are some who prefer to date lesser attractive women. Not all beautiful women are stuck up bitches.

I think beauty is both a blessing and a curse to many women, but you’ll find someone 😊

BluesheepOwl · Accepted Answer

I think it's all body language, no resting b face and not being afraid to look someone in the eye and smile. While also not treating or acting like you are better than everyone just because of your looks

abc3643 · Answer

If you Google "Beautiful Girl Syndrome", that's basically saying that beautiful girls can be bitchier and high maintenance because guys are willing to put up with more because she is so beautiful. Guys won't put up with so much shit and work if the girl isn't so attractive.

"Beautiful Girl Syndrome Type II" is a phrase I coined, but it's a real thing I discovered not quite 40 years ago. This will take some time to explain...

All guys need to feel that they can "win". They view things as something like a competition in which there is some goal that they want to achieve. If a guy wants something and he believes that there is SOME possibility that he may get it, he will get emotionally involved. If he begins to believe that he won't get that, then he begins to withdraw and get emotionally detached. However, sometimes a guy doesn't even think he has a chance, so he doesn't bother...

And this is where "Beautiful Girl Syndrome Type II" comes in. If a girl is really beautiful, a regular guy thinks:
1. There are a zillion other guys who want her.
2. She almost certainly already has a boyfriend.
3. There is no way she'd be attracted to me; I am not anything special.
4. If she did date me, she'd dump me for some better-looking guy who will hit on her and there definitely will be such a guy.
5. She's going to be bitchy and high maintenance. (In other words, he's thinking she suffers from normal Beautiful Girl Syndrome.)

So, he basically thinks that
1) he doesn't have a chance to get her,
2) if he did, he'll lose her, and
3) she's going to be a lot of work.

Because oceans of guys think like this - the only exception being the hunky guys - the beautiful girl either can't find a guy or goes with dickhead hunky guys (who suffer from Beautiful Guy Syndrome). Of course, the regular guys see the beauties with the hunky guys and that just reinforces their belief that they don't have a chance...

Oh, and one more thing: Since the beautiful girls can get guys, they are getting laid... So, any new boyfriend has to "compete" against all of her past lovers and many guys don't think they are going to "measure up" (if you know what I mean) compared to those past hunky guys.

So, a beautiful girl needs to be proactive and hit on men instead of waiting for them to hit on her. A beautiful girl being proactive removes doubts males have regarding Beautiful Girl Syndrome Type 2.

ChurchOfIron · Answer

She's perceived to be high value and unobtainable by most guys, if she is very attractive. I suppose you could say it's a lack of confidence, but it's also a feeling of "She's probably already taken, or probably only goes for millionaires and professional athletes, etc." Ironically leading to many attractive women not being approached at all. Average women seem to be more obtainable, so they get hit on the most.

See, when a bunch of women like a guy, it tells other women he is desirable and cool.

When a bunch of men are after the same woman, it tells other men "There's a shitload of competition here, so you are not valuable enough."

It could be her mannerisms or closed off body language, as well.

You could call it a lack of confidence, but I feel that's not entirely accurate, as it's also just questioning whether the risk is worth it, if she will blow them off or look down on them as far beneath her.

The guys who realize that that's not the case tend to win the most. So only the most confident guys go after the most attractive women, usually. Most guys prefer to go after seemingly more "obtainable" women.

lightbulb27 · Answer

I was very introverted and shy, so from my younger days at that age:
* Not feeling confident
* Actually being attracted and thus running the other direction.. thus intimidated in that I had no dating experience or girl experience.
* perception of her being a different person... e. g. in a diff social group I don't want to be part of (druggies, smokers, drinkers, partiers, etc..). Could be a mis perception.
* Her energy conveying negative emotion... e. g. stay away (in spite of all the makeup, etc..
* her hanging in a group of girls which would be even more intimidating
* don't know how to communicate with her... e. g. what to talk about

* Best you can do is convey confidence, appear approachable like a normal person, have some interests that that align with guys and learn how to mingle with them. You can't make someone ready who isn't.
* Maybe you should approach them, at least enter into their space.

Your question supposes that because she looks a certain way she should be approached. That isn't right. The guy has to be ready, have not just the interest (which is there by now at your age), but skills, practice, confidence, time/energy, and the girl has to look like she would fit in his world (e. g. she isn't so on a different level it intimidates).

The other personality would be an aggressive, experienced or outgoing guy, and why they don't approach I can only conclude they have other better options or are attracted to others.

3rdSrike · Answer

Too b! tchy , as in really mean and you know its better ot stay away and its not worth it to get rejected by someone like her, plus her entire attitude and life choices scream bad.

too self centered, spoiled, materialistic and high maintenace, look the majority of guys aren't rich, and we are not gonna tolerate always being compared to others and never letting our guard down cause you might leave us for a rich fella, therefore such women are problematic and better to stay away from.

Too friendly with guys... kissing, hugging and genrally being too close to men is a big no no for most men, we just dont tolerate loving a woman only to find out every other dude in a 100 miles range has had his way with her or keeps touching her here and there with her consent.

The girl whom we simply have no way to reach, maybe she's great all over but i dont know her name, rarely run into her and iam just never in the mood to approach or any other reason that basically prevents me from reaching her.

passinby · Answer

“What makes you not want to talk to you a pretty girl?” They tend to be in most cases narcissists so I usually don’t have my winter coat with me.” Is it you not feeling confident? “not really, I am just not into getting an unnecessary ass chewing for saying hello when I am out to enjoy myself. “is it the girl not sharing similar interests with you?” Couldn’t say unless I talked to her. “is it her mannerism?” I am not any good at ice sculpturing with a chainsaw “is it her shyness? is it her unfriendliness?” What happens here is she gets so much attention so that anymore from me would be harassment
“I am honestly baffled by this! “ Now you know!

BigFishSmallPond · Answer

They complain about having no chance with guys because they often believe themselves to be less then they are. Guys generally don't go for pretty girls do to them believing they are out of their league and that she wouldn't be happy with them. Some are unfriendly which is a turn off, if she's shy she seems to be a bitch' for not associating with anyone, mannerisms are actually a great judge for compatibility so? yes?, similar interests definitely help start relationships, and a lack of confidence hurts the chances.

JSmuve · Answer

Most attractive girls tend to already be taken or are talking to multiple guys. Plus, girls these days don't do anything to show they want to be approached. You see them buried in their phones with their ear buds in. Or they're busy with something and don't look like they're interested in being bothered by a random guy that they've never met and likely have no interest in.

So its not like they make it easy on themselves.

RalphBlack · Answer

Because 98% of men in society really don’t have a clue on how to talk to or treat a pretty girl.
We are brainwashed by the media whether we like it or not.
The past 30-40 men have watched movies about guys being all needy to girls, chasing them and then at the end of the movie they get the girl.
The guy does that and realizes that it’s not how life works.
If you watch older movies, the way a guy should act is more legit.
Men are afraid of the hotter women also because the hotter they are, the more they get hit on by weirdos. The girl puts up a guard and men who want to treat women right but don’t know how to stay centered and balanced fail.

wingattebaby16 · Answer

#1 is she projects "bitchiness" and "you are not the guy I want to ask me out"

#2 You try to say hi, she blows you off by not even acknowledging you or worse, "hi, whatever... im busy"

#3 They are looking for the perfect guy. Mr. Wonderful that meets ALL of their wants...

it is why when i see a guy i want to talk to or go out with, I dont waste time waiting for him to get his nerve up. If i see he is interested or he interests me, I talk to him and dont let him brush me off.

So, ask her out.. if she says NO, move on. Later, after you date some other women, go ask her out again. Word gets around amongst us girls when a guy is a good catch.

Dause · Answer

Most girls have a tendency to label guys who approach them.

Most any attractive girls you talk to speaks about how some guys are so creepy. Typically the prettiest girls are the ones who rant the hardest. Not many guys want to hit on a pretty girl and get told off or rejected by someone they have a half-formed crush on and called creepy behind their back.

Even though girls often do so behind the guy's back and not to his face... It is not like there are not other guys around to hear it. It is not like girls never tell guys what they think.

Guys know they get trash talked if they fail. Why else would so many people be hesitant at the simple act of talking?

Trolloween · Answer

Its not about their looks for me, it's how they have grown accustomed to being treated because of their looks. Pretty girls have such an easy time, everyone is nice to them and they get entitled and rude without even realising it. When they say no guys approach them what they really mean is only ugly or guys they don't class as being of high enough value approach them. My long term girlfriend was very pretty but she didn't have these traits I am not saying it's all of them but the odds of them being a bitch seem very high ime.

Anonymous · Answer

it's pretty much a combination of all of them.
when approaching girls, guys trend to rate them according to an scale, you know the classical 1-10 scale, normally is difficult for guys to talk with girls we think they are above "our league", the highest she is, more difficult is to approach them.
confidense has a lot to do with this, the lower the confidense of the guy, the highest he will rate pretty girls.
also, from the exterior, shyness can be percieved has this "Ice Queen" aura that makes the girl intimidating to talk with, you know, to break the ice.
also is the idea that every pretty girl is already in a relationship, or sick and tired of being annoyed by guys when they are just enjoying their time there.
the less confident and more shy the guy is, stronger are this factors.
i hope this helps you

Ranger2019 · Answer

Honestly... more often than unattractive girls, they're used to a certain amount of attention from a certain demographic. It makes them less kind, less empathetic to would be suitors... not all are like this, but a good majority. I find it's easier to see their darker nature than anyone else really as their less guarded. You never know when someone is like that from looks alone, just that with the increased odds of her attributes being soured since she's beautiful makes her more of a risk to hit me with rejection, I'm allergic to rejection... this in turn makes her unapproachable.

yeeeeeeeet · Answer

Let me put it this way. Talking to pretty girls is like playing the lottery. Those of us who aren't "rich" in terms of attractiveness feel like investing in this lottery is a waste of resources since many others play and only one wins. The people that spend more resources on the lottery have a higher chance of winning. The resources I'm talking about range anywhere from looks to time to talent to money etc. To give an example, my marginal cost is way higher than my marginal benefit since my chances to win are extremely small but the reward doesn't scale to match that. I won't play the lottery because I have more important things to invest in first. If I had an increase in resources, I'd be more inclined to play, thus my 'chances of playing vs. resources' graph would look something like a normal distribution skewed somewhat to the left.

Terp101 · Answer

One reason would be confidence, ultimately in both parts in fear of being rejected. Some have already made of their mind saying "she is out of my league". Admittedly I've done that a lot. Of course, if you never try you'll never win right. Quite frankly a lot of people, just seem rather disinterested when going out. Coming across as already taken or not looking. Not much talking or facial expressions, no smiling or laughing or open body language, which is probably the essentials that make any person approachable. Add this on top of slight insecurity and you've created an invisible barrier. Which is why I've always found it easier to connect with people through sports/school/work etc, where you're more or less forced to interact, in one way or another.

But hey, I know it might be overwhelming. But girls are allowed to approach a guy as well, that way, it might be easier for some people.

Anonymous · Answer

In my experience it's a vibe she gives off that she is arrogant, self-absorbed or has a bad attitude toward guys, or being approached by guys.

Approaching women today has become a very dangerous and hazardous proposition for guys on multiple levels. We can easily get accused of harassment or being creepy and many women just seem super bothered when a guy they don't find attractive approaches them. That kind of rejection is pretty hard on us.

If she seem warm and friendly and like a genuinely nice person, then she is approachable.

MM442 · Answer

Her stuckup angry face and body language that says you approach me you die! She walks fast, right past me like I'm nothing to her. She's with other guys, she's having fun with a guy and girl, just ignores me standing behind her and sits in a curved booth with a guy both pretty girls on each side of him having fun both girls looking at the guy and smiling at him, very obvious both girls want that one guy, oblivious that I even exist! I can be alone and I just get totally ignored. I won't try if they don't try. Girl having kids with her and the kids are in the way or acting up yelling and crying, she has to pay total attention to the children, no chance to approach her at all. She is with a guy that probably is her boyfriend or husband. She is with other people and looks at me like I'm lower than dirt to her then starts talking to her friends in a snobbish way, then they all walk away talking. There are a lot of reasons not to approach a pretty girl.

Teapotato · Answer

Easy-going, friendly women are the most approachable. Looks honestly don’t have much to do with it; body language and attitude are far more important! I want to get to know nice, kind and funny people.

I don’t like to approach total strangers, ‘cause you’re interrupting someone. If they don’t look like they’d welcome a chat with a stranger, I’d not bother. It can be intimidating to see someone give everyone the evil eye. Read their body language and avoid them.

Kelliblondebabe · Answer

I've been bitchy, mean and in some cases a real "I'm me and there's nobody as good " and guys got humiliated and embarrassed to even to me, but I was being a right slut for bad boys! I soon learnt I was thought of as an easy slapper by the lads and a love myself bimbo by the quiet ones

ObscuredBeyond · Answer

If she's a pathological liar, a Potifar wife, a manipulator, con artist, atheist, pro-abortion, pro-any form of sexual anarchy, taken, snooty, rude, shallow, incorrigible, ill-tempered, excessively violent, mentally deranged, or has some other outstanding red flags, she could be a fantasy come to life in appearance, and I still wouldn't have anything to do with her.

No one needs a witch like that.

Crocuta_Hyaenidae · Answer

I often don't bother initiating with girls who are very conventionally attractive.

Often times, they have very little interesting going on on their heads. Their looks attract the interest, which gives them a pass to let their minds and character decay.

If I go for girls at all, I go for healthy-looking, moderately attractive ones.

I'm not intimidated, I just know better.

turnmypainintopower1 · Answer

I don't know either I am not approached because I am not attractive but some of my blonde hair blue eyed beautifull friends don't get approached either and I think it is because guys think they might not have a chance because they are too pretty but that is just my opinion I am not a guy so I wouldn't know but It might be true

ddfafdfdsf · Answer

If a girl is too stylish or wearing expensive gear, yeah it's scary because it appears they are after a guy with a big wallet.
Experience tells us as guys that the prettiest girls know they are above average and they're usually quite rude. So if you're a very pretty girl, dress more casual and DON'T BE RUDE.

JoeSchmo123 · Answer

Everything that you stated could be a factor. A lot of men are actually intimidated by attractive women for one reason or another and a lot will figure they're already in a relationship, so may not approach. You are spot on, but it will mainly vary by the individual and the specific interaction.

Anonymous · Answer

Some women are intimidating be it their looks or their overall vibe. I know because I've struggled with it. All my exes admitted they were afraid to talk to me at first because they were afraid I would reject them and I'm just... intimidating in general? Even though I don't try to be. It's all about vibes.

lofii · Answer

If she's pretty, she might be a total stuck up bitch who thinks she's god's gift to this earth because she was born with aesthetic beauty making her vain and shallow.

Believing she is out of everyone's league because of her beauty

In reality tho, she's just another dumb thot

ThisAndThat · Answer

OK here is something I wish feminist could see for them selves. They speak of empowerment and they don't even realize how powerful beauty is which brought up the question. Beauty itself is very powerful and that is why guys are intimidated by it. So indeed females have special powers that men don't have if they'd only realize that.

zagor · Answer

Years ago if a girl was pretty AND had a great personality, I would (in my mind) have them on such a pedestal that I felt I couldn't approach them, like I was not worthy. Sadly, much later I found out that a couple of them were actually interested in me.

AbdKilani · Answer

For me, I am a special case, I won't approach any girl unless I have the feeling to do so, even if she was really pretty I won't do anything unless I am like really attracted then I Wil just act without any consideration.
As for most guy they would think that she is taken most of the time because a good looking girl won't be single.

OpenWine · Answer

they don't even have to be pretty for that.

basically any girl who does or does not smile at me and give a stare who does not reply to basic interaction like "HI" makes me want to turn my back on. if y'all just foolin around go on some shitty dating apps to boost yo low ego

winterfox10 · Answer

That's a tricky question. It's usually a combination of factors. Unapproachable could be something as simple as having headphones on all the time, to something as complicated as just not looking like you want people to talk with you because you have resting B face.

Rangers · Answer

A warning sign that a girl will be unfaithful to me is being very popular, so if she has a ton of friends, especially if her friends are girls, I know that pursuing her will only lead to pain, heartbreak, and I don't know whether or not I'll be able to control my anger.

PrivateJim · Answer

Probably since your pretty I'd assume you've got heaps of boys chasing after you so my chances would be slim or none so I'd just accept that and not even bother. Also my lack of confidence and shyness would also make my chances slim. The likelihood of rejection and the conversation being awkward would stop me

Anonymous · Answer

It’s a confidence issue with guys believing that she is likely taken or gets hit on a lot and likely very defensive/choosy.

I still talk to them anyway. Sometimes you might be surprised, they might be attracted to the guy too. If I get rejected at least I can walk away with knowing I had the balls to approach her.

Clo917 · Answer

I think both facial expression (RBF for example) and body language can make someone look closed off and unapproachable.

massb · Answer

Well why don’t girls try approaching guys for a change and see how hard it is. Although girls will get let down easier if they do get reject which I’m sure they won’t. Guys are afraid of rejection and nervous and don’t know how women want to be approached

Anonymous · Answer

My ugliness 😂 💩 inside and out.

Tired of getting played by the same pretty ones who say they are alone or want someone to love them.

Then you can see them getting drunk and allowing “pretty men”(men who they like) treat them like shit and watch them struggle. While hearing a bunch of people calling her a “hoe” no matter how much you don’t want to believe it or don’t believe it. It still hurts. 💔🖤

So I try to ignore them or walk away. But I always get the same ones over and over.

normalice · Answer

i think it's that some of us assume we have to take pretty girls seriously. But guys your age are generally not ready to be serious. It's a pressure to perform, perhaps..

art84 · Answer

If a pretty girl is stuck up then I find her being approachable like if she thought she was the envy of her friends. Like a sorta of snobbish to her like she is too good to talk to you. Like you feel like she doesn't want to be bothered and you got on her bad side.

Anonymous · Answer

fear of rejection and her bitchy face. Smiling and being positive makes girl pretty and approachable. a lot girls stare at me in public but some of them look like they want to kill me. They look mad but even they are not. I know one girl that has good personality but when she stare at me she looks super mad and creppy

miketension · Answer

No girl is out of my league. She has got only power to say ‘no’ to me. Sorry, I can’t chase them for love. There are lots of beautiful girl out there with whom I can date. Every lady is beautiful in their own ways. Love you all beautiful ladies.

Anonymous · Answer

A virgin girl for me. I am a virgin too.

Women without Manners

Non-traditional women

VIMP -Immodest women

Note- I don't support viels Burkhas hijabs and similar...

Women can be modest and look attractive without wearing revealing clothes and express their sexuality with novelty

Women who use makeup everyday

Woman who practice "fashion" and are obsessed with the "latest fashion trends"

Women obsessed with social media.

Woman with lot of guy friends.

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Anonymous · Answer

We have all the same thoughts, feelings and insecurities you women do about approaching, yet we're "expected" to be the ones to do it? Fear of rejection. That's all it is. Nobody likes or wants it. And yes, like it does with you women, it stops us from doing it at all sometimes.

cth96190 · Answer

Title IX; #MeToo; false rape allegations; sexual harassment complaints; the Daluth Model; child support; alimony; absence of due process and a presumption of male guilt.

Anon_af · Answer

The thing that makes a pretty girl unapproachable would be one, or a combination of the following:
Tied shoelaces
Her force field
Geographical features, like oceans
Her bodyguard
Her taser
Her body odour
His sense of direction (‘Marco... polo!’)

Factshurt90 · Answer

Same with men. I turn into a total idiot who doesn’t remember my own name. The guy/girl is out of my league and I often feel judged by them even if they haven’t done anything.

constantine15 · Answer

Because many ugly guys, like myself, get called a creep or the women harshly rejects us and humiliates us. Actually, now that I think about it, MOST women do this... not just the pretty ones. If a guy isn't attractive, it's a waste of time for him.

Blackbrowny · Answer

Well as far i can tell i think its just that some people have personal traits others consider a no go... for example i heard that some guys would never date a feminist so jeah... no gos for one, and maybe just no shared interest in the other part.

Enaya · Answer

Sorry of my life! I want to hear the answers too. Guys stare at me like they will eat me alive but will not talk to me. This is worse because I am shy and can’t talk to them.

LeoElias · Answer

When they have that bitch face. They look like a bitch or they are just some dumb slut who'll eat all your money. At that point looks aren't worth it unless it's an easy fuck where you don't need to waste too much of your time with her

Anonymous · Answer

I always get this! No guys ever come up to me except the creepy ones that have been drinking way too much. All the nice cute boys go for girls much lower in their league

azzntittiz · Answer

You will so regret thinking like this, never force anyone to like you, nor should you beg them, neediness will ruin you.

Euphoric · Answer

What’s the point of approaching you when you probably get a ton of attention anyway by being pretty, you wouldn’t value my attention as much unless I’m bringing something amazing to the table, like a huge cock, money, equal attractiveness or personality. If I’m just a regular guy, no way you’d care for my attention. Just another guy.

unomilkis1 · Answer

For me no girls ever unapproachable. Its more so that am I willing to do the trade off of being embarrassed by giving a shot at droppin the young holla holla at her. And the answer is always no, no matter who it is.

NaultD · Answer

You just have to try to do different things to get a response you want. Most of it comes from the look of your eyes.

Anonymous · Answer

For me it's my resting bitch face and extremely serious attitude.
I do still get approached though lol.
If you are a 'pretty' girl and dont get approached then you're not as pretty as you think you are, or something else is deeply wrong.

kreamykraemez · Answer

Usually it's because a lot of them have a huge ego and will be compete assholes to me but with some exceptions bust the girl that was the exception she slept around a lot so It honestly depends I am not afraid to approach them at all

RobLovesDemi19771992 · Answer

Her personality if she acts like a cold hearted bitch to everyone thats an instant red flag to stay sway and not bother because a “woman” like that will only cause you problems (aka a southern new england “woman”)

Anonymous · Answer

all go up to any pretty go the difference with me is i find sex overrated and don't really want that i like the communication and interaction fun time laugh most are really shy and insecure in them self out of every 100-1 would show confidence and that so attractive when you experents the confident girl is so fuck sexy and yell understand why girl like confident guys is a big turn on

OnlyYouKnowThat · Answer

What makes a pretty girl unapproachable is her 6'4" Hells Angel biker boyfriend standing right next to her.

What makes a pretty girl "unapproachable"?

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